Chapter 20 Lila
Lila
My body is deliciously sore, every inch of me humming with the memories of last night. After the kitchen, twice in my apartment. A deep, satisfied ache settles into my limbs, but the warmth spreading through my chest is what really does me in.
It wasn’t just sex.
It was something else entirely. Something I refuse to name. Something dangerous.
I stretch, rolling onto my side, reaching for him.
But the space beside me is empty.
My stomach drops.
I push up on my elbows, blinking away sleep, scanning the dim light filtering through my apartment. No sound of the shower running. No rustle of movement. Just me.
Alone.
He left.
A lump lodges in my throat as panic kicks up, irrational and sharp. I don’t know what I expected, but waking up alone wasn’t it.
I press my fingers against my temples, forcing down the sting in my chest. Had last night meant more to me than it did to him? Was I just a closure fuck? A goodbye?
Then, I see it.
A single note on the pillow beside me. Folded. Neat. Precise.
Meet me at the park at 12.
No explanation. No apology. Just a request. I suck in a shaky breath, my chest tightening.
What have I done?
***
The park is buzzing when I arrive. I scan the crowd, my pulse kicking up as I spot Clara near the front, arms crossed, her face unreadable. Thomas is speaking with a few of the other business owners, but no one looks particularly pleased. I step closer, clearing my throat. “Clara? What’s going on?”
She turns, lifting a brow. “Wish I knew. Ben just called everyone here. No one seems to have a clue what for.”
My stomach twists.
I glance at the gathered crowd, the uneasy expressions, the way everyone murmurs to each other, waiting. The uncertainty coils around my ribs, squeezing tighter. If no one knows why we’re here then this could be anything and I’m not sure I’m ready for what that means.
Then I see him, Ben, standing where the fountain once stood, his hands tucked into his pockets. He looks calm, composed, but I know better. There’s tension in his shoulders, a weight in his stance.
He turns when he sees me, something shifting in his gaze, but he doesn’t falter.
“I called you all here today because I owe you an apology,” he begins, voice steady. “And a promise.”
A murmur ripples through the small crowd, but no one interrupts.
Ben continues, meeting their eyes one by one. “I came here with a plan that I thought made sense. A business decision. But I didn’t stop to think about the people it would affect.” He exhales, shaking his head. “That was a mistake.”
Someone scoffs. “A big mistake.”
A few chuckles follow, but Ben doesn’t flinch. Instead, Clara crosses her arms, lifting a sceptical brow. “So, what? You just woke up this morning and decided to grow a conscience?”
Ben lets out a breath, nodding. “Something like that.”
Thomas scoffs. “Convenient timing.”
Eva chimes in, arms folded. “You’ve put us through hell these last few months, Ben. You can’t expect us to just roll over and be grateful.”
Ben meets their stares head-on. “I don’t. I know I messed up. I know I’ve been a complete bastard about all of this. But I want to fix it and I’m willing to prove that this isn’t just some PR move.” He pauses. “I get that words aren’t enough. So, let me show you.”
Clara exchanges a glance with Thomas, then sighs. “You better, because if you pull something like this again, I swear to God, I will personally make sure your hair never looks good in this town again.”
Ben smirks slightly. “Terrifying. Truly.” Instead, he nods. “Yeah. I deserve that.”
He glances at me then, just for a second, before turning back to the group. “I’m cancelling the development. Instead, I’ll be reallocating the investment to support the businesses that have been here long before me and I’ll be funding the restoration of the water fountain.”
Silence.
Then, “You’re serious?”
He nods. “Completely.”
Another beat of silence, then Thomas lets out a heavy breath and claps. Eva follows, and soon others join in. Another joins in and suddenly, the mood shifts. There’s cautious optimism in the air.
Ben lets them have their moment, then says, “I don’t expect you to trust me overnight. But I want to earn it.”
I stare at him, my heart hammering, something unsteady curling in my chest.
***
I wait as the last of the crowd disperses, watching Ben. He stands there, hands still in his pockets, eyes heavy with something I can’t quite name. When the last person finally leaves, it’s just the two of us, the rustling leaves and distant hum of the city our only company.
He turns to me, his expression gentler now. “I’m sorry I left early,” he says softly. “There was some unfinished business I needed to handle.”
He pauses, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes, something darker, quieter. “Old ghosts, I guess.”
I swallow hard, suddenly finding it difficult to speak.
“I meant what I said,” he murmurs. “I know I’ve been a complete prick. I know I don’t deserve an easy fix. But I need you to know that this—” he gestures around us, “it was never about revenge. I was just a greedy bastard who thought I could bulldoze my way through everything and call it business.”
I let out a shaky breath, my fingers curling into my sleeves.
His jaw tightens, and for the first time, I see it, the vulnerability he’s trying so hard to mask. The hesitation in his eyes, like he’s bracing for me to shut him down.
“I’ve spent years convincing myself I didn’t need you, that I could move on, build something bigger, be someone bigger.
” His voice cracks slightly, but he pushes through.
“But I was lying. To myself. To everyone. You were always there, even when you weren’t.
I know I’ve been a selfish bastard, but I swear, Lila, if there’s even the smallest chance you could trust me again, I’ll do whatever it takes. ”
My breath catches. “Ben…”
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, his shoulders dropping slightly. He looks down, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and for a moment, I see it, the seventeen-year-old who once stood outside my house, nervous and hopeful, asking me out for the first time.
That same hesitation flickers in his eyes now. Just Ben, stripped bare, laying himself out before me.
“I’ve made a mess of everything, and I know that. But for the first time in a long time, I don’t have some grand plan or calculated move. It’s just me, standing here, hoping like hell you don’t walk away.”
My heart pounds so hard I swear he can hear it.
The world around us seems to shrink, the distant hum of the city fading into nothing.
This moment, everything feels surreal, like something out of a dream I’ve had too many times but never let myself believe in.
My fingers tremble at my sides, my breath catching in my throat.
I want to say something, to move, to reach for him but I’m frozen, trapped between the past and the terrifying possibility of a future I never thought I could have again.
Ben exhales, the tension in his shoulders barely easing, like he’s bracing himself for the worse.
The wind stirs between us, carrying the scent of the trees and the faint murmur of voices in the distance.
His fingers twitch at his sides, like he wants to reach for me, but doesn’t know if he should. Finally, he speaks.
“I– I have to go back to London. Wrap up some projects, deal with the fallout of my grand declaration this morning. But I’ll come back, if you’ll have me.”
He reaches for my hand, his fingers warm against mine. My pulse stutters as he presses something into my palm, a small envelope.
“Open it later,” he says, his lips brushing my forehead in a feather-light kiss. “I’ll be waiting.”
***
The cafe is dark except for the soft glow of fairy lights strung along the walls, casting a warm, golden hue over the empty space.
The closed sign hangs on the door, but inside, it’s just me and the girls, our private Books that Bang book club, which tonight was supposed to double as a celebration. Except I don’t feel like celebrating.
I sit at the counter instead of our usual table, the envelope resting in front of me, my fingers tracing over the edges.
The smell of coffee lingers, comforting yet grounding, making this all feel too real.
My friends chat around me, sipping wine and laughing, but it doesn’t take long before they realise I’m not chiming in.
“You look like someone hit you with a freight train,” Olivia says, sliding into the seat across from me, eyeing me like I should be bouncing with excitement. “Shouldn’t we be celebrating? The town’s saved. Evil developer reformed. Cue the happy ending.”
I let out a sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. “Because it’s not that simple.” They blink at me, confused. With my heart in my throat, I spill everything.
They listen. They let me speak and when it’s all out, I drop my gaze to the table, my finger tracing invisible lines. I’m a tangled mess of feelings and I don’t know what to do with any of it.
Sophie’s eyebrows shoot up. “In here? Damn, Lila.”
Olivia smacks her arm. “Focus.”
Willow tilts her head. “Do you regret it?”
I shake my head instantly. “No. That’s the problem. It wasn’t just sex. It was… as if I found a part of me again and I want more, that terrifies me.”
Olivia exhales. “Because if it’s real, that means it could fall apart again.”
I nod, my throat tight. “Exactly. I don’t get happy endings, guys.
I’ve watched people leave my whole life.
My dad, Ben, nearly this whole damn town at one point.
I’ve fought for everything I have and now I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff.
If I jump, I don’t know if there’s going to be anything to catch me. ”
Willow reaches across the table and grabs my hand, squeezing tight.
“Lila, I need you to hear me,” she says, her voice softer than I’ve ever heard it.
“We may not have known each other our whole lives, but sometimes, it feels like I’ve known you forever.
You, Olivia, Sophie, you’re my family and family means sticking around, no matter what. ”
My chest tightens, the weight of her words pressing against something raw inside me.
“You think you’re alone in this, but you’re not,” she continues. “You’ll always have us. Whether you jump or not, whether it works out with Ben or it doesn’t, we’re here and we’re not going anywhere.”
I blink rapidly, willing the tears not to fall. “Why do you guys always do this?” I mutter, attempting a weak laugh. “I came here to sulk, not get a therapy session.”
Sophie grins. “Too bad. You’re stuck with us.”
Olivia nudges my arm. “You deserve love, Lila. The kind that doesn’t leave. If there’s even a chance Ben could be that for you, don’t you think you owe it to yourself to find out?”
I stare at them, at the unwavering belief in their eyes, and something inside me shifts. With trembling fingers, I reach for the envelope. My breath stutters as I tear it open, my heart hammering against my ribs. The paper inside feels fragile, aged, like something kept safe for too long.
Then I see it.
The origami crane. My origami crane, the one I made for him all those years ago.
The once-bright blue paper has faded to a muted, dusky shade, the edges worn soft with time.
There’s a tiny tear near the wing, barely noticeable, but I see it, just like I see the faint smudge of ink where I had once doodled a tiny star in the corner, now almost completely rubbed away.
A choked sob rips from my throat as the realisation crashes over me. He kept it. Through everything. Through time, through distance, through heartbreak. He held onto this tiny, delicate piece of us.
Tears spill down my cheeks, my hands shaking as I clutch it to my chest.
“Oh, Lila,” Olivia whispers, her voice thick with emotion. She slides into the seat beside me and pulls me into a tight hug. Willow and Sophie follow, arms wrapping around me, anchoring me in a way I didn’t know I needed.
“If that’s not love,” Olivia murmurs, brushing a tear from my cheek, “I don’t know what is.”
I let out a watery laugh, shaking my head. “I don’t know what to do.”
Willow squeezes my hand. “I think you know.”
I glance down at the crane again, my vision blurred with tears.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’ve always known.
I think… It’s time to stop running.