Chapter 22
When I wakeup this morning, I have a headache. Lying in my bed, I stare at the wall covered with sparkling stars. I get up and check the clock. It”s already ten o”clock.
A sigh of exasperation escapes me as I try to untangle the tangled threads of my day. My thoughts instantly turn to him. After my discussion with the girls, we decided to watch a Marvel movie to change our minds and help me forget about Corentin, at least for a few hours. I leave my comforter, grab my laptop, and head to the living room to start my workday. A steaming coffee accompanies my steps.
I am torn between anger and pain. Corentin hurt me. He didn”t once consider my feelings, and he simply stabbed me in the heart. After all I confided in him about my father, he knew how complicated things were for me, but he chose to be hurtful and insensitive. I still can”t believe he could say such things to me.
I sip my coffee when I hear someone ringing the doorbell. I straighten up abruptly and close my computer. I approach the door and glance through the peephole. My heart does a perilous leap when I see Corentin.
He”s here!
Although I”m glad to see him, the words he said yesterday keep looping in my head. My expression freezes. I”m not as eager to see him now. I open the door, and he gazes at me, appearing distressed.
“Hey,” he murmurs in a small, sad voice.
“Hi.”
I”m not sure how to react when my friend hands me a bouquet of tulips and a croissant. I don”t even bother to take them, and I go back inside the apartment, leaving him the choice to follow or leave.
Is he trying to apologize? Does he regret his behavior?
Hard to tell since he hasn”t looked me in the eyes since I opened the door. I sit on the couch, holding my coffee cup. Corentin”s footsteps echo as he approaches, and he stands awkwardly in the middle of the living room, clearly uncomfortable.
I hate this tense atmosphere between us.
I am about to start the discussion, but Corentin takes the lead.
“I”m sorry,” he says, approaching me slowly.
However, my gaze remains clear. A simple I”m sorry won”t be enough. He finally meets my gaze, showing clear hurt from the distance I”ve created, and awkwardly extends the bouquet to me. I regret causing him this pain, but he needs to understand he crossed a line. Therefore, it costs me, and I decide not to accept the flowers so easily. I know my worth, and what he did was cruel. I”m glad he”s apologizing for his behavior, but it won”t be sufficient.
“I”ve been a real jerk to you, and I”m deeply sorry,” he admits.
“Yes, you have,” I retort. “You hurt me, Corentin. Whether through your words, your attitude, or even your silence. Everything was done to hurt me, and you succeeded. I”m terribly disappointed; I didn”t think you were like that. You went too far.”
“I—I know,” he mumbles shamefully. “I lost my temper and said things I shouldn”t have. I”m sincerely sorry, Florence. I wanted to be mean, and it was cruel.”
He has apologized, that”s true. However, I can”t help but ask the question haunting me all night.
“Did you mean what you said? Do you want me out of your life?”
My throat is dry, and my hands tremble as the anticipation of his answer is anxiety-inducing. I”ve barely opened the door to my own concerns, and he has already intensified them.
Corentin plunges his green-eyed stare into mine, an emotion I didn”t know he possessed, darkening his eyes. I try to read his thoughts, but this man is far too mysterious for me to be certain of the message he”s trying to convey. I can”t stand this tension between us or his silence, so I decide to take matters into my own hands.
“If that”s what you want, fine,” I conclude coldly. “My door is open.”
It”s time to end this uncertainty. I can”t continue to bear all these unspoken words. I stand up, ready to put my words into action, but Corentin grabs my hand and holds me back in time. He pulls me into his arms, resting his forehead on my shoulder. I remain frozen as his warm breath grazes my skin. He”s so close, way too close. The scent of his woody cologne reaches me, a fragrance I dream of having by my side.
“Of course, that”s not what I want,” he confesses painfully. “I don”t want to lose you, Florence. Never.”
I take a small step forward, bringing our bodies even closer in a tighter embrace. He shivers, but this time, he tries to step back. I hold him firmly, preventing him from escaping.
“You”re dumb sometimes.”
“Clearly.”
He finally lets his shoulders drop, and I feel his body relax against mine. Silence returns, but we savor this moment of peace. Several seconds pass before my mind wakes up again. In his arms, with his solid and warm chest against mine, I feel butterflies in my stomach. He has this effect on me, his touch is electrifying.
This is one of the things we need to address as well. Perhaps my conversation with the girls prompts me, but so be it, it needs to be said. At least I can get rid of all the little secrets eating away at me.
Well, almost all of them.
“I wasn”t mad at you for the kiss.”
He furrows his brows, surprised, but I continue.
“I was more confused than anything because I couldn”t understand what I was feeling.”
“Do you know now what you feel?”
It takes me a few seconds to respond. His question was the logical continuation of my words, but it catches me off guard.
What should I tell him?
We are far from the feelings one usually has for their best friend, and this could lead us to a new turning point I”m not sure I want.
“At first, I thought you were playing with my emotions, having fun.”
“Florence—”
“But it didn”t last,” I cut in. “I eventually thought you kissed me because you felt sorry for me, for my lack of experience in this area. I was the only one who found it pleasant and exciting.”
He glances at me, an odd gleam in his eyes, making me more and more nervous.
“Do you want me to tell you a secret, Florence?”
“Yes, please,” I almost plead with a trembling voice.
“I didn”t kiss you because of that.”
“Oh really?”
“I did it because I wanted to.”
I smile. It”s probably not the expected reaction, but whatever. “We both know there”s something new between us, something different and shouldn”t be there. I”m not going to play blind on this, and neither are you.”
“That”s not my intention,” he replies calmly.
I think back to Manille”s words.
Just once.
“Maybe we should sleep together, once. We eliminate the tension between us, and then we go back to our friendship as it was,” I blurt out in one go without looking at him.
I timidly raise my head, facing his silence, and I notice the shock on his face. I made a bold decision, to say the least. He swallows hard as I stare into his eyes, growing more confident.
“What”s gotten into you all of a sudden?” he asks.
Despite the furrow of his brows, I feel his body tense against my chest, and his arousal presses against my abdomen. He”s as excited as I am, but he”s trying to conceal it. He knows me well; he knows it”s not at all my style to behave like this. I must admit, I”m surprised by my audacity, but there”s no turning back.
“We can”t stay in this situation. We need to do something, and it seems to be the best option. The only one. We have to get rid of this so we can go back to what we had before.”
He furrows his brow and looks away, but I can see the gears in his brain immediately working at full capacity.
“Wow, you know how to make someone eager,” he replies sarcastically.
I smile and tiptoe to whisper in his ear. Corentin”s hands, placed on my back, squeeze me a little tighter at this gesture. My breath is short, and the heat in my lower abdomen intensifies, sending shivers through me.
“There”s also the fact I want you.”
His breathing becomes erratic, and the bulge in his pants becomes more insistent and impressive. He”s giving in, and I can”t hide my smile at the thought of pleasing him.
“You want me?” he asks, sounding skeptical.
“Yes, quite a bit. Don”t you?”
There”s doubt in my voice, but seeing the fiery look in his eyes, I have my answer.
“Why only once?”
“We”re friends, Corentin, not friends with benefits. The goal is to eradicate this sexual tension, not fuel it. So yes, it will only happen once. After that, everything will go back to normal.”
He blinks, opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it immediately. I admit I expected him to react more enthusiastically. Now, he seems disappointed, even frustrated. Have I made a mistake? Maybe he”s not attracted to me at all. Have I been deluding myself? It wouldn”t be the first time.
“You know what, forget it. Forget what I said, it was stupid.”
I pull away from him and start to head to my room, embarrassed. But that”s without counting on Corentin, who freezes me in place with one sentence.
“I want you, Florence. You have no idea.”
The butterflies go wild and now radiate through my entire body. My hair stands on end, my legs wobble, and my breath catches. My heart is pounding, and I can”t believe we’re having this conversation.
I can”t believe he desires me.
Corentin advances toward me with a seductive air, his gaze darkened by intense desire. I instinctively step back, disturbed by the energy he exudes.
“I”ll make sure this night is perfect. It will be unforgettable, Florence.”
I struggle to swallow, his husky and sensual voice creating a whirlwind of uncontrollable emotions.
“But I have one condition,” he adds, seriousness returning to his tone.
“I”m listening,” I stutter awkwardly.
“Tomorrow, you go out with Lucas. You have dinner with him and spend the evening in his company,” he orders me with a tone full of disgust, his jaw clenched.
I furrow my brows, wondering what Lucas has to do with the conversation before remembering my stupid lie. I missed a good chance to stay silent.
What an idiot!
“Why?” I stammer once again.
“I”m not a sexual object you can use and discard in favor of another. If you think things can go further between you two, then fine, but we won”t sleep together. It would serve no purpose, and it”s not right, not for him, not for me. Upon reflection, it wouldn”t be right for you either. However, if things don”t work out between you, I accept your proposition. Deal?”
I should tell him his conditions are unnecessary, but the idea of telling him the truth terrifies me. What if he resented me? What if he changed his mind because of my lies? Worse yet, what if he pitied me?
In his eyes, I would be nothing more than a poor girl who invented a fake love life, and even if it”s true, it”s too embarrassing. Impossible to own up to something like that.
“Deal,” I whisper with determination.