Chapter 13 #3
I bury my face into her hair. My breathing doesn’t settle nor does my panic recede.
I know I’m being foolish, that my reaction is dramatic, but I just went over a week without knowing where she was and if she was okay and wondering if I’d ever see her again.
Rationality doesn’t exist at this moment.
I cling to Blair as if my life depends on it.
“Can’t… breathe…”
I fight the urge to ignore her, to keep her crushed against me where I can feel her heart, her body heat, and the swell of her lungs as she gasps for air.
Begrudgingly, I shift my weight just enough not to be completely on top of her.
“Santi… get off!” She gasps out.
My bottom lip juts out but I move this time, for real. I sit up but drag Blair up with me and then into my lap as I sit crisscross on the ground. My arms come back around her and I hold her tight. Blair’s stiff in my arms but I don’t care. She’s in my arms—that’s all that matters.
“Santi, what are you—”
“Don’t run,” I plea as I bury my face into the crook of her neck. “Don’t leave me.”
“I wasn’t running or leaving, I just needed some space.”
“You had all the space I’m going to allow,” I snarl, holding her closer. “I don’t want you to be anywhere else other than with me.”
Blair doesn’t say anything to this. She sits there rigidly in my arms for a few minutes in tense silence before her body begins to relax.
“Santi, are you trembling?”
Am I? Oh… I am. I open my mouth to say something but my bottom lip quivers. Rather than speak, I bite it.
Blair sighs, the rest of the tension leaving her body with the long exhale. In Spanish, she asks me quietly, “What’s going on, Santiago?”
Something in my chest unwinds. I’m not sure if it’s because of the familiarity of my native tongue or because the woman I love is no longer fighting me. But when I open my mouth, I manage to speak this time.
“Everyone I’ve ever cared about has died, carino,” I answer in English. I pull away to look into Blair’s face and find her watching me with an unreadable expression. “This whole time you guys were gone, I thought the same thing would happen.”
Blair frowns. “It didn’t. We’re fine, Santi.”
“But I didn’t know that until you called!
It was eight days before I heard your voice and could breathe!
” I protest. “I-I don’t want to lose you.
I’m so fucking scared that you’ll be taken away from me and I won’t be able to stop it.
You were gone, Blair. I didn’t know what happened to you or if you were okay.
I can’t do that again. Please don’t make me go through that again. ”
“Well, the man responsible for my impending death is sitting in our basement,” she says, her voice thick with anger.
Scowling, I hold her tighter to me. “I won’t let that happen to you.”
Blair’s head twists away from me.
“What do you think we should do?” she asks, her voice cold.
I consider the situation for a long moment. This shit is messy, that’s for sure. There’s no doubt in my mind that, if this was anyone else, I’d immediately suggest killing them. With all the chaos and pain he’s inflicted on all of us—it’s almost justifiable.
But… I owe Ledger everything.
Without him, I wouldn’t be sitting on my ass in the woods with one of the people I love.
He deserves some sort of loyalty. If that means fighting for his life, I might have to do that.
Then again, I don’t have to make sure the life he lives is a great one.
We can keep him in the basement, in that stupid cage, until he dies of old age for all I care.
At the end of the day, though, I can’t in good conscience kill him.
I wish more than anything I could make this right for everyone without any more bloodshed or pain. But I can’t.
While I don’t answer Blair out loud, my silence is damning. I can feel Blair’s body growing stiffer with each passing second.
“So you’re on Rhett’s side.” The way she says it, without inflection, is almost worse than if she had yelled.
“We don’t have to make any decisions right now,” I mutter against her skin.
Don’t be mad at me…
Unable to stand the friction gathering between us, I press my lips to her neck.
I plant another kiss just above the spot I’d kissed before.
I do it again, trailing kisses up her neck until I get just beneath her ear.
Nipping at her earlobe finally gets a reaction out of her.
She rolls her shoulder to get me to stop.
It’s not the reaction I’m looking for but at least she’s not icing me out.
“Can I take you somewhere?” I ask, as an idea strikes. “We don’t have to make a decision about Ledger now so let’s put all of this on the back burner, okay?”
At this, Blair turns her head enough to look at me from the corner of her eye. “I shouldn’t be going out, Santi. I should be laying low.”
“We aren’t going far and there won’t be anyone there,” I promise. “But we’ll find you a hat to cover your face just in case.”
Blair considers the offer. She sucks in a deep breath then lets it out slowly.
“Okay, sure. Let’s get out of here.”
Grinning, I let her go so she can slide from my lap and stand. I get up with her, and I take her hand to lead her back to the house.
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“It’s a surprise.”
Blair hums thoughtfully but doesn’t push.
Both Wes and Rhett are in the kitchen chatting in low voices when we return. Rhett pushes off the counter and steps in front of Blair.
She tenses.
It takes everything in me not to do the same.
Rhett’s changed since that night he and Blair disappeared during a storm. The next morning he’d said he was going to be better—I’m going to give him that opportunity. Now is the perfect chance to trust him not to put his foot in his mouth again.
“I’m…” Rhett’s voice trails off. He clears his throat and tries again. “I’m sorry.”
The two words are stiff and stilted from Rhett’s lips but holy shit!
I blink in surprise then have to bite back a delighted grin.
An apology from Rhett? A real one? I’m so fucking proud of him.
Wes looks just as surprised though he manages to hide it by turning and pretending to search for something in the refrigerator.
“Don’t worry about it,” Blair replies coldly as she moves to step around him.
Rhett sidesteps to block her path. “I shouldn’t have said that shit. You’re right, it is hypocritical of me to stand in your way from getting your pound of flesh—I just… I can’t step aside and let you kill him. Not without answers.”
The look Blair gives him is utterly empty.
There’s no anger. No disappointment. Not even a flicker of understanding.
I suppress a shiver. Holy shit, Blair can be scary.
“Fine,” she says, her voice clipped. Stepping around him, she tells us, “I’m going to shower and get dressed.”
Rhett glances at me, his brows pinching together with worry.
“Don’t worry,” I mutter when she’s out of earshot. “I’ll try to change her mind.”
Wes sighs. “Keeping him alive is a mistake, you two.”
I really fucking hope not.