Chapter 61
Niki
Shit, shit, shit.
Clara sits in my office, talking about her upcoming photo shoots, and I catch the odd word, but I can’t stop glancing at Rosie’s desk through the one-way glass in my door.
She stares warily at my office, unaware that all that’s happening in here is a fucked-up man pining for her.
“So what do you think?” Clara asks, dragging my attention to her face.
“About what? I phased out for a second,” I admit. “Sorry, that’s really rude.”
Although I once loved being on Clara’s arm, both of us trophy partners for the other, I only want Rosie on my arm with Tabi’s hand in mine now.
Clara tips her head. “You’ve changed.”
“The tactile thing?”
Her smile raises the corners of her mouth as she shakes her head. “No. You used to be…This will sound mean, but what the hell? You used to be a bit of a selfish dick.”
I sit back in my chair as she adds, “I liked that part of you. It meant I was in a relationship, but I also partied hard because you didn’t care,” she says through laughter. “You’re not arguing about that.”
I rub my chin with the tip of my finger. “I can’t.”
She slams her palms on my desk and laughs.
Rosie glares at my office. “You used to argue and grump for hours. You were sweet with Senna and Connor and a couple of others, but generally, no one else got your kindness or attention. It was all about driving. If anything got in the way of that or your fun, you disappeared. You were going to ditch me eventually.”
“How did you know?”
“You pulled away before the accident. When we agreed to break up while you were in the hospital, I felt like a bitch, but I wouldn’t have walked if we had a chance.”
“You weren’t a bitch, and I’m sorry you felt that way. It was the right decision. I was in a bad way, and although I wasn’t great at caring about people before the accident, I was worse after. I still carry guilt about how I treated Senna. I’m sorry for being a crap boyfriend.”
She smiles, and my chest releases. I didn’t realise how hard I’d held onto the guilt for how I’d treated her.
“We had a lot of fun, didn’t we?” she asks tentatively.
“We did, even that night with the bronco.”
She giggles. “When you said we should drive to Vegas and get married dressed as Elvis, I knew you were joking. We argued within ten minutes because you were too busy to care that men chatted me up.”
“I can’t remember what I was doing.”
“You and Connor were in a corner talking about buying a ranch. You wanted to be cowboys.”
She giggles, and I join her in belly laughing. “I really was a dick, huh?”
“The biggest.” She laughs. She catches my eye. “I saw how you looked at your assistant. She’s the one. Your one.”
I nod as Rosie absentmindedly brushes her chain. Is she wearing the ring around it like she promised? “It’s new between us, but I know she’s all I want. I’ve got to convince her, though.”
“And convince yourself you’re good enough.”
My eyes snap to Clara.
“My Niki wasn’t uncertain about anything, but there’s a hesitancy in your actions that wasn’t there before. Jacs suggested you weren’t feeling good enough.”
“Bloody Jacs.” I slowly sip water from my bottle. I’ve not shared that with anyone, but I’m not surprised she’s recognised it in me.
“Go easy on her. She was jittery. We hooked up a couple of weeks ago, and neither of us knew what to talk about.”
I choke on my water. “I didn’t know.”
“I want more, but she says she’s not the relationship type. Story of my life.” Clara’s laugh is hollow. “With her, it’s related to an ex, as opposed to you, who was a dick.” But she says it with a smile. “Thank you for the catch up.”
She stands, and I walk her to my door. “Thank you for visiting. It was nice to chat about old times even if I was a bellend back then.”
She laughs as we step into the corridor. Rosie pulls at her chain as she flexes her jaw.
“Remember you are enough,” Clara whispers, “and you don’t have to go back to who you were.”
She holds out her hand, and I shake it.
“Bye, Rosie. I’ll see you at a race sometime.” Clara waves at a frozen Rosie.
“Bye,” Rosie stutters, but Clara’s turned the corner.
I stand in front of her desk, putting on sanitiser and imploring her with my stare. “Can I explain what she meant about the proposal?”
Rosie shakes her head, making me gulp, but then she winks. “Did you buy the ranch with Connor or not?”
I grip the desk and laugh as she adds, “Senna caught up to me when I was with Jimmy. You used to be a dickhead in the old days, eh?”
Her eyes shine so brightly that I’m dazzled in her presence. “The biggest. There’s nothing between me and Clara. I only want you.”
Rosie worries her lip with her tongue. I want to replace it with mine. I want to prove my dedication to her. Our messages are the best kind of filth, but it doesn’t compare to not touching her.
“I know there’s nothing between you two. I feel insecure sometimes. She seems nice.”
“She is. You’ve nothing to feel insecure about. Me saying that won’t change everything, but I can show you if you’d like.”
She tips her head. Her fingers run across the chain around her neck.
“Are you wearing my ring?” I grunt.
“It’s on the chain.” She pulls it out. It shines under the office lights. “It’s time I returned it.”
I shake my head. “I want…no, I need you to wear it.”
“Right now?” Her forehead is so furrowed.
I nod slowly. “Get in my office.”
“But you’ve got lunch booked with Jacs.”
I dial Jacs, but my stare never leaves Rosie’s eyes. “Jacs, I need thirty minutes for a pressing issue. Can I meet you downstairs at one?”
Stowing the phone in my pocket, I growl, “Now be a good girl and get in my office, Rosabella.”
She sucks in a breath. “But you said we must remain professional and—”
“Are you trying to get spanked? Because I’d love to bend my naughty assistant over my desk, pull up that skirt, and spank her hard. I need to enjoy your lingerie in person.”
Her cheeks pink.
“I want you in my office and on top of my desk in only lingerie and my chain with my ring in the next minute, or you’re in trouble. Are we clear?”
She nods emphatically and runs into my office. I swagger slowly, but I’m desperate for her. I need to show her exactly why she’s mine and the one I want.