Chapter 20 Lennon
TWENTY
LENNON
The group of us girls watches as the guys leave the house.
I’m not sure what they’re thinking, but I’m hoping that Carson will come back to me in one piece.
The wind outside sounds dangerous from inside the comfort of the house.
Glancing around at my friends, I wonder what the hell we’re going to do while the guys are outside.
I could definitely get back to work, but I’m not sure that I want to.
It’s been a long time since the four of us have been together.
“So what’s the plan?” Nora grins as she looks over at Aubree.
Aubree squeals. “Since we haven’t been able to get together to celebrate our engagements…” She gestures between her and Atlee. “I made sure that we’re stocked with stuff to make margaritas. Figured we could have a girls’ night, if you know what I mean.”
Now this? This I’m down for. “Sounds like a great plan to me.”
Aubree tilts her head to the side as she looks at me. “Wanna tell us what the hell was going on with you and Carson in the office? Because I walked by and I could hear things.”
My face gets hot, almost like a sunburn. “We had fun.” I shrug, a smile on my face before I roll my lips together.
“He’s good in bed, isn’t he?” Nora asks. “It’s always the young ones.”
Now it’s time for me to make a confession. “I don’t know. We haven’t had sex. We’ve slept together, and he got me off back there, but we haven’t had sex.”
“Good grief, sis.” Atlee giggles. “I didn’t expect that from you.”
“Hey,” I defend myself. “Just because I’ve always been the responsible one doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have a good time. If there’s anyone I can have a good time with, it’s going to be Carson.”
“Yeah,” Aubree sighs. “There’s something about those Nelson brothers.”
And I realize with clarity that she’s right.
Two hours later, we’ve drunk a pitcher and a half of margarita.
It’s like we’re just a bunch of women having a sleepover.
This is something I wasn’t able to have when I was younger, because I was typically taking care of Atlee.
“I was hoping that Carson would be back in tonight, so we could finally end this dry spell, but it looks like they’re going to be out there all night. ”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to have a good time once he comes back in and has a good night’s sleep.
” Nora grins. “Truett and I have been sleeping together for a good number of years, and dare I say that when they’ve been out there all night, braving the elements and making sure the cows are staying alive, they come back in a little more virile. ”
Between my thighs clenches, and I’m more excited than I should probably be. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She nods. “Nights like this are some of the best nights we’ve had.”
Aubree clears her throat. “Just how many years have you been sleeping with my brother?”
It’s Nora’s turn for her face to go warm. “Around seven. Believe it or not, I lost my virginity to him.”
All of us are surprised when she drops this gem. We’ve all known that they once dated and then got back together. It was a sore subject for both of them. This time, they seem to have not put a title on it, but they’re happy every time I see them.
“You lost your virginity to my brother?”
She nods, taking a drink from her glass. “Out there in that damn barn they’re in right now.”
“I can’t believe you.”
Nora pulls a face, pursing her lips. “Yes, you fucking can. We’ve known each other a long time.
You, of all people, know most everything about me.
” She stops for a minute, her face getting contemplative.
“There’s never really been anyone else for me besides Truett.
We’ve just fucked it up more often than we should have.
I hope this time we’ve got it figured out. ”
I do too. Everyone in town has watched them circle around each other like dancers at a battle. I’d dare say everyone in town is rooting for them too. “I think you have. If not, the rest of us don’t have a chance at being happy. I mean, the way he looks at you…” I trail off.
Atlee grins over at me. “Carson looks at you the exact same way, Len. You just don’t see it.”
It’s not that I don’t see it. It’s that I don’t want to believe it.
I’ve spent most of my life not believing anything good would really happen for me, so it’s difficult to believe something has changed.
Atlee must realize I’m feeling uncomfortable because she looks at me with a smile on her face.
It’s a sad smile, and then she asks me a question I didn’t expect to hear from her.
“Have you found out anything about the case you’re working on?”
There’s a part of me that knows she shouldn’t have said anything, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s glad she did. Because as soon as she says those words, everyone sits up straighter.
“I’ve heard a lot about it,” Nora says to the group, leaning forward.
Although we’re all a little tipsy, I can tell everyone wants to hear about this.
So I tell them about Sheriff Reagan’s wife contacting us about domestic abuse charges she’s brought forward against him, how the county and city have refused to put him on administrative leave, and how she’s scared to go back home.
When I finish, the room is quiet for a beat. The wind rattles the windows, and I think about Claire, tucked away somewhere safe with Tommy, hoping the man who is supposed to protect this town isn’t hunting her down in the meantime. It makes my stomach turn.
Aubree sets her glass down on the coffee table and pulls her knees up to her chest. “Have you found out anything that might actually help Claire? Help her and Tommy get out of this for good?”
I glance over at Atlee because she’s been doing the digging that I haven’t had time to do. She’s better at it anyway. Always has been. Even when we were kids, Atlee had a way of finding out things that nobody wanted found.
Atlee shakes her head slowly, and I can tell by the look on her face that it’s not a simple no.
It’s the kind of no that comes with a whole lot of complications attached to it.
“Not yet. Nothing that would hold up, anyway.” She pauses, chewing on her bottom lip the way she does when she’s scared to put what she thinks into words.
Back when we lived at home with our parents, they would discount everything she said. “But something is off. Really off.”
“Off how?” Nora asks.
Atlee reaches over and refills her glass, more for something to do with her hands than because she wants the drink, I think.
“Thomas Reagan has a work record. A legitimate one, as far as anyone can tell. But it doesn’t start until he’s twenty-five years old.
And when it does start, it’s in a town over from Grizzly River.
Like he just materialized out of thin air one day, fully formed, badge and everything. ”
The room goes quiet again, but it’s a different kind of quiet this time. The kind that settles over a group of women when something doesn’t sit right.
“Twenty-five?” Aubree repeats, then frowns. “That’s not just a gap in employment. That’s his entire life before that. His whole childhood, schooling, everything. I mean, what did he do before then? Most kids at least have a teenage job.”
“Exactly.” Atlee points at her. “There’s nothing.
No school records that I can find tied to anyone matching his description in the surrounding counties.
No juvie record. No social media, which, okay, not everyone has that, but combined with everything else?
” She shakes her head. “It’s like Thomas Reagan didn’t exist before the age of twenty-five. ”
Nora sets her margarita glass down slowly, her brows pulling together.
“That’s not normal. I mean, I understand going off-grid to a degree.
Lord knows there are people out here in ranch country who live pretty quiet lives and don’t leave much of a footprint.
But we’re not talking about someone who just stayed off social media.
We’re talking about a complete absence of any kind of digital or paper trail. ”
“In this day and age…” Aubree says, and she sounds genuinely unsettled. “That’s almost impossible to pull off unless you’re working really hard at it. Or unless someone helped you.”
I’ve been thinking the same thing. I’ve been turning it over in my mind since Atlee first mentioned it to me, and I can’t come up with a clear explanation.
People who go off-grid by choice usually leave traces anyway.
Their name is on some sort of directory.
They’re mentioned on social media for some reason.
There’s usually a parking ticket at least. “So the question is,” I say, keeping my voice steady.
“Was he just someone who lived so far outside of the system that nothing stuck? Or is Thomas Reagan not who he says he is?”
Atlee meets my eyes across the coffee table, and I can see the weight of it sitting on her.
“That’s exactly what I’m struggling with.
Those are the only two options as far as I can tell.
Either he was completely off-grid for the first quarter-century of his life, which is unusual but not impossible, or he’s been lying.
About a lot. About where he came from. About who he was before he showed up here and made himself into the kind of man that a town like Grizzly River would trust with a badge. ”
The fire in the fireplace pops, and all four of us flinch at the same time, then laugh a little at ourselves. But the laughter fades fast.
“If he’s lying about his past,” Nora says carefully. “Then Claire has no idea who she actually married.”
Nobody answers her, because none of us needs to. We all know that’s probably true. And we all know what it means for Claire and for Tommy, and what it means for every person in this town who has looked to Thomas Reagan for protection.
I reach over and squeeze Atlee’s hand. She squeezes back hard.
Outside, the wind howls, and the snow keeps falling, and somewhere out in that barn, our men are keeping their livelihood going. In here, the four of us are sitting with the weight of a secret that feels like it could crack everything open.
I just hope we’re ready for whatever is underneath it when it does.