Chapter 42 #2
Dad has looked out for me for most of my childhood but he was always quick to remind me that I needed to be self-sufficient and independent.
He didn’t hand me things—he’d make me get it.
He didn’t coddle me when I hurt myself—he just reminded me to be careful in the future and taught me how to tend to whatever injury I’d incurred.
Hell, even him hanging out right now isn’t normal. After a job, Dad usually disappears pretty quickly.
Unsure of his motive—because there definitely is one given all this fanfare—I turn my attention to the oatmeal.
My stomach growls as I stare down at the food, but then it knots in warning.
Will I be able to keep this down? And do I want Dad to witness me any weaker if I can’t?
I’m not sure I can handle the embarrassment right now.
“I—” Dad starts suddenly.
When I look up, his mouth clamps closed and he looks away from me. I wait, wondering if this is some sort of test I’m not understanding.
“Blair Bear, I almost lost you,” he says quietly, his shoulders dipping low.
“It… it’s put things in perspective for me.
” When Dad turns to look at me, his eyes are darker than normal.
“I never, in a million years, wanted you to feel like you had to protect me. Yet, not only did you not hesitate to put yourself in front of me to catch stray bullets, but you shoved me out of a window so I could escape. You are my daughter, Blair. I’m supposed to protect you from harm’s way.
It’s never supposed to be the other way around. ”
I give him a half-smile. “And you’re my dad. I’d do it again and again.”
Dad’s frown disappears as he glares at me.
“You won’t” he snaps. He starts to say more but his eyes flick down to the bowl in my hands. “Eat, Blair Bear. You need those pills—you’re trembling like a leaf.”
“I’m alright,” I disagree but attempt to take a small bite.
My stomach grumbles loudly with delight.
Oh yeah, I’ll be able to eat this just fine. Dad waits until I’ve taken several bites before he continues to speak.
“Seeing you this hurt makes me so fucking sick,” he admits.
“As you grew up, I prepared you for my world—for you to follow in my footsteps but thank god you didn’t.
Keeping you hidden from the world had been hard, but now, I think, it would’ve been harder knowing you were out there taking jobs where I wouldn’t be close enough to step in to help if you needed it. ”
I don’t know what to say to this so instead of speaking, I take another few bits of oatmeal. Silence stretches as I eat. It’s not uncomfortable—in fact, it’s very normal for the two of us. I relax a bit as he turns and stares around the room.
I’m about halfway through the oatmeal when my stomach starts to protest.
“Here, do you want it?” I offer.
Dad looks down at the bowl in my hand and frowns. “You should finish it. There wasn’t much in there to begin with.”
Wow. He must still be pretty shaken if he’s pushing this. While this concern might be normal coming from literally anyone other than him, it’s worrisome that Dad’s feeling this worked up.
“Hey,” I say quietly. Dad’s gaze lifts to meet mine. “I’m okay, Dad. Really.”
“I’m… not.”
I blink in surprise at his confession, made stiffly. It breaks my heart.
“I couldn’t save you this time,” he continues, quietly.
“Dixie’s grudge was against me, not you, and I should’ve expected that one day he’d try to get back at me.
But so much time had passed… I thought—well, it doesn’t matter.
I let a threat loom over our heads and got careless. I’m the reason you’re hurt.”
He reaches out to take the bowl and places it on the nightstand.
I’m grateful because my hands are trembling hard now. Mostly from pain but partially due to the fact that he’s being so sweet to me. This isn’t the Dad I grew up with.
He’s better than that man.
“I don’t like the idea of you lowering your guard around anyone,” he continues. “But if you are going to lower it, the men that live under this roof are the best ones to do it around. They really do care for you.”
I smile. “I know.”
“I’m going to stick around until you’re better,” he adds, surprising me. “I might’ve been a bit hard on you growing up but I’d like to try to make it up to you now, if you don’t mind. If you need anything, I… I want to be the one you ask it of, alright?”
I’ve never seen him look so uncomfortable.
Or heard such emotion in his voice.
Looks like Dad’s a new man—it just took nearly dying for him to pivot.
“I’d like that a lot,” I admit. Hedging my luck to see how far this sudden fatherly affection goes, I ask, “Actually, there is something I need help with. Do you mind looking into it?”
Dad nods instantly. “Whatever you want, Blair.”
I hesitate for a second, not sure if he’ll be open to it, but there’s something I need to fix, and this is the only way I can think of right now. When I ask Dad my question, he considers it carefully.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“The others will help,” I tell him.
I can see that the idea of asking my guys for assistance on this task might be where he draws the line. His nostrils flare in disgust and his jaw ticks. After a second, he gives me a subtle nod.
“Fine, I’ll talk to Ledger in a bit.”
I beam at him. “Thanks, Dad.”
He gives me a rare smile and reaches out to pat my thigh over the covers.
As he pulls away, Ledger and Wes walk into the room. I wonder if they were eavesdropping. Probably. Not that I mind. It’s good for them to hear my dad’s softer side.
“Hey, baby girl,” Wes greets warmly as he crosses the room first. He leans down and kisses my forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better,” I admit.
He glances at the bowl of oatmeal. “You couldn’t eat anymore?”
“I asked her the same thing,” Dad drawls as he moves to stand.
“No… my stomach won’t let me.”
Wes hums. “Maybe I’ll have Santi run to the grocery store and get some ginger ale. It should help settle any nausea you might have. Drink that water, though. You need to stay hydrated.”
Ledger shoulders Wes out of the way and offers me two large white pills. “Take them. Knowing your predisposition for pain killers, you’ll be out almost at once. One of us will be here in case you need us, but try to relax, alright?”
I nod, smiling up at both of them.
“Thanks guys. If I fall asleep before Santi and Rhett get home—”
“We’ll let them know you were asking for them,” Wes promises warmly. “They’ll be glad to see you up.”