Chapter 10 #3
“Baby? See, that little nickname is the reason this is a bad idea, Luke. I’m sorry. I’ll come get my things and leave your key once you head to the game.”
I was back in the clubhouse sitting at the table, eating my pregame meal, thinking about Hollis’s words. I grunted as I took another bite of food.
“Damn nigga, you do know no one is forcing you to eat that shit, right? It’s a whole spread over there free for you and me,” Shepherd said, taking a bite of his food.
“That ain’t it,” I said, shaking my head.
“Then what is it? Because I don’t like this bad energy you’re passing around right now. It’s bad ass juju before the game.”
“I’ma lose my wife again.”
“Again, nigga? You don’t have her for real now.” That comment had me snarling at him before I answered.
“Yeah, man, and that’s the problem. To her I’m public enemy number one even when we’re on good terms.”
“Good terms? Fool, it’s only been what, a week or two? There are no good terms yet. You ain’t even back in your role fully to define anything good.”
I waved him off. “Three and I ain’t never left my position.”
“But you did. You’ve been gone from her life for years now. Stop trying to change the subject, what happened?”
“We got hit with another term of the will that extends our time living together and our marital status.”
“Ah, and I take it she wasn’t on board with the added time.”
“Nigga, hell no. The lawyer said six months, and the way Hollis acted, you would’ve sworn she said a lifetime. Hollis said she couldn’t do it. So I’ma call the lawyer and let her know the change then buy it for double whatever Ray’s ass lists it at, if he sells.”
Shepherd’s laugh was loud and deep, gaining attention from other players.
“Fool, you and I both know that muthafucka ain’t selling you shit and damn sure not the car. You fucked up. You’ve got a better chance of persuading your wife and doubling her money to get her to help you than that nigga giving, no, selling you shit.”
“Naw, the way Hollis looked, I’ma have to take my chances with Ray because I just reached my third strike with my wife.”
Shepherd grunted as he shook his head.
“I swear that’s your damn problem. You’re too quick to give up. Let me ask you a question and be honest with yourself. Do you love your wife?”
“Yes. And I know I always will.”
“Do you want your wife back?”
“I already did, you’re not listening, and now I’ma lose her again.”
“Aht wrong, nigga. you ain’t got shit but a woman you’re legally bonded to.
You can’t walk back into her life and weeks in demand to be back in a spot you fumbled before.
Naw, women like Hollis need reminders. You have to show and prove that you want and need her, that you desire your wife and don’t want to lose her.
But let me ask you this, is this just a physical thing? ”
I scoffed.
“Hell no. I just told you I love my wife—still—never stopped.”
“So, what’s the end goal for you then?”
“Forever. I want us back.”
“Say that shit with your chest and pull some bass from your balls, nigga. Mean that shit and earn your wife back. You have to get your wife to fall back in love with you and convince her you’re a changed man.
No, fuck that, a better man for her now or you’ll be stuck in this life loving someone you won’t be with. ”
I snorted.
“You make it sound easy.”
“No, I make it sound like work worth putting in. I know you mentioned fake dates and appearances and shit, but make them real for you, and her. Show your lady you want her still, for real though. Fool, you act like you don’t know how to court a woman, damn.
Thank God all you do is catch balls because you wouldn’t make it in this world doing anything else.
” I laughed as he put his attention back on his plate of food.
“Nigga, fuck you.”
While he went back to eating, I leaned back, thinking about everything from the past to the present. It was weird because I heard Jimmy’s voice clear as day, as if he were sitting next to me.
Giving up on someone or something is a boy’s game. If you’re ready to lose your love, then don’t fight.
I snorted, shaking my head as I went back to the day I told him Hollis and I were getting a divorce.
He never actually said the word, but I could tell the disappointment he had for me over the years when I told him I gave her what she wanted at the end of the day.
My fight for our relationship ended when her trust for me disappeared.
Nigga, you didn’t help with that situation.
I groaned as I leaned back in my chair, stretching my arms behind my head until I heard something fall.
I sat up and looked down at the envelope with my name on it. I leaned up, picking it up.
“Okay, Jimmy, I’m listening,” I said to myself as I opened the letter.
Luke,
This letter is a long time coming. First, I want to tell you how proud I am of the man you are. After losing your dad, I got a second chance to be a father to you.
And just like then, I got a second chance to help you right your wrongs. To help put some fight back in you.
And before you say something stupid, I know attaching it to the house was a fucked up way to move, but when a man is desperate, he will do anything.
Plus I had to put it on something of true value for both of y’all.
Well, I hope it still matters to Hollis.
I haven’t forgotten how stubborn your wife is.
I paused reading, chuckling louder than necessary, gaining Shep’s raised brows in confusion.
I waved him off, getting back to Jimmy’s letter.
Don’t tell her I said that, I can’t have my Holls mad at me, I wouldn’t make it. Oh shit, never mind, you’re reading this, I didn’t.
“Too soon, old man,” I mumbled to myself.
Okay, back to business. Now I know you won’t admit to yourself, but the day you lost your wife is the same day something in you died. Yeah, you still had baseball, but not even that was the same for you. I watched the spark in your eyes leave right with her.
And I don’t want to hear no extra shit, it’s time to fight for someone you love.
At some point children must put away childish things.
Put your big ass pride to the side and get your wife back.
God makes no mistakes and the fact that you two are still married after all this time is your biggest second chance.
Show out for her this go round and be the man I know you can be, a man of your word.
This month, I want you to take the time to right your wrongs. A real conversation is needed and don’t skip that apology.
You’ve got me for a few more months, so I’ll be back.
Jimmy
I folded the letter, smirking at Jimmy working hard from the grave.
“Old man, let’s hope your plan works because I’m pretty sure she’s about to leave me tonight.”
And it was like he heard me because my next thought was loud and clear.
So don’t let her. When she moves, chase her down until you catch her.
Daniels, the starting pitcher, walking up broke me out of my head. I knew it was time for the bullpen session to help him get loose.
“You ready, Deacon?” he asked as soon as he approached.
“Yeah, let me slide this into my locker real quick.” I closed my lunch container, getting up to follow him out. While he kept going, I made a left for the locker room where I put my stuff away then grabbed my phone to text Hollis.
Me: Hershey, rules are rules and promises are promises. You owe me dates before you try and leave me again. I love you and I’ll see you tonight.
I turned my phone off and put it in my locker then grabbed my glove, further thinking about Hollis as I went to work.