39. Scarlett
THIRTY-NINE
SCARLETT
"Almost there, Spitfire, just a few more steps.
" Xavier grits his teeth with annoyance at the fact that I wouldn't allow him to carry me from his car inside my house, his arm wrapped firmly around my back, guiding me up my short front steps.
I'm tired of feeling weak, and like an invalid.
All the days spent confined to a hospital bed, while I recovered, have put me on edge.
Well, that, and I haven't seen Jasper since the day I came out of surgery, and even then he was behaving off.
"I don't understand why you wouldn't let me take you to my place.
There are no steps there to climb." I release a frustrated sigh.
Round and round we seem to go with the same conversation.
The truth is that I'm starting to feel like the walls are closing in around me.
Xavier hasn't left my side for more than a couple of hours since I got hurt, and as much as I appreciate the concern and devotion, it's a bit much.
On the other hand, Jasper has me so disappointed and hurt with his cold behavior.
I texted him to get an idea of where his head is at, thinking that perhaps guilt over what happened was causing his absence, but he replied in quick, short messages that he was swamped with the case.
Swamped with what exactly? I know for a fucking fact that Ashmaker hasn't dropped any new bodies.
I've been too busy lying in a hospital bed to do much of anything, never mind go out and murder men, and Xavier has been at my side.
When I try to process how unhinged my life has become and that I might be insane, it terrifies me.
The knowledge that there's another version of me inside this body, one who is the polar opposite of everything I stand for, and all my morals.
She's a serial killer with a god complex, while I've spent years advancing my career in law enforcement, and catching murderers just like her.
Just like me. What does that even mean for my future?
Can I even continue to be an FBI agent knowing that I'm a monster?
It's all too much. Everything has become such a heavy weight, and I just need a moment of peace, a way to sort it all out and make sense of it.
"You know why, and I'm tired of arguing about it, Xavier.
I want to be in my own home, surrounded by my things.
" I glance in his direction and notice how tense his jaw is, and how he's refusing to meet my gaze.
We manage to get inside, and as I make my way to my sofa, I notice the window next to the back door has been repaired from Jasper's break-and-enter.
So he's been in my home, but hasn't come to see me in the hospital. What the fuck?
What did you expect from a useless cop?
I roll my eyes at her insolence. I'm a cop, or have you forgotten that?
It's become easier and less jarring communicating with Ashmaker in my mind over the last week.
It's also helped me to feel less alone, even though her thoughts are often chaotic, filled with darkness, and the need for bloodshed, not to mention she's not exactly a fan of Jasper's.
She's now also singing Xavier's praises a lot less since the incident in the shower.
I can only guess that she's also feeling stifled by his constant, possessive presence.
"Fucking asshole," Xavier mutters under his breath, and I catch it as I follow where his glance is firmly set.
On my small, round kitchen table is a huge bouquet of red roses in a clear, glass vase.
Jasper. A bolt of happiness instantly fills my chest. He didn't forget that I was being released today, like I presumed.
"They're beautiful," I comment, the corners of Xavier's mouth dropping with disapproval.
The animosity between the two men has only grown since my surgery.
I have no idea what happened while I was unconscious.
Xavier refuses to answer my questions, and I haven't been able to confront Jasper face to face, but my suspicion is that they had it out somewhere in the hospital, and that's changed Jasper's feelings towards me.
Maybe he's realized that I'm not worth the effort, and what he thought were real emotions and affection were just a mixture of lust, and work-related stress.
It feels like blades are stabbing me in my chest, when I think about him not wanting anything further between us.
My rage is simmering just under the boiling point to confront him.
I wish he was here right now, so I could rip into him and make him feel like shit like I do.
He's not worth it. I'll just hunt him down and kill him for you.
Yeah, no. We don't hunt FBI agents down, certainly not our partners.
If he doesn't want anything to do with me, that's his fucking loss.
I refuse to pine for a man that uses sex like a weapon.
He made me fall for him, even though I knew better, and should have guarded my heart.
He's a prolific womanizer, and it seems he's only interested when he's getting his dick wet. Fuck him.
My glance reverts back to the flowers, and if I had the energy to rise from the sofa, I'd throw them out.
I could ask Xavier to do it, but that might give him the wrong impression, and right now I'm barely holding back his obsessive need to consume me.
The man would climb inside of me and make a home, if he could manage it, which is a very morbid thought considering he's a serial killer, and more than a bit unhinged.
"Let's get you naked and in a bath, Spitfire." He moves towards me with intention, and I have to halt his steps. As much as a bath sounds amazing, I know it will lead to other things, recovering or not. Xavier can't seem to keep his hands off of me, not even in the hospital.
"Baby, spread those pretty thighs for me. I'm starving."
I'm pulled from my dozing by the sensation of Xavier's mouth pressing kisses on the inside of my knee, before he playfully bites the flesh on my lower thigh.
"Xavier, what the fuck! We could get caught!
" I groan even as I do his bidding, and widen my legs as I lie in the hospital bed, with the quiet white noise of machines all around us, and a bustling hospital just past the closed door of my room.
One glance toward the door shows me he's at least had the foresight to pull the curtain around the bed.
His lips trail up my thigh, leaving love bites, and the graze of his teeth in his wake.
I can feel my panties dampening, as my core contracts on emptiness in anticipation.
His fingers reach out and push my panties to the side, before he grazes his nose against my pussy, inhaling deeply. "Fuck, you always smell so good, baby."
The first swipe of his tongue has me lifting my ass off the bed, and grimacing as the stitches in my side pull.
His large, warm palm presses flat against my stomach, forcing me to remain motionless.
Heat is quickly rising up my body as he licks and sucks my clit, before thrusting his tongue inside of my tight hole.
"Oh, god," I moan over and over, as his thumb paints circles on my swollen nub, and I feel my wetness beginning to trickle down between my asscheeks.
Even though what he's doing to me already feels amazing, I need more. "Less gentleness, Xavier. I won't break."
"I'm trying to be good, Scarlett, please don't fucking tempt me, cause then I'll shove my hard cock down your throat." Hell yes, that's exactly what I want.
I grab a fistful of his hair and drag his mouth back to my core. "Shut up and make me come, Xavier," I demand, and am rewarded with two fingers thrusting inside of me, as his lips suction on my clit with a force that makes my toes curl, and my breath whoosh out of me.
"Fuck, harder! I'm so close!" I mewl as my orgasm begins to race through my core, and tightens my limbs, until I'm straining against the stiff hospital bed at the promise of my rapidly hitting euphoria.
My thighs tighten around Xavier's head, squeezing him tightly, and refusing to allow him to come up for air.
He slips another finger inside of me, stretching me, and curling it to hit that perfect spot inside of me that makes me detonate against his mouth.
My body flushes with heat, as every nerve ending tingles, and my pussy clamps down on his digits.
His feral groan against my soaked flesh has me forcing myself to slam my palm against my mouth, to quiet my cries as my eyes roll back in my skull.
Suddenly the door slams open, and the curtain is ripped back, my eyes widening in horror as Nurse Bree and an intern stare at us in shock.
"Did you forget that she's hooked up to a heart monitor?
!" Nurse Bree questions with amusement, and a raised brow, as the intern looks away, his face flushing red at the compromising situation I'm finding myself in. OH MY FUCKING GOD!
An ungodly squeak leaves my lips as I push at Xavier's head, and try frantically to pull my hospital gown down, but the bastard refuses to move, as he licks at my clit once more.
I can feel heat rising up my neck, and filling my face, as I bite down on my lip in mortification.
Finally, he pulls away, my wetness coating his mouth and chin, and smiles like the cat that ate the canary at Nurse Bree.
"Sorry, I was starving. You know they say hospital food sucks, but I was thoroughly enjoying mine. "
Lord, just kill me now. I kick at him and force him off the bed, his pants tented, as Nurse Bree rolls her eyes at his antics. "She's supposed to be resting, boy toy number one."
"Trust me, Nurse Bree, my mouth and fingers are the best kind of medicine to help her heal."
I'm ripped from the memory, my panties now completely soaked, as I squirm on the sofa and attempt to clue back in on what Xavier's asking me. "Umm, what?"
He pulls out vegetables and condiments from my fridge, that I know I didn't have in there before, and provides me with a naughty grin. "I asked what you're hungry for, Scarlett, but based on that pretty blush, I'm guessing it's my cock."
I won't deny that he's right, but I need to de-escalate the situation before he has me tearing my stitches with his wicked ways.
"Did you go grocery shopping and fill my fridge?
" He looks at me questioningly as if I've lost my mind.
My mouth opens and closes as the realization that it had to be Jasper fills me. "Ah, never mind."
"You know, for an asshole who pretty much ghosted you, the fucker doesn't know how to stay gone."
I fucking agree, yet I can't help the spark of hope that flares to life inside of me. Maybe he still feels something for me. I just hope it's more than the bond of being my partner. I don't know how I'll be able to work with him going forward if we don't clear the air between us.
I don't know exactly when my feelings for him changed; somewhere between the first time he held me all night safe in his arms, and knowing he came to claim me at Xavier's to protect me.
Then there was the devastation on his face when I was injured.
Thick fissures have slowly begun spreading across the thick wall I have built around my heart, and now I'm watching it crumble to dust.
Then there is the other more urgent problem that I'm actually the serial killer he's hunting, well, Xavier and me, I guess.
What will happen when Jasper figures it all out?
Will he try to arrest me to gain his promotion?
Does that mean more to him than I do? I don't know how to answer my own questions, so they race inside my mind and fill me with dread.
The small flame of hope within me is beginning to dwindle that his feelings for me have become as strong as mine.
Can I kill Jasper to save myself and Xavier if it comes down to it?
Instantly, I know that I won't be able to pull the trigger if it came down to it.
Xavier witnesses the hurt expression on my features that I'm not quick enough to hide.
"I'm sorry, Spitfire. I hate that you have feelings for the cunt, and as much as I despise the prospect of having to share you, I want you to be happy.
You deserve it after all the shit we've gone through in life.
I just don't know if he's capable of giving you what you want. "
Neither am I, and that's what hurts so badly.