Chapter 43
43
Sonny
“ I t’s been four days.”
“She needs rest.”
“After that episode? I don’t doubt it. But she needs food and water, too.”
The voices argue over my head, though I feel so far away from them. I’m trapped in this never ending, emotionless abyss. Like floating in the ocean or flying through space, gravity can’t even touch me here. No one can get to me here.
No one can hurt me.
There are no traps or prisons.
No life or death.
I am nothing and everything all at once.
“ H ow long has she been like this?” a deep voice growls. It’s different from the ones that have been present, yet so familiar.
“A few days,” someone answers, their words shaky.
“And no one bothered to tell me?” the angry man asks.
“We were dealing with our own problems,” another booming masculine snarks back.
“Why would we tell you?” Someone else dares to ask, and I’m instantly filled with rage at their words.
But this rage doesn’t feel like mine. It doesn’t claim me in the same way, shaking me to my core.
A warm hand lays across on my arm, its weight boring into me more than it should. It’s comfortable and secure. A buoy thrown out into the vastness of my mind.
“You’re safe, Little Nightmare,” the first voice assures softly into my ear. “Nothing can get to you anymore.”
Something about his promise makes the ice around my heart begin to thaw.
“Don’t tell her that,” someone barks, sending my shield back up. “This happened because she’s been refusing to address her emotions.”
“It’s like a dam broke,” a female agrees hollowly. “We’ve been drowning in it for days.”
I focus on the hand that’s on my arm. That voice...it’s the only one I want to hear. Everyone else needs to leave so I can listen to him some more. Maybe he can help me out of this purgatory.
“She doesn’t need to feel anything she doesn’t want to,” my savior tells them, and I mentally bob my head in agreement.
Yeah, scram , I want to say, but my lips are like stone.
“Clearly, the past few months have caught up to her and she needs to face it—” One of the men from before argues back, but he’s cut off by a vicious growl.
“We’re in the middle of a war and she’s our best bet at winning. Do you really think it’s been beneficial to force her into this coma for...How long has it been? A week?”
I balk at that. I’ve been like this for a whole week? No way.
“She should be strengthening her body, not withering away to nothing,” the angry man continues.
“Of course, we don’t want this. We’ve tried everything to get her to wake up.”
Everything but bringing in this man who is serving as a beacon of light in my angry abyss. He sounds hot, but in the possessive, manly-man sense. If I were awake right now, he’d definitely be getting it.
Why can’t I put a face to any of these voices? Surely, they’re people I know if they care so deeply about my well-being.
“We need a healer,” hot-guy says, then his hand shifts from my arm to my forehead. “She’s burning up.”
Burning up for you , I think lamely.
The response from the others is too muffled for me to hear, and I realize that I’m falling back into the void. My arms reach out to grasp onto something and pull myself out, but there’s nothing there.
I’m falling, falling, falling until I hit the bottom and fatigue takes over.
This is fine. I’ll just take a little rest for a while and sit here with all my broken pieces.
“ S onny,” a new voice sings into the inky darkness.
This one is different from the others. I can hear it, but not in a physical sense, where the noise is filtering through my ears. Instead, it echoes throughout my mind, overtaking my thoughts.
“Sonny, are you there?” she implores in her ethereal tone.
I recognize this one. I know it better than the others, but I can’t assign a name to it.
My body responds to her cheery tone, filling me with joy and love for the first time in...God, I don’t even know how long.
They aren’t my emotions to claim, though. They’re hers. A symbol of everything she represents and everything I’ve lost.
“She won’t answer,” a second person calls out in reply. This one has a deeper, more masculine timbre with an odd accent skewing the words.
“Why not?” the woman asks.
“Because she can’t hear you,” he answers simply.
I want to scream that he’s wrong. I can hear everything they’re saying. I can feel them around me, even though I can’t see a thing. But when I open my mouth to speak, no sound comes out.
“Sonny, it’s me,” she tries again, ignoring the guy’s warning.
I like this one. She’s persistent, just like the man who came and put his hand on me before.
“Something broke her,” the guy speculates.
But the woman is quick to shoot that down.
“She’s not broken,” she insists, her tone leaving no room for argument. Feisty and sweet.
“Fine, but you can’t deny that she’s stuck,” he relents.
The woman doesn’t bother responding to his insensitive words.
“Sonny, can you hear me? I’m here with you.” I imagine someone spinning around in the darkness of my mind, a blur of red searching for me in the abyss.
I’m right here! I want to scream.
“Until the world burns, right?” she cries out.
That stirs something inside me.
And even then , I mentally finish.
But the world feels like it’s on fire and she’s no longer in it.
Wait. She’s right here, isn’t she?
Recognition hits me like a boulder in my chest.
Poppy. My Poppy. She’s finally come.
“Poppy,” I cry again, shocked that there’s sound behind my words this time.
“I’m with you,” she responds, her voice feeling closer now. My entire world explodes in pinks and purples and yellows that chase away the drab gray and black. It all passes by in clouds, until her face appears through one of them.
“Hi.” She smiles. A real smile. A Poppy smile. One that lifts her cheeks and squints her eyes and shows a little too much gums.
“Poppy,” I repeat her name in a sigh.
“I thought you were gone,” she gasps.
“I’m so lost without you.” The admission rushes out in one long string. “I can’t do this. I can’t live my life knowing I’ll never see you again.”
Her smile falters. “You see me now.”
I look around doubtfully. “I don’t even know what this is. I need you,Poppy. I need you out there, alive.”
She begins to shake her head, and tears well in my eyes. Dark blue and indigo creep into the clouds of colors—my sadness chasing away her joy.
“This is your safe space. It’s where you feel the most protected.” She reaches between us and grabs onto my hands. “But you can’t stay here much longer, Sonny. You have to get back.”
“No, I don’t want to,” I whine pathetically. “I want to stay with you.”
“I’ll see you there. I’ll visit,” she promises.
A tear glides down my cheek. I’m sure she’s right. We’ll find a way to see each other again. I don’t want to go back, though.
“They need you. He needs you,” Poppy insists, filling my mind’s eye with the faces of the people who are waiting for me out there.
But I need her. I’ve never done this without her. These past few weeks have been nothing but misery and suffering. I have nothing to look forward to out there.
Something shifts, and I’m jostled out of her grip. Poppy’s eyes go wide in panic as she extends her arms out to catch me, but I’m just out of her reach.
I’m being pulled from her.
No, no, no. I’m not done. I’ll never be done. I’ll never have enough time.
What if she doesn’t find me again?
That’s why I want to stay here.
I need time with her. Please, just a few more moments. I’ll give anything.
I open my mouth in a scream that once again has no sound as Poppy’s image grows smaller and smaller. Her colors are chased away by darkness until it’s once again covering me completely.
Someone else is holding my hand. Their skin feels different than Poppy’s had—drier and rougher. It dwarfs mine in a way that hers never could.
Sorrow cuts through me, so deep I’m sure it’s going to rip apart my chest and obliterate my heart.
My ears begin to pick up random noises. Feet pacing. Hushed whispers. A ticking clock.
All of it blends into one overstimulating hell. One that makes me want to disappear back into the darkness, to my safe space.
But something is preventing me from going back. A small thread that’s holding me in place. No, it’s tugging me upward.
When I succumb to the idea that resistance is futile, I open my eyes to find two dark orbs staring back at me from a handsome face.
“There you are,” he breathes the words out in relief.
And then chaos breaks out around us.