36. Isaac
36
ISAAC
T he pilot circled the plane around the runway again. Of course, the weather was terrible. What a fucking cliche.
My fingers drummed on the armrest as the plane tilted for another pass at the airstrip. The empty seat to my left taunted me.
I had always traveled alone before her, but the reminder of Hannah Jane’s absence unraveled me at the seams. A bottle of bourbon sat within reach, tempting me with relief. I wasn’t going to touch it, no matter how much I craved a drink.
Ten minutes passed, and we finally touched down. I sank into the backseat of the car, and we pulled away. My phone buzzed with a message from Spenser confirming my last-minute travel arrangements.
I knew it wouldn’t be a text from Hannah, but my heart fluttered at the possibility. It was a Friday in the summer, and she would be in drill-sergeant mode at the Taylor Creek Inn.
I missed her.
I closed my eyes, but knew the feel of every turn the driver would make before he made it .
I avoided making an even bigger ass out of myself by not texting her when I couldn’t fall asleep the last few nights. The pictures I had saved on my phone? Those were fair game. I cashed out everything I had stored up in my spank bank. My hand ached from how much I jerked off thinking about her.
It wasn’t just her body I thought about.
It was her smile. Her laugh.
The way she always got quiet when she was working. The way she would have her hair pulled back in a short ponytail and stick her ink pens in it for safekeeping.
I thought about the way my mind quieted when I was around her. Every other moment of the day, my brain was a noisy, busy place. But, with her, everything stilled.
My eyes snapped open as we arrived at the Taylor Creek Inn. I stepped out of the car and buttoned my suit jacket.
I strolled into the lobby and stood at the front desk. There was no attendant seated there, so I waited.
My phone vibrated again. Spenser had forwarded me an email from William Solomon. The deal we were working on was moving at a snail’s pace.
The seller and the buyer were both being cagey with each other about what was on the table. I wanted to yell at them to piss or get off the pot, but they wouldn’t have the first clue about what that meant.
Thanks to Hannah, I did.
The front desk attendant hadn’t returned, but I spotted Kristin walking toward Hannah’s office. “Kris,” I called out as I left the desk. She would be more helpful anyway.
Kristin looked shocked to see me. I couldn’t quite tell if it was plain old shock or the “ oh shit, he’s here before we have the grave ready” kind of shock.
“Kristin, hey,” I said, trying to catch up to her.
“What do you want?” she snapped .
“Hannah Jane.” There was no sense in beating around the bush. “I need to talk to her. Is she here?”
Kristin crossed her arms. “And why on God’s green earth do you think I’d help the likes of you?”
I surrendered, hands up, ready to take the blows. “I know. I fucked up, but I need to see her.”
She sighed and looked at her phone. “A wedding rehearsal just started out in the courtyard. She probably won’t finish up until at least nine o’clock tonight.”
I turned and started for the courtyard, but Kristin cleared her throat and I skidded to a halt.
“If you don’t want her to skin you alive, I suggest not being a wedding crasher,” Kristin advised.
I glanced at the time. Nine o’clock was hours away, and that made me antsy.
Kristin looked left and then right. She unclipped a key card from the badge reel on her hip and handed it to me. “If anyone asks where you got that, you found it on the ground, and you were on the way to the front desk to return it.” She cracked a smile. “Hannah might run into her office if there’s an emergency, but likely, she won’t be back until she’s ready to leave.”
I took the key card from her. “I owe you big time, Kris.”
Hannah’s office looked the same way it did the night of Maddie and Luca’s wedding.
Funny—I was right back where I started.
Her emergency outfit hung in a garment bag on the coat rack. Tonight it was a black pencil skirt and black chiffon blouse. On the floor was a pair of sensible shoes that she always kept around to change into after the guests left, even though she never did.
Her desk was neatly organized with sticky note reminders. Pretty cursive handwriting swirled across the calendar.
There was a new addition to her desk decor: a mason jar filled with sand sat on the corner of her desk. The glittery label read, Ashes of Problem Employees .
That made me chuckle.
I popped open her desk drawer to find— huh. No champagne.
I checked the mini-fridge. No champagne there either. That would go on the list of things we needed to discuss. Among them, why the hell was she paying for her own coffee again?
Spenser had gotten a call from the manager at Queen’s, saying that Hannah insisted on paying for her own drinks. That pissed me off.
I dozed off in her chair but, by the time eight-thirty rolled around, I was awake and ready for a fight.
The electronic card reader on the door beeped, and I watched the inside handle lower as Hannah pushed her way in.
Her surprise was palpable, as was the confusion that followed. Hurt washed over her before she could get the words out. “What are you doing here?” Her voice was already wavering.
I stood and buttoned my suit coat. “We need to talk.” I took a step forward, but she held her hands out defensively and took a step away from me. I stopped. “Hannah?—”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “You’re giving me whiplash, Isaac,” she whispered.
I approached with slow, deliberate steps. She flinched when we were six inches apart. “Would it make you feel better to know that I watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days on the flight here?”
She bit her lip. I couldn’t tell if she was trying not to laugh or cry.
“And maybe this is the moment in the love story when Matthew McConaughey realizes he can’t lose Kate Hudson, so he drives his bike through traffic to chase down her cab?”
I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Or maybe this is Noah and Allie screaming at each other, and him asking her what she wants. ”
Hannah’s lip quivered.
“Maybe this is Chad Michael Murray running up the bleachers to kiss Hilary Duff. Throwing off everyone else’s expectations and going after his girl.”
Her big brown eyes finally met mine. There were tears welling up, waiting to roll down her cheeks. She swallowed and whispered. “When did you?—”
“Halfway to Tokyo,” I rasped. “I realized that if I chose anything over what I had with you, I’d be a fool.” I slid my fingers into her hair and cradled the back of her head as we stood toe to toe. “I had some time on my hands, so I watched every damn one of those movies you like.”
“Even—”
“Even Bridesmaids. ” I smirked. “It was fucking hilarious.”
Hannah’s smile was watery. I held her forehead against mine and closed my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Han.”
She wrapped her hands around my wrists. I didn’t know if she was holding on for dear life or pushing me away.
“You told me you were sorry when you ended things in my driveway,” she said as she twisted out of my grasp and marched toward her desk. “I don’t need another apology, but if that’s what you came to do, then fine. You said your piece. Please leave me alone.”
“Do you still love me?” I snapped.
Hannah froze mid-stride.
I circled her wrist and yanked her back into my chest. “I asked you a question. Do you still love me?”
The first tear slid down her cheek. “Yeah, I do, okay? I still love you, and it’s going to take a while for me to get over that. And you showing up here uninvited isn’t helping.” Her voice wavered. “Please just go. Do what you do best and walk away.”
“No.”
Her breath hitched. Muscles clenched. She was gearing up for a fight. Good. “What do you mean, no? ” she said with trembling words. They were filled with a potent mix of lust and fury.
“I mean, no—I’m not walking away from you. Not when I still love you too.”
She shook her head and thrashed, desperate to escape my grasp. “Isaac, please.”
It was the please that did me in. “Will you stop being so fucking polite all the goddamn time and just say what you want to say?” I shouted.
“Go!” she yelled again.
“No,” I snapped. “We’re going to have this out right here, right now. I’m all in. So if you walk away, you have to live with that. It’ll be on you this time, not me.”
Her nostrils flared as her temper spiked. She jabbed a finger into my chest. “Don’t act like you’re the one riding in on a white horse to save the day when you’re the one who took a wrecking ball to it in the first place. This isn’t on me.”
I crowded her space and backed her against the wall. Hannah lifted her chin and stared me down. She raised a cocky eyebrow. “Are you gonna call my bluff, or are you going to get out of my face?”
“Bullshit,” I sneered. “You say what happened in your driveway is on me, but we both know you only want a relationship where you have the high ground. You’re so afraid of getting hurt that you want to settle for someone who doesn’t challenge you. I hate to break it to you, Princess, but relationships aren’t eighty-twenty. Hell, they’re not even fifty-fifty. It’s gotta be one hundred percent on both sides. You have to be all in.”
She shoved my chest, and I stumbled back. “You walked away because you couldn’t be all in.”
“Yeah, and that was a mistake. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong.” I grabbed the front of her blouse and yanked her in, crashing her lips against mine. I fisted her hair as she kissed me back with a strange mixture of desire and loathing. I hoisted her skirt up, grabbed her ass, and pinned her against the wall. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and took control, sliding her tongue against mine and digging her nails into my scalp.
The pinch of pain was welcomed. I knew I wasn’t dreaming.
She let out a shaky breath when I blazed a trail of burning kisses down her throat. “Don’t let your mouth write checks that your ass can’t cash, Lawson.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Princess. Understand? You and me, Hannah Jane. Do we have a deal?”
Hannah froze and narrowed her eyes. “If this is you proposing…”
“I’m not proposing,” I laughed, trailing my knuckles along her silky cheek. “I’m just coming to my senses.”
Backing off the wall, I lowered the two of us down in her desk chair. Hannah settled on my lap, her pussy nestled against the hardened length of my cock.
“Where’s your head at?” I asked.
She shrugged and laid her arms on my shoulders, gently playing with the short hair at the back of my neck. “I just… when I walked in, and you were in here…” She sighed. “You caught me off guard. You always do. I was angry and hurt, but it wasn’t because I didn’t love you. I never stopped loving you. I was angry at myself for being so damn stubborn.”
“It’s not wrong to want to feel safe, Han,” I said gently. “But I think you do just fine keeping yourself safe. You need someone to push you to be a little reckless.”
“Would you consider me storming into your office in New York as reckless?” she asked.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “What?”
Hannah smiled sheepishly. “I was going to fly to New York when you got back from Tokyo and give you a piece of my mind. I had this whole speech planned and everything. ”
“Let me guess,” I said, stopping her for just a moment. “You were going to use a lot of thinly veiled insults, so everyone else would think you were being polite.”
“Ignoring that.”
I motioned for her to continue.
“I was going to tell you how much it meant to me to hear you stand up for me. To know that you were on my side when my father tried to back you into a corner. I was going to tell you how much it hurt to hear that even though you love me, it’s not enough to want me the way I want you.” Her voice trailed off.
“Anything else?”
Hannah’s smile was sad. “I was going to tell you that I was foolish that day. You may have been the one to walk away, but I was the one who let you. I should have asked you to stay and fight.” She sucked in a deep breath. “So, I was going to come to you and make one hell of a scene until you heard me out.”
I tucked her hair behind her ears and cradled her cheeks. “You were going to come after me? That’s not how it works in the movies, Princess.”
“Fuck the movies.” Hannah smiled against my chin. I drew her in and bit down on her bottom lip before soothing it with a kiss.
“I gotta say. It would’ve been pretty fucking hilarious for me to have to bail you out when you went ape shit on my building’s security.”
She smirked. “What a way to come out as a couple, right?”
“Just don’t trash my office, alright?” I chuckled. “I’m kind of particular about how it looks.”
Hannah clung to me like a spider monkey and rested her head on my chest. “Once I got through yelling at you, I was gonna tell you that I’d rather have you part-time than not at all.”
“Who says it has to be part-time?” I asked as I laced our fingers together.
She looked up at me and chewed on her lip. I saw the wheels turning. The nerves shadowing what she wanted to say. “Isaac, I love you, but I love my life here too. I’ve worked hard to get where I am in my career. I just—I don’t want to be a trophy wife. I’ve tried so hard not to turn into my mother. I’m not a pretty thing to be kept on a shelf. Wedding planning might not seem like much?—”
“Listen to me,” I said, lifting her ass onto the edge of her desk. “We’re going to talk, then we’re going back to your house, and I’m going to make slow, sweet love to you. Clear?”
… And then fuck you until kingdom come.
She nodded profusely. “Yes, please.”
I wrapped my arms around her thigh and hips and rolled the seat closer. “I will never ask you to give up your life here. I don’t expect you to give up your career either unless you want to.” I searched her eyes to make sure she was tracking with me. The quirk of a smile at the corner of her mouth told me she was pleased. “But you always have a few months over the winter when things are slow, and then a break in July and August when it’s too fucking hot in this damn state to do anything.”
Hannah giggled.
“So, I’m gonna propose a new deal, Princess,” I said as I stood up. “One I think you might like.”
Hannah hopped off the desk, her high heels clicking against the floor. I settled my hands on her hips.
“Your home becomes our home. I kinda like it. We’ll get some advice from Maddie and Luca on how to do the whole work-travel-life balance thing. You’ll have to teach me how to two-step, so I can fit in at Jokers.”
“I’ll take you boot shopping.” She grinned.
“And in the off-season, we do holidays at our place in Manhattan, or wherever in the world you want to go. You can travel with me when you have time off, but I promise you—Beaufort will always be home. And when we’re ready, we’ll do it right. Rings, wedding cake, champagne–all of it. ”
Her lip quivered.
Shit. Had I done this wrong?
“Han—”
“I just gave you an out,” she said quietly. “I told you I was okay with just dating.”
I smiled. “I know a bad deal when I hear it. I want all of you. Always. I love you too much to walk away again.”