Chapter 25
Madi
Saturday
Hunter and Zachary had joined us at some point in the night.
I wake up surrounded by my alphas. Alric is at my back, his arm tight around my waist, keeping me pressed against him.
Zachary at my front, his soft breaths tickling my face.
Hunter is lying over my legs, his head resting in the crook of my knee, hugging my thighs.
I already miss them, relishing the sensation of being this treasured. I take a deep breath, savoring all of their scents mixing with my own. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever smelled.
There’s an ache in my chest for what’s about to happen today. I know that I’ll see them again. The thought of never doing so again tears at me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need a little bit of space now.
There’s my heat to think about, too. I need to decide what I’m going to do about that.
Am I ready to share so much of myself? I’m terrified of being out of control for so long.
Yes, I love fucking them, but having a bunch of sex over a week is not the same thing as a heat.
During mine, I’ll lose my mind and go completely feral.
I’ll have no memory of the events that transpired, having to trust that I was safe and cared for.
Which takes more blind faith than I might have in me.
They can make all the promises they want about how my heat would go, but they’ll lose their minds, too. I want to trust them, I do, but fear grips me.
It might always.
Hunter is sleeping so peacefully, I hate to wake him up, but I run my hand through his golden hair. He slowly turns his head and blinks the sleep away and I’m greeted with a groggy smile.
“I need to get up,” I whisper, hoping not to wake the others.
He nods and gently removes himself from my legs. He stands, leaning down to slowly help me up. Thankfully, Zachary and Alric stay asleep.
As Hunter starts to wake, his easy smile fades as if he’s remembering what today is. I lean on my tiptoes to kiss him, and he cups my face with heartbreakingly gentle hands, kissing me slowly, passionately. A kiss he wants me to remember him by.
As if I could ever forget him.
I want to tell him that we’ll always be friends, but I don’t want him to think that’s all I could ever offer him. It’s just all I can offer right this very second.
So instead, I say nothing and kiss him back in a way that I hope indicates how much he means to me.
When I slowly slip out of his embrace, he watches me go.
I make it back to my room, closing and locking the door. Packing only takes me twenty minutes, and by the time it’s done, I hear new voices outside.
I don’t want to meet anyone, I don’t want anyone to have to explain who I am or why I’m here, so I sit on the bed with my bags packed, waiting till the boat leaves.
Finally, there’s a knock on my door, Zachary on the other side. “We’re ready.”
He wears an incredibly fake smile, but it’s nice of him to try to make me feel better.
Hunter and Alric are already on the boat. Boat is really the wrong word, though. It’s a small yacht, Alric’s mother’s name on the side in flowing font. Hunter greets me, but Alric’s having a long conversation in Greek with the captain.
I keep my camera out so I can take photos as we pull away from the dock. Snapping a few of this beautiful island that changed my life forever. Maybe we’ll all return here one day.
Without a storm in our way, the trip takes half the time. A private car is waiting for us at the Santorini dock. As it was on the boat ride over, there’s a melancholy mood that drowns us. Hunter and Zachary sit on either side of me, our hands held tight.
Alric has barely made eye contact with me.
I don’t say anything, not wanting a conversation that might lead to some sort of manipulation or guilt. I know what they want. A pack. A bonding. A life together.
We’ve all made it very clear where we stand in this beautiful mess.
When we arrive at the small private part of the airport, I leave my stuff in the car but exit with them. When Hunter tries to take my suitcase, I put my hand on his arm, stopping him and mustering the courage to say, “I’m not flying home with you.”
His face falls and the desperation in his voice hurts my chest. “What do you mean? We have Alric’s personal jet. How else would you get home?”
“I have a flight booked in a few hours.” I turn to Alric. “If your driver is able to take me to the main part of the airport, I’d appreciate that, but if not, I can call a cab.”
“You’re flying with us,” Alric says roughly.
My heart drops at that. Why does he think he can tell me what to do?
Have I not made it abundantly obvious one of my main reasons for being reluctant to be part of a pack is that I don’t want to be controlled?
I think he realizes it at the same moment he says it, because he quickly adds, “We would all feel better if you joined us for this flight.”
“I understand that, but I need some space right now. I’m not saying that I’ll never see you all again.
I will. This isn’t a forever goodbye. This is just me needing a little time,” I say.
“I have all of your numbers. I know where all of you live. So much has happened this week, you need to give me a second to breathe.”
Hunter looks close to tears and the devastation on Zachary’s face breaks my heart. Alric’s fists are clenched and his displeasure radiates off him.
I need to see if these men will let me walk away. They say they don’t want to control me, and I’m going to let them prove it. No convincing me to stay. No begging or bribing.
Zachary speaks first. “We respect your need for time and space. We’ve said it before, but I’ll repeat it now,” he starts. “Your happiness is the most important thing to us. We’re ready for you whenever you are. We want as little or as much of you as you’re willing to give us.”
It’s exactly what I needed to hear. I rush forward, slamming against him for a hug. “Thank you,” I whisper.
Zachary holds me for a long time before he lets me go so Hunter can have his hug, too. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything. Please forgive me, babycakes.”
“I do, I promise.” And it’s the truth. If there are any alphas on this planet who’ll be the ones to convince me there are good ones out there, it’s these three. Finding out that they’re my scent matches made me finally see this.
When I turn to Alric, he’s as still as a statue. The only proof of life is a shine in his eyes. He nods at me once. “Have a safe journey home,” he says. With that, he turns and walks up the stairs of his jet, disappearing from sight.
It’s a gut punch.
My omega side takes it as rejection. But I know it’s what I deserve. I would reject me too, if I were in his shoes.