Chapter Thirty-One
She was a gift I didn’t deserve, a reward I’d never earned.
Fuck me, she was way too good for me, and yet here she was.
She rubbed herself against my cock again, a wet glide of her body against mine before she suddenly lowered herself down, and that wet heat enveloped my cock.
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. I’ve died. I’ve fucking died and gone to heaven.
Words left my head as I felt her sinking down on me, my eyes fixed on hers as she took me deep inside her.
I felt like we were staring into each other’s souls as we froze in place, my cock inside her right to the hilt, our bodies joined more tightly and intensely than I’d ever imagined possible.
Her beautiful lips had parted in an ‘oh’ as she landed and took all of me inside her.
Did it feel as amazing for her? Was this as momentous for her?
“You’re just the right size for me,” Claudia whispered, leaning closer to kiss me, my arms sliding around her back to hold onto her, and then she moved. Holy fuck, she moved, and it felt like lightning struck me.
“Jesus!”
She smiled, having felt my lips move, but probably unable to read them with her own.
She pulled back to watch me as she lifted and lowered herself again, dragging her pussy along the length of my cock, before landing hard enough that it felt like I hit deep inside her.
I know it felt good, because she moaned and tipped her head back. She liked that. I fucking liked that.
I leaned closer, pressing my lips against her throat, kissing my way around the side to her ear, nipping her lobe as she gasped again and rocked forward, and fuck, that felt amazing too. Holy shit, I’d been missing out on this.
“I need to move,” she hissed, starting to alternate rocking forward with lifting and falling, as her pussy fucked my cock, and my fingers slid down to sink into her ass cheeks, helping her move to bring us both closer and closer to what I was pretty sure would literally make my head explode along with my balls.
This is what I’d been missing my entire life.
This is what I was made for. Her. This. I slid one hand into her hair, pulling her lips to mine, sliding my tongue into her mouth, teasing her with slow kisses as we started to move faster.
As our movements became more frantic, more rushed, kissing became clumsy and awkward, our noses bumping as we moved, but I didn’t care.
I didn’t care about anything except her.
It wasn’t even the fact that I was having sex at last, it was her.
This is why it was the best moment of my entire life.
Second best, in fact, second only to her telling me she chose me.
When she had other options, she still chose me.
“Oh god, Stag, Oh god!”
Yeah, you and me both, baby. I’m about to short circuit from the way this is making me feel. Can too much pleasure kill a person? I think I’m going to… fuck fuck fffuck!
“Oh FUCK!” She started pulsing around me, and after that I was a fucking goner, my cock going off like a fucking rocket, the fuck… don’t think of other brothers while you’re having sex.
I held her tight against me as I came inside a woman for the first time in my life, and I was glad I fucking waited.
I was glad she was the one. Oh god. Pleasure was burning through me, taking my strength with it, making me fall back against the bed, dragging Claudia with me as she uttered a low moan at the sudden movement.
Did it make pure fucking pleasure ripple through her again? I fucking hoped so.
“Oh wow,” she murmured, nuzzling my neck, her hot breaths sending shivers down my neck. Fuck me. That was what I’d waited for. That was what life was all about.
I’m ashamed to say I dozed off like that, my woman draped over me like a human blanket, offering me comfort I never knew I’d needed my whole damn life. Maybe more than I’d needed sex. I needed that. Intimacy. Closeness.
I only woke when she moved, and we both experienced that uncomfortable pulling sensation from cum almost glueing our abdomens together.
My cock must have slid out of her as we slept, but I never felt a damn thing when it happened.
I should have. I should have had my world rocked as we lost that connection. I should have, I’m sure.
“You okay?” I murmured, forgetting that she wasn’t looking at me, and therefore wouldn’t ‘hear’ me. Fuck. I reached for her hand as she moved, waiting for her eyes to find mine, and then check my lips.
“You okay?”
She nodded, a tired smile gracing her lips.
“Just need to use the bathroom, and then get some water. I’m thirsty.”
I reached for my boxers, which were on the floor by the bed, standing up and stepping into them.
“I’ll get water,” I said, waiting for her nod to say she’d ‘heard’ me.
She looked so fucking sexy walking naked to the bathroom, her pert butt cheeks moving tantalisingly as she walked.
As she reached the doorway of the bathroom, she glanced over her shoulder, catching me watching her, a tiny grin appearing on her lips. Oh yeah, she liked me watching her.
“Water, Stag.” Fuck. Yeah, water.
It was only when we were curled up in bed together, hydrated, relaxed, and so fucking close you’d struggle to breathe air between us, that I realised I wasn’t falling.
Hadn’t been falling this whole time. I was already in love, and I think that happened the first time we actually spoke.
I think the falling part was the brief moments before that, but I was firmly in love with this woman.
Straight after sex didn’t feel like the right time to tell her, because it’d seem like my words were sexually motivated.
Even more than that, was any time the right time when she was dealing with so much?
Would it add extra pressure for her? Make her feel like she had to focus on me, and us, when she had enough stuff playing on her already? This time sleep failed me completely.
Claudia
Iwoke up in the almost darkness, my hand pressed against the pillow, the empty pillow, instead of Stag’s body.
He’d left the bed. It wasn’t dark because he’d put a light on in the hall, enough to add ambient light for me, without waking me with it.
He was always so selfless, so caring. But why wasn’t he here beside me?
I got up and grabbed his discarded t-shirt, slipping it over my head, and smiling as a waft of his scent teased my nostrils. It wasn’t a cologne, I don’t think. Maybe some anti-perspirant or something. It was a fresh smell, but so undeniably him.
I crossed the bedroom, and pulled the door fully open, seeing no sign of him in the hallway, and the other rooms were dark, no light peeping under doors. I headed downstairs, my feet sinking into the plush carpet as I moved.
I found him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, eating an apple.
“Oh shit, I just slept with a serial killer.”
His head shot up, and the knife he held, with a slice of apple still on it, froze in his hand.
“Huh?”
“Only serial killers eat apple from the knife blade like that. It’s a well-known fact,” I said as I padded across the heated wooden floor. It felt amazing on my feet, because we all know how shocking a cold floor is to bare feet.
“This is a perfectly normal way to eat an apple,” Stag said, slicing off another piece and tipping the blade to pass the slice into his mouth.
“Normal is biting it,” I said lightly, leaning over to swipe the next slice and pop it in my mouth. It was crunchy and fresh and delicious.
Stag grinned. “Call me abnormal then. I can’t stand the sound of someone biting into an apple. It’s too obnoxious, even if I’m the asshole doing it. You want something to drink?”
I shook my head, leaning against the opposite counter for the briefest second, before icy cold granite made me grimace and step away from it.
“You were gone.”
Stag tossed the apple core in the recycling bin, and tossed the knife in the sink, stalling, I think.
“Stag?”
He turned and sighed, leaning against the counter again.
“My mind was too busy, so I couldn’t sleep.”
Was that a bad thing? It felt like a bad thing. Was he overthinking, or was he regretting? Was it not as good for him as I’d hoped? Did I take over too much? Did I pressure him into it? Did he wish we hadn’t slept together at all?
A light tap on my wrist pulled me from my thoughts, and I lifted my head to watch Stag’s lips.
“You’re overthinking what I said, I think?
You seemed to shut down right after I spoke.
I don’t mean anything that happened was a bad thing.
It’s literally the opposite. Jesus, how to say things without fucking up.
That’s always my issue, like I said. What kept me awake was knowing I’ve fallen completely in love with you, and wondering if telling you adds pressure you don’t need.
And now instead of just wondering, I’ve blurted it out like a prick, and probably done that anyway!
” He dragged a hand through his hair and fisted it as he closed his eyes, agitation tightening his jaw.
“Stag-”
His eyes were still closed, but he replied before I could finish.
“No, you don’t have to say anything about that.
I didn’t say it to give you something to worry about.
This is my shit. They always joke about falling for the first woman you fuck, but this isn’t like that.
The love came first. You get that right?
” His eyes shot open, practically imploring me to understand, to grasp the fact he was desperate to get across.
“You do get that the love came first? I might joke around and be a dick, but I loved you this whole time. Sex was just like the icing on the fucking cake. This wasn’t some kneejerk thing, where I’m this pathetic loser who falls for the first woman he sleeps with.
Even without the sex, I loved you. I do love you. ”
It was strange for him to get so agitated about telling me the one thing I think I really needed to hear right now, or maybe always needed to hear, because control and obsession aren’t love.
This is love. A man so broken up over blurting out the truth, the beautiful truth, is love.
He’s more concerned about pressuring me, or me thinking he’s just saying it, than the fact that he’s baring his soul to me.
“Stag, please listen, Stag!” I spoke over what was more of the same, finally darting forward to press a hand over his mouth, silencing him, silencing what he thought was his only method of communication with me.
He didn’t realise that every smile, every gaze, and every touch told me that.
He didn’t realise that the way he empowered me to feel normal said that.
He didn’t realise that every time he made an effort to only speak when I looked at him said that.
Even that time in the bath, when he thought I couldn’t see him speaking, he took that embarrassment for what it was, and owned up to his feelings.
The fact that his club brothers and their judgemental women were missing this side of him was purely their fault.
It was all there to see. It was all right there, and maybe they were missing it by not missing a sense, but as his family, they should try harder to see the wonderful man they called brother.
“I love you, Stag. I think I’ve wanted to say it a while too, but didn’t want to make you feel trapped with me, because you’re young, and this is a relationship full of firsts for you.
I love that you said it first, but I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t say it when you realised.
I think as direct as we can both be, we still both hold back sometimes, maybe because we’re used to the others around us expecting that.
Why don’t we just make it a rule between the two of us to just be open and clear, and deal with the fallout of that later? ”
Stag nodded, cupping my face in both palms.
“Then I need to say something else. An apology. I feel like such a dick.”
“What? Why?”
He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs.
“Because I was just complaining about the sound of a person eating an apple, and that feels like such a fucking offensive thing to say to someone who’d probably relish being able to hear that, to hear anything. I try so hard, but I always fuck up.”
Oh this sweet, sweet man. How could he think those things would matter? Again, probably because to everyone else he knew, they might.
“I’m not them. I don’t offend easily, and I’m deaf. I’m used to it. I’ve accepted it. I, at least, can quite happily sit beside someone eating an apple, and not suffer.”
Stag’s lips quirked up and he leaned forward to press a kiss to my forehead, then lower, on the tip of my nose, and then he took my lips, drawing me into an apple-flavoured kiss that went from sweet to spicy in an instant.
My breathing was rasping by the time he pulled back to look at me.
“Can we go back to bed? Can we do it again?”
Hell yes.