CHAPTER 14
Katy
I
f a pin had dropped, the soft ting of it striking the stone floor would have been audible in her father-in-law’s study.
Axel was frozen, his hands still clasping hers and his eyes slowly widening as he absorbed her announcement.
Queen Carina’s jaw had dropped along with the hand resting on her cheek.
King Steffan’s pale skin was turning red, but he hadn’t moved.
“You’re—” Axel blinked a few times, then shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. “I need a moment.”
Not quite the reaction she’d been expecting, even if it matched her own feelings on the matter.
“Pregnant?” With the silence broken, the rest of the tableau sprang back to life. The queen clapped her hands together. “That’s wonderful, Katrin! How long have you known?”
“You’ve been ill for months.” The king spoke through gritted teeth, his voice quivering with suppressed emotion. “And you’re only telling us now? Do you know what the council is discussing today?”
Releasing her, Axel scrubbed a hand down his face.
“That part is my fault, Father. I never told her.” He paused with his hand on his jaw.
His eyes shot back to hers, a hint of frustration in his voice.
“Although I don’t understand why I’m just now learning this.
Isn’t it customary to tell your husband before announcing it to his parents? ”
Now that her hands were free, Katy twisted them at her waist. It wasn’t as if she could have hidden the news forever; she would begin to show in another week or two.
But if she had told him sooner, she could have avoided the rest of the truth a little longer.
“This wasn’t how I’d planned to tell you.
” In another setting, perhaps she could have downplayed her reason.
“I just hadn’t found the right moment yet. ”
“The right moment?” he parroted, eyeing her in disbelief. “When was that going to be? We share living quarters and a study. You have had plenty of opportunity to tell me!”
A bit of righteous indignation fought its way through her overwhelming guilt. “Just like you have had plenty of opportunity to tell me about this council meeting? What does it have to do with me being pregnant?”
His jaw tightened as he looked away. “I was trying to protect you. If I’d known—”
“Protect me? From what?”
Looking over his shoulder, he huffed out a breath through his nose. “Father, may I be excused for a moment of private conversation with my wife?”
Katy risked a glance at the king. He hadn’t looked at her with such hard eyes since the early days of her betrothal. His eyes flitted between them before he flicked his hand toward the door. “You have ten minutes.”
“Thank you, Father.” Axel grabbed her hand and hauled her to the door, barely sparing a nod for the guard outside. He pulled her into a nearby meeting room. As soon as the door closed, he dropped her hand and whirled to face her.
She lifted her chin, trying to hide its tremble. “Axel, I—”
“Lord Ulrich has convinced the council to enact an old law.” Poorly concealed frustration filled his voice as he cut her off.
“It enables them to choose the next successor from among the noblemen. He even wants them to make that man crown prince if I don’t agree to find a wife who will bear me a child. ”
Katy’s mouth dropped open at this revelation. “They—”
“The heavens know I don’t want the job,” he barreled on, “but replacing me with a nobleman would cause as much unrest as letting my cousin Marielle have my place. Whether or not he succeeds in that part, the council is bringing names for consideration today.”
They could do that? “Axel, you wouldn’t—I understand their concerns, but—”
He rubbed his hands down his face. “Of course I wouldn’t.
I meant every word at our wedding. I won’t go back on them just because Lord Ulrich is a—” He bit off whatever came next.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.
You were already under enough pressure on this topic.
But whether I told you about it or not, Katy, I don’t understand: why didn’t you tell me? ”
If she had known, she would have said something sooner, no matter the difficulty. Still, she couldn’t blame her reticence on his own. “I was scared,” she finally admitted, releasing a ragged breath.
“Scared?” Axel gaped at her. “What possible reason could you have to be scared of telling me that we’re finally having a baby?”
Turning to face the stone wall behind her, she pressed her hands over her stomach. It was complaining again, but she didn’t know if it was from morning sickness or her distress. “You know how I’ve been researching magic?” she began slowly.
“I thought you weren’t looking for ways to help our situation.” Katy could hear the frown in his voice.
She shook her head, forcing the words out. “I wasn’t. I want nothing more to do with magic.” In a mirror on the wall, she could see his eyebrows raise at this comment. “I was researching it to find a way out.”
“A way out? Of what? And what does this have to do with—”
“You know how I can be a bit rash sometimes?” she interrupted. He still looked upset, but one corner of his mouth twitched up a bit.
“I have experienced that, yes.”
Katy nodded and took a deep breath. This was it: the moment she’d been dreading for five and a half years. “I thought he was making it up. And then I hoped that it was about someone else. But last night, I remembered that, too.”
“Making it up?” he echoed. “Who? And making what up?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “You may not remember, but you liked to bring the monthly supply requests to Flussendorf when you visited Helena at Reineggburg. I was eleven, and I followed you outside one day when you left the mill after delivering the flour order. There was a man I’d never seen before, and he commented on—” Perhaps it was silly after five years of marriage, but she could feel her cheeks heating.
“He observed that I was fond of you. And he offered to help me marry you.”
“What?” Axel’s voice was quiet, but it sounded dangerous. Her confession was already going wrong.
She kept her eyes closed, but she hurried to continue.
Her voice quivered as she tried to explain her eleven-year-old self.
“I thought he was crazy. A miller’s daughter, marry a prince?
It didn’t matter that you knew my name; that was never going to happen.
But he pushed, and I thought it was absurd, so I agreed.
I thought I would never see him again.” Axel stayed silent, so she finally opened her eyes.
“Guess who just happens to know how to spin gold?”
Her husband’s stony expression didn’t change as he crossed his arms and stalked toward the windows at the back of the room.
“I know I should have refused. I shouldn’t have spun the gold.
But my family!” she pled, turning to face him.
“I couldn’t let my mother and sisters suffer because my father is a drunk or because I agreed to a foolish deal.
They would have been destitute if I had.
I hoped that given time, I could find a way around it. But I haven’t found anything.”
“I offered you a way to provide for them without marrying me. You didn’t take it.” She could hear the way his teeth clenched around his words.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she said, “No, I didn’t.”
“Why?”
He had to ask? “Because I love you.” She blinked back the tears. “The practical, sensible thing would have been to take your offer and walk away. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t imagine settling for anyone else.”
His head dropped, and for a long moment, they stood in silence.
Then he turned, walked over, and wrapped his arms around her.
“I wish you’d told me sooner,” he murmured into her hair.
His tension came through in the tightness in his tone and the way he crushed her to his chest. “But you were eleven. Everyone makes foolish choices at eleven. And I can’t complain about something that made it possible for us to marry.
” He paused. “But I don’t understand why that made you scared to tell me about the baby. ”
“That’s because I haven’t told you the worst part,” she whispered into his shoulder. “The stranger wasn’t altruistic. He demanded a price for his help. If I’d had any idea it could happen, I never would have agreed!”
Axel’s arms tightened around her. “What did he want?”
She opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. If Axel meant what he said, he wouldn’t stop loving her like she’d once believed. But it was difficult to admit the terrible truth of what she’d done.
“Katy?”
“Our baby,” she finally squeezed out. “The child I’m carrying. And I don’t think we can stop him from claiming it.”
Pulling back, he looked at her with merged eyebrows. He might have hit his limit for shocking revelations for the day: he blinked at her a few times, opened his mouth, and closed it again. But at least he didn’t look angry.
A sharp rap against the wooden door echoed through the room. “Your Highness? The king requests your presence in his study.”
Axel still looked like his brain was broken, but he glanced back toward the door. “We’ll be there in a moment.” Looking back at her, he squeezed her arms. “We’ll figure something out, Katy. Just—we’ll—don’t worry.”
The absent way he patted her hand and fumbled at the doorknob wasn’t reassuring.
Despite that, he managed to alleviate his father’s anger without revealing her secret, organize his spontaneous trip, and ride off with the appearance of competence.
Having a clear course of action seemed to steady him.
Hopefully, he would be back to normal after a full day to process everything.
“Come, Katrin.” King Steffan’s commanding voice pulled her eyes from Axel’s back as it disappeared down the road. “You have a council meeting to prepare for.”
~