Chapter 18
Upon wakingon this Tuesday morning, two things trouble me. First, a pounding headache hammers my temples. Second, the sensation my bed has become disproportionately vast, far too large for my single bed. I crack open my eyelids, my eyes sting from the bright sunlight. The shutters are open, contrasting with the beige curtains.
It takes a few moments for my memory to recall the events of the previous night. My tears. My memories. The headache now makes sense: I spent half the night crying in Corentin”s arms. The exact duration of my episode eludes me, but he stayed by my side, not abandoning me for a single second. Eventually, he led me to his room, and I pleaded with him not to leave me alone. He assured me he would stay, and we lay down on his bed.
I sit up cautiously, my head spinning. Corentin”s room is minimalist; the white walls bear no traces of personalization. On his bedside table, there”s a photo of us together, and my gaze shifts to the alarm clock. It reads ten in the morning; I”ve not gotten up this late before. If I were still working for Cécile, it would have been catastrophic. Fortunately, that”s not the case, and I can allow myself this little respite.
A heavy silence dominates the apartment. Corentin is probably already gone to work. A sigh escapes me. I”m not yet ready to confront him after what happened yesterday. I extricate myself from the duvet, a faint smile forming on my face, despite my mood being far from upbeat.
I can”t believe I cracked like this in front of Corentin. Usually, I manage to keep control and conceal my emotions. What came over me to lose my temper like that? Perhaps the fact he mentioned my father, insinuating I was making it all up. I wanted, for once, to believe it wasn”t only in my head and I wasn”t the sole problem. Of course, it is the case, but I hold my father responsible for shattering my innocence with his words.
Guilt and shame overwhelm me when I realize I don”t dare to be completely honest with my loved ones. They deserve to know the truth, but I lack the courage to talk to them about it. Embarrassment holds me back, forcing me into silence. The girls seem to have present and attentive fathers, which is far from my case. It”s hard to admit our father abandoned us, even if it seems to be an increasingly common pattern. Men have this unfortunate habit of fathering children and then disappearing, leaving mothers to shoulder the responsibility and blame for their departure.
How ironic.
I rub my eyes, then get out of bed. The delicious smell of warm croissants guides me into the kitchen. There, I discover a note on the counter, next to some pastries and a bottle of orange juice. I take the paper, dedicated to my attention.
I left you some pastries; take a rest. Send me a message when you wake up.
P.S. You are the best person I could have ever met. Thank you for existing and making my life so much better.
My smile widens, and my heart fills with warmth. He”s doing this to please me, but it still does wonders for my mood. I take what he bought me and leave the apartment. In the stairwell, I retrieve my phone tucked between my breasts.
Me: I woke up. Thanks for breakfast.
While I bite into a croissant, Corentin replies.
Corentin: You”re welcome. Would you like to meet up for a meal? I”m having lunch with Jackie, and she would like to meet you.
I can”t hide my surprise. This is perfect. In spite of having already met her, it will be an official introduction. Corentin wants me to meet the woman he considers his mother. I”m going to meet Jackie.
Me: Perfect, I”ll be there. What time?
Corentin: 12 pm.
I enter my apartment, determined to be on time. I sit at the table when I hear the door to my room open. Manille makes her entrance, seemingly more awake than me. She taps on her phone, but her smile brightens when she notices me. Her detective mode is activated, and I feel like I”m in for some fun. I note the irony.
“Hey, beauty.”
“Hi, Matip.”
I furrow my brow. “You”re calling me by my last name? I have a feeling the situation is serious.”
“Checking if you still use Matip or Thomas.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”
She approaches me and plants a kiss on my cheeks. We observe each other for a moment, and she examines me from head to toe. She doesn”t say anything, and of course, I do the same. By mutual agreement, we sit down, and she steals a pain au chocolat from me.
It”s then she whispers softly. “You didn”t sleep here. So, how was your night?”
If she only knew. Nothing exciting, contrary to what she seems to hope. Her eyes sparkle with anticipation, but she will quickly be disappointed.
“Terrible.”
“Is he not good in bed? I”m so disappointed. I hoped he knew how to handle what he has between his legs.”
I burst out laughing. “You”re such a pervert. Nothing happened. We watched a movie and fell asleep.”
But before that, I discussed my relationship with my father, and I cried until I was out of breath. Not particularly alluring. Her lips form a slight pout, her nose scrunches up, and her brows draw together as she glances away with a hint of disgust. I chuckle to myself. There won”t be any juicy story to tell. Anyway, there”s nothing juicy to tell. Corentin and I, it”s a story of friendship, period. She shouldn”t try to push it further because nothing will ever happen.
Never say never. My subconscious laughs at me.
“That”s lame! Why did you guys leave to watch a movie? You could have done it here. I know we don”t have a flat screen, but the vibe is good.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You talk about vibe, but you were unbearable the whole time. We can”t play with you without you complaining.”
“You were all over me, it was enough to drive anyone crazy. Anyway, if you”re not happy, it”s not my problem. You know how I am, so stop suggesting playing.”
I raise an eyebrow, showing my skepticism. “If we do, you”ll complain.”
She shrugs. “Anyway, we weren”t talking about that. If I understand correctly, Thomas and you decided not to play mommy and daddy.”
I roll my eyes.
“Anyway, Thomas is less cold than I would have thought. He”s a good guy.”
“I”m glad you”re getting to know him too. I think he enjoys seeing something other than my face all the time.”
“Still glad he likes us. We”re amazing, darling.”
I admire her self-confidence. She”s so sure of herself, harbors no doubts. I don”t know how she does it, but sometimes I envy her. Even with Corentin, as soon as she decided to give him a chance, they immediately got along. She shows no fear of bothering or anything. Manille lives her life the way she wants.
We continue our breakfast quietly when I decide to get ready for the meeting with Corentin and Jackie. There”s no way I”m going to be late; I care too much about showing him a good image. Despite the atmosphere not being great right now, I want to make a little effort. The weather is nice, so I might as well take advantage before the rain comes back.
As I approach my room, Charlotte comes out, wearing an oversized T-shirt. Her eyes sparkle with anticipation, but I beat her to it.
“Manille already asked me the question, and we watched a movie.”
I am surprisingly accommodating toward them, my stance clear about the closure of the subject of Corentin and me. Deep down, I think even I see things differently since the kiss. I want to forget, but I know it won”t be so easy, maintaining my position in telling Corentin this topic should not be discussed.
My friend nods and heads toward the decorator in the living room. With my headphones in my ears, I mentally prepare myself by listening to One Direction to find the motivation I lack. I choose a pink lace dress with short sleeves, wedge-heeled sandals to lengthen my figure, and add some subtle jewelry to finish off the outfit. I take Manille”s small white bag and go out to ask for her permission. But before entering the living room, a conversation reaches my ears, hidden behind the wall.
“Is it your brother again?” Charlotte whispers, clearly annoyed.
Manille sighs and replies, but I can”t hear anything. What follows is Charlotte”s bitter laugh.
“You better not give him anything.”
“I”d like to see you in my place. What do you want me to do?”
“Leave him. He”s become uncontrollable, Manille,” Charlotte impatiently says.
“Easy, I don”t want Florence to know.”
Charlotte speaks again. “Manille, please.”
“He wants things to get better.”
I can hear Charlotte growl. I feel guilty for spying on them like this, but I can”t leave now. Manille”s voice trembles, filled with sadness and fear. Charlotte, on the other hand, clearly expresses her displeasure. She is not happy with the situation, and I don”t understand anything about their story.
Charlotte chuckles sinisterly. “And you believe him?”
“Why not? People can change.”
“Yes, except he tells you he”ll change constantly, and you fall into his trap.”
“What if this time, he meant it? After all, he”s my brother. I have to be there for him.”
“Manille, it”s all the time the same story. He makes you feel guilty, then he claims to want to get better, all to go get his drugs. You can”t help someone who doesn”t want to be helped.”
“You”re in a good position to talk about family when yours is perfect. We don”t all have the same luck, I remind you. You should understand I want what”s best for him.”
“I do, but you should also recognize I worry about our safety. I don”t want him to threaten you. Imagine if he attacked Florence one day. She could not face the situation, neither could any of us. I care about you.”
A heavy silence settles in the apartment. In my head, everything is confused as I try to understand what”s going on. When Manille”s voice resumes, my heart tightens.
“I won”t let him get close to you. I”ll keep you away from all of this, I promise. I won”t involve you anymore.”
“Manille—” I can feel she wants to say more but gives it up. “Take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
“The police still not an option?”
“I won”t abandon him again.”
Charlotte sighs but says nothing more. I walk away without making a sound, still reeling from what I heard. I can”t figure out what shocks me more, the fact Manille”s brother is dangerous or her continued assistance despite everything he seems to be putting her through.
Certainly, he”s her biological brother. She rarely mentions him, and I understand why now. In her conversations, she consistently brings up her adoptive family, referring to her older brother Thomas and her younger sister Emilie. But this man is a subject she wants to hide at all costs, probably to avoid our reactions like Charlotte”s. With Manille”s bag on my shoulder, I leave the apartment, a sudden idea germinating in my mind.
What if the man who attacked Manille is her brother?
I leave the building. The afternoon stretches gently through the streets of Paris, offering an idyllic picture of a city embraced by the emerging spring. The cobbled streets sparkle in the golden rays of the sun, and the blooming trees release their sweet scent into the light air. The café terraces are lively with Parisians and tourists savoring this moment.
Yet, in the midst of this idyllic scene, my thoughts are in constant turmoil. I stroll along the avenue, the majestic Champs-élysées, but I can”t help but feel lost, lost in a labyrinth of concerns.
The passersby parade, all unaware of the storm raging within me. The luxury shop windows only reflect my own internal chaos. My mind swirls, my emotions are boiling, and I am haunted by the words I overheard between Manille and Charlotte.
The restaurant finally appears in front of me, an oasis of calm and elegance in the midst of this tumult. The white tablecloths and polished wooden chairs evoke a gentle promise of respite. Yet, as I approach, my dismay intensifies. Unresolved questions, buried secrets, all weigh on my shoulders like an unbearable burden.
When I finally see them, Corentin and Jackie, their kindness and warmth contrast cruelly with the storm raging within me. My heart tightens, and doubts assail me, mysteries oppress me, but I choose, for now, to suspend them.
“Hi!” I exclaim joyfully when I join them.
Corentin opens his arms, and I rush into his embrace. He envelops me, protecting me like the lifebuoy he is for me. My eyes close, and I think back to yesterday, how much he was there for me. His head gently rests on the top of mine, and he places a kiss on my forehead.
“Are you okay?”
I nod, and it seems to be enough for both of us. We reluctantly separate, and I meet Jackie”s gaze. Her eyes shine with kindness, but I sense something deeper I can”t understand. I approach her, not knowing what to do, when her arms come around me.
“Hello, Florence. You”re not late as Corentin thought you might be. You see Corentin, you should not underestimate a woman. We”re unpredictable.”
“Hello Jackie. I like to surprise.”
“I can see that. We”ve known each other for a year, and you”ve been on time only five times. Should I expect you to be on time all the time?”
“Definitely not.”
Jackie lets out a little laugh, lightening the weight on my shoulders a bit. I decide not to focus on my roommates, my father, or even my worries. Right now, I plan to enjoy this afternoon, and I think that”ll be enough.
We sit at our table, and Corentin takes a seat beside me, while Jackie sits across from us. We order a glass of red wine each while waiting to choose a dish. I place the menu on the table as they continue to examine the menu.
“There are snails; I think I”ll have that,” Jackie declares. “Florence, do you want to try?”
A ball forms in my stomach, and shivers run through me. I put a hand on my mouth to hold back a non-existent vomit. Yes, my brain is not the only one reacting excessively; it”s also my body.
“Jackie, I think you have your answer,” Corentin says impassively.
“I can see. Have you not tasted snails?”
I shake my head. “Never, and I don”t intend to. I prefer to see them come out when it rains; humans should have done the same because it”s pointless.”
“We agree,” Corentin adds.
Jackie”s hand connects with his shoulder in a firm tap, her brows furrowing slightly. Despite her serious demeanor, a small smile plays at the corner of her lips, revealing that she”s not truly bothered by our childish behavior. It”s clear she”s not annoyed by our antics.
“You”ve eaten a lot of them, and I”ve not heard you complain.”
I turn to Corentin, mouth wide open. I completely dissociate myself from him, even removing his arm from my shoulders, but he doesn”t let me and pulls me closer.
“My father demanded I stay at the table until I ate his food, otherwise, I wasn”t allowed ice cream for dessert. I was a prisoner.”
I smile imagining a young Corentin, forced to eat snails to have ice cream. I”ll have to ask him if he has any childhood photos. It would be great if I could see them. When the waiter returns to take our order, I tell him what I want, and only Jackie orders snails. She takes the opportunity to powder her nose, and Corentin pulls his chair closer to mine. Without hesitation, my legs intertwine with his, and with his thumb, he strokes my neck.
“Thanks for yesterday.”
No need to say more. I know he understands. He keeps his attention on his phone while kissing my forehead. I shiver, reassured.
“Don”t be, I crossed the line. Next time, hit me, okay? I shouldn”t have insisted so much when you weren”t ready to talk about it.”
I nod before smiling like an idiot. He”s perfect, his warmth, everything about him calls to me, and I”m amazed at the desire to stay in his arms forever. Let him keep me against him because it”s the only place where I feel good and free from all my chains. I still have his scent on me, on my skin, in my hair, around my heart. Everything is impregnated with his presence.
Is this normal, what”s happening? Is this how friends behave? I doubt it, but on the other hand, I can”t see Corentin as anything more than a friend. I wouldn”t deserve a man like him. I don”t need to ask myself more questions because Jackie is back. At this moment, the waiter brings our dishes.
“Jackie, I have a question: How did you come to know Thomas”s family?”
Corentin eats, but I know he, like me, is focused on the question.
“I was Alexandra”s friend, Corentin”s mother. At a point in my life, I needed a lawyer, and Marie introduced me to Edward Thomas. After he was kind enough to offer me his help, I wanted to do the same when Marie left. I had to help her manage the kids and the house for a few weeks. And then, weeks turned into months, and months into a year.”
I nod. Sincerity resonates in her voice. She clearly loves her job, and it”s evident it”s not the only reason she stayed. She genuinely loves this family, and everything they”ve been through, she has remained loyal to them. I wonder what happened with Marie for her to leave and how this marked Corentin. What happened for him to be so cynical half the time?
“You loved us from the beginning.”
“Of course, you are my pearls. Even your idiotic father.”
“I wonder how you managed to put up with him.”
She gazes upward, seemingly unable to figure out how it was possible.
“You know as well as I do, he didn”t used to be like this.”
There is a silence, and I feel the subject is delicate. Corentin sours a bit, but he quickly regains his composure, as if he”s used to all this. For once, it”s my turn to comfort him, and I place my hand on his thigh. He understands my gesture, relaxes while putting his arm around my back. It turns out I”m not the only one in need of emotional support. I plant a kiss on his cheek, my heart pounding. He shivers but says nothing.
“I”m glad you”re here, Florence. I was afraid you would refuse,” he whispers in my ear.
“Never, and I”m glad to get out of my house to do something other than work. Your sister”s wedding takes up a big part of my life.”
Jackie is thrilled to the core at the mention of the word wedding.
“I still can”t believe my Clara is getting married. I”m sure she”ll be in good hands with you to prepare everything.”
“That”s clear. Clara would be too messy to handle it, and Naisha won”t stand doing everything.”
Jackie laughs. I understand Clara is precisely as I imagined her. A ball of smiling energy, but also a woman with a disorderly nature. The complete opposite of me, like Corentin, by the way. We can”t stand disorderly people, and I wonder how their childhood could have been marked by it. They are truly the yin and yang of the family. I wonder how Jackie managed them.
“How did you manage to put up with them?”
She shrugs. “I don”t know either, but well. What would I do without my children around me?”
“We don”t know what we would do without you. We would be lost.”
She puts her hand on her heart, touched. It”s clear, Jackie is not there only for her paycheck at the end of the month. She cares about her family. Because yes, they are her family, and they don”t need to have the same blood for that.
The rest of the meal goes by quietly, and I savor this moment of lightness. It allows me to think about something else after this horrible evening. A moment of peace away from everything. When it comes time to pay, Corentin doesn”t give me a choice and gets up to settle the bill. Alone with Jackie, she approaches me, a broad smile on her lips.
“Florence, happy to welcome you to the family. You”ll see, they”re not quite easy, but I love them anyway.”
I smile because that”s exactly what I needed to hear.