Chapter 30
Gently,I try to recover from her loss. It has now been over a week since Lola left us. While the first few days were challenging, to the point where even saying her name made me burst into tears, today I”m starting to accept it, and her final moments are overshadowed by the good memories. Step by step, I climb back up. All of this reassures me because I hope one day it will hurt less in my heart.
It”s also worth mentioning, the upcoming wedding has helped me a lot in thinking about something other than Lola and Corentin. Since what the girls told me at the bar about my relationship with the lawyer, I haven”t brought up the subject with him. We kissed, many times even, which isn”t normal for friends. Obviously, being as timid as I am, I haven”t addressed the issue, preferring to seek refuge in work. It was the perfect excuse since his sister”s wedding is this weekend. If Corentin noticed my evasion, he didn”t show it. He is also dealing with it in his own way. We”re not on bad terms, we”re unable to put words to what”s happening between us. We”re not ready, not yet.
Joining the living room, a delightful scent of pancakes and toast catches my attention. Charlotte, wearing her apron, emerges from the kitchen, arms loaded with food. With a wide smile, she places everything on the table. At the same moment, Manille comes out of the bathroom, surely drawn by the enticing aroma wafting in the air. In the apartment, Beyoncé sings in the background.
“Is there something to celebrate?” I ask, taking one of her creations.
“Yes, the wedding is this weekend, and I want to congratulate you in my own way.”
“We still have to wait for the wedding to end to see if I”ve succeeded.”
She frowns, dismissing my remark with a wave of her hand.
“The most important thing is the journey, Florence. You can be proud of yourself. We certainly are,” Charlotte says.
“Absolutely,” Manille adds with her mouth full.
Charlotte throws a towel at her, reminding her not to talk with her mouth full. Manille rolls her eyes but obeys nonetheless. We eat in a good atmosphere, and Charlotte tells us a bit more about her boyfriend Nicolas.
I extend my congratulations to her, acknowledging a sense of guilt for not being as present as I would prefer. Following assistance with the dishes alongside Charlotte, I prepare to head to the agency. There are still some details to finalize before embarking on the journey with Corentin tomorrow. Manille has opted to depart tonight for étretat.
After a visit to the bathroom, I put on an oversized blue cardigan with white flower prints, paired with black leggings and sneakers. The weather is beautiful despite the cool wind surrounding us. The streets of Paris are bustling with life, and I decide to walk to work instead of taking public transportation.
Back at the office to finalize the last details, I sigh as I sink into my chair. I”m exhausted, but I”m satisfied with myself. I cast a sad glance at the diffuser with Lola”s image, emitting a gentle fruity fragrance into the air. I glance up at the clock Manille installed when she finally had time to decorate my workspace with light furniture, green plants, and pastel paintings. It all creates a peaceful atmosphere in the room. I leave my office to visit élise”s, and after knocking, she kindly invites me in.
“Florence, how are you?”
With a slight smile at the corners of my lips, I sit in front of her.
“A bit stressed,” I confess in a small voice.
My boss, in a cheerful manner, smiles at me, almost dazzling the room.
“You know, during my first wedding, I thought I was going to faint. Carrying all the anxiety of a couple on your shoulders is burdensome, and the pressure is enormous.”
I widen my eyes, and she laughs in response.
“That”s not reassuring. Maybe—” I hesitate.
“Maybe nothing at all,” she interrupts my doubts. “Do you want me to tell you what happens next?”
I nod, and she continues.
“I was stressed, but I couldn”t stop thinking about all the effort I had put in and all the work I had done. I concluded I couldn”t give up, not so close to the goal. Keep in mind, it”s okay if things don”t go as you initially imagined. Life is unpredictable; no matter how much you plan, unexpected events occur. What is crucial in our profession is to know how to react, whatever the situation. Don”t let panic control you.”
Her words reassure me, give me faith in myself, but they don”t completely overshadow the fear of messing up.
“Do you think it will be okay?”
“Of course! Even if it”s the first wedding you”re organizing on your own, you”ve seen others. You have to trust yourself, as I do. I”m happy to see your progress, you orchestrated a perfect proposal, and you”re about to repeat it with a splendid ceremony. Don”t doubt yourself, my dear. You are talented; your passion will take you far.”
I hold back a tear as I am touched by her kindness.
“Thank you, élise. You”re right, I can do this.”
“That”s what I want to hear! See you on Monday for the debriefing. And whatever happens, know I”m proud of you.”
She gets up to hug me, and this contact manages to erase my anxieties. When she lets go and wishes me good luck, I return to my desk, happier than ever. Finally ready to leave, a voice I recognize too well emerges behind me, making me jump.
“Did you finally decide to resign, or did the boss kick you out? I knew this job wasn”t for you.” Cécile.
I grit my teeth as I turn to see her standing in the doorway. The redhead is as immaculately put together as ever wearing a pristine white shirt paired with a pencil skirt matching her hair color.
Seeing her, I want to slap myself for daring to think this viper could be kind. I often wonder why she is like this. Was she born with this nasty character, or has life been so cruel to her, protecting herself by being mean?
“No, I”m getting ready to leave for the wedding. You know, the one élise entrusted me with because she believes in me, unlike you.”
My retort surprises me as much as her. I don”t understand what”s happening, but I”m proud that, for once, I don”t allow her to walk all over me. I won”t be a punching bag she can use when she needs to vent. I have changed.
A bit thrown off, the redhead quickly regains her composure, her expression shifting to one of annoyance.
“élise is too kind, she gives a chance to anyone, even those who don”t deserve it.”
I absorb the remark without flinching. No way am I going to let her words spoil my cheerful mood. “Do you even know how to be encouraging,” I quip.
“I don”t want you to ruin our company”s reputation because of your incompetence, that”s all.”
Leaning on my desk, legs crossed and arms on either side of the pine furniture, I give her a mocking smile.
“You understand if I fail, the blame will fall on you as much as on me?”
She furrows her brow and opens her mouth, but I don”t give her time to respond.
“You were my supervisor for a year, Cécile. You were supposed to train me, teach me all the ins and outs of the job to help me stand on my own. A year is long enough for someone to doubt your coaching and management skills. So if I”m not competent, the whole company will think it”s because you were incapable of doing your job properly.”
I advance toward her, head held high and back straight.
“I did everything to make it work between us. I did everything you asked of me without complaining, but you kept acting like a witch. You constantly belittle me, asserting your power and superiority over everyone, but it”s pathetic frankly. Were you afraid the new girl would overshadow you? No matter, don’t answer. You can continue to waste your time if you want; your venom no longer has any effect on me. You want to show control over everything, but you”re pitiful.”
I turn my back on her, gather my belongings, and face her again while she doesn”t even blink anymore, apparently in shock. It”s immature, I know, but I can”t help but sting her once more.
“Are you still here? Don”t you have a wedding to organize? Because I do, so if you”ll excuse me.”
I pass by her, and without turning around, I deliver the final blow.
“I find it crazy you still have enough free time to bother me. I can give you a file if you have nothing to do.”
I leave the company with a bitter taste in my mouth. Surprisingly, I feel no pride or relief at rebelling in this way; on the contrary, I feel guilty. I feel like I”ve been as bad as she was this time. However, I won”t apologize. Because of the fear she instilled in me, I put Cécile on a pedestal for a long time. I saw her as someone far superior to me in all aspects, but she is no more or less valuable than anyone else.
Suddenly, the power she had over me collapses. Dwelling on retaliating against her would be pointless. What”s done is done. I can only be proud to finally escape from the control she exerted.