25. Sequin-Covered Freddy Krueger, Stage Ravens, and Blind Knots #3
"Stop it," she cuts him off, pulling on his t-shirt until he rests his head on her shoulder. Josh surrenders, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair, while Lizzie smiles sweetly at the camera. She grabs a handful of their consolation popcorn. Defeat has never looked so romantic.
[CUT]
[B-ROLL – HIDDEN CAMERA: OUTSIDE THE BARN]
Natural light, bright sun. Stolen footage.
Carolina is walking toward the makeup tent, swaying her hips hypnotically in her tight jeans, her “Cowboy, Behave” T-shirt on full display.
Behind her, leaning against the rough wooden split-rail fence, are Cade and Cole.
The twins stop talking simultaneously. As if synchronized by some primal instinct, they lean forward.
They both tip the brims of their hats down slightly with one finger and track her with their eyes, studying her from head to toe with hungry expressions.
Cole bites his lower lip, winking shamelessly when Carolina glances back at them over her shoulder. Cade crosses his arms, flashing a predatory grin. Flirts to the bone. Carolina bites her thumbnail and keeps walking.
[CONFESSIONAL: CAROLINA]
She's sitting alone. She runs a hand through her hair, her eyes shining with pure, chaotic mischief.
She tilts her head to the side, as if weighing an impossible dilemma. Then she shakes her head, amused.
"Why choose?"
She bursts into laughter, a clear, brazen laugh, throwing her head back.
She looks dead into the lens, shrugging her shoulders. "Yeah. I said it."
[CUT]
[CONFESSIONAL: EMERSON AND SUSAN]
Emerson and Susan are sitting on completely opposite ends of the leather couch. The tension between them could power the Elm Hollow electrical grid for a month.
"I repeat," Emerson starts, staring straight at the camera to avoid looking at her. "You have absolutely zero strategy. You acted on impulse, irrationally, and it almost caused our elimination. I told you I should have done it."
Susan slowly turns her head toward him. Her eyes are two lethal slits. "How dare you?" she hisses, her voice dangerously low. "And besides, pray tell... what the hell was that comment you spat out earlier supposed to mean: I am visually more suited?!"
Emerson sighs with academic exasperation, looking like he's speaking to a stubborn child.
He waves a hand vaguely in her direction.
"I simply mean that you clearly have the physique of a... sturdy farm girl. I mean, you are solidly built. I, on the other hand, am leaner. Structurally aerodynamic for thinking, not for pulling ropes in the mud."
The silence lasts for one second. Then the bomb goes off.
Susan half-rises from the couch, fuming with rage, pointing a red-lacquered nail a millimeter from his nose.
"Farm girl?! Me?!" she screams, the veins in her neck throbbing. "You are nothing but a useless, good-for-nothing beanpole! You couldn't lift a feather even if your miserable, my-ass-scientist life depended on it!"
Emerson recoils against the armrest, his eyes going wide, but he doesn't back down: "Your aggression only confirms my empirical thesis!"
"I'll shove your empirical thesis right up your—"
[BLACK SCREEN – CENSORED]
ELM HOLLOW GAZETTE
Local News, Mild Scandals, and Absolutely Essential Truths
by Francis Grande
(Reporter and Proud Witness of Clandestine Backstage Make-Out Sessions)
?? CINE-DRAMA: THE POPCORN OF SALVATION AND THE CAPTAIN'S FAREWELL
Dear readers and Elm Hollow TV addicts! The Butcher's Lasso trial has concluded and claimed its victims.
Our titan of the ice, Josh Roy, and the formidable Lizzie have to leave the game due to an ankle injury.
But don't despair: close sources (me, hiding behind a hay bale) confirm that the Captain carried her away in his arms with a devotion that would make the heroes of Selene Dusk's novels pale in comparison.
A round of applause for the most athletic (and unlucky) couple on the show!
But the question begs to be asked: what happens now? Production promises fire and brimstone.
?? A... ROYAL SANDWICH?
Speaking of fire and brimstone, we absolutely must address the elephant in the room.
Or rather, the two wranglers in the room.
Twins Cole and Cade have shown zero hesitation in locking their radar onto our Princess Carolina.
The three of them have been exchanging witty banter and burning looks that are drastically raising the humidity on set.
The princess declared to the cameras, "Why choose?" .
Gazette Verdict: Dear female readers, get your smelling salts ready. I foresee hormonal storms and rumpled sheets. And don't forget: cowboys do everything better, let alone two of them.
?? WAR OF THE WORLDS: NERD VS SEXY NURSE
And for our comedic relief of the week, a special thanks to Emerson and Susan.
We don't know who had the sadistic idea to pair them up, but we'd like to shake their hand.
Between "useless beanpoles" and "sturdy farm girls," the two of them are one step away from committing actual murder on camera.
How long will the astrophysicist last before Susan decides to strangle him with her fake stethoscope?
Stay tuned, because the blood might not be fake much longer.
#HauntedSpurs #PopcornOfSalvation #LoveTriangle #RunEmersonRun