15. Kit Midnight Chats and Realizations
Kit: Midnight Chats and Realizations
Kit tossed and turned for hours, but his mind wouldn’t settle.
It strayed to the vision of the travelers’ bodies; the limbs strewn across the medical lab beneath the castle.
Then, it turned to what might have happened if he hadn’t been able to get to Nelle and the children in time.
After turning over that possibility, it then focused on Robin’s unknown state.
From what the voice that had taken over Nelle’s body had said, Kit was fairly certain his brother was still alive, but for how long? And where was he?
At last, Kit gave up on sleep. As he threw back the covers and draped a robe over his shoulders, he shook his head. He should be past this by now. He was supposed to be the protector of his people, their prince. Why couldn’t he be that now?
He sighed as he lumbered out of his room. He stopped for a moment at the door of the room he’d given Hansel and Gretyl and peeked inside. Gretyl was asleep on her side in the enormous bed, her face slack with sleep. Hansel, however, was pacing the room. He stopped when he saw Kit’s horned head.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep,” the little boy said. He scampered back to the twin bed at the far end of the room, the one Kit assumed had been for a nanny or nursemaid. “I’ll just?—”
“Come on, lad,” Kit said, keeping his voice low so he wouldn’t wake Gretyl. “I’ve heard a cup of warm milk can do wonders for insomnia.”
Hansel frowned. “Insom-what?”
“Being unable to sleep,” Kit explained, holding back a chuckle. “I think we can find some in the kitchens.”
Hansel hesitated for a moment, then nodded and slipped out into the hallway. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, lad,” Kit said, putting his huge paw on the little boy’s small shoulder. “Tell me, why can’t you sleep?”
Hansel shrugged. “Just thinking about Papa, I suppose. He will be worried about us.”
“I’ll take you back to him as soon as daylight breaks,” Kit assured him. “Neither of us wants to worry your father unnecessarily.” They tiptoed down the steps.
“All I do is worry him,” Hansel complained. “Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything right. If I leave Gretyl behind, he’s mad because I wasn’t protecting her. But if I bring her with me, I worry him because he doesn’t know where either of us is.”
Kit gave a rumbling laugh. “I know how that is. My brother is a year younger than me. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t always supposed to be my brother’s keeper. Even now, I find myself worrying about him.”
“Does it ever get better?” Hansel wondered.
“It will get easier once your sister knows how to take care of herself. I know there are spells and trinkets that can help blind people become more independent. But, no, I don’t think you ever stop worrying about your little brother or sister.” Kit offered a wry smile. “I know I haven’t.”
Hansel frowned, lost in thought. “There are spells that can help Gretyl become more independent?”
“Of course,” Kit assured him. “One of the men my father employed was blind. He used a spell that would tell him when he was about to run into something, and another spell that would help him find places he went often. It’s not as easy when you’re in a bandit camp, I’m sure, but I’m certain there are spells that can help make your sister’s life a little easier. ”
“Can you teach me?” Hansel asked eagerly.
Kit paused for a moment, thinking. Hansel was human, so Fey magic wouldn’t be as useful to him.
But there had to be magic that would be accessible to him.
“Tell you what,” he said, realizing that the little boy was still waiting for an answer.
“Let me do some research about what type of spells would be most useful for Gretyl, and then I’ll find a way to teach both of you. ”
Hansel smiled as the pair entered the kitchen. To Kit’s surprise, it was already occupied.
“Hansel! What are you doing up?” Nelle asked from her position by the oven, where she was kneading some form of sticky dough.
The little boy shuffled his feet awkwardly. “I couldn’t sleep. Kit said warm milk might help.”
“Warm milk, huh?” Nelle asked with a barely suppressed grin. “I think I have some left on the stove.” She nodded to the small saucepan that rested on the burner. “You two can help yourselves.”
“What are you making?” Hansel asked as he clambered up to sit on the counter while Kit busied himself pouring two cups of warm milk.
“Orange cardamom buns,” Nelle said. “I thought we needed something a little cheerful for breakfast tomorrow after our fright in the woods.”
“Can I help?” Hansel asked.
“Finish your milk first, and wash your hands,” Nelle said.
“I’ve never heard of orange cardamom buns,” Kit said, leaning back against the countertop and sipping his milk.
Nelle shrugged as she reached over to turn down the lamp, leaving the kitchen shrouded in shadows.
“I didn’t know what they were when I first started making them.
I made a lot of recipes by muscle memory when I first got to camp.
Sometimes, it was hard to make a recipe when I couldn’t remember exactly what went in them, or even tell the people who went to the market what to look for.
But Ivy, one of the cooks at the camp, had some cardamom lying around, and after a bit of experimenting, these were the result.
” She winked at Hansel. “They’re not quite as good as my cinnamon rolls, but I thought I’d save those for another sleepless night. ”
Kit caught her eye. “You couldn’t sleep either?”
Nelle was silent as she continued to knead the dough. “No. It wouldn’t come.”
“Were you worried about Papa too?” Hansel asked, fighting through a yawn.
“No, I was…lost in thought, I suppose,” Nelle said, shrugging. She placed the dough in an already-oiled bowl and covered it with a cloth. “What do you want to dream about tonight, Hans?”
“Dragons,” the little boy said, resting his head and arms on the table. “Lots of dragons.”
“Dragons are fun to dream about,” Nelle murmured as she began flitting around the kitchen, putting away her ingredients.
Kit watched the pair, bemused. “How did you do that?”
“Do what?” Nelle frowned. “It’s just yeast and flour, with a hint of?—”
“No, not making the dough.” Kit nodded to where Hansel was now fighting to keep his eyes open. “He was wide awake a few minutes ago.”
“I have a lot of practice getting him and Gretyl to bed,” Nelle murmured.
“Kai sometimes stays out late hunting, and their step-mother isn’t particularly interested in being a mother.
” She frowned. “I hope she’s better when I’m not…
around. Or that the next camp mother knows how to deal with these sleepless nights. ”
“Camp mother?” Kit repeated.
“It’s my name for the women who take care of the kids in the camp.
There are a lot of orphans and refugee kids, and the hunters and gatherers can’t always keep an eye on them.
So some people in camp, people who don’t have any innate skills that would be useful to our people, take care of the little ones. ”
“You don’t have innate skills?” Kit nodded to where the dough rested on the counter. “It seems to me that you’d make an excellent cook.”
“There are dozens of people who take turns on cooking duty,” Nelle shrugged. “There are only a few who will look after the children. And even fewer who are willing to deal with Gretyl’s…” She trailed off. “Well, anyway, the kids will be alright. They’re resilient and stronger than they appear.”
“But they’ll miss you,” Kit pointed out.
Nelle shook her head. “They’ll forget me soon enough. Someone else will come along.” There was no doubt in her voice. “They always do.”
Kit studied her. “Do you really think you’re so forgettable?”
“I don’t think I am. I know it,” Nelle whispered. “After all, if I weren’t, wouldn’t someone have come looking for me before now? The only reason you did was because I cast that infernal spell on you.”
Kit shook his head. “Kemma?—”
“From what Kemma says, I practically made her. She’s bound to remember me for that,” Nelle interrupted. Her shoulders hunched. “It’s okay, Kit. I don’t mind being forgettable. It’s really a blessing, if you think about it.”
Kit opened his mouth to argue, but a soft snore interrupted him. The two looked down at Hansel, who had somehow ended up curled up on the hard counter. Nelle shook her head. “Poor boy. He must be exhausted.”
“It was an awfully busy day,” Kit agreed, slipping his arms under the boy’s head and knees. “I’ll take him up to bed. Don’t stay up too late, alright?”
“I won’t,” Nelle said, keeping her eyes on the spice cupboard. “See you in the morning.”
“See you in the morning,” Kit said. He moved to leave the room, then stopped himself. “Oh, and Nelle?”
She looked at him, meeting his eyes for a moment.
To his surprise, her moss green eyes were full of tears.
He longed to go to her, to comfort her, but he held himself back.
He was still a beast, he reminded himself.
She deserved better than him. Still, his voice shook slightly when he spoke.
“You’re not forgettable. On the contrary, you are remarkable.
And anyone who can’t see that is a fool. ”
A single tear spilled down Nelle’s cheek as she shook her head. “You’re just saying that.”
Kit frowned, then took a step forward, wanting to go to her. He stopped, cognizant of the child in his arms. “No. I never say anything that I don’t mean. You are not forgettable, Nelle. Trust me on that.”
After a moment, she met his eyes again and nodded. They stood in silence, staring at each other, frozen in time.
At last, Kit forced himself to break the spell and cleared his throat. “Well, um, I’d better get the little lad into bed. Good night.”
“Good night.” Nelle’s words were no more than a whisper. His eyes lingered on him for another minute, trying to memorize her form, before he turned and mounted the stairs.
Once he’d carefully placed Hansel in his bed, Kit turned and walked back down the hallway.
He stopped at his bedroom door, hesitating, but he couldn’t make himself enter.
Instead, he continued down the hallway to the library.
No, sleep would not come to him easily, despite the warm milk that now sat heavily in his stomach.
Perhaps he would make good on his promise to find spells that could make Gretyl’s life a little easier.
But when he entered the library, he stopped short.
He couldn’t enter without remembering the voice that had overtaken Nelle’s body just a few hours earlier.
He shivered at the memory, but forced himself to focus on it for a moment longer as something pricked at his subconscious.
Something about the voice was familiar…So familiar… but why?
One of the voice’s first words floated back to him. Not to worry, little prince, I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually. He’d heard that taunt before, though, at the time, it hadn’t been a jibe, but a playful condescension. The woman’s version of flirting.
Kit’s eyes widened. He knew where he remembered the voice from.
But that wasn’t possible…was it? He felt bile rise in his throat and he stumbled backward.
He turned on his heel and made his way jerkily back to his room.
As he lurched along, he reviewed the evidence in his mind, then repeated the process.
After doing it a third time, he was certain: the voice belonged to someone he’d never have expected: his former-betrothed, Queen Snow White.