Chapter 48
SELENA
The doctor finally clears me and I’m ready to play in my first game since the concussion. It was supposed to be an away game, but the other team’s city is experiencing serious lightning storms, which means, we get to play at home.
Since we’ve already clinched our division and will have a bye week when playoffs start, this is the perfect game to ease back into competition. There’s literally no pressure.
I feel good though. No pain, no worries. Stitches are gone too.
Jess and Letty said the cut along my temple freaked them out and I don’t blame them. It looked bad. Sammy has never liked the sight of blood, so he was no help. Grayson stepped up though. Honestly, he’s gone above and beyond, surprising me in the best way.
I could’ve gone to the team doctor but Grayson insisted he could do it. His large, powerful hands were gentle and precise. He cleaned the area twice a day; washing and bandaging it.
That was the only time he touched me, when it was absolutely necessary. Otherwise, he’s almost cold and distant. I don’t get it. If he doesn’t want to be here with me, why is he still here? And if he wants to be here with me, why does it seem like doesn’t want to be?
I’ve caught him looking at me more than once. I wish I knew what he was thinking. The fact he’s stayed over every night since I left the hospital, sleeping on the chair, the floor, the couch—never in my bed even though I offered—just to make sure I was okay?
Overthinking is my curse, but I’m not overthinking here, am I? His being here means something, doesn’t it? I mean, he called me beautiful and bought me books!
Grayson said we’d talk after the doctor cleared me. Unfortunately it ends up happening on a day he and the baseball team are in Florida for Game 2 of the College Baseball Championship.
It’s a best-of-three series. If they win this game, it’s over, Lions are champions! If they lose, they fly back home and play Game 3 here at TLU.
I’m excited for him. And my brother and the guys.
But honestly, I miss him. I know I shouldn’t.
I should wait until we talk and figure out what this thing between us is.
I can’t help it though. I mean, today’s the first morning I woke up and Grayson Rhodes wasn’t in my room.
It felt so strange and lonely and just plain wrong. I had to text him.
Selena
good morning!
Grayson
Morning, princess.
Butterflies swirl in my stomach as I smile at my phone. Princess means something, right?
Selena
good luck today
Grayson
Thank you. How do you feel?
My smile grows wider.
Selena
good
btw got cleared today!
The three dots appear. Then, disappear. Then, reappear.
Grayson
Are you starting?
Selena
yup
you said we’d talk once the doctor cleared me…
I don’t know why I’m holding my breath. He’s not here, he can’t see me, but I’m nervous.
Grayson
We will. When I get back.
They’re not flying back until tomorrow. I deflate a little, disappointment crushing those butterflies.
Grayson
Do me a favor and go easy on yourself today. It’s not a must-win game.
Selena
no promises
Grayson
Selena.
I can almost hear that growly voice of his. The butterflies take off.
Grayson
Please take care of yourself. We’ll talk soon.
I sigh and put my phone away. Maybe this isn’t what I think it can be.
After all, he’s been a complete gentleman the whole time.
He hasn’t touched me in anyway that could be mistaken for something else, something more.
One night he helped with a bath, getting the water ready, helping me undress, his eyes always on mine, never wandering anywhere else.
Grayson even insisted on washing my hair.
He was so careful, not wanting to get the bandage around my temple wet.
As he lathered shampoo into my hair, I shut my eyes.
It was the first time since the concussion that I felt like myself again.
There was no pain, no headache, just Grayson’s unexpected tenderness.
Things are different between us and yet they remain the same. It’s strange. Even Jess has been nicer to him.
“If you like him, I like him,” she states flatly. “Because no one does what he’s doing for funsies.”
“The boy wants you,” Letty adds, “so you need to figure out if you want him?”
It’s such a simple question without an easy answer. I’m attracted to him, that much is true, but I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m not even sure if he’s interested in one. Guess I won’t know until he gets back and we talk.
We’ve played a solid game even though it ended in a draw, 0-0. I felt good out there, like no time had passed.
I bodied up without fear—it was something I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do. Getting hit so hard, I blacked out? Having a concussion and being out for two weeks? I think it would rattle anyone. But I was okay. I am okay.
When Coach subbed me out in the 77th minute and the crowd and my teammates clapped and cheered for me, I got choked up. My eyes were watery when it hit me: this is my last home game as a TLU Lion.
I wish my brother was here. My parents have never been to one of my games. I understand though, flights up here are expensive and I know they can’t miss work.
I also wish Grayson could’ve been here too…
Once the ref blows the whistle, we celebrate on the pitch. Any season that ends with your team ranked number one must be celebrated. Many parents join their players on the field and that old familiar ache grips my heart.
Neither of my parents can be here. A part of me understands, another part wants to cry.
I know how hard my parents work. I know Papá took on extra shifts to pay for my soccer club. I know Mamá never bought herself the fancy shoes and dresses she often admired to buy my cleats and uniforms. I know and appreciate and will be eternally grateful for their sacrifice.
Wishing for them to be here on top of all that? It’s selfish, I know. Wanting to share moments like this with them? Not possible, I get it. Still, it hurts.
Jess must know what I’m thinking because she wraps her arms around me.
“Ahora que, cabrona?” she smiles, leading me toward the locker rooms.
“Nada. Just thinking,” I sigh, stopping by the bench to grab my backpack. “That was the last regular season game we’ll ever play together.”
“Bitch, don’t make me cry!”
My eyes are already full of tears.
“Fuck being sad, we’re gonna celebrate! Where do you wanna—”
“Jessie?”
Both Jess and I turn to see her mom, Ms Ochoa walking towards us.
“Mami!” Jess cries and runs over to hug her. “Oh my god, what are you doing here?! Cuando llegaste?”
They’re talking and crying and I’m wiping tears from my eyes as I watch them.
“Selena?”
I turn and can’t believe I’m seeing what I’m seeing. Or rather who.
“Mamá! Papá!” I throw myself at them and they wrap me up in their arms. I’m laughing and crying. I can’t believe they’re here!
After my head, cheek and temple have been inspected thoroughly, both my parents are satisfied that I’m actually okay.
But every time Mamá glances at the small bandage on my temple, she shakes her head.
Doesn’t matter that I’ve assured her many times that it doesn’t hurt anymore, she’s disappointed.
With who? Who knows?! The girl who elbowed me? The doctor? Me? I’m not even sure.
While we’re having lunch, I learn that Sammy’s the reason our parents and Jess’s mom are here. Apparently, he sent them round trip tickets for today.
“Where did Sammy get the money?” Jess whispers.
I wonder the same thing as we eat at La Cocina Verde in Tower Lake Village. I’ve never been, but Trevor’s always going on and on about the food.
Samuel
we blewvit
I got the school update a few minutes ago. The guys lost. The series is tied 1-1, so they’ll play a third and final game in two days.
Selena
I’m sorry
you’ll win at home, surrounded by all your fans! *heart emoji*
Samuel
I guess
on plane. I text when we land
Selena
thought you were arriving tomorrow?
Samuel
no on e wants to be here bro
No, I guess I wouldn’t want to be there either. I text Grayson. He wasn’t scheduled to pitch, but I figure a quick ‘u ok?’ won’t hurt. He doesn’t reply.
Jess and I walk around campus with our parents. We show them everything we can. Where we work. Our favorite buildings. The places we like to study. All of it.
“Did you ask Sammy?” Jess whispers as we all head into our apartment. “Because that fool’s as broke as we are. And I want to know how much I owe him for mom’s ticket.”
That’s when I know. I reach for my phone to send another text, but I stop myself.
Grayson still hasn’t replied to my earlier message.
I don’t know if he will. Besides, I’ll have to deal with that later, right now I’m a little overwhelmed by seeing Mamá y Papá standing in my living room.
They’ve only seen my place in pictures and video.
“Que lindo!” Ms Ochoa exclaims.
“Todo está limpio y en orden,” Mamá adds with a quick nod.
“Te enseno mi cuarto!” Jess cries, tugging her mom into her room.
I take the opportunity to show off my room, too.
I can see Mamá judging and I’m ten years old again.
Unlike then, I can tell she approves. If she didn’t she would say so.
And if she said something, I think I’d be okay with it.
Of course I still care what she thinks, but it doesn’t have a hold over me like when I lived at home.
Papá inspects the shelves he walked me through via FaceTime two years ago. He looks impressed with my handiwork and gives me a thumbs up.
That’s when Mamá walks towards my desk. All I can see is Grayson’s hoodie tossed over the back of the chair.
I almost asked him to wear it the other night so it would smell like him again.
There’s no way Mamá walks past without commenting and asking why it’s thrown haphazardly on the back of the chair like that.
She picks it up. I hold my breath. When she starts to fold it, I exhale.
“Es de Sammy?” she asks with a little smile, but just as quickly her expression morphs into the complete opposite. Her frown deepens when she turns the hoodie around. “Quién es este Rhodes?”
Oh no. I can’t lie. She always knows when I’m lying.
“Un amigo,” I say as casually as possible and I mentally order myself not to blush.
“Un amigo?”
“Si.”
I mean it’s kind of true. Okay, maybe it’s not. He’s definitely more than just a friend. What, I don’t know yet.
“Jessie! No lo puedo creer!”
I run out into the living room, secretly thanking Ms Ochoa for the interruption. She hurries past me into my bedroom.
“What happened?” I ask Jess.
Jess is barely keeping it together, she’s about to bust up laughing. “She walked into my room and was speechless!”
“This whole time?”
“Yup.”
Ms Ochoa drags Mamá into Jess’s room.
“Ay no, Jessica! No lo puedo creer!” Mamá exclaims, horrified.
Then we’re both giggling as Jess explains it’s not messy, it’s organized chaos. I forgot her room is overflowing with clothes!
I tell them Jess sells most of that, trying to help, but it’s no use, they’re busy folding and piling and hanging blouses and skirts and dresses.
“That’s fine,” Jess laughs, waving it all away. “It’ll make them happy to clean up.”
“You never let me clean up your room.”
Jess shrugs as she makes her way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Papá clears his throat.
“Mija, a question please,” he says, waving Grayson’s hoodie. Unlike Mamá, who’s shy speaking English around us, Papá doesn’t care about his thick accent. “Who is your amiguito?”
“Papá,” I groan, blushing when he smiles at me.
“You told them?!” Jess gasps.
“She did not tell us, no,” he says, his brown eyes dancing with mischief. He looks so much like Sammy right now.
“I was cold and Grayson let me borrow his sweater,” I reply. It’s mostly the truth.
Shuffling at the door has us all looking at it. Then comes the banging.
“Selena, Jess, open up! I gotta pee!” someone yells from the other side.
Jess rushes over, but Papá is closer, so he unlocks the door.
Sammy’s expression is priceless. Surprise and shock, then overwhelming joy! I suppose that’s how I looked earlier on the pitch.
“Dad!” he cries, rushing to embrace Papá. Sammy lifts him up in a bone-crushing hug.
“Dude, put him down, you’re gonna hurt him!”
“He cannot hurt me,” Papá winks at me. “I am too strong.”
“Where’s mom?”
“In my room,” Jess replies and follows Sammy towards the bedroom containing our angry moms furiously cleaning up.
There’s a gentle tapping at the open door. It’s Grayson. White, long-sleeve Lions t-shirt, dark gray shorts, and backwards green baseball cap. My heart leaps in my chest.
Something unspoken passes between us. He looks as nervous as I feel.
“Hey,” he says, giving me a lopsided, one-dimpled smile.
“Hey,” I rasp, swallowing to clear my throat. Someone pulls the floor from under my feet and I don’t know where it’s safe to step.
“Hey,” Papá adds and I snap out of whatever trance Grayson managed to put me under.
Don’t blush, Selena. Don’t blush.
“Papá, this is Grayson Rhodes. Grayson, this is my dad.”
“Ah,” Papá nods knowingly, “este es el amiguito.”