Chapter 22
“Sulking doesn’t become you,” Harper says about five minutes later.
“I’m not sulking.” But that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’ve been sitting in this chair since I came back inside.
“Sure you’re not.”
I feel a tug at my sub-conscious, and then a voice fills my mind. Good. You’re awake.
Instantly, the ache in my chest eases. I am.
I can’t feel any pain from you. I take it the human was able to help with the pain.
Yes, I can’t feel a thing.
Good. You were in quite a lot of pain.
I don’t comment on that, not wanting to remember the pain. Where are you?
Jespar and I are out hunting, but I’m not so far as to not be available if you need me.
A warm feeling fills my chest. I’m good. Thank you.
Why are you sad?
I pause a moment, wondering what to say. I’m fine.
It’s a human thing then?
I smile in spite of myself. Yeah. I guess so.
I will return in a little while.
Take your time; I’m fine.
She says nothing more, but I feel much better after connecting with her. “How’s the jag?” Harper asks. I look over at her in surprise. “It’s the eyes,” she says, motioning to my face. “Your face does this thing, and your eyes glaze over.”
I frown. “That sounds terrible.”
“Farrah’s worse; she looks constipated when she does it.”
I can’t help my laugh. “Did you tell her that?”
She gives me a look. “Of course I did; but she still does it.”
“I’ll have to watch for it next time...” My words trail off, and that feeling fills me once again.
Harper, who never misses a thing, sits down in the chair across from me. “You don’t have to stay here, you know.”
“I gave my word that I’d come,” I remind her.
“And you did.” She shrugs. “You kept your word and came. If you don’t want to stay, you don’t have to.” She meets my eyes directly. “No matter what anybody says.”
“Thanks, Harper.” I study her a moment.
“What?” she asks with a scowl. “Why are you staring at me?”
I let her snippiness roll right off me. “You’re a really good friend, Harper.” Her scowl deepens, but I don’t let it deter me. “I know I don’t say it enough—”
“You don’t need to say it at all,” she interrupts.
“But I really appreciate your friendship,” I continue as if she’d never interrupted. “And it means the world that you came here with me. If at any time you don’t want to stay—”
“Kins, stop. I’m not leaving you here by yourself.”
Something like relief fills me, even as guilt floods me. “But you have a life too, Harper—”
She snorts. “Right. Back with the disgustingly in love couple we just left, or with the banished that are trying to find their way now in the kingdom?”
“You could find a place to live and—”
“Leave it. I made my choice when I came here with you. Don’t make me regret it.” With that, she gets up out of her chair and walks over to one of the open windows.
I don’t let her abruptness bother me. It’s just how she is, and yet, I feel her friendship and love now more than ever.
Gratitude swells in my heart; I’m so glad she’s here with me.
But that sad feeling that’s been plaguing me surrounds me now.
The ache in my chest that eased when I talked with Veyra suddenly comes back, and it hurts so much I rub at it.
It’s almost like a physical pain, but at the same time, I feel so sad, it feels like my heart is breaking. I don’t know why it’s like this.
“Kins, what’s wrong?” Harper drops to her knees in front of me and eyes me warily. “Are you having a heart attack?” A tear drips down my cheek, and she flinches back in revulsion. “You’re crying?” I want to make a joke, but it hurts too bad. I feel this intense sadness, and it hurts to breathe.
I’m coming.
You don’t have to come, I tell Veyra. She doesn’t respond, and I have a feeling she’s still coming.
I stand up and try to focus on anything but the pain in my chest, but it’s all-consuming.
It intensifies, and it feels like I’m going to throw up.
I pace the room and try to take deep breaths.
Harper leans against the wall, eyeing me warily; but she leaves me alone.
I’m here.
My eyes tear up at the sight of her, and I slide to the ground against the wall. She comes and lays on the floor next to me, her body pushed up against mine. You didn’t have to come, I tell her even as I run my hand through her fur.
Yes, I did.
The ache in my chest is still there, but it’s not as intense. It at least feels like I can breathe again. I lean my head against the wall and keep my hand on her back. How are you feeling?
Strong and healthy.
I smile, despite myself. Good. And the pups?
Everything is as expected.
Good. I don’t say anything more; I feel depleted. My arm starts to hurt again, but I feel like that’s the least of my worries. This bone-deep ache and sadness seems to be taking the front seat. Where’s Jespar?
He’s with his bonded. She doesn’t say anything after that, and I don’t either. I’m just content to sit next to her.
“Do you think they eat in this kingdom?” Harper asks suddenly.
“I’m sure they eat,” I respond but don’t get up. “Did you check the kitchen?”
“Yeah, it’s like empty. There’s literally no food in there.”
I frown and stand up, wincing when the pain in my arm flares again. I walk over to the cooking area and take a look. Harper’s right; there’s no food in sight. “Maybe they hunt for everything and eat fresh meat?” I suggest.
“Maybe,” Harper says skeptically.
“Knock, knock.”
We both turn at the sound of the voice. “It’s just me,” Maelin says as she comes in through the open door. “I brought food.”
“Oh good. We were just deciding which of us to kill first, so we could eat.”
“Harper!” I shake my head at her antics.
Thankfully, Maelin doesn’t seem to scare easily. “Funny. Anyway, I brought food. Heaven knows if you’re living with my cousin; you won’t eat.”
I frown. “He ate with me in the Rites.”
“Oh, he will eat,” she says with a wave of her hand.
“But not until he’s absolutely starving.
I’ve been nagging him for years, but he just doesn’t eat.
He always says he’s too busy. Like, how are you going to survive if you can’t even eat food, am I right?
But what do you do? That’s just how he is, and goodness knows I’m not going to change him.
But maybe you can,” she says brightly as her eyes fall on me.
“You think I can get Kaldar to change?” I question.
“Oh, no. I don’t think anybody can do that. I just meant maybe you can get him to at least eat. I bet you can get my cousin to loosen up in a lot of areas. Just a few nights with him—”
“When is he coming back?” I interrupt, not wanting to hear where in the world she was going with that. It was going to make it awkward for all of us.
“I’m not sure. He should have been back by now.
The assembly ended about an hour ago, but his advisors probably demanded his time.
They’re always wanting his time, always unhappy about one thing or another that my cousin’s doing wrong.
But what do you get when you have advisors as old as they are?
” She looks at me, and I shrug. “You get a lot of attitude problems, anger, and stupid ideas.” I don’t really know what to say to that, so I stay quiet.
“Look at me running my mouth. Just ignore all that.” She puts her hand on my arm, and I can’t help my flinch.
She jerks back. “I’m so sorry. Is that your bad arm? Is it hurting again?”
“It’s okay,” I say, once I catch my breath.
“I’ll get Sryena to come back and give you more of the salve. I’m so sorry you’re in pain. Let me go get her now, and I’ll be back soon.”
“It’s okay; I can wait,” I tell her.
“There’s no need to wait. I’ll go get her now.”
She’s gone as fast as she came, and I’m left wondering how in the world she has so much energy. “Well, it smells good. Should we eat it?” Harper asks.
“I don’t know; maybe we should wait for...never mind. Is it good?”
Harper nods and takes another bite. “Some kind of stewed fish, I think. Do you want to try some?”
I find a bowl in the same place Harper found one and put a little in my bowl.
I’m not really hungry, but I feel like if I don’t eat, everybody’s going to give me a hard time.
I take a few bites. It’s actually pretty good, but I don’t have an appetite.
I’m glad I tried some, though, when Maelin shows back up at the door.
“We’re coming in,” she calls out. A second later, Maelin and a woman with long white hair stand inside Kaldar’s home. “Kinsley, this is Sryena.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
Sryena waves me off. “I already met you, Child, when I tended to your arm. Maelin told me the pain is starting to come back.” I don’t even get a chance to nod before she points at the chair.
“Sit.” I do as she asks and put my arm out.
“This particular salve acts as a freezing ointment; it dulls the pain by inhibiting the receptors in your arm. It’s actually still burning, but you don’t feel it as much or at all when it’s applied because your pain receptors have been dulled.
” Her words make the pain feel like it intensifies, like I can see and feel my arm burning.
I try to focus on anything else as she rubs the salve into my arm.
“This might hurt,” she warns right before she begins to rub the salve into my arm with firmness in her touch.
I bite my tongue, so I don’t cry out. When she releases my arm, I pull it back and shake it out.
“Does it hurt?” Maelin asks in concern.
“It will be okay,” I say at the same time Sryena says, “Yes.”
Sryena looks at Maelin like she’s daft. “It’s guivre fire, Child. Of course it hurts.”
Maelin doesn’t lose her smile, even though it’s filled with compassion. “How long does it take before she won’t feel pain?”
“The pain should ease rather quickly,” Sryena says.
She rolls up the salve in some sort of special parchment and then places it into a leather pouch.
“I will leave this with you. Use it when the pain begins again. You probably won’t be able to rub it in deeply like it needs to be because of the pain. Have your mate do it for you.”
Her casual drop of the word mate startles me, but I do my best to nod accordingly. “Okay. Thank you so much.”
“I’m not doing it for you.” She walks away from me and out the front door before I can say a word.