30. Xavier
THIRTY
XAVIER
So pathetic, look at how you're still fuming at being bested by that agent cunt. What did you expect to happen, huh, Xavier? Did you think he was just going to let you have her?
"Shut up, you know nothing!" I shout into the empty loft, my voice filled with rage. "She's mine, she's always been mine, and he'll pay for touching her."
What if she isn't? What if she prefers him to your insanity and obsessive tendencies? What will you do then, Xavier? Will you finally end her miserable, traitorous life, like I've been telling you to do?
"She won't, and I can't. I won't ever let her go or allow him to have her.
I've sacrificed too much, waited too long.
Without her, the world doesn't make sense, and it's just you and me in the darkness.
" Hot, burning rage is wrapping itself around all of my nerve endings at his insinuation that Scarlett would prefer Jasper over me.
I won't allow that to happen. I won't give her a choice; she's mine or no one's.
Would it really be that awful if it was just us again? We were content for a while. You had your hobbies and your work. We were managing, semi-happy even.
"We were just existing, and barely at that, with no real purpose and too young to understand what we were missing. I don't want to be alone anymore."
I know, Xavier, but is this what you truly want? Chasing and pining for a woman who may never be solely yours? He won't give her up; you saw it for yourself. He's in love with her too.
"I'll make him." My thoughts of cutting Jasper Garnier open, from sternum to asshole, with a rusty knife, and ripping out his heart, are interrupted by a bang on my door that makes my face ache when I grimace, from the punches I took from that cunt. "Who the fuck could that be?"
Probably that agent prick, ready to finish what he started. If it is, you need to kill him, Xavier, or let me have control, and I'll finally get rid of him once and for good. Don't make me take control by force again.
He's right. Maybe it's time I ended Jasper Garnier's life, especially after what he divulged earlier.
He's becoming a sharp, poisonous thorn in my side, and if he were gone, Scarlett wouldn't have his arms to run back to.
I reach for one of the large, sharp blades from my knife block and slip it down the back of my pants, using my shirt to hide it from prying eyes before I head to the door, another knock impatiently echoing.
"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, XAVIER! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" Scarlett's furious voice breaches the door, and a flare of excitement races through my limbs as I rush to open it.
Oh goodie, look who it is, the witch herself. This day just keeps getting better.
"Scarlett? What are you..." I don't get to finish my sentence as she barges past me into the loft, her appearance disheveled, and instantly putting me on edge.
Has something happened to her since I brought her home, and tucked her safely into her bed?
The headaches she's been getting seemed to have increased, and I worry it could be something dangerous.
Yeah, cause her migraines are our biggest problem right now. You're such a hopeless love-sick idiot. The woman mutilates men, for God's sake.
"Save it. I need some answers, and you're going to give them to me.
" She pulls out a gun from her purse and points it straight at my chest. All the air whooshes out of my lungs as I take her in.
Her hands shake, gripping the weapon. She's still in the pajamas I placed on her after Jesse's murder, her hair's a tangled mess, flowing around her shoulders, her eyes are red and swollen, and there are tear tracks down her pale face.
"What has happened to you, Spitfire?" I try to take a step closer to her, dread lining the pit of my stomach, but she releases the safety, the sound loud, competing with the thumping of my heart in my ears.
"Don't! I'm tired of the games, Xavier! I need to know the truth!
" A tear slides down her face, disappearing off her jaw and onto her chest. Everything in me wants to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, to reassure her that everything will be fine, and I will always protect her, but the way she's looking at me, half-crazed, I know that would be the wrong move right now.
I have to get the gun away from her, before she does something we both regret, or X takes me over and forces her.
How fucking dare she point that gun at us! The stupid psycho bitch! I'll show her where she can shove it. Let me out, Xavier! For once, don't be fucking weak!
I raise my hands in submission, and take a step away from her, even though everything within me fights against it.
The need to be closer to her, to soothe her, is attempting to override my own self-preservation, and I can feel X pushing violently against our boundary.
If I can't de-escalate the situation, he'll soon gain control, and then I fear for both our lives.
If he hurts her, I won't survive it, and neither will he.
"What truth, beautiful? What is it you think I can tell you?" I swallow the lump in my throat, one of my eyes partially swollen, making her a bit blurry as I take her expression in, and the way she's observing me.
"Let's start with who did that to your face, Xavier.
Then you can tell me who you really are, and how you know me, and while you're at it, why you played that sick fucking game with me the other night, pretending to have information to give me about Ashmaker.
" I open my lips to speak, but she waves the gun dangerously in annoyance.
"Don't lie to me. You know things about me, things no one else does. I... I've seen images..."
Oh shit! The psycho-bitch is finally remembering! Hallelujah, about fucking time. I was starting to think she was never going to figure it out.
"Why don't you put the gun down, Spitfire, and we can speak calmly?"
Annoyance crosses her stunning features; her dark, mocha eyes narrow dangerously as she angles the gun slightly above my shoulder and presses the trigger, and one of my Edison lightbulb fixtures shatters, with a loud bang that threatens both our eardrums. "Don't you dare call me that, and start fucking talking! "
She's completely lost it, Xavier. This cunt is going to be the death of us, and I refuse to go down with you. Let me fucking out!
"My face is the handiwork of your jealous, asshole partner," I exclaim, taking another step away from her.
She stares at me in confusion for a second, as if she's having a hard time processing what I've just said, and more unease washes over me.
Something is very wrong right now. Scarlett is never so emotional; she's cool and collected, no matter the situation.
Could X be right and she's at her breaking point?
Put her down like a feral dog, Xavier! She's ready to snap!
I watch as her glance trails over my injuries, at least the ones she can see.
The bruising on my ribs is still hidden underneath my shirt, but I'm pretty sure that Jasper didn't break anything.
Regardless, the next time I see that asshole, I'm going to make sure he never takes a deep breath again.
Tit for tat and all that. "Jasper... did that to you? When?"
"This morning at Ashmaker's latest crime scene. He took exception to you having spent the night with me." A small smile tries to tug at my lip as I spy one of my hickies on her delicate collarbone, but the ache from a cut on the tender flesh halts me.
"Ashmaker's latest crime scene? Another body?
" She drops one hand from her hold on the weapon and drags her fingers roughly through her hair, pulling on the thick strands as if she needs the momentary hit of pain to clear her head as her body trembles.
"Jesus fuck! That was real, wasn't it? You. Me. That happened… We killed that man."
"Yes. Justice was served."
She lowers the gun and falls to her knees, unable to continue holding herself up as more tears slide down her face, and her breathing becomes ragged. "No, it can't... can't be true... I'm not a... killer."
I rush forward and fall to my knees in front of her, hoping that she doesn't decide to shoot me after all.
I hesitantly take the gun away from her, and she allows it.
I quickly slide the offending weapon across the floor and away from us, before dragging her into my arms, and holding her as tight as I can, as she breaks apart in front of me.
I always suspected that this day would come, that she would no longer be able to keep her two halves separate, but I wasn't completely sure of how or when.
Now that it's here and I'm witnessing how much pain she's in, I want to beg her to take it back, to stay strong the way she was before, even though I know there is no way she could have sustained it much longer.
I witnessed over and over the strain Ashmaker was having on her, and vice versa.
In that sense, she's different from me and X.
We have always been one entity, who knew of the other's existence, from a young age.
We protected each other. Two personalities inhabiting the same body, but taking turns on who was in control, based on the danger around us.
When I realized that Scarlett didn't know she was Ashmaker, that's when I started leaving her the clues.
I hoped that by leading her to the reality of what and who she is, it would unlock whatever was preventing them from being one.
Now, staring at the devastation that the truth has caused, I'm not so sure it was the right choice.
She's weak! She's nothing like us! Don't compare her to us. Together, we are invincible.
I cradle her back and forth in my lap, like one does to soothe a frightened child.
My lips meet the side of her head as I inhale deeply of her scent.
My Spitfire, my beautiful, broken girl, has finally come to me.
She's finally ready to be mine. She pulls away from me, her dark eyes staring into mine.
"I don't understand how this is possible. Am I broken?"