Chapter 20
By some miracle, I don’t leave my room that night and fight with Rauk like I want to.
It takes me quite a while to finally fall asleep, and that was only after I did as much as I could do in my room to tire myself out.
I don’t think about Rauk as I fall asleep, but I do wonder if Auri was able to find a place to sleep.
I sigh and punch my pillow. I’m sure her bed will be another thing Rauk will want to address.
The next morning, I’m up early. I get dressed quickly, thankful I took a bath last night.
I make my way to the kitchen. I’m hoping to be able to speak to Elowen before Rauk gets there.
Hopefully, he’ll be tired from wherever he’s been and sleep in.
I step into the kitchen and scan the cooking area, looking for her.
I nearly jump out of my skin when Rauk’s voice comes from behind me. “Looking for somebody?”
I whirl around. “What are you doing here?” I regret my question immediately.
“I live here.”
I huff. “You haven’t lately.” I cross my arms over my chest. I wasn’t ready to do this yet, but I’m definitely not walking away now.
If he wants a fight, a fight he’s going to get.
I’ve never backed down from a challenge, and I’m not about to start now.
I’ve waited for him to return for three weeks!
For three weeks, I’ve been stuck in this castle.
The time with Elowen and Auri has been good, but not a day goes by that I don’t forget why I’m here and what’s happening while I’m gone.
Before I can say anything, the door to the kitchen opens.
Elowen walks in, takes one look at the two of us and turns right back around.
“Elowen,” I call out, stopping her.
She turns around and pats my hand. “Sorry. I love you, but no.” She disappears, leaving us in silence.
“She loves you?”
I turn around at his words. “Is that such a surprise?” I ask without any emotion. Those dark eyes study me, and I resist the urge to fidget. I’ve never been one to fidget under pressure; I don’t know why I am now.
“A little, yes.” I narrow my eyes at him. He sits in one of the chairs at the table and crosses his arms over his chest. “We have some time before my sister gets up. Why don’t we talk?”
“Talk?” I stare at him. “Talk?!”
He stares right back. “Yes, you know that thing where one person says something and then the other person says something?”
“Wow, thanks for explaining that,” I tell him in a dry tone.
“Would you just sit down so we can talk?”
I put a hand to my chest dramatically. “Well, when you put it so nicely...”
His scowl deepens. “You are impossible.”
I grin at that. “Thank you.”
He takes a deep breath. “Why did you take my sister outside, and why the—” he pauses a moment. “And why are you training her with weapons?”
I eye him a moment and then finally stalk over to the table, pull out a chair and sit. I cross my arms over my chest, mimicking his position. “I take her outside because she needs a life. Sitting in her room all day, every day, is not a life.” I look him dead in the eye, challenging him to argue.
“She’s not supposed to go outside,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Oh, I know,” I return. “We wouldn’t want to risk your precious ego by letting your kingdom know you have a sister that can’t walk.” Anger burns through me at the words, but I force them out anyway.
His eyes go cold. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” I challenge. I meet his stare before continuing. “I only took her out back, so you can get off your high horse.”
Those cold eyes meet mine, and he leans forward.
“I don’t know who you think you are, but I am the king here in this land.
But more than that, I am the head of this household; and I am my sister’s keeper.
Do not take her outside again.” His words are slow and drawn out, as if I don’t understand him.
I don’t bat an eye. “No.”
“No, what?”
I shrug. “No. I’m not going to follow your orders.
Your sister needs to go outside. She needs to learn to handle weapons.
I’m not going to sit idly by and let you destroy her life and take her hope away.
” I lean forward and brace my arms on the table.
“She is just starting to show signs of life; you will not take that away from her.” I shove my chair back and stand to my feet and stride towards the door.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
His gritty voice catches me right before I leave the kitchen.
I turn back. “No, you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Talk to your sister. See what she wants maybe, before you continue to destroy her life.
” I push through the door, leaving him behind.
I'm so frustrated, I head right for the front door. I hit the button and step outside the moment the door opens. I jog down the steps, throwing all caution to the wind and hoping I don’t slip and fall.
I hit the ground in a jog. It doesn’t matter that there’s snow and ice everywhere; it doesn’t matter that I’m not dressed nearly warm enough to be out here.
All that matters is that I need away from that place.
..away from him. I force myself to just move, not think.
You okay?
Redara’s voice in my head doesn’t really surprise me. I know she can feel my anger. How much of that did you catch?
All of it. I continue running, weaving around the people that are out and about.
People stare at me as they have every other time, but I ignore them.
I think back through everything that was said this morning, and frustration and anger burn through me once again.
Thankfully, Redara lets me be; but I can tell she’s keeping the link between us open.
I run until I can’t run anymore. Only then, do I slow down and walk.
I don’t have a clue where I’m at. I haven’t been this far from the castle yet, well except for when I was on Redara’s back.
But that was different as we just flew over everything.
I take in where I am now. There aren’t as many houses; there are more trees here.
It’s beautiful and almost magical. The trees sparkle in the sunlight with their ice and snow.
No matter where I look, all I see is white.
I drop my hands to my hips and take it all in.
I let the peace of this moment settle around me.
I lift my gaze to the sky and take in the spirit dragons soaring through the clouds.
I watch them for a few minutes, totally transfixed.
Their bright colors will never cease to amaze me.
Currently, there’s a bright yellow one, an orange one, purple, pink, an aqua, and two different shades of blue.
I’m not sure how long I stand in that spot, but it’s long enough that the cold starts to seep in.
I become acutely aware of the fact I am not dressed for this weather, and I start back towards the castle.
Even as cold as I am, I don’t regret coming out here; I don’t regret my run.
I needed it. I feel better. My problems still exist—mainly Rauk—but I feel better equipped to handle them.
My mind feels clearer. After a while, I come back to what I’m now understanding is the center of town.
More people stare now, but I ignore them.
Surprisingly, a person here or there will wave at me.
I wave back and try not to look too shocked.
A shiver works through me, and I blow into my hands, trying to warm them.
By the time I get back to the castle, I feel like I’m frozen solid. I make my way up the steps on wooden legs. The door opens only seconds after I knock. “Oh, Harper, come in.” Elowen holds out my fur to me. “Wrap this around you. Why would you go out without any protection from the cold?”
I don’t answer her; my teeth are chattering too much.
She continues to hold the door open. I’m about to ask why when Rauk steps inside.
His dark eyes meet mine for just a moment before he turns away and starts towards the door that leads to the wing where his and Auri’s rooms are.
I watch him go for a moment, wondering why he was outside.
“Here, drink this.” Elowen places a steaming mug of tea in my hands, and I gratefully take a sip.
The liquid warms me from the inside out, and so does the fire I sit in front of a few minutes later.
Elowen hovers for a little bit until I convince her I’m fine.
She finally retreats to the kitchen, leaving me in silence.
I look over at the door Rauk disappeared behind and ponder my next steps.
I finally stand to my feet. No matter my differences with Rauk, Auri is still my friend.
I'm not going to ignore her or make her go back to staying in her room every day.
I take a deep breath, ready to battle her older brother if need be.
Thankfully, my run helped ease that edge of anger.
Now, I just feel resigned. I head to the kitchen first and drop off my mug.
“Thank you,” I tell Elowen.
“You’re welcome.” She doesn’t say anything else, and neither do I.
I don’t want to make her life more difficult.
She works for Rauk, and I get that. I make my way towards the other end of the castle.
I push the button for the locks and wait for them to disengage and the door to open.
I step into the hallway and make my way towards Auri’s room.
When I pass Rauk’s room, his door is closed; and I assume he’s in there.
I breathe a sigh of relief that I won’t have to run into him yet.
But I’m wrong. When I knock on the door and open it carefully, I don’t get very far before I realize that Rauk is not in his room. Nope. He’s in here...with Auri.
“Can I fix it now?”
Auri’s eyes dart over to mine, and I have no doubts about what they’re talking about.
She seems to be looking to me, though, so I give her a small nod.
I want to smile at her, but I don’t feel capable.
She looks back at her brother. “Yes.” Her voice is quiet and reserved, much like it was when I first met her; and my heart aches.
Rauk doesn’t look over at me, but I know the question is for me anyway. “What were you trying to do?”
I don’t hesitate to answer. “Lower her bed so she could get in and out more easily.”
I watch as he bends and looks at the two legs on this side of the bed before walking over to the other side.
He disappears for a moment. There’s the sound the axe hitting its mark, and then the entire bed drops.
I stare at the bed and then him as he stands.
He got it in one go? One swing of the axe?
Auri’s eyes meet mine, and I see the same shock mirrored there.
Then, the corner of her lip twitches. It’s just for a second, but I saw it.
And just like that, I know I’m not giving up on this girl.
I will fight her brother every single moment of every day if I have to, to give this girl a life.
..a full life. I want to see her smile, experience life, laugh out loud.
And if somebody has to fight for her, it might as well be me.
I’m a fighter; it’s who I am. And Rauk’s going to find out just how much of a fighter I really am.