CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Will never liked the plan. I didn’t either. Terror coiled in me no matter how many times we went over it, no matter how carefully we laid it out. Nothing could prepare me for what I was about to do.
Aran, of course, treated it like theater—rehearsing lines, slipping into character. He was supposed to “sell” me to the club to clear his debts. I’d get inside, find Licia, and then Will would buy a night with me, then we’d make our escape. That was the plan.
Aran leaned back in his chair, smirking. “So I lose the game, act all desperate, and go, ‘Oh no, please sir, I’ll do anything!’”
He grinned at his own performance.
I rolled my eyes, the fear in my chest burning sharper.
“You don’t have to enjoy it.”
“You’d rather I cry? Or maybe I should brood, like he’s been all day?” He jerked his head toward Will.
I hated when he had a point. If Aran was good at anything, it was making a shitty situation seem less shitty. Will, on the other hand, wore his dread plain as day.
When Aran left for the club to start phase one of the plan—“losing his bets”—I stayed behind in the hotel lounge.
Kalani lay curled up on the white linen sofa beside me, silent and lost in her own storm.
Across from us, in the armchair opposite, sat Will.
He wouldn’t look at me, but I couldn’t stop looking at him as fire crackled softly in the hearth.
I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to walk into that mansion.
I wanted to stay right there, press my face into his chest, and forget everything else.
But I couldn’t, and he knew that. And still, he gave me the silent treatment.
It felt like your parent saying I’m not angry, just disappointed. As if those words hurt less.
“Will…” I whispered.
His jaw tensed but he didn’t look up. “I’m not discussing this anymore.”
“Yes, we are.” I sat up straighter. “We have to talk about it.”
“This plan is reckless,” he said, his voice cracking. “What if something happens to you? What if they—” He stopped himself. He didn’t have to finish, I knew what he was thinking.
“They’re not going to touch me.”
“You don’t know that,” he snapped, louder. “You have no idea what happens in places like that.” He ran a hand through his hair, trembling. “I do. I’ve seen it now Kera. And I can’t unsee it.”
“I can handle it,” I said.
“Handle it?” he shot back. “Do you even hear yourself?”
He pushed to his feet, shaking his head like he could throw the images out. I stood too, heat rushing through me, and closed the space between us. Anger bubbled sharp in my chest.
“You think I don’t know that?” My voice rose with it. “You think I haven’t played every horrible thing that could happen over and over in my head? But I have to do this. What’s the other option? Leaving her in there? In the ’Hel’ you can’t even speak of. Do you hear yourself?”
“And then what?” he asked. “You walk in there, grab her hand, and walk out? That’s the plan? They won’t let you leave. I don’t know how you got Aran to agree to this, or think it’s a good plan, but you’re all delusional.”
I stepped closer, heat rising in my chest. “You think I want to do this? I know exactly what’s at stake. I know what I’m risking. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not leaving her.”
“You’re gonna get yourself killed,” he shouted.
“Then let me die doing something that matters!” I shouted right back. The words ripped out of me, raw and loud, my voice cracking as my chest heaved. “She’d do the same for me, I know she would,” I said, quieter. “Can we just not fight about this?” I asked. “Please? I need you on my side.”
Will’s face crumpled for a heartbeat before he shoved it all back down.
“I will always be on your side, but Kera…” His voice was hoarse.
“Licia didn’t even recognize us. She… She looked like the girls in the theater.
That same blank, empty stare. Like she wasn’t even in there anymore.
” He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head.
“I don’t know what being in such a place does to a person,” he said. “But I don’t want it happening to you.”
“Well,” I said. “I understand that.” I had to force myself to meet his eyes, even though it hurt. “And I’m sorry that I have to do this.”
“I can’t stand by and watch this happen,” he said, voice low and rough.
“Will, please—”
“No.” His voice lashed out, sharp and final. “I’m going to bed.”
He didn’t slam the door on his way out. Didn’t even say goodbye, he just walked away. And somehow, that was worse.
The tears that had been burning behind my eyes finally spilled over. I squeezed my fists tight against my sides, but it didn’t help.
“What are you waiting for?”
I blinked, and turned.
Kalani sat on the sofa, staring.
“I…” My throat closed up. I didn’t even know what I was trying to say.
“Go get your man,” she said.
A soft huff of laughter escaped me, and I wiped at my cheeks, tasting the salt on my lips. My heart hammered against my ribs and part of me wanted to sink down onto the floor and never get up again. But another part, the part of me that refused to let go, made my feet move.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, barely getting the words out.
The hallway was dim, narrow, and too still, lit only by the flicker of a single oil sconce casting long shadows across the worn wooden floorboards. I saw his back, the white shirt and the leather vest.
“Will—please.” My voice cracked. “Don’t.”
He stopped as his hand rested on the handle of the door to his room.
“This could be the last time I see you,” I said. “Don’t do this.”
Slowly, he turned. His face was in shadow, but I saw the mess of emotion in his eyes anyway. Grief, guilt, fear.
“How am I supposed to be okay with that, Kera? How am I supposed to be okay with possibly never seeing you again? You keep talking about Licia. But what about me? I can’t lose you again.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t. But you can’t ask me to leave her in there!”
“I’m not. We’ll come up with a better plan!” he tried.
“There’s no other plan! And there’s no time.” I argued. ”We’ve already left her in there for almost a week.”
“And what if they break you?”
“They won’t. I’m not a little girl anymore,” I continued.
He looked at me, and I saw something in him shatter. It was like he could see them. All the invisible scars, all the wounds that never closed inside me.
“Do you know what they did to that little girl?” I added.
”They butchered her, Will. Left her for dead, bleeding out on the floor as they set her house on fire.
” I paused. Took a breath. Swallowed the pain and the rage like I had so many times before.
“But they didn’t break me. And this? This won’t either.
” I swallowed hard. My hands were shaking.
“I’m not yours to save, Will,” I said. “I never was.”
“Then what do you need me for? I feel so fucking helpless.”
“I just need you to be Will,” I whispered, stepping forward and reaching for his hand. “I want us to be like we were. I miss the old us. I miss the old you.”
He looked down at my hand holding his. “I’m scared I’ll hurt you,” he said. “I know what you’ve been through. I know, Kera. And I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong. That I’ll make it worse.”
“You won’t,” I said, stepping closer until there was barely space between us. “I’m more than what happened to me.”
He gently stroked his thumb along my hand. “I don’t want to mess things up.”
“I’m scared too,” I whispered. “But it doesn’t matter. Because when I’m with you, nothing else does.” My voice broke. “That’s what I need, Will. I need you to make me forget everything else.”
“What if I ruin everything?” he whispered. “What if I ruin you?”
My heart was pounding so hard it hurt. I grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him down to me, close enough to steal his breath.
His eyes flicked to my mouth, then back up, and gods, the look in them. Fear. Hunger. Like he wanted me and didn’t know if he was allowed to.
I was already falling. Already his. Drowning in the ocean of him and not even fighting it, and I needed him to feel it.
Everything.
The ache. The want. The storm inside me that had nowhere else to go.
“Then ruin me,” I breathed.
And he kissed me.
He kissed me.
Hard.
Like he’d been holding back forever and finally broke. Like it physically hurt to wait even one second longer.
My hand slid into his hair, tangled there, pulled just enough to make him gasp against my mouth. He pressed into me, all fire and need, and I didn’t hold back.
I kissed him like I was starving, and time unraveled around us. There was no past. No present. No future.
Just him.
His mouth was fevered against mine, all sharp edges and aching need. He tasted like whiskey and salt and everything I thought I’d lost. The kiss wasn’t soft, it wasn’t careful. I kissed him back hard, my fingers gripping his shirt, trying to pull him closer, closer, closer.
I needed to feel him, needed to know that it was real. I reached for the door handle, fumbling with it, but Will caught my hand.
His fingers curled around mine. He didn’t say anything, just tugged me toward him again, and we stumbled inside.
The door slammed shut behind us. In the low light of the room, we were already on each other, tangled up and breathless. His arms wrapped around my waist, my hands pulling at his shirt, sliding up the warm skin underneath.
I couldn’t think, could barely stand. I just wanted more. I wanted all of him.
The last pink light of the sunset spilled into the room, washing everything in a warm, hazy glow. And just outside, the waves crashed against the shore. I slipped my hands up his chest, finding the buttons of his shirt. My fingers shook, but I didn’t stop.
He caught my wrists gently.
“Wait… are you sure?“ he asked, looking at me with those perfect baby blues of his.
I loved him for asking.
I slid the straps of my dress off my shoulders, and let the dress fall, and pool at my feet.