Chapter 12
Lillian
“Are you sure I’m dressed okay?”
Bryson reaches across the console of his truck to clasp my hand. “Lils, you’re fine. We’re going to a kink shop. You can literally wear anything to a store that sells sex toys and apparel.”
I thread my fingers with his and grip hard. It hurts because my hand is so much smaller than his, but it grounds me and keeps me from wringing my hands together. With my other hand, I smooth the front of my skirt.
I’m not at all certain he’s telling me the truth. In theory, he has a point, but what do I know? I’ve never been to a fetish shop. I never even considered such a thing. If my mother knew where I was going to spend my morning, she would faint.
I shake thoughts of my mother out of my head.
Simone has told me the only way to remain sane is to stop dwelling on what my parents would think about any of my current life choices.
I left home. I’m free to be me. My parents have made it clear they would not support anything about my new lifestyle, and I can’t let their opinions get in the way of my happiness.
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Freedom from their oppressive beliefs and ways has helped me lift my head. Meeting Bryson certainly hasn’t hurt, either. He makes me smile, giggle, and let loose.
I’m chewing on my bottom lip as Bryson parks the truck. I can do this. We’re not at the dentist for a tooth extraction. We’re at a kink store where I’m going to buy some things that will make me happy. Or…moan.
I fidget as Bryson rounds to my side of the truck before lifting me out and setting me on my feet. I love how he does that. I’m getting used to it. He’s lifted me out of his truck three times. But who’s counting?
Looking down at my outfit again, I take a deep breath.
I’m wearing a pastel floral pleated skirt and a white tank top.
My mother would die if she saw me. My shirt is too tiny and thin, making it impossible to fully conceal my white lace bra.
The skirt is too short. My sandals are flat.
My hair is loose and free. I don’t have any makeup on.
Ha. I giggled when I looked in the mirror this morning. I’m learning what style I like. For once in my life, I’m not trying to please anyone but me. And frankly, the outfit was totally worth every single moment of deliberation for the look on Bryson’s face when I opened the door to let him in.
I did have to grab a white sweater before we left because it’s a bit too chilly for the tank top, but I did not button it. I’m such a rebel.
The crazy thing is I’m certain Bryson doesn’t ordinarily date women who look like me.
Far from it. I’ve done a lot of research and watched a lot of videos about kink clubs.
The majority of the submissives he usually dominates probably come to him wearing black.
I suspect they have fancy corsets, tight leather skirts and pants, and platform heels.
I know there are people at Surrender who come in plain clothes. I saw them the night I visited. There are also Littles in the daycare dressed in age-play attire. But I didn’t see Littles lining up in the main part of the club waiting for a sadist to whip them.
Not that I’m stereotyping. Bryson says Littles do occasionally come to other parts of the club to use a piece of equipment, but it’s not the norm.
I hold my breath as he opens the door to the shop and leads me inside. His hand comes to the small of my back as he guides me deeper into the displays.
My eyes bug out of my head. Holy cow. This shop has everything imaginable, from clothes to sex toys to bondage equipment and everything in between.
A woman comes from behind the counter. She’s smiling. “Hey. My name’s Belinda. Let me know if there’s anything I can help you find.”
Belinda is tall and slim. She has on a deep red corset that pushes up her barely existent boobs, making them look fantastic. She’s also wearing black leather shorts and black fishnet stockings. I love that she polishes this off with white canvas sneakers.
Her eye makeup is perfectly applied and black. So is her lipstick. I love her smile. She looks comfortable in her skin and friendly.
“Thank you,” Bryson says. “We’re on the hunt for a good vibrator if you have any suggestions. Then, we’ll wander around a bit and explore.”
Belinda beams. “Happy to help.” She glances back and forth between us. “Is the vibrator for one of you or someone else?”
My heart races. I’m fascinated that she makes no assumptions.
Bryson sets his hands on my shoulders. “It’s for Lillian.”
“Excellent. I’m much better at helping women than men. Since, ya know, I am a woman.” She nods over her shoulder. “Right this way.”
I try to breathe normally, but it’s hard. This is surreal. As we follow Belinda, my only thought is don’t trip.
We round a corner, and my eyes bug out. There are at least a hundred types of vibrators on the wall.
Belinda turns toward us and claps her hands together. “So, tell me a little about what you’re looking for. Do you want something internal or more for the clit? Do you have trouble reaching orgasm and need something powerful? Or are you looking for something to enhance your play?”
My mouth goes dry. I only noticed one other person in the store, and it was a man who was looking at bondage equipment. There is no way I can answer her. I’m overwhelmed.
Luckily, I don’t have to. Bryson handles it. “I think we’ll start with something external for now. My girlfriend doesn’t have any problem reaching orgasm, so it doesn’t need to be too powerful.”
My head is spinning. For one thing, did he just refer to me as his girlfriend? I think I’m going to swoon. I know it was just something he said to refer to me easily, but I like how he said it with such conviction. Not an ounce of hesitation in his voice.
Thank goodness he’s making decisions. I certainly cannot. I bite my lip as Belinda shows us different toys, turning them on and demonstrating the settings.
My girlfriend doesn’t have any problem reaching orgasm…
I’ve had exactly one orgasm in my life. Bryson gave it to me last night. Okay, yeah, it wasn’t difficult, but I’m not sure enough data has been collected to make any rash judgments.
Bryson takes a toy from Belinda and holds it in front of me. He’s standing directly behind me again, surrounding me, his arms around me. “Touch it, baby. See what you think of the power.”
My hand is shaking badly as I reach up to touch it with one finger as though it might eat me alive if I get carried away.
“First vibrator?” Belinda asks.
I swallow. I kind of wish the floor would eat me.
Bryson answers. “Yes. Everyone has to start somewhere.”
“Definitely.” Belinda’s smile is huge. “Good for you, girl. I wish my boyfriend had taken me to buy a vibrator when I was younger. I was over thirty when I realized this sort of thing existed and found out I was kinky.” She sighs dramatically. “You are way ahead of the game.”
It’s very kind of her, and I feel less awkward. I’m only twenty-one. At least she’s not acting like I’m from outer space.
The bell over the entrance rings, and Belinda looks toward the door. “Let me see if these folks need help. Please pick up any of the display items. They’re all charged. Turn them on. Hold them. See what you like. Yell if you have any questions.”
Belinda takes off like a whirlwind, leaving me trembling.
Bryson takes the toy from my hand and puts it back on the shelf. His arms come all the way around me, and his lips come to my ear as he holds me tightly. “Relax, sweet girl. They’re just sex toys.”
“You said I was dressed fine,” I whisper. “I look like a Girl Scout.”
He chuckles. “You do not. You’re stunning.
I love this outfit. It suits you, and that’s what matters.
Don’t ever wear something to please someone else, not even me.
” He kisses my neck. “Wait, let me amend that. I might someday ask you to wear something to please me, but it won’t be in public, it won’t cover much of your body, and you can expect it won’t stay on you long. ”
I giggle before I manage to stop my outburst and cover my mouth.
“Don’t do that, either, Lils. Laugh when you feel like it. Your giggle makes my cock hard.” He reaches for another toy. It looks like the sort of thing to clean out a blocked nose with a bulb on one end and a narrow tip.
I’m confused as Bryson turns it on before lifting my hand and touching my palm with the tip.
“Oh.” It’s powerful. I’m kind of shocked by how much of a punch it packs. “What’s it for?” I whisper.
“Your clit. You hold the bulb and direct the tip to your clit. Or…I do.” He chuckles deeply, making my entire body shiver.
I grin. “Hmmm. I might like that.”
Bryson turns it off and sets it in my palm while he grabs another. This one is about the shape of a hotdog, which makes me giggle again. Good thing it’s purple. If it were hotdog color, I would cringe.
It’s longer than a hotdog, though, and when Bryson turns it on, the entire length hums to life.
“What’s that one for?” I murmur. I don’t want anyone to hear me being ignorant about sex toys. I’m also grateful that Bryson is so patient and takes the time to explain anything I ask.
“You could hold the tip against your clit, but you could also slide it inside you. Either hole.”
I gasp, my face heating as I clench my butt cheeks together. I’m not as na?ve as I was before I visited Surrender. I’ve done my research. I know people use things in their butts, but knowing that intellectually and imagining it happening to me are two different things.
“You are the most refreshing woman in the world, Lillian. I swear. I’ve never been so fucking hard in my life.” He presses his erection against my ass.
Holy cow. He’s definitely hard.
I point at the hotdog vibrator. “Based on the only evidence I have any experience with, I’d say that’s pretty small.”
He laughs. “I’m hesitant to buy you anything that goes inside you, naughty girl. But I might be willing to make an exception as long as the toy doesn’t make me look bad,” he teases.
“I don’t think there’s any fear of that,” I mutter. This toy is barely thicker than his pointer.
His lips come to my ear again, and I shiver when he speaks. “Plus, depending on how kinky you are, I can always use it in your bottom.”
I whimper. I can’t believe I would even consider such an idea. Maybe I would if the right man was holding the vibrator. And I’m starting to believe the right man is definitely holding that toy in front of me.