EIGHT
Lisa
Lisa was drunk.
Under the influence, she shared personal details she’d usually keep to herself.
“Must enjoy cute dating. Going to the cinema, walking hand-in-hand, visiting farmers’ markets every weekend, that kind of thing.
Taking random out-of-town trips to the beach.
Oh, and he must support my love of drama shows.
I can’t have a man around me who ridicules how many fictional boyfriends I collect.
That’s a hard limit. It’s my hobby, and I’m not ashamed of it. ”
“Got it.” Nina laughed as she typed with both thumbs on her phone. Each text pinged through onto Lisa’s phone. “What else?”
“He should cook, because it’s not my favorite thing to do.”
“What about being good at housework?”
“As long as he doesn’t expect me to do everything and he can pick up around the house without being told to.”
“Basically, not a slob. You don’t want to be someone’s stand-in mom.”
“Yeah, slobs can’t apply as my lover.”
She was definitely drunk if she was using the word lover.
As Lisa rested an elbow on the table, she rimmed the now-empty shot glass and then licked the flavor from her fingertip. Mmm, bitter lemon was delicious. She loved anything sour; it was her only weakness.
“Kissing!” she yelled, and two men across from where they were sitting looked their way.
Lisa ignored the glances as she tapped her nails in front of Nina.
“Write kissing, but only kissing. I want to climb onto his lap and just kiss his mouth without his nosy dick getting involved. I made a mouth appointment, not a dick appointment, thank you very much, sir.”
“How dare that dickhead stick its nose in?” chuckled Nina.
Mentioning dicks triggered a memory for Lisa, who groaned and covered her face. “He had such a nice one of those.”
“What? Who? The fling had a nice dick?”
“Mmm. The best one, and just the right length and width. I swear it would poke my kidneys when he got going.”
“Baaaabe. Shit,” hissed Nina with a big grin on her face, as if she were seeing Lisa in a whole new light.
“I know. Isn’t that awful? He spoiled me for all other dicks. He could make a woman come from across the room just by looking at her.”
“By woman, you mean you?”
Lisa sighed dreamily, remembering too many times. She really should banish him from her mind; it wasn’t healthy. “Yeah. Me.” and then didn’t stop thinking about him because she said, “We had this thing...”
“What thing? Don’t stop there.”
“In the bedroom.”
“Floggers, candle wax and butt plugs?”
“No, but that doesn’t sound bad,” Lisa half-chuckled. “We, erm... we discovered we both liked it when I was in charge in bed.”
“Holy shit, lady.” Exclaimed Nina, blinking. “If I had even a quarter lesbian in me, you would have just turned me on. The younger fling enjoyed being dominated? Be still, my kneecaps. I might have to try that on Tomb.”
“Do it. It’s so liberating, Nina. My orgasms were like walking on Mars when he’d do everything I said, waiting with his hungry eyes and sexy, pleading groans. And when I let him come, it was... it was magnificent.”
“Mars! I don’t even know what that means, but I still understand,” laughed her closest friend.
“Phone calls and texts.” Lisa suddenly said, snapping her fingers in Nina’s face. “Add that to my magic list. I like to be in contact. Not obsessively but checking in throughout the day to see what the other is up to is nice.”
“Keep going.”
So she did.
Onto the list went:
Dancing together in the first snowfall.
Cooking together. (mostly Lisa being the taste tester)
Traveling.
Open and honest conversations about anything and everything.
Talking through problems, no festering feelings.
“I don’t want him to make me jealous with other women. His eyes are for me only.”
“Important one. I’ve put that in all capitals.” Agreed Nina.
“Did I say affection?” Her fuzzy brain couldn’t focus. “Put it down again; it’s important.”
“What about just adding all five love languages?”
“Yeah, yeah, good idea, my friend. Oh, and meeting for coffee dates just because.”
“Who? You and me?”
This made Lisa lean over the table with laughter. “Well, yeah, us. But I mean him and me. Also, he can’t get bitchy about me going on girlfriend dates. I only just made friends! I won’t let a stinky man get in the way of that just because he can’t handle it.”
“This is the perfect man we’re making, remember? We’re Weird Sciencing his ass to life. He won’t mind at all. I bet he’d drop you off, pick you up, and tuck you into bed at the end of the night.”
Lisa sighed wistfully, seeing only one face to tuck her into bed before she banished him again. She couldn’t think about him. “Yeah, that would be nice.”
When she’d agreed to come out with Nina, Lisa hadn’t expected to open the floodgates to her non-existent love life, but now those gates were swinging open drunkenly, and she let in all the loneliness she’d felt over the years. She’d only been lonely for one man.
She hadn’t been lying when she’d told Nina she was living a contented life.
But to have that perfectly crafted man at her side? Yeah, that could be nice.
Hot gray eyes and a cocky smirk looked back at her when her eyelids flickered closed, and Lisa gasped, snapping her eyes open. Nope, he couldn’t come in.
“No gray eyes.” She told Nina, “Put that in bold. No cocky smiles or sexy walks.”
“Wait,” Nina giggled, looking at her over her drink. “Now we’re writing things he can’t be? Does the younger fling have hot gray eyes and a cocky smile? He’s fat and bald now, babe.”
Oh, if only.
Not unless he’d eaten one hundred pizzas in the last few days since she’d seen him.
His waist was trim, and he had a thick head of hair she wanted to yank. Wait, no, she did not!
But she couldn’t divulge that to Nina. Her mind was too foggy from drinking to face full embarrassment.
“Ry... younger fling is probably so fat and so bald, like Homer Simpson with one strand of hair.” She nodded, picturing that biker’s beautiful face against her will.
Thank goodness she’d be sober and thinking straight tomorrow. Now it seemed fate wanted to throw her in his face as often as possible.
Even though she wondered if breaking up with Ryan was the right call, she knew she couldn't be around him today as a casual friend.
Sometime later, when Lisa scrolled through her text thread, she whooshed out an exhale. They’d made quite a list. She would never act on it, but she’d had a giggle making it, anyway.
No man like that existed. Yes, he did. A sly, unfiltered voice whispered tauntingly.
She really would have to make him in a laboratory.
And since she got a C in science, knowing Lisa, she’d probably make Frankenstein’s monster. And no woman had the time to go chasing a rampaging monster through town. That would cut into her drama shows.
“I’ll get a cab,” Lisa told Nina when they were ready to leave.
“Tomb is coming in his truck; we’ll take you home.”
They linked arms and leaned into each other. “Maybe we could become sister wives? You do all the sex, though.”
They both dissolved into giggles.
That’s how Tomb found them, however long later. The huge biker, built like a tank with a bushy beard, only had eyes for his wife as he reached to lift Nina’s chin.
“How wasted are you, princess?”
“Only this much!” Nina pinched her finger and thumb together, flirtatiously beaming at her husband.
“What about you?” he directed at Lisa.
“This much.” She copied Nina, fingers in the air.
“We barely touched a drop of alcohol.” Declared Nina as she slid across the booth and held out a hand for Tomb to haul her up to her feet. She leaned into him and snuggled up when Tomb put his arm around her.
“Yeah, yeah, I believe you, princess.”
“Ohhh, an endearment. Add that, Nina. Let’s put that on the list.”
“Oh, yeah, you need one of those, too.” She whipped out her phone and started texting.
“What are you going on about?” asked Tomb.
Nina poked him in the chest. “Don’t be nosy; it’s girl business. We’re making a man; don’t you even dare tell anyone, Rome.”
“I couldn’t even if I wanted to; I don’t have a clue what you two drunks are cackling about. C’mon, let me get you home and tucked into bed.”
Nina and Lisa clashed eyes, and together they sighed dreamily.
Her friend had the ideal man for her, and Lisa loved that for Nina.
One out of two friends being happy wasn’t bad odds.
With an illustrious career, enough money that Lisa didn’t have to worry day-to-day, and a handful of great friends, she shouldn’t really ask the universe for more than that.
Besides, at home, in front of the TV, she could always fall in love every night if she wanted to. Her actor boyfriends always made Lisa’s heart flutter.
In real life, it didn’t flutter like it once had because of a certain gray-eyed someone she would not think about ever again.
Once dropped off at home, she left her silver skirt and white shirt draped over the laundry basket before she swayed her way into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Drowsy from alcohol, she cleansed her face to avoid waking with irritated skin.
Not long later, she face planted into the plush mattress. With a slow exhale, Lisa drifted into sleep. But not before her subconscious cooked up a dream she hated having.
Because it was all about him, and how much she missed those sturdy arms wrapping around her from behind as his mouth found the side of her neck, as he huskily declared she was his goddess.
Too weary and drunk to resist, Lisa succumbed to her dream, dreading tomorrow when she’d remember longing for someone impossible.