Chapter 37
She swallows. “Thank you.”
“How hard was it for you to say that?” I ask.
“I hate you,” she mutters in response.
“The feeling’s mutual.” But there’s no heat in either of our words.
“I’m going to see what else I can do to help,” she says, standing to her feet. I copy her but sway a moment. She puts a hand on my elbow, barely. “You’re not going to pass out, right?”
“Nope.” I pull my elbow from her grasp. “I’m good.”
She nods. “Good. Later.”
“Later,” I call out after her. It takes a lot longer than I thought it would to get the net off Redara. By the time they get it off, it’s late in the afternoon. As soon as it’s off, I walk over to Redara and touch her leg. You're free.
I’m free.
Noxlyn snorts, and I move out of the way so he can get close to her. Kaldar approaches us. “It will be getting dark soon. Do you want to stay with us tonight?”
I shake my head. “Thank you, but no.”
He eyes me in obvious concern. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. His sister is back at Farrah and Rysden’s, and we need to get back to her.”
He frowns. “His sister?” I hesitate, and he notices and moves on. “Okay. Kinsley will be sad she missed you.”
Sadness fills me a moment, but I push it away. “Tell her I miss her and to take care of herself. Oh, and tell her I said congratulations.” A smile forms on Kaldar’s face, and I can feel an answering smile on my own. “I’m really happy for you guys.”
“Thank you, Harper. I’ll tell her. Are you sure you can’t stay? I know she’d love to see you.”
I close any and all emotion his words bring on.
“No, but tell her I’ll try to see her soon.
” I turn away from him, not feeling in control at the moment.
I blame it on the pain. The pain is making me feel all kinds of things I really don’t want to feel.
I’m surprised to see Rauk right behind me.
“What’s the plan for getting home?” I ask, ready to get going.
“Noxlyn will fly you and me back; Redara will follow.”
Can you fly? I send to her.
Well, I'm not staying here, she returns.
I face Rauk. "All right. I'm really not looking forward to riding Noxlyn, especially with you, but I’m not going to make Red carry me when she may barely be able to carry herself.”
Rauk studies me a moment. “Do you always say exactly what you’re thinking?”
I don’t skip a beat. “Pretty much.”
“Hmmm.” He surprises me by looking over at Kaldar. “I kept her hidden.” I know exactly what he’s talking about, and I stay out of the conversation.
“Why?” Kaldar asks. There’s nothing but curiosity in his tone.
Rauk’s quiet for just a moment, and I turn my gaze on him.
I'm surprised at the look on his face; it’s much more open than usual.
He meets my eyes for a moment before he looks back at Kaldar.
“I thought I could keep her safe. First, from the enemies we have on two fronts, but I failed at that.” My heart tugs in my chest. “And second,” and now, he meets my gaze.
“I never wanted her to have to compete in the Spirit Trials.” Understanding dawns, and I suck in a breath.
I think I knew that subconsciously, but the fact that he’s admitting it is.
..shocking. “She’s paralyzed from the waist down,” he finishes.
I look away from him, feeling too much. Instead, I look at Kaldar to see how he’s taking this all.
There’s understanding on his face. “I can understand that.” And that’s that. My respect for Kaldar grows. “You should know, though,” Kaldar continues. “Both Rysden and I have changed the laws in our kingdoms. No one is banished if they don’t have a spirit animal. You can do the same.”
It’s quiet a beat, and then Rauk says, “Thanks.”
He turns to walk away, and I stare after him a moment in shock, trying to process what I’m looking at. “Rauk.” I hurry to catch up to him. “What are the scars all over your back?”
“Exactly that. Scars.”
“But,” I pause, trying to comprehend what I saw. “That’s a lot of scars.”
“Yeah. That’s why I usually wear a shirt.”
“Would you stop walking away from me for a minute!?” He doesn’t stop walking. “Who did that to you?” I demand.
“Why does it matter?”
“Because I want to know who did it, so I can return the favor.”
He stops walking then and turns around. “You’re going to carve up somebody’s back with a knife?”
I don’t bat an eye, even as my stomach pitches. “Yes.”
He shakes his head. “No, you’re not; you’re not that cruel.”
I laugh coldly. “You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
I stare up at him. “Who did it?” I’m not even sure he’ll answer me. He certainly doesn’t have to.
“My father.” He walks over to the dragons, and I follow.
“You know, I’m really beginning to wish you hadn’t killed your father.”
“It’s a little late for that,” he says dryly.
“Because if you hadn’t killed him, then I could.”
“Bloodthirsty much?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder at me. I can’t really get a feel from him, and it throws me off.
“I’m serious.”
“What if I deserved it? What if I was a really bad boy?” he asks, not looking away from me as we come to a standstill next to Nox.
“It doesn’t matter; nobody deserves that.”
“Well, it happened. Now, up you go.” I look up at Noxlyn, and he suddenly looks a lot taller than I remember him being. “Can you get up there?”
I scoff. “Of course I can.” Noxlyn stands tall and proud and not remotely concerned about me trying to get on his back.
All right; here goes. It is not pretty, but I finally make it onto his back.
By the time I get into position, I’m breathing hard and sweating; and my entire body feels like it's on fire. I close my eyes and try to breathe through the pain. I think about how bad this flight is going to be, having to fly while in pain like this. And then Rauk settles in behind me, and I decide the pain is going to pale in comparison with having to fly with Rauk at my back. “Just don’t shove me off or anything crazy.”
“I guess it will depend.” He’s so close, I can feel the rumble in his chest from his voice.
“On what?” I ask.
“On whether or not you’re a pain in my backside as we ride.”
I huff at that. “I am not a pain.”
“You sure about that, Stabby?”
I frown. “Stabby?”
“Yeah, you get stabby when you get mad.”
I lift my hand holding my knife over his thigh. “Should I try out my nickname?”
He grabs my hand, keeping it from plunging the knife into his leg. “No. I would like to keep all my body parts intact. Ready?”
I thought I was, but I am wholly unprepared when Noxlyn simply shoots up into the sky.
The momentum throws me against Rauk. He’s not surprised however, and is like a rock behind me.
It’s not until we level out that I can peel myself off his front.
“Does he always lift off like that?” I ask Rauk loud enough that he can hear me over the wind rushing past us.
“Yes.”
“Huh. Redara does like a running start.”
“I know,” he says back. I try to see around him to check on Redara, but I can’t see her. “She’s behind us,” he says. “Noxlyn being in front of her will make it easier for her to fly.”
I take in his words and feel grateful to Noxlyn and to Rauk. You okay back there?
I’m fine.
I blink against the wind. I think the adrenaline might be fading because everything is starting to hurt.
The wind against my face feels so much stronger than normal, but I figure that’s because my face is sensitive from the hits I took.
My ribs ache, and I feel like I can’t draw a full breath.
I get panicky about not being able to get air, but I force myself to slow my breathing down and focus on something else behind the pain and my inability to breathe normally.
But the more we fly, the more I feel like I can’t breathe.
Panic starts to set in, and my heart starts racing.
I grab at whatever I can find, which just so happens to be a leg.
I turn my head trying to get away from the force of air against my face.
“Harper?” I hear near my ear. Some distant part of my brain recognizes it as Rauk’s voice.
“I can’t...” I turn my head to the side, trying to get out of the rushing wind.
I try to suck in air and just can’t. Tears blur my eyes, and panic crushes me.
Suddenly, my body is moving. I don’t even know how, but one minute I’m facing out.
The next I’m facing Rauk. Then those dark eyes are level with mine.
“Breathe with me,” he orders.
“I can’t...” I gasp on the words.
He takes my hand and places it on his chest. “Feel my breathing and match yours to it.” I shake my head, but he pushes my hand harder on his chest. “Breathe with me. Match your breathing to mine.” I manage to take in some air, but it hurts my ribs.
I stop sucking in a full breath as pain lances my chest. “It’s just pain, Harper.
Push past the pain and take in oxygen. Come on; I thought you were stronger than this.
” Anger at him flares through me, and I suck in a breath. “Come on, Stabby. Do it again.”
I suck in another breath. “Don’t...call me...that.”
“Call you what? Stabby? How about Violent then?”
“No.”
“Savage?”
I suck in a breath in anger. “I’m not...a savage,” I grit out.
“Wild then.”
“No.”
“How about one of my favorites then? Fierce.”
“Would you like me to show you just how fierce I can be?”
“Not particularly. All right, I’ll just stick with my favorite one.”
“What? Stabby?” I demand in irritation.
“Well, that’s my second favorite one. My first favorite is,” he pauses.
“Is what?” I demand.
His eyes lock onto mine. “Dangerous.”
I consider it a heartbeat. “Okay, you can keep that one. I like that one.”
He smirks. “Of course you do.” The look on his face softens slightly. “Can you breathe better now?”
I frown. “You did all that on purpose.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“Well, can you help me turn around again?”
“What if I don’t want to?” he asks.
“Well, I guess I could pull my knife again,” I counter.
The side of his lips tick up. “What if I like our current position?”
I shake my head. “You don’t, so don’t get any ideas.”
“Don’t I, though? Come on, Harper. I'm a man. Having your soft body—” I reach up and throw my hand over his mouth.
“Whatever you were just going to say, don’t. I really don’t want to get blood all over Nox.”
Rauk chuckles, and because we’re so close, I can literally feel it. “We’re going to land to cross through the portal. We’ll get you turned around then.”
I frown. “You used your hulking muscles to turn me around earlier.”
“That was because I was worried you were going to pass out from lack of oxygen and fall off the back of Noxlyn. Now, that would be a bloody mess.”
“You done?” I ask.
He smirks. “Probably not.”
Nox pitches forward suddenly, and I’m not ready for it. A strong arm clamps behind my back, steadying me. “We’re descending,” Rauk says, just a few inches from my face.
I scowl at him. “Yeah, no kidding.”
When we land, several of Kaldar’s guards surround us; it doesn’t escape me that they’re all looking at Rauk with matching looks of aggression. “Why are they all looking at you that way?” I ask him.
“I didn’t exactly ask for permission when I crossed through earlier,” he says with a shrug.
I turn back to the guards. “This is Rauk,” I tell them.
“King of the Dragon Kingdom,” he says low enough that only I can hear him.
“We know who he is,” one of the guards says. He eyes Rauk with such disdain that even in my slightly off state, I pick up on it.
I climb off of Nox’s back and face the sneering guard. “Seeing as he’s the one that just took down around twenty of the guivres who’ve been giving your kingdom problems, you should maybe change the look on your face,” I tell him.
I see several gazes shift to Rauk, who has now climbed down and stands behind me.
“Pretty sure I can defend myself, Stabby.” I turn around to glare at him, but the world tilts when I do so.
There’s a firm hand at my elbow. “Come on. Let's get through this portal and then get you back on Noxlyn.” The guards don’t say anything else to us as we pass through.
Noxlyn enters first, followed by Rauk, then me, and lastly, Redara.
I've barely recovered from stepping through when an arm reaches out and grabs me around the waist. I hit a hard chest with a grunt; the impact is so hard, it hurts my ribs.
The ground where I just stood erupts in burst of fire so close I can feel the heat of it.