Chapter 9 Carson
NINE
CARSON
I wake up to sunlight streaming through the bedroom window and the unfamiliar sensation of warmth beside me.
For a moment, I’m confused about where I am.
I’m not on the couch in the living room.
I’m in a bed, tucked in and comfortable.
The memory returns in a rush. My bedroom.
Lennon. I slept in my own bed for the first time in longer than I care to admit.
And I slept through the entire night. I can’t even remember the last time I did that.
Lennon is still curled against my side, her dark hair spread across my chest, one arm draped over my waist. Her breathing is slow and steady, her face peaceful in sleep.
I’m struck by how right this feels, waking up with her in my arms, the rays of the sun bathing the room in what most would call the golden hour.
She looks like a damn angel sent from fucking heaven.
Last night, when I’d first walked into this room, I’d felt the familiar panic rising—the walls closing in, the air growing thin, making it hard for me to breathe, my pulse quickening with remembered fear.
Somehow, being held by Noah had gone from being in the pharmacy to a very small space.
Instead of having all the openness of the pharmacy, when he held me, it all came down to the immediate area around us.
It didn’t appear big. It was so little that I needed to get out.
Ever since then, my room has felt like that equally small space.
But last night that changed when Lennon brought me in here and started talking.
Her voice, soft and steady, had pulled me out of the spiral before it could fully take hold.
She’d told me about her childhood, about learning to survive in an environment where love came with conditions and anger was always simmering just beneath the surface.
And I’d found myself thinking about what my life could be like if she were in it.
Not just for now, while she needs protection. But after, when this mess is resolved, and she’s safe again. What if she stayed? What if we built something together, like my other brothers have? It’s a possibility, and one I haven’t really ever thought about before.
The thought had been both terrifying and exhilarating. I’m not good at relationships—never have been. I like women, sure, and I’ve had my share of fun. But commitment? That’s always been a bridge too far, a risk I wasn’t willing to take.
With Lennon, though…with Lennon, I can imagine it.
I can almost fucking see it. Sunday mornings like this one, lazy and warm.
Coming home from a long day on the ranch to find her in my kitchen.
Us building the type of life together that my parents had.
The type of love and marriage I saw as a teenager.
Whether I knew I wanted it then isn’t the issue.
It’s the fact that I know I want it now.
The realization should send me running. Instead, it makes me hold her tighter. Since my parents died, I’ve always been the brother who was here for a good time, not a long time. But this woman, she’s making me want things I never have before.
She stirs against me, a soft sound escaping her lips as she slowly wakes up. Her eyes flutter open, confusion clouding them for a moment before recognition sets in. Then she smiles, and I shit you not, my breath catches. If my heart could skip a beat without killing me, it would’ve happened too.
“Morning,” she says, her voice husky with sleep.
“Morning.” I brush a strand of hair from her face, surprised at how natural this feels with her. “You sleep okay?”
“Better than I have in weeks.” She stretches, and I try not to notice the way her tank top rides up, revealing a strip of smooth skin. “You?”
“Best sleep I’ve had since…” I trail off. “In a long time.”
She props herself up on one elbow, studying my face with those eyes that seem to see straight through me. “You made it through the whole night in here.”
“I did.” I can’t quite keep the wonder out of my voice. “I honestly didn’t think I could.”
“You’re stronger than you think,” she says simply, and I want to believe her.
We lie there for a while longer, neither of us in a rush to break this moment. But eventually, reality intrudes. Lennon needs to get ready for work, and I have a full day of ranch responsibilities waiting for me.
“I should probably get up,” she says reluctantly.
“Probably,” I agree, but I don’t let go.
She laughs, the sound filling the room with light. “Carson, I need to shower and get dressed.”
“Five more minutes.” I pull her back down, and she comes willingly, settling against my chest with a contented sigh.
Those five minutes stretch into ten, then fifteen before she finally extricates herself.
“Guest room or coffee,” she says, pointing a finger at me when I start to follow. “I need to get ready without distractions.”
“I don’t know what you’re suggesting,” I say innocently, and she rolls her eyes.
“Uh-huh. Go make coffee, cowboy. I’ll be down in twenty minutes.”
I watch her head to the bathroom, her hips swaying in a way that makes me want to forget my own name, then I force myself up and out of bed. The room doesn’t feel oppressive anymore. Instead, it feels like it could become a haven again.
Downstairs, I start the coffee maker and open the fridge to get stuff to make breakfast. Glancing out at the driveway, I can see that most everyone else has left for the day.
Grabbing my phone, I shoot a text over to Jesse, letting him know I’m running behind and I’m going to make sure that Lennon gets to work.
I’m whisking eggs when Lennon comes downstairs, dressed for work in dark pants and a green sweater that brings out her eyes.
“You didn’t have to make food,” she says, but she’s smiling as she pours herself a cup of coffee.
“I wanted to.” I pour the eggs into the heated pan, adding cheese and vegetables. “Besides, you need to eat something before I drop you off.”
We eat together at the kitchen table.
“What are you doing today?” I ask her as I cut into the omelet I ended up fixing myself.
She closes off slightly, and I know it has to do with what she was telling us last night. “I’m writing up some legal paperwork and doing some investigating on what Shawn is working on.” She’s careful not to tell me too much, but it’s enough to send my heart beating faster. “What about you?”
“I’m fixing a fence with Devlin. We should’ve done it last week. It’s actually what I was doing the other day when I found you with the flat tire. Haven’t gotten back to it yet.”
“Sorry if I’ve been a distraction.” She crunches on a big piece of bacon.
“You’re the best distraction.” I throw a wink in her direction.
Her cheeks turn pink, and we get quiet as we quickly finish our breakfast. When we’re done, I grab my keys while Lennon gathers her things, and we head out to my truck.
The drive to her office is short, filled with companionable silence and the occasional brush of her hand against mine on the console between us.
When I pull up in front of the building, she hesitates before getting out.
“Thank you,” she says softly. “For everything.”
“Nothing to thank me for.” I reach across to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Same time tonight?”
She nods, her smirk sexy. “Same time.”
Almost as if it’s an afterthought, she leans across the console and gives me a kiss.
I tuck my hand into her hair and hold her steady as my mouth takes hers with a possession I shouldn’t have already.
She pulls back, and I have to reach down, cleaning off the smudged lipstick. “Have a good day,” I whisper.
“You too.”
I watch her walk into the building, waiting until she’s safely inside before pulling away. As I drive back toward the ranch, I’m already counting the hours until I can pick her up again.
Because somewhere between our first kiss and waking up with her in my arms, I’ve stopped thinking of Lennon as just someone who needs my protection. She’s become something more. Someone I look forward to seeing every day.
And the thought of letting her go, once this is all over, is unbearable.