TWENTY-EIGHT #3
At forty-two and in the initial phase of perimenopause, Lisa frequently couldn’t recall the names of people she had known for many years.
That information was tucked up somewhere in her foggy brain; she couldn’t locate it.
But she never, in a million years, would have thought their relationship could be lost.
“Are you feeling okay? You should still be at the hospital, Ryan.”
“It’s Splice, babe.” He said, without missing a beat, and Lisa’s stomach churned with dread. “I got a knock on the head; there isn’t anything being in a hospital room can do. I feel fine.”
Even Lisa, who normally had a lot to say, was speechless. She just looked at the man she adored, the one who’d been in her heart for an entire decade, and told herself to ignore his distant behavior because he was probably just in pain.
But her heart was splintering down the middle.
She nodded at his tone. “Are you going home?”
She had so many questions, but that one felt safe enough to ask.
He swirled all the way around on the stool and got to his feet. “Let’s talk over there, babe.”
She was hanging on by a thread as she followed him, seeing the looks everyone was giving her in the busy MC hangout. She followed Ryan to a nearby table, and he pulled out a chair and told her to sit. She parked her butt mechanically; she was too shaken up to stand, anyway.
“Are you sure you’re feeling alright? Not nauseous? I got little information from Tomb about what happened.”
“Icy patch of road, came off the bike. It’s no big deal; it’s happened before.”
Even the clipped way he was speaking wasn’t her Ryan.
“You look the same.” He said, looking her in the eyes. “It’s good to see you after all this time.”
Her vision blurred with the impending doom of tears.
“I saw you this morning, Ryan.” He’d been watching her as she woke up.
His easy smile greeted Lisa, and then Ryan wrapped her up in his arms. After that, well, it had been obscene love in the shared shower with mutual oral sex, and lots of pleading curse words from Ryan.
“It’s Splice now.”
“We’re in a relationship. Tomb said he’d told you.”
“Yeah, he did.” He answered, rubbing his chin. She saw his eyes somewhere over her shoulder, and she turned slightly to see what had caught his attention. Three women were coming through the door. When she turned back to Ryan, he was smirking.
Her stomach curdled.
So, this was the Splice Nina had talked about then, huh?
The ladies’ man. The charmer of all women.
“Listen,” he stated, resting his arms on his thighs; he leaned in toward Lisa, but even his mannerisms felt off.
“I get what my brothers have told me; they filled me in on everything I’ve forgotten.
I meant what I said, Lisa. It’s good to see you, but, babe, I’m fine. Don’t put your life on hold for me.”
The cut felt deep.
His words wounded her profoundly, like a physical blow to her exposed emotions.
“Don’t put my life on hold for you,” she repeated more slowly, digesting those words like the vilest food she’d ever eaten.
She stalled a moment, unsure how to respond to something she never thought she’d hear him saying.
Not the man who’d pursued her for weeks intending to win her heart. Which he had, and now what? She just went away because his memories were patchy and he didn’t remember all the swoony, lovely things he’d ever said to her over the past few months?
Impossible.
But that was what Ryan was asking her to do. Ryan would never abandon her in the same situation. He’d probably lock her in his basement until she got her memories back.
“What do the doctors say?”
He waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Give it time. Blah fucking blah, something along those lines. I’m fine.”
He’s fine. On the drive to the clubhouse, all she’d prayed for was that Ryan actually be unharmed.
And he was. Lisa got her wish.
But this—this felt like a nightmare with her eyes wide open.
Being rejected by Ryan so nonchalantly, like she didn’t matter to him at all, was a Freddie and Michael tag-teaming kind of nightmare.
She couldn’t ask, “What happens to us now?” because she was afraid of the answer. Give it time, she thought. Head injuries took time to recover from. That’s all Ryan needed to recuperate, and then he’d regain the memories of them together.
Patience and time.
Swallowing, she laced her fingers together. She really wished she were a woman who could throw a whole mess of a chaotic scene, because deep inside, her mind was screaming. How could this happen to them?
Fate brought them back together, but for what? To drive them apart only months later.
Impossible.
She couldn’t accept that.
“Ryan...”
Her man, who loved her so much, wasn’t there as his gaze raised and lingered on her face, and that killed her the most. “You don’t remember us, do you?”
“I’m sorry,” he said evenly.
It wasn’t his fault, she reminded herself, but the emotion burning her chest to ashes didn’t know that.
“You’re gonna be alright, Lisa.” He said, smiling, but it wasn’t her Ryan’s beautiful smile he gave her. “Did Tomb bring you? Do you need a ride back home?”
Was he kicking her out? Un-fucking-believable. Her jaw tightened as she snapped her teeth together and shot to her feet. What else could she do? Argue with him to love her?
She still had pride somewhere.
Patience and time, she reminded herself.
“If you don’t want to be at the hospital, at least have Denver check you over, please. You can’t take head injuries lightly.” She croaked, forcing herself not to cry. He frowned, and it was the first reaction she’d seen from Ryan since she walked through the door. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
She had to get out of there; too many people were already watching them.
“I’ll take you.” Tomb stepped up to her, and Lisa shook her head.
“I’m fine.”
“Honey, let Tomb take you home.” Vince came up to her, rubbing the top of her arm as she watched Ryan saunter back to the bar.
He sat down like he didn’t know he was breaking her world in half, watching as her blood and soul poured onto the floor.
“He’s not himself right now, honey,” Vince went on.
“I’m gonna stay here with him, make sure he’s fine, don’t worry, okay? ”
“Thank you, Vince. Call me if he...”
“I absolutely will. I promise. He’s better here with his brothers, familiar ground, you know?”
She nodded but didn’t understand.
Lisa wanted to be the one taking care of him, but if Ryan himself didn’t want that, what other option did she have but to wait, be patient, and hope she woke from this nightmare soon?
She didn’t crack as she walked out.
She remained solid during the drive back.
But it happened as she let herself into the house: her butt hit the first stair, and she just let the floodgates open. Tears poured, sobs racked her torso.
Cry now, she told herself, get it out of the way, let the realization sink in, and then deal with it. That was her plan of action.
Give Ryan time to heal, then see where they were at.
The next hour, Nina turned up at the house, and Lisa broke her vow as she collapsed into her friend’s arms and cried as if the world had ended.
Not being loved by Ryan Gold basically meant the end of her world.