Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Time passes, but I'm lost to it. I don't know if it's been minutes or hours since I asked to be alone, just that my entire body is shaking, the pressure inside my skull is pounding the more I cry, and my chest is so tight, I can barely force air through my lungs to keep from passing out.
Tharuzel is loose in the world because I failed.
The thirteen lockstone chambers are exposed because I failed.
I signed a blood contract to keep my sisters safe, and I failed at that, too.
Not that any of that will matter soon. Tharuzel has the locations of the thirteen lockstones, and I have no doubt he's out there on a mission to bring them all down.
What have I done?
The knowledge of every single location was pressed into my ancestry like rings in old wood.
I didn't know I carried it, and couldn't stop him from taking it.
He told me he'd won the moment I signed the contract, and he was right.
I accepted the blood bond because I didn't see any other choice and thought I could manage it.
I thought I was being strategic.
I thought I was protecting people.
I pull my legs tighter into my chest and still feel like I've been shoved off the edge of a cliff and am in freefall toward Hell.
Energy tingles over my skin and the room shifts.
It's nothing dramatic or alarming. One moment I'm lying on a recovery bed in the Arcana Academy infirmary with the smell of antiseptic and healing herbs filling the air, and the next, I'm lying on a lumpy green couch with the smells of lavender, cinnamon, and old wood enveloping me.
I sit up and adjust the crocheted throw.
I'm on Birdie's sofa… the one with the permanent dent on the left cushion where she always sits. It's draped in approximately seven blankets of clashing colors and lined with small, embroidered pillows shaped like cats.
Wind chimes hang in the window above the radiator, and three shelves of troll dolls line the far wall, their absurd hot pink, lime, and fluorescent orange hair backlit by the warm glow of the lava lamp in the corner.
I look around slowly.
The kitchen doorway with its beaded curtain. The pile of half-finished knitting projects on the coffee table. The collection of garden gnomes on the windowsill, all of them facing inward as though watching the room. The smell of something sweet on the stove.
Every inch of this is exactly as I remember.
I spent five years in this apartment building and visited Birdie's home often. Asher and I ate Birdie's terrible shortbread and watched her argue with her houseplants, and I fell asleep on this sofa when my own apartment felt too quiet.
I had no idea she was the Goddess Mother. It's still hard to make sense of at times.
Birdie is sitting in her chair by the window, knitting needles moving, wearing a violently orange cardigan over a floral skirt that belongs to no recognizable era. Her silver hair is pinned up with what appears to be a pencil and a dried sprig of rosemary.
"Am I really here?"
"Does it feel real?"
The texture of the crocheted blanket beneath my fingers. The specific way this room smells. The faint tick of the clock on the bookshelf.
"Yes."
"Then pull yourself together." She doesn't look up from her knitting. "You've been in quite a state, and it's not doing anyone any favors."
I fold the throw and set it neatly over the arm of the couch. "I think I deserve a bit of a meltdown. I was possessed by a demon and inadvertently handed Tharuzel everything he needs to release his master and end humanity as we know it."
She loops her threat around the top of the needles and knits as if my entire life isn't detonating around me. "And?"
"And what? Isn't that enough?"
Birdie finally looks up. Her eyes are warm and endlessly old, and she tilts her head at me the way she always did when she thought I was being thick.
"Things move the way they are meant to move, Petal. You know that."
I drop my head back and stare at the ceiling. "Don't tell me that. I don't believe that. What's the point if I was destined to fail from the start?"
"I said it was meant to happen, not that you're destined to fail.
Those are not the same things." She sets the knitting in her lap and gives me a patient smile.
"You were marked before you drew your first breath.
You didn't choose that. But you chose the blood bond because you were trying to keep your sisters breathing.
You chose to walk into that cave because you were trying to repair what was broken.
You chose, every single time, to move toward the problem instead of away from it. Those weren't mistakes. That was you."
I look at the troll dolls, their cheerful, ridiculous faces, and feel something in my chest that is very close to a laugh and very close to tears. "But my choices have made things worse. Tharuzel knows where all thirteen lockstones are."
"And now so do you."
Before I have a chance to consider what she means by that, she stands and heads over to her shelves. She picks up Trolliver Queen and pulls up his wild, slime green hair. "Everything is about energy, Poppy. You know that."
"Yes, energy and intention, I know."
"Did you intend for any of this Tharuzel mess to happen?"
"No, of course not."
She hands me the plastic doll, and I look at his insanely goofy grin. "And what are your intentions now?"
I shrug. "I don't know. I guess… I need to regroup."
"What do you do about the broken stones?"
I take a steadying breath. "We're working with a stone witch to fix them."
"And the ritual to restore them?"
"We'll have to gather enough spirit witches to learn the ritual Khylie's family preserved."
"And the lockstones not broken?"
I swallow as the path starts to take form in my mind. "We could shield them before Tharuzel gets to them. Asher's energy seemed to stop him, or at least cause him trouble. He'll beat us to some, but he won't be able to get to all of them before us."
"And the demon itself?"
"We're close. Mica thinks my blood is the key. She thinks Tharuzel marking my bloodline and creating the blood bond makes it so she can focus the weapon's purpose and tailor it directly to him."
Birdie arches a silver brow. "Almost as if it were meant to happen that way."
My mind stalls out on that, and I close my eyes. I release a long breath that had set up shop in my chest and then nod. "Almost as if it were meant to happen."
Birdie grins. "All right, then. Off you go. Worlds to save and demons to vanquish, and all that. Take Trolliver Queen. He'll bring you good luck."
I hug Birdie and kiss her cheek. "Thank you."
"Oh, don't thank me, Petal. You got there all on your own. You just needed a little distance from the problem."
When I open my eyes and find myself blinking at the ceiling of the Arcana infirmary, a rush of adrenaline hits. I can do this. I was literally born to do this. I stare up at the soft amber light filtering through the high, narrow windows and lie still for one breath.
The heaviness that threatened to crush me before is gone. I sit up and hold up the troll doll. "Birdie is one smart lady."
Because at some point between the troll dolls and the wind chimes and the click of her knitting needles, I found my center again.
And now that I'm back…
I swing my legs off the bed and spot my clothes stacked on the dresser. Jeans, my soft gray pullover, my boots lined up beneath. Someone, probably Asher, folded everything perfectly.
I grab the pile and cross to the washroom.
I splash water on my face, finger-comb through my blue hair until it stops fighting me, clean my teeth, and pull on my clothes. I look at myself in the small mirror above the sink, just long enough to confirm I resemble a functional person, and then I'm out the door.
I hear them before I see them.
There's a little family area at the end of the hall, and Asher is there, trying to cheer up my younger sisters. Wylder is there, too, but he's lost in his thoughts and looking broody and worried.
Violet chuckles mildly at something Asher says, but it’s half-hearted at best. Lily is cross-legged on the widest chair with her sketchbook open across her knees.
Wylder sees me first. He stands, reading my face. "Hey."
"Hey back." I stop in front of them, pulling on my jacket. "What's everyone doing moping out here? We've got work to do."
Asher blinks. "We do?"
I wink at him. "Damn skippy. Wylder, you go with my sisters and get them packed.
The Hallowind sisters are leaving this pocket world.
Grab a couple of conduits from Briar before we go, because I gave my word to the Guardian that once my sisters left, we would never come back.
" I shift my gaze to Asher. "You're with me. "
"And what are we up to?"
"We're going to the forge building to speak with Mica. I've got an idea about how to make our weapons stronger."
The room is quiet for half a second.
Lily is on her feet, grabbing her pencils and shoving them into her backpack. "You mean it? We're done here?"
"I mean it. We played by everyone else's rules, and we've done what we've needed to in order to survive, but it's time we reclaim our lives. Go get your stuff and say your goodbyes. Asher and I will wait for you at the forge building."
She doesn't wait for a second telling. She spins and grabs Violet's wrist, and they head down the corridor together. Violet says something about needing to say goodbye to the other rescued witches, but Lily tells her they don't have time to be precious about it.
Wylder lingers a moment and brings his hand up to press to my cheek. His green eyes ask everything without him saying a word.
"Yeah, I'm good," I tell him. "And I'll be even better once we're all home."
He gives me a quick kiss. "We'll meet you at the forge castle."
When it's just me and Asher, I hold out my hand. "If you will, kind sir."
He takes my hand, and we're gone.
The air outside the forge building is cool and smells like pine. I raise my fist and rap my knuckles on the door.
A moment later, the door swings open and Mica stares at me. She grabs me before I can speak and hugs me hard enough to rearrange my spine. "Holy shit, are you all right? Izzy texted me what happened. What an absolute disaster."
I squeeze her back. "Yeah, it was a giant clusterfuck, but I'm fine. Well, I'm upright and functional, and that's as close to fine as I get these days."
She pulls back and looks me over, steel-gray eyes moving from my face to my hands and back again, assessing.
I wave her off. "I'm good. Actually, I just had a little pep talk with Birdie and I've got an idea."
Asher brightens. "Birdie? Was she at the infirmary?"
"No, she brought me to her apartment and gave me this little guy for good luck."
I pull out the troll doll, and Asher lights up. "Trolliver Queen. Damn, it's good to see you, buddy."
Mica doesn't seem to know what to make of us, so I put her out of her misery.
"I'm here to donate more blood." I step past her into the building, Asher on my heels.
"I've got twice as much power now. I don't know what it is or how to use it yet, but that's beside the point. We're donating Asher's blood too."
Asher blinks. "We are?"
"We are. It hit me while I was chatting with Birdie, my blood connects me to Tharuzel, which makes it useful for locking onto him. But Asher's magic is the opposite of everything Tharuzel is and stands for."
I look at him properly. "He couldn't get through your shield.
I don't think that was just because of your awesome power.
It was what you are. Your intention. You are goodness and light, Ash.
Compassion and love, in one extremely chaotic package.
I think imbuing your blood and your essence into the weapons will be like poison to Tharuzel and his demons. "
Asher stares at me, and his grin breaks wide and entirely unbothered. "I'm demon kryptonite."
Mica is already moving. She beckons us toward the back of the building with two fingers, and I follow, stepping through the archway that leads toward the forge room.
I stop.
The Concordance Mirror stands against the wall of the front room where we hung it, and I catch my reflection as I pass.
I take a step back.
My reflection steps back with me. Not a half-second behind, not lagging in that unsettling, untethered way that made my stomach drop every time before. It moves when I move, stops when I stop, blinks when I blink.
Perfectly in sync.
I lift my hand and wave at myself, slow and deliberate. My reflection waves back, bright-eyed and blue-haired, everything exactly where it should be.
"Well, would you look at that?" Asher stands behind me and rests his chin on the top of my head. "Yay, you."
Something warm and quiet opens in my chest.
I meet his gaze in the reflection and smile. "It's like everything happens as it's meant to."