Chapter 35
Thirty-Five
Rhett
Ascream rattles around inside my head.
The soul-aching terror that has a hold of me right now is making it hard to breathe. My heart feels like it’s trying to claw its way out of my chest with how hard and fast it’s racing.
It’s just like the day after we let Ledger out of that cage in the basement.
The need to sit outside Blair’s door to make sure he didn’t slip out of his own room to slit her throat in the middle of night had been brought on by an anxiety so intense that it drove me to extremes.
That same feeling is back, this time even more urgent than before. I didn’t even think it was possible for it to become more intense, but it is and it’s tearing me up inside.
I have to protect Blair and right now, the threat is from her fucking dad.
I don’t trust him—not even a little bit.
He might be watching us like we're the threat to Blair but the only person at this table dangerous to her is him.
How the hell am I supposed to protect her from Anchor, though?
This man is a fucking psychopath. Holding hostages is a low I can’t even begin to fathom.
It makes me sick. It also has me wondering if this is new for him or if this is just a typical fucking thing he does whenever the mood strikes.
Nothing I learn about or from him gives me any sense of comfort.
I hate that this man is what Blair knows of family.
No wonder she’s so sharp and independent.
She’s had to be both to survive her father’s world.
The air of confidence mixed with the eerie void of morality that hangs around Anchor has my stomach turning inside out.
The uncertainty of how to keep Blair safe from him makes my growing anxiety feel suffocating.
I try to hide the panic.
Glowering at Blair’s dad helps. The fucking asshole just can’t seem to wrap his stupid fucking head around the fact that his daughter is her own person.
Every time he makes some quip about her not meeting his standards or his tone rings with disapproval, I want to leap across the table and cut his tongue out of his mouth.
By the time we’re clearing our dishes from the picnic table, I’m about one condescending comment away from stabbing Blair’s dad.
I stomp into the house and toss the dishes in the sink.
“Hey,” Santi grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall into the family room. When we’re out of hearing range of the others, he grabs my face and forces me to look him in the eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” I spit out through gritted teeth. Jerking my head out of his grasp, I step back and turn my glare elsewhere.
Santi sighs. “He’s, ah, pretty intense, huh?”
“Who?”
“You know who I’m talking about.”
I can hear soft conversation taking place in the kitchen. Ledger’s voice rises and falls, Wes’s voice follows suit. Blair’s there to smooth over whatever tension has started to boil over. My hands fist at my sides but they tremble hard.
“He’s a piece of shit,” I admit.
Santi steps in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders. His brows pinch together in concern as he searches my face. “What’s happening right now? You look…” Santi’s words trail off as he sighs.
I shake my head, not wanting to give voice to the cause of this panic attack coming on.
Shame beats at me. Why can’t I push this feeling away?
Before Blair yanked me off that cliff’s edge all I could feel was shame, regret, and guilt.
Yeah, sometimes they’d get the best of me.
They led me to the edge of a cliff for fuck’s sake.
Yet since that night, it’s like Blair breathed life into me and made room for all the things I’ve refused to let myself feel. Now, I feel it all and it’s too damn much.
“Santi, he’s got to go,” I whisper as I force myself to look back at him.
Santi nods. “Yeah, he gives me the creeps too. I don’t think he’s staying the night so at least we’ll get a break from him.”
Turning to give him my attention, I step forward and cup his face in my hands. “He’s not good for us or her.”
Santi’s eyes darken as he nods. “I was thinking that too. Let's snag Blair for our own tonight. After dealing with her dad, I’m sure she can use a distraction.” A smug smile stretches across his face and it makes me laugh.
Santiago might have Blair’s best intentions at heart but he’s absolutely willing to be selfish about her too.
Leaning in, I kiss him—pouring all my love for him into it so he knows I’m not withdrawing from him.
Santi leans into the kiss. His answering moan settles something inside of me.
The tension in my chest eases and I find it easier to breathe.
One hand slips from his face so that I can wrap an arm around his waist to pull him closer.
His stiff cock strains against the front of his pants and presses into my waist.
Mine stirs to life, tempted by the delicious man before me.
“—and grab my go-bag. Give me a second and then we can head out!”
Blair’s words break through the cloud of lust that slowly rolled in and was starting to block out the rising anxiety. Terror claps like thunder through me and I pull away from Santi with a gasp. I turn to call out to her but she’s already passed the living room.
“Shit,” I croak out as a ringing starts up in my ears.
She can’t leave! How am I supposed to watch after her if she’s gone? Just the thought of her being out of my sight for hours is enough to send me spiraling.
“Go figure out what she’s up to, I’m going to make sure Wes and Ledger have backup in case Anchor suddenly snaps,” Santi urges, grimly.
I leave Santi in the living as I turn and give chase. Blair’s halfway up the stairs when I get to the bottom of them.
“Wait, why are you grabbing your go-bag?” I demand.
Over her shoulder she says, “Because I need it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going with Dad back to wherever he’s bunkering down.” Blair gets to the top of the stairs and disappears down the hallway. Her voice trails after her as she adds, “It’ll be nice to have gear this time around if we get caught up in anything on the way there or back.”
I choke down a cry of alarm as I lurch myself up the stairs and chase her down to her room.
By the time I get there, Blair is opening her closet and reaching for her go-bag. I don’t let her get that far. Without thinking, I shove her away from the closet.
“Rhett! What the—”
“You can’t go!” I snap, shoving at her again until I’ve pushed her up against the wall.
Blair’s eyes widen with surprise. “Why not?”
“Because I need you here!” My voice cracks as I try to suck in short gasps of air. I can’t seem to fill my lungs.
This can’t be happening to me. This is the second time I’ve been unable to control the tidal wave of helplessness, fear, and anxiety that crashes down over me. This is not the time to start having these breakdowns.
I can’t just fall apart like this.
The muscles in my chest constrict tighter until it’s painful.
“Rhett…?”
I grab a hold of Blair’s shoulders and lean on her, keeping her pinned against the wall as my chin drops to my chest.
The two of us were already split apart from the others before and it had been fucking awful. Just the thought of her dealing with something all on her own—without any of us—turns my veins to ice.
“I need you…” Gasp. “Here.” Gasp. “I can’t… can’t protect you if you’re not here.”
“Rhett.”
“Blair, please, don’t go,” I gasp out.
“Rhett, get off of me. You’re hurting me.”
I can’t protect you if you’re gone…
“Don’t go,” I repeat, my voice a broken whine.
I need you in my life.
“Don’t go.”
You can’t die and leave me like Abby did. If we’re together, you’ll be okay.
Suddenly, I’m shoved backwards. The move takes me by surprise and when I inhale sharply, I manage to fill my lungs. Blair strolls forward, her eyes pinned to my face, her expression hard.
“Hey,” she snaps, grabbing the front of my shirt and shakes me. “What the hell is going on?”
Rather than answer her with words, I do what Santi did to calm my nerves.
I lean forward and kiss her. The minute our lips meet, I can feel the existential dread slowly retreating.
The anxiety sticking to my soul is washed away and my lungs expand fully.
This is exactly what I needed. My arms wrap around her body and I crush her to me.
Blair literally growls against my mouth before biting my bottom lip, drawing blood.
I jerk back, hissing in pain but grin as I stare down at her.
“Feel better?” she asks coolly.
“A bit.”
She raises a curious brow. “Want to tell me what that was all about?”
“Nope.”
Now that I’ve had a taste of her, now that I’m holding her, my mini panic attack feels a little ridiculous. I start to shake my head but Blair’s hand lets go of my shirt only to reach down to twist my nipple through it.
“Son of bitch!” I yelp as I leap back.
Blair chuckles. “Well, if you’re done freaking out on me, then I need to go. Dad hates to be kept waiting.”
I grab her arm before she can grab her go-bag. When Blair looks back at me, I sigh. “Why are you taking off with your dad? Just stay here. He can…” I grit my teeth as I offer, “stay here too… if he wants.”
I’m sure that sounded super fucking convincing. But if Blair hears my reluctance, she doesn’t point it out.
“I have hostages to save.”
I blink in surprise. “What? You’re going to—”
“Yeah,” she nods. “I’m not letting him do this. He won’t tell me where they are while we’re around you guys, so I’m going to stay with him so I can find them myself.”
God, this woman is fucking incredible.
“Your dad is a twisted fucker, you know that, right?”
She rolls her eyes. “He’s not so bad once you get to know him.”
I want to point out that just yesterday we overheard her dad admit to attempting to kill her. Or that when she’s stressed, she has nightmares about what he used to put her through. Or that he seems to get hard talking about how his ex-friend could wipe out villages full of innocent people.
“I don’t want to get to know that asshole.”
“You didn’t want to get to know me when we first met but now look at where we are,” she points out with a smile that makes my heart swell.
I scoff. “If getting to know your dad will end up with me sleeping with him, then I really don’t want to get to know him.”
Blair laughs as I let go of her arm. I chuckle begrudgingly with her.
How easy it is to breathe now that I’ve held Blair in my arms. My fears are unfounded; Blair is going to be okay.
“You’ll be back tomorrow?” I ask her.
Blair smiles warmly. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow, Rhett.”
Leaning down, I kiss her again. When I straighten, I tell her. “Be safe, alright?”
“Always, Rhett.”