Chapter 34
Alone and seatedon the sand, a shiver runs through me as the wind unrelentingly lashes at my skin. Despite successfully fulfilling my first contract, I find myself dwelling on my perceived foolishness, realizing progress was unlikely with Corentin.
What did I expect, exactly? Sleeping together doesn”t imply anything between us. I kept telling myself we shouldn”t do this, but I still dove headfirst, without considering the consequences of my actions and feelings.
Now, I feel a sense of shame for not being a better friend. If he rekindles his relationship with Jolie, I should genuinely rejoice for him. The fact they”re giving it another try is positive, particularly because, despite my lack of acquaintance with her, she appears to be an incredibly kind woman, aptly living up to her name. In any case, Corentin is my best friend, and our relationship remains intact.
“Oh, there you are,” exclaims a soft voice behind me.
Surprised, I turn to Clara, who has changed her wedding dress for another, shorter and more flowing. I look at her, trying to hide my sadness in vain. Her smile fades the second her eyes meet mine. I blame myself for seeing her features drawn with worry. This expression has no place on her face, especially on her wedding day.
I decide to reassure her, helping her quickly return to enjoying herself.
“Were you looking for me? Do you want me to watch you throw the bouquet?”
Clara doesn”t answer and hands me a pack of tissues straight from her cleavage. Lost in my thoughts, I hadn”t even noticed I was crying. I thank her with a weak smile as she joins me on the cool sand.
We admire the moon”s shimmering reflections on the water. I appreciate Clara not forcing me to open up. She simply becomes my silent support in this intimate moment. I would have liked to talk to Manille and Charlotte right now, but she”s already gone. So, I confide in Clara, needing a listening ear.
“I didn”t know about Corentin and Jolie,” I murmur, staring at the horizon.
She sighs and puts her hand on my back, rubbing it gently. “I”m sorry. I guess it didn”t come from Corentin”s mouth, did it?”
I shake my head. “I thought that—” I stop before saying too much. “Maybe it”s better this way after all.”
“Did you think there could be something more between you two? And now, you don”t believe it anymore? You presume you were wrong.”
Am I transparent?
I feel as if a bullet has pierced my heart. She found the right words and knows exactly what I”m feeling. With a lump in my stomach, I can”t help but cry again when I confirm.
“Yes,” I whisper simply, my voice trembling.
After her caresses, sweet words, kisses, and glances, I stupidly hoped something more could exist between us. Something strong, uncontrollable, and irresistible. Realizing I was the only one thinking and feeling all of this hurts much more than I would have thought. I can only blame myself.
After all, what did I expect by proposing this stupid deal?
He insisted so much on me being his date today; I imagined it meant something strong when, in reality, he wanted to make his ex jealous by showing off with me. I should have understood it with his evasive and sometimes insistent looks. Instead, I thought it was because of the father-son conflict. The guests even felt sorry for me. No, more than that, I make them pity me. I didn”t see it coming, and now, I feel humiliated.
“Can I tell you something you don”t know about my brother?” Clara suddenly proposes.
I don”t have the strength to open my mouth, so I simply nod in agreement.
“Corentin stands as the family”s lone wolf, preferring silence, especially when it comes to discussing himself. Essentially, he”s a reserved individual, concentrating on his aspirations and indifferent to the rest. While I deeply care for Jolie as my best friend, I”ve always been puzzled about their relationship. It seems they quickly recognized its lack of potential, leading to intermittent breaks. Corentin”s reserved nature and inclination to live in his own world were points of contention for Jolie. She desired him to be more open, to engage socially, but an intrinsic aspect of his character persists. She attempted to alter someone unwilling and unable to change. Due to these factors, a lasting connection between them appears improbable.”
I imagine their daily relationship. Jolie is a warm and outgoing girl, the complete opposite of my neighbor. I”m surprised he lasted so long with a young woman of such temperament, but I refrain from telling her. I want to understand why Clara is sharing all this with me.
“Okay. But how does it relate to me?”
“Jackie calls Corentin every Sunday, and I make an effort to meet him weekly. In the past, the routine remained unchanged. He discussed his job, and nothing more. Even during his time with Jolie, he seldom revealed much about her.”
I turn my head and look at her, expecting a more detailed explanation, as I still don”t understand where she”s going with this.
“At first, when he talked to us about you, I assumed he had gone crazy. You seemed so unreal, it was impossible for me to believe.”
“Why is that?” I ask, surprised by her revelation.
“It”s the first time he talked about someone who was part of his life. And suddenly, you appear out of nowhere. I imagined he had made you up because he was tired of our remarks about his almost nonexistent relationships. But the more he talked about you, the more we doubted. By his voice, we could sense his genuine happiness you were in his life.”
“I haven”t done much, though.”
“You did what no one else could, not even my mother and me. We pressured him, thinking we were doing our best, but you, you accepted him as he is. You took the time to discover him, you let him have his little secrets despite the curiosity. According to him, you are the only person in the world capable of understanding him.”
“I was a good friend.”
Clara sighs and shakes her head; nevertheless, a smile appears at the corners of her lips.
“No, you were more than that, Florence. You extended your hand when everyone else either sided with him or avoided him because of his distant and solitary attitude. You make him feel good, feel normal. He”s a bit of the black sheep of the family, and the least we can say is he”s not good with human relationships. He”s not comfortable with people, even with us, that”s why he avoids crowds; it makes him anxious. But with you, he”s free to be himself, he”s happy because he knows he”s not alone anymore.”
Clara”s words deeply affect me, akin to an unforeseen revelation. The idea Corentin could feel excluded and unloved hadn”t previously occurred to me. I was unaware of the extent of my significance to him.
But am I as essential to his life as Jolie?
“You mean a lot to him. He even asked me to enlist your services. He believes so much in you, he entrusted you with his sister”s wedding.”
I suddenly raise my head to her, eyebrows furrowed.
“How so?”
“When Corentin learned we were looking for help for our express ceremony, he immediately told me about you. He even blackmailed me.” She laughs. “He agreed to come only if I chose you as the organizer. Of course, I said yes right away. In the end, I regret nothing. I have my brother by my side, a highly competent professional, and on top of that, I made her a friend. What more could I ask for?”
I”m torn between bursting into laughter or anger. More secrets and hidden things, but at the same time, it”s for my own good. I think I”ll have to talk to him directly.
“He hides a lot, he”s incredibly mysterious. How can you be sure I mean so much to him?”
“Corentin hasn”t attended a single family gathering in ten years. He only comes when it”s for work, but that”s it. Even at the announcement of my engagement, he didn”t show up. But with you, no, FOR you, he came today. He believes in you and wants to help you launch your career, even if it means facing his worst nightmares. I love my family, but most of them behave like idiots with Corentin.”
“I noticed, yes.”
“Do you understand how important you are to him now?”
I nod as a voice resonates in the air. We turn around and see Naisha, followed by Corentin, which means it”s time for Clara and me to cut our conversation short.
“Just so you”re aware, Corentin won”t reconcile with Jolie. It wouldn”t be logical, especially considering your presence,” she murmurs before rising and giving me a playful wink.
I don”t reply. Her words disturb me more than I want them to; they hit me hard. Still, I”ll have to discuss it with him because only Corentin can confirm what she said. Clara is his big sister, whatever happens, she”ll do everything to defend him and make him look like an angel.
Clara, standing in front of me, hands me a bouquet I hadn”t noticed.
“Aren”t you supposed to throw it?” I ask, surprised.
“I prefer to give it to you.”
She winks at me again as Corentin freezes behind us. Before he joins me, she stops him to whisper something in his ear. I can”t hear it, but from his worried face, I understand she”s warning him about the situation.
Now we”re alone, Clara having run away with her wife. Before he decides to speak, I take the lead.
“Shall we take a walk?” I suggest, to buy some time.
He responds by extending his hand, which I take without hesitation. A shock runs through my body, and I take a few seconds before I stand up again, breathless. We walk, and I feel my friend is thinking. Despite Clara”s warning, he doesn”t know exactly what”s going on in my head or how to approach things. Not wanting to beat around the bush, I ask the question obsessing me since I saw him with his ex.
“Is there something between Jolie and you?”
“No!”
His reaction is so quick I”m surprised. Despite the sincere tone he used, I stop in front of him and analyze his gaze for any traces of lies.
“Do you want to give it another try with her?”
“Absolutely not. There”s nothing between her and me anymore.”
His answers relieve me, and yet, the weight on me is still there as we continue walking.
“So, you didn”t treat me so tenderly to make her jealous?”
“No!”
“Then why did you act as if I was special?”
He stops, and I”m forced to do the same. My redhead places his hands on my shoulders to make me look at him. I try to calm my racing heart, which is pounding painfully under the intensity of his captivating gaze.
“Because you are, Florence. You”re even more than that.”
His declaration is like this day: way too strange for me. I no longer understand my relationship with my friend. I am lost, and Corentin being so calm and unique at the same time clearly doesn”t help.
“I don”t understand anymore. I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Why am I here, Corentin?”
Panic begins to take over, and I don”t know where to turn my head as my firefighter looks at me with concern.
“You”re here to do your job.”
I laugh coldly, bitterness showing on my face.
“I know the truth, Corentin. Clara told me everything.”
If my friend is surprised, he doesn”t show it.
“I was sure she wouldn”t be able to keep her mouth shut,” he sighs, annoyed.
“Why did you ask her to hire me as a wedding planner? What were you thinking?”
He takes a step toward me, but I immediately step back. I can see he”s hurt, but I can”t allow him to approach me. I have to stick to my guns, not let go of the thread for once. I need to know the truth. I foolishly thought I deserved this opportunity, élise had noticed my efforts, believed in me, and decided to give me a chance. I was convinced the fact it was his sister was a coincidence.
Today, I know Corentin has been behind all this from the beginning. Maybe he didn”t lie to me, but he played me.
“I didn”t want you to give up, to abandon your dream. You love the job of a wedding planner, but Cécile was holding you back. Clara kept complaining because she struggled with organizing her wedding, so I offered her your services. The girls knew I wouldn”t come if you weren”t there, so they accepted, and they weren”t disappointed at all. You”ve been incredible, Florence.”
“Why didn”t you tell me? All your reasons are valid and caring. So why hide it from me? Why do you do everything behind my back instead of talking to me?”
He takes another step forward. I don”t move this time. Tenderly, he places his hands on each side of my neck and caresses my cheeks with his thumbs.
“Because I know you. You would have stressed out like crazy. You would have imagined not deserving this opportunity because I suggested your name. That”s also why I asked Clara and Naisha to pretend they didn”t know. I didn”t want you to put more pressure on yourself than you already have.”
I grimace, forced to admit he”s right.
“Okay. I understand, but there are so many things remaining unclear. Like, for example, if it”s not because of your relationship with Jolie, why is everyone staring at us like we”re freaks? And why did you need me to accompany you here? Who am I to you? I”m lost.”
“You mean everything to me, Florence. Everything. As for the rest?—”
Uncomfortable, he pauses and pulls me into a hug. Seeing him so vulnerable hurts. What happened to make him look so pained? His shoulders are tense, his face drawn with sorrow, and I feel guilty for asking the question.
“I”m sorry,” I whisper softly. “If you don”t want to talk about it with me, it”s okay. I don”t want to force you.”
His palms on my hips, he holds me firmly against him.
“No, I—I”ll tell you. I need to.”
His gaze shows determination, but it takes him time to open up. To show him all my support, I hug him back. I want him to understand, no matter what he has to tell me, I”m here. I won”t move. I won”t abandon him.
“They weren”t staring at you; they were staring at me,” he begins hesitantly. “They were probably wondering what I was doing with such an amazing woman, considering the mess I am.”
“You”re not a mess, Corentin!” I exclaim, full of horror. “I can”t let you believe such a thing! You”re impressive, a true hero, and an extraordinary man.”
“My surroundings don”t see it this way. To them, I”m the black sheep, the rebel who didn”t accept to follow the family tradition. I don”t belong among them because I disappointed everyone by refusing to become a lawyer at first. I wanted to pursue art, and my father didn”t like that. He made it clear I shouldn”t disappoint him. Despite our mutual lack of understanding, I aimed to earn his pride. Consequently, I sacrificed my passions to bring him satisfaction. It”s challenging to let down the only remaining parent I have.”
My heart breaks. He gave up what he loved for his father.
“That”s terrible! Is this why you didn”t plan to attend the wedding and have been avoiding them for ten years?” I ask so softly I”m not sure he heard me.
“In a sense. When I informed my father of my desire to become a painter, he ridiculed me. A Thomas deviating from a legal career was beyond his acceptance. I was compelled to adhere to his path, to avoid bringing disgrace upon him. He didn”t grant me a choice, and I lacked the belief in my abilities to challenge him. Presently, I still find fulfillment in my job, even as I occasionally ponder what my life might have been had I resisted. That”s why I discouraged you from surrendering.”
The pain in his voice prompts me to hold him a little tighter. Clenching my jaw, my tongue itches. I want to advocate, to shout my indignation, but I must let him finish first, give him the opportunity to pour out his heart, because it does him good.
“My father wasn”t steadily like this. When my mother was still around, he was the opposite of what he is today. My mother was the only one who understood me, and when she died when I was five, it was a horror. Coping with her departure was incredibly difficult because she was the sunshine of our family. Each of us attempted to recover from her loss, and in my case, art became the avenue for expression. It served as my sole means of communication during the period, yet he remained oblivious to its significance. The turning point came at the age of eighteen. The incident unfolded with everyone present. As I reached legal age, I enrolled in an art school. When my father discovered this, a heated argument ensued. Maybe it was the impact of alcohol that night, but confirming my choice to avoid a career in law branded me a disgrace in his eyes. In his eyes, my life decisions appeared foolish, a regrettable misstep staining the family”s honor. He straightforwardly communicated he did not want me, my presence was unplanned, and my mother would feel ashamed of both me and the path I had taken.”
He shudders, and his voice breaks. Seeing him so unsettled causes me immense pain. I can”t imagine how difficult it was for him to hear that. From his own father, no less. How could he say such a thing to him? It”s so cruel!
“Jackie tried to calm him down and reassure me, but the damage was already done. We violently argued in front of the people present today, and I ended up grabbing my things and leaving. I was convinced it would be fine, but I missed my family more than he knew. So, I gave up art to enroll in law school. Deep down, I still hold resentment, both against him and myself.”
I pull away a bit from the redhead and affectionately stroke his jaw. He tilts his head to press my palm, exhaling with relief, as if my touch soothes him. Then he lowers his gaze to me, and what I discover in it finishes me off.
“They”re surprised to see me, that”s all. I was excluded a long time ago, probably for fear other members of our family would follow my example in choosing their own destiny and become a disgrace in turn. Only Jackie and Clara didn”t share the perspective, they consistently stood by me. I know they”re suffering too, especially my Jackie. After all, seeing one of her children completely withdraw, even to the point of fleeing the house, can”t be easy to bear. So, I make sure to check in with her as often as possible.”
Corentin sighs heavily, looking exhausted, as if he”s reliving the moment while telling me about it. He shakes his head and continues, his throat tight.
“She still blames herself for everything that’s happened, but it”s not her fault. She did what she could. In the end, after all this, I stayed alone in my corner until you appeared in my life. Today, if I don”t see my family anymore, it”s because they scare me. Their presence constantly brings me back to the day I lost everything. Despite appearing insensitive at times, it”s a facade, a wall I built not to be hurt anymore. In truth, I”m tired, Florence.”
“Why did you recommend me to Clara? You knew if she hired me, you would have to face your surroundings, and it would make you suffer.”
He sighs and strokes my hair in a tender gesture.
“You are much more important to me, Florence. I want you to finally feel at home, to realize your dream. There”s nothing better than doing what you love, and that”s what I want for you. I want you to be happy in your life. And since you”re with me, there”s no problem. You manage to make me forget the discomfort I feel in their presence. You, you”re different. You”ve refrained from passing judgment on me, and you don”t attempt to alter me either. You perceive me without seeing a mess, and I appreciate that.”
“I”m truly sorry you felt that lonely, but rest assured, you won”t experience that ever again,” I affirm, hugging him. “I”m incredibly proud of you. You”re an amazing person, Corentin, and I”m genuinely thankful to have you in my life.”
Suddenly, he takes my hand, his eyes sparkling, and pulls me along. Corentin”s warm palm tightens around mine as he leads me to a cove. The turquoise water perfectly complements the reflections of the setting sun. We take off our shoes while intertwining our fingers. We walk in silence, distancing ourselves a little more from the house, and I shiver at the sensation of the cool moisture caressing my bare feet.
When I turn my face to Corentin, I freeze completely, on the verge of collapsing into the water. Before me stands the most beautiful thing I”ve ever seen. Corentin is smiling at me. A genuine smile! I blink several times to make sure I”m not dreaming, but no, I”m not.
His lush mouth is beautifully curved, revealing slight but captivating dimples on each cheek. It”s criminal he hid such an expression from me, and I have nothing to preserve this moment. My heart pounds fiercely in my chest.
My neighbor”s face lights up with an incandescent warmth as his gaze deepens. An almost unreal glow surrounds his muscular silhouette, akin to a divine halo. The most intense and fascinating person I”ve ever met is smiling at me for the first time, and I have absolutely no idea how to react. Each second of gazing at him works like a drug I am aware I can no longer do without.
Not wanting to break this magical moment, I archive this invaluable memory in a corner of my mind because I”m convinced this is a rare opportunity. With eyes sparkling with desire, I want to touch him, feel his smooth skin under the pads of my fingers, and press my mouth against his angelic grin.
I slowly move toward him and lock my gaze into his to observe his eyes shining with a new light. Under the bright light of the moon, I take his face and force him to come closer to me. The energy between us is charged with powerful tension, hastening the already rapid movement of my chest.
His hands move from my hips to my buttocks, which he presses with desire. A small cry escapes me, and my heart races against his in a frenzied dance. Our breaths collide, making me shiver with uncontrollable desire. The blaze animates me intensifies when our lips finally touch, and I can”t help but let out an animalistic moan.
“Coren—”
I ache for him so deeply it”s agonizing, and he feels the same. His strong body presses against mine, his longing palpable as he craves more than I can give. With impatience and a newfound intensity, he sweeps me off my feet, holding me close as a giggle of anticipation escapes my lips, already.