Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
IS SHE WHY THE NEPO BABY WAS ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR? FOR A WHILE AT LEAST. BUT NOTHING LASTS FOREVER…
TRIPP
“Say that again,” I demanded.
Dared.
And hoped like fucking hell I’d misheard Greer.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she repeated, firmer that time.
“Is it this room? We can go to a different one. Or go home.”
“No, it’s not the room. It’s this. Us. It’s not working anymore.”
“What’s not working?” Even I could hear the desperation in my rushed question. I didn’t care if she knew how pathetic I was when it came to her. If there was something I could change to fix shit, I would.
I would do anything.
But she didn’t soften. Her expression and voice were both fucking blank, like she didn’t give a single, solitary fuck about what we had.
About me.
And she backed it up with her words. “All of it.”
Fucking hell, that didn’t hurt.
It killed.
“Siren—”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Talk to me. What’s going on inside your head right now?”
She lifted her chin. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s not.”
“It sure as shit is.”
“It’s not!” she shouted before inhaling deeply. “We knew what this was. Casual. No-strings. I understand if you don’t want me to continue working for you. It was probably a mistake to blur…”
The rest of her words were lost in the blood roaring in my ears.
It was a mistake.
A mistake.
Mistake.
I was a regret to my mother. My father. For every other woman who I didn’t give a shit about.
More than any-fucking-thing, I hadn’t wanted to be something—someone—Greer regretted.
“Did you even care about me?” I asked, cutting off whatever polite shit she was spewing. “Or am I just the bastard who was available to introduce you to all this? A distraction in a stressful time?”
“I… No… I mean, yes, of course, I care. But this was casual—”
“Christ, Greer, I know!” I shouted as I side-armed the flogger across the room.
It hit the wall hard, but she didn’t tear her gaze away to look.
“I fucking know, okay? I’m just a dumbass actor, but even I got the damn point after the hundredth time you reminded me that you weren’t looking for anything serious.
That I was free to sext whoever I wanted.
That you didn’t care about finding me in the bathroom with those women. ”
“Of course I cared! I care too much. Even when I didn’t want to. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”
I closed the distance between us, ignoring the way it cut to watch her retreat. Her back hit the wall, but I didn’t stop until my body was pressed to hers. I put my hands next to her shoulders, boxing her in. “Why shouldn’t you?”
“Because we—”
“Swear to God, if you say because we’re casual, I’m going to tie you to the bench and spank your ass raw with the cane.”
She pressed her lips tight before muttering, “But that’s the truth.”
“It’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Why shouldn’t you?”
“I already—”
“Why?”
“Because you’re you, and I’m just me. And I needed to remember that. Men like you don’t settle down.”
“Men like me? What kind of man am I exactly?”
She gave a humorless scoff. “You know what kind.”
I had a reputation. I’d even been proud of it before the emptiness of the hookups had left me stewing in self-hatred.
But to hear Greer all but call me a manwhore had my self-loathing rising to new levels. I’d never promised or even hinted at more with anyone but her, but that didn’t matter.
“I’m not going to say I’ve been celibate my whole life,” I said slowly, trying to keep the hurt from bleeding into my words. It worked. It didn’t bleed into them. It saturated them until it dripped in the air between us. “But I’m not some asshole who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”
Her brows lowered, and she shook her head. “I’m not… No. What I’m saying is you’re you. Tripp Carter. You can have any woman in the world. Men with those kinds of options don’t settle down. And if they do, it’s not long before they regret it when they see what they’re missing out on.”
Her words buzzed at the back of my head like a song I couldn’t place. Then I did. It was the same warped shit Clark had said at Christmas. “Am I being punished for my father’s sins or yours?”
“Neither. Both.” She scrunched her face and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, it’s the truth.”
“It’s not.”
“Yes, it is. You want me because I didn’t fall at your feet like every other woman. I was a challenge. If I gave in easily, you would’ve been bored in a week. I’ve been through this.”
“So now I’m being punished for my father, your father, and your shitty-ass ex who made you think your perfect pussy tasted gross and that your oral skills were bad when I can confirm, without a shadow of a damn doubt, that both are amazing enough that I’d sell my soul for more?”
Greer rocked back into the wall with a thunk but otherwise showed no reaction.
“I told you that I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you on that roof, even when I thought you were a figment of my damn imagination.”
“No, you wanted to fuck me since then. And you have, so now it’s done.”
It was my turn to rock back. “What?”
“That’s what you said before we had sex for the first time. That you’ve wanted it since the roof.”
“I meant you. Being with you. It was never just about the sex for me.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She tried to avert her gaze, but I moved a hand to grip her jaw and keep it in place. Keep her in place. “Let me go.”
“No. I’m never fucking letting you go.”
“You have to.”
“That’s not how this goes. You can tell me what to do with my schedule, but outside of that, I make the rules. You agreed.”
“I’m un-agreeing.”
“No.”
She let out a muffled growl. “You can’t say no.”
“I can, and I fucking did.”
“Why do you even care? Why are you bothering? Is it because I’m still a challenge? Fine. Whatever. I’m yours.”
“You’ve been mine since that damn roof.”
“Awesome. Now there’s no challenge. I’m no longer a prize to win and get bored with after a few hours. You’ll come to the same realization that everyone else has. You’re out of my league, I’m boring as hell, and I’m too ugly to be with you.”
I thought my heart broke when Greer said we were a mistake, but it was pulverized hearing her talk about herself like that. “Baby—”
“Don’t. Please, Tripp, don’t.”
“Who am I?”
“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” she whispered, her voice cracking.
I let it drop—for then—to focus on the more important part. “Who the fuck said any of that to you?”
“It doesn’t matter. You agree with it.”
She’d said a lot that hurt or pissed me off—or both—but that took the poison cake.
“The fuck I do,” I bit out.
She kept talking like I hadn’t. “I knew it was coming. That your attraction to me was fading. I just wanted one last time with you before everything ended, but I couldn’t. I can’t. So let me go. Please.”
“Why the fuck would you think anything so asinine and wrong?”
Greer raised her hand to gesture to her face. “You told me to wear more makeup because you know I’m not pretty enough to be with you. You’re embarrassed.”
“No, I wanted you to wear more makeup so when I hurt you, it streamed down your face with your tears.”
“That’s not any bett—”
“And then I was going to use that mess to prove to you how much you trust me. How I’m the only one you let see you as anything less than perfect.
How much that means to me because I am so outta my goddamn head in love with you, I can’t keep letting you put up these walls between us.
And I sure as shit can’t keep hearing you tell me that we’re casual.
It fucking kills me every time, like you could walk away without a backward glance.
I thought I knew loneliness, but it was nothing—fucking nothing—compared to having everything I ever wanted so close, but always out of reach. ”
“You love me?” Her eyes were so big with so much green in the golden brown, I fell a little harder.
“Been half in love with you since the first time you rolled those pretty eyes at me. Fully in love since you trusted me enough to give me your submission.” I ducked down closer so my face was right in hers. “But you want to know what really sent me over the edge?”
The one word was barely above a whisper. “What?”
“Watching you handle that three-hole punch. Sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’ve ever been so damn hard.”
She made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh, a scoff, and a sob. “You’re sick.”
“For you? Fuck yeah.” I stroked her hair back. “Who said that shit to you?”
She swallowed hard. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m not giving you a choice.”
Despite the firm bite in my voice, she kept her mouth closed tightly as she stared defiantly up at me.
What she didn’t do was ask to leave or try to move.
I wouldn’t have let her if she had, but I still took that win.
And I pushed it.
I was done playing it safe with her. I’d tried that. I’d been cautious about coming on too strong so I didn’t scare her away, and she’d tried to end things anyway.
I wasn’t holding back.
Moving quickly, I dipped to put my shoulder to her lower belly before standing with her slung over my body.
She let out a startled scream. “Put me down.”
“No.”
“Tripp—”
I smacked her ass before leaving my hand there to hold her in place. I was about to open the door before I backtracked across the room. I wished like hell I could see her expression as I neared the swing. I wanted to know if she looked panicked, or if her pupils were blown with desire.
I wasn’t putting her there, though. I went to the far side of the room and tightened my hold on her as I dipped to grab the leather flogger. And then I walked from the room.
“Put me down,” she hissed. “My skirt is riding up.”
“My hand is covering you. You know I’d never let anyone see what’s mine.”
I moved a few doors down to the room I wanted, reaching it just as Cohen did, a throuple trailing behind him. I didn’t say shit.
Cutting them off, I walked right in.
“It looks like there was a glitch with the booking system,” Cohen lied as he shot me a glare before smiling at the people. “Sorry about that. Let me show—”
I closed the door, knowing I would owe him later.
Bypassing the wall and table restraints in the bondage room, I set Greer on the bed. She didn’t scramble away. She didn’t scream at me.
Another win I was going to push.
“On your knees, chest down with your ass up,” I ordered.
Her gaze darted to the wall and the other surfaces that all had the thick cuff restraints she liked so much. The surfaces that took the choice from her.
That wasn’t what we were doing.
She needed to give up control of her body and emotions willingly.
“Do I need to repeat myself?” I asked.
At the edge in my voice, she hurriedly rolled to position herself how I said.
“Panties down.”
She reached back to slide the soaked cotton down, the fabric sticking to her perfect little pussy like it didn’t want to be away from her.
I could relate.
When she started to shift to continue removing them, I lightly thwacked her ass with the flogger. “Right there is good.”
The material was pulled taut at her knees, exposing everything.
“What do you say?” I asked.
“Stop.”
“Do you want to say it now?”
She hesitated for half a second that ticked by like long minutes. “No, Sir.”
“Keep your arms stretched in front of you.” That was the only warning I gave before I brought the leather down to crack across her soft flesh.
Again.
And again.
She stifled her reaction at first, releasing the pain as soft curses and threats. They grew into screams that were mixed with moans, but she was still holding back even as she rocked her body.
Not away from the pain.
She moved toward it.
Seeking it out.
I aimed between her thighs, hitting her swollen pussy. It instantly reddened with the stinging force, giving me the perfect target to strike again.
That did it.
With the dam broken, there was nothing restrained about the guttural way she cried out. Thick sobs tore from her chest—from her soul—like they’d been anchored there for far too long. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks, spreading her heavy makeup.
I liked it.
I wanted more of it.
But not before she told me the truth for once.
“Who said that bullshit about me being out of your league?” I asked.
“The internet,” she forced out through her tears.
“What?”
“There are videos of us at the event last night.”
I figured there would be, and that was the only reason I’d been able to stop myself from touching her. It must not have been enough.
That explains why Tony and my publicist’s office called earlier. Calls from both of them the same day means a lot of hype.
Shit.
She confirmed my suspicion. “We’re all over the internet. People found me. They… They… They…”
She couldn’t get the words out, but they were unnecessary. I could guess what she must’ve read because I knew how vicious people could be behind the safety of their keyboards.
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry. You can’t look at comments. None of that shit they spew is true. None of it.”
“But you are out of my league.”
“The fuck I am. Do you have any idea how perfect you are? Or how often I thank the universe that you deemed me worthy of you, even if you mistakenly thought it was temporary?”
“That’s not true.”
I didn’t know if she was saying my statements weren’t or if she was calling me a liar. Either way, she was wrong.
I brought the flogger down on the sensitive skin where her ass met her thigh. It would ache whether she was sitting or standing. “It is. I’ll put out a statement telling people they’re fucking weird because they are. If that’s not enough, I’ll walk away.”
She lifted her head so I could see pain slash across her face, and I realized how she’d taken it.
“Not from you,” I reassured. “Never from you. From movies. From Hollywood.”
Her body tensed. “But you love what you do.”
“I love you more.”
“No, it… I… It’s too late.”
“It’s not. If you don’t want us to go public, I’ll wait until you’re ready. But if you have a problem with us together, you need to get over it.”
“No, you don’t understand.” She started to shift before freezing.
“You can move.”
She rolled to sit. More tears spilled down her cheeks, and I was pretty sure they weren’t all from the pain of her whipped ass. “Josh… And my dad…” Her pretty face crumbled. “And my mom. My poor mom.”
I had no damn clue what she was talking about. I crouched down so we were eye level. “Start at the beginning.”