Chapter 14
The knock at the cottage door came just as Bryn was beginning to resign herself to an Amelia-less evening.
It was getting late. It was getting dark.
She had already put on her pajamas (but they were her nicest blue pinstriped ones, because you never knew).
When the knock came, she almost didn’t believe that it was real.
Was she just hearing that because she so desperately wanted a knock?
And even if she did hear a knock, maybe it was Piper—or maybe Amelia was just stopping in for a moment, Headmistress Mode activated.
There was absolutely no guarantee that this knock, even if it was Amelia, indicated that she was as—well, desperate wasn’t a very chill word, but Bryn could feel herself getting a little bit desperate to kiss her crush again.
The kissing had gone well, she thought, but maybe this was Amelia saying it was all a mistake and they needed to call it off.
Not that there was anything to call off—
At which point the knock came again and she realized she was standing there dithering, instead of answering her door.
When Amelia saw what she was wearing, she blanched. “Oh, my gods, I’m so late. I’m sorry. I’ve been meaning to get up here. I got super distracted. I did eight thousand things and now I’m too late. I’m sorry. We can talk tomorrow.”
But Bryn ushered her in with a grin that she feared was about to split her face.
Could your lips actually split open because you were smiling so hard?
Probably not, right? That would be a design flaw.
“No, come in,” she said quickly. “Come in.” She waved her hand and three candles sprung to life at the edge of the kitchen counter.
The cottage was neat, tidy, clean, and it honestly looked adorable in the candlelight—much less like a place she’d only occupied for a few weeks.
“I’m really sorry it’s so late,” Amelia said again, standing awkwardly, not quite committing.
“I’m not,” Bryn told her, taking one hand and, after a moment of indecision, leading her to the bed. “Sit.”
It was definitely forward to lead her to the bed instead of the chair, but really it came down to the fact that they were holding hands and she didn’t want to let go just yet. The bed was the place where they could sit next to each other. Perfectly innocent.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” Bryn said, meaning this to be a romantic statement.
Amelia immediately shot up to her feet. “I’m really sorry about the governors.
If I’d known they were coming, I would have warned you, obviously, and then when I suggested we go see someone else’s classroom, they said they wanted to see yours.
I really didn’t mean that to be a trap. I’m sure it felt like it was. ”
“Only by the governors,” Bryn said. “Not by you.”
“Oh, good.” Amelia still didn’t sit down.
“Is everything okay?” Bryn asked, heart sinking.
So this wasn’t going to be about kissing.
This was going to be about never kissing again.
She steadied her nerves. It was okay. She had lived for this long, thinking that Amelia didn’t want her.
Even though it had been a nice few days, she could still go back to thinking Amelia didn’t want her.
It would take a bit of mental adjustment, but she could manage it.
“Violet did great, though, didn’t they?” Amelia said.
Bryn smiled. Back on work. That was good. Much more neutral. “Violet was brilliant. I told them that they should be very proud. They rolled their eyes.”
Amelia smiled. “That sounds like Violet.”
Bryn had already sat down. Amelia was still awkwardly standing.
It was the first time Bryn had ever looked up at her, probably in the entire time they’d known each other.
At this angle, Amelia’s profile was softer somehow.
Less angular. She knew she was staring, but what the hell.
There were only so many moments in her life when she would get to look at Amelia Hexford like this, before they’d go their separate ways and probably only see each other periodically at school reunions. So she looked.
Amelia, catching her glance, blushed. “I shouldn’t have kissed you,” she said.
“Like, ever, at all. And I’m really sorry I did.
And I hope, I really hope, sincerely, that it didn’t make you uncomfortable, because I would be mortified.
Not that it would be about me. It would be about you, obviously, but that was never my intention.
” The words came out with the rush of an unblocked dam, the force of them as if they’d been building all day or maybe for a period of days.
“Will you sit?” Bryn asked.
“I’m really, really sorry,” Amelia said.
Bryn sighed. “I wasn’t sorry. I thought it was nice.”
Amelia sank slowly onto the bed beside her, not close enough to touch, even casually.
“You did? I mean …” She looked away. “Just, I started thinking about it and, you know, I had no business doing that. And you kind of work for me. And what if you didn’t think that you could say no, or you thought that it might make things awkward because I gave you this job, even though that has nothing to do with it.
I promise. I swear. It’s just, you kissed me first. And obviously that doesn’t mean anything.
I know that intellectually. I really do.
I promise. You were probably just having a moment and I took it way too seriously and overthought it, which, to be honest, is kind of what I do. ”
“You too?” Bryn asked, feeling the barest spark of something that might be hope. Maybe this wasn’t Amelia being disinterested, but Amelia worried that she was disinterested.
“But I’m in a position of power, or at least …” She paused. “Quote-unquote-power.” She paused again.
“I was hoping we could do it again,” Bryn said into the silence that followed. “The kissing, I mean, both of us kissing each other.”
“You were?” Amelia’s eyebrows went up, eyes wide, looking younger somehow, more vulnerable.
“Definitely,” Bryn said. “Yeah, for days now. I mean, you should have come by earlier.” She laughed a bit ruefully.
“I even made desserts. I mean, not made-made. I cadged them from the kitchen. But I got enough for both of us, just in case you showed up and wanted dessert. And I had the best casual I definitely wasn’t waiting for you, but I still look really cute outfit on.
Not the kind of thing I would wear to class, but you know. ”
Amelia laughed. “I want to see it.”
Which was certainly possible. Bryn could get changed again.
There was a bathroom. It would be proper.
But she decided she didn’t want to. She assumed a very prim expression and said, “You can’t.
It’s my only cute outfit and I’m saving it for next time.
” She plucked at the blue pinstriped pajama set. “These are my cutest PJs, though.”
“Very cute,” Amelia agreed, with mock formality. “But are you sure you’re not mad I kissed you?”
“Not at all,” Bryn said. “Are you mad I kissed you?”
“No. No, I’m far from mad you kissed me, actually. It’s probably … Well, I don’t even think I should explain how not-mad I am about that.”
“Oh, please do,” Bryn teased. “Please tell me all about it.”
“You’re so naughty,” Amelia said.
Bryn batted her eyelashes. “Have I been naughty, Headmistress?”
Amelia let out the most surprised snort of amusement. “Oh gods, don’t say that.” The amusement faded. “There is a power imbalance and I’m worried about it.”
Bryn nodded, because this was serious and because, honestly, it was reassuring.
Amelia cared about people and about the different levels of power and privilege that existed between them.
Bryn cared about those things too. “I hear that. And I appreciate you bringing it up. But as much as you gave me this job, it doesn’t really feel like you’re my boss.
When you and I talk about things, it’s collaborative.
And maybe you could fire me at this point, but I’m not so sure.
” She shrugged. “No offense, obviously. The way the governors acted this morning made it feel a lot more like they are the ones in charge.”
“Welcome to my world.” Amelia sighed.
“I guess what I’m saying is that this doesn’t feel like a power imbalance. It feels like an opportunity. To me, anyway.”
“To me too,” Amelia said. “But I don’t want to screw it up.”
“I’m not that worried about you screwing it up,” Bryn said. “If anyone screws it up, it will probably be me.”
“Um, excuse me, I have screwed up plenty of things,” Amelia proclaimed.
“Okay, name five.”
“All right. Well.” Amelia considered this. “I once did very poorly on a geography lesson at university.”
Bryn giggled. “That’s your best example of you screwing something up? You did badly one time in one class?”
“It was quite irritating at the time.”
“I’m sure it was.” She struggled to keep a straight face.
“But listen, I don’t feel like there is any reason, ethically speaking, that we can’t kiss more.
If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I totally accept that.
But if both of us want to …” She swallowed.
She could do this, she could say this. It was true.
“And I definitely want us to kiss again. So I think we should. Shouldn’t we?
Plus,” she added, “I’ve always kind of thought the naughty headmistress thing was hot.
I mean, to be clear, you do want to kiss your new teacher, making you a very naughty headmistress indeed. ”
Amelia blushed again. “Hush, don’t even say that.”
“Why?” Bryn asked, leaning closer. “Amelia Hexford, are you a bit into the naughty headmistress thing? Is this a kink we should explore?”
“Oh my.” The blush deepened. “Bryn, I …”
There were many areas in which Bryn had painfully limited experience, and less than no confidence.
Like teaching. But this was an arena in which she considered herself if not an expert, then at least an experienced amateur.
She reached out slowly and let her fingers come into contact with Amelia’s neck, gently sliding around the back, only resting there. “How does that feel?” she asked softly.
Amelia’s breath released in one long exhalation that stirred the tiny hairs on Bryn’s skin. “Incredible.”
“If I do anything that doesn’t feel good, tell me. Right?”
“Yes.” Amelia leaned in, eyes on Bryn’s. “Is it okay if you take the lead for a while?”
“More than okay. So, so much more than okay.” The stirrings of an intensity Bryn didn’t think she’d ever felt before seemed to sizzle at her fingertips and she closed the distance between them by pulling Amelia forward. “My safe word is pineapple.”
The tension around Amelia’s eyes seemed to relax just a little. “Mine is furnace.”
“Furnace?” Bryn allowed her thumb to brush against Amelia’s throat in what she hoped was a super sexy way. “How very … hot.”
It only took a split second for Amelia to process the silly joke. Then she laughed, leaned in, and pressed her lips to Bryn’s. They kissed through laughter, and instead of lightening the mood, the laughter took it further.
Bryn had time to think, This bodes well … And then they were kissing again and thinking far less.