Chapter 33 #2
“Well…” I hedge. “Here’s the thing. Everyone under this roof is… ah,” I wince. “I’m with them.”
“With them?”
My face flames hot with embarrassment. “Yeah.”
Dad pauses then he has the nerve to let out a gasp. “Blair! Don’t tell me you’re sleeping with all of them?”
Oh, I so wish that I wasn’t having this conversation with my dad.
He sucks in a sharp breath as he pulls himself up to his full height. Grimacing, I force myself to face him.
“Look, I understand you’re a woman with… needs,” he winces at the word. “But you’re still my daughter and I’ll be damned if I let you get gang banged by a bunch of men with questionable morals.”
I roll my eyes. “You hired a male prostitute to show me that sex wasn’t bad when I was sixteen years old. I think ‘gang bangs’ was just the next step from there.”
To be fair, Dad was trying to help me.
For whatever reason, I was having horrible nightmares of the things Uncle Al and his friends had done to me during that early period of my life. I guess the trauma had eventually caught up to me after years of ignoring it. Dad had hired Sweet Boy to show me that sex didn’t always have to be bad.
That had to have been the most embarrassing moment of my life.
Dad had been watching from the corner of our hotel room with a gun pointed at Sweet Boy’s head in case he hurt me while I laid on the bed completely and utterly mortified at being naked and vulnerable like that in front of him.
At least the nightmares stopped after that… So I guess I can say it worked.
“I can’t believe this,” Dad hisses as his body tenses. “You’ve let yourself be blinded by lust.”
I suck my teeth. “It’s not lust.”
Though… It's hard not to feel that way around four extremely hot lumberjacks.
Dad scoffs. “Call it whatever the hell you want—it’s a death sentence all the same.”
“Look, Dad.” I suck in a deep breath and allow myself to be as honest as I can with him.
“I don’t fit in most places. But with them?
I feel like I’m right where I belong. I want this.
I want them. I love all four men inside.
When this is all over with, I hope you’ll do me the courtesy of trying to actually get to know them.
Not just pull up their backgrounds and determine their worth that way. ”
Asking Dad to get to know anyone is a big ask. Asking him to get to know my—boyfriends? Lovers? Whatever they are—is the holy grail of asks. One that I know will probably be shot down immediately.
“It’s dangerous to have so many attachments,” Dad warns with a dark scowl. “They’ll hurt you.”
“You’re overreacting,” I point out. “I trust them.”
“Trust?” he repeats incredulously. “Do you really believe that those men, those distractions, will actually step in to help you if shit hits the fan?”
“Yes.” My quick, sure response throws him for a loop. I see it in the way he blinks and he hesitates. Before he can object any further, I ask, “Do you trust me?”
Dad sucks in a sharp breath. “You know the answer to that, Blair Bear.”
“I want to hear it all the same.”
“Of course I do.”
“Then trust me when I say that Wes, Rhett, and Santi are ride or die for me.”
Dad notices the name I left out of that immediately. He steps closer, his brows creeping together. “And Ledger? Do you trust him to be your ‘ride or die’?”
I hold his gaze as I answer—knowing that he needs to hear me say this. “Yes. Especially Ledger. Now, more than ever.”
He gives me a dark glare. “Then I’ll have to be more cautious for the both of us.”
With that he skirts around me and heads for the porch steps. My heart drops as I watch him descend and head towards the woods.
Is he leaving me?
Have I disgusted him so much?
I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions and I stand by every one that I’ve made. Still, the thought of disappointing Dad sickens me. I don’t want to leave things between us so fractured and broken.
My hands ball into fists as I fight the hurt trying to well up.
“Where are you going?” I ask, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.
To my surprise, he answers me.
“To think.”
Before I can stop myself, I push off the rail and start to hurry after him. I manage to get myself under control just before my foot hits the steps. Forcing myself to stand still, I stare at his retreating back. He would hate it if I sprinted after him because I was upset.
If Dad wants to leave, he can. I sure as hell can’t stop him.
But I thought, with him here, we’d be able to nip all of this shit in the bud once and for all.
Stress and fear creep forward. What if he tries to handle this mess on his own?
What if he gets hurt or killed? The painful unknown regarding his fate will return and it’ll eat me alive.
“You’re coming back, right?” I blurt out then wince at the trepidation ringing in my voice.
Bracing myself for the quiet dismissal that I know is coming, I hold my breath.
Dad stops abruptly before slowly turning to face me.
I try not to let the surprise show. When he’s done talking, he’s done. To acknowledge me despite having already started to walk away? That’s… different.
His face is hard as our eyes meet.
“Until you're safe from all threats, I’m not leaving you,” he promises darkly.
It’s unfortunate he sees my guys as ‘threats’.
But to hear he’ll be back has relief rushing through me, making me feel shaky and lightheaded. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until now.
“I’ll see you shortly, Blair Bear.”
With that, he turns and disappears back into the woods.