26—Pittsburgh （Some Random Street）
“You’re already ten minutes late for bus call,” Travis grumbles. “Please just let us search for him. We promise to keep you updated.”
“Not a chance,” I say from the back seat of our vehicle. “Keep driving.”
J-Dawg has been suspiciously quiet while Travis and I argued since leaving the venue to search for Val. He must be the smarter of my two trusted bodyguards because he’s figured out that there will be no talking me out of this. Once Paige told me what their parents did to my boyfriend, the war was on. Even Steve stepped up and agreed to cover for me with the tour folks as much as possible.
I’ve sent Val at least a dozen texts, but so far haven’t received a response. My calls are going straight to voicemail. I’m scared, as are my knees that keep bouncing and my teeth that keep chewing on my thumbnail.
“Wait, is that him?!” I cry, pressing my face against the window.
“Where?” Travis asks in an exasperated tone. So what if this is the forty-third time I thought I spotted my missing producer on the crowded streets. Statistically speaking, it’s still the same odds that it’s him as all the other times. I think. I don’t actually know much about statistics stuff.
“There! With the cowboy hat!”
“Have you ever seen him wear a cowboy hat?” Travis asks dryly.
“No, but he’s smart. Maybe he’s disguising himself so we don’t think it’s him.”
The glow of the downtown city lights clearly illuminates the look they exchange.
Fine. I know I’m sounding a tad desperate, but it’s because I am. Val has fought and overcome so much in his life—in these last few days, even. If this latest blow was enough to knock him down, it’s worth being worried.
My phone dings, and my gaze darts to the screen. But it’s Paige, not her brother. Maybe she and Nash are having more luck with their search?
Paige: Nothing yet. You?
Darn.
Me: Nothing. Unless you think he’d wear a cowboy hat as a disguise?
I squint at the guy through my tinted window. Maybe…? I suppose the person is too short, too round, and too nothing like Val to be Val.
Paige: Unlikely.
Darn.
“There!” I cry, lowering my phone. “At the café table!”
“Larinda, please. I know you’re?—”
“Shit, she’s right,” J-Dawg interrupts. “Pull over!”
My heart slams against my ribs as Travis hits the brakes and double-parks beside a red sedan.
“You stay here,” J-Dawg says, then stops when he realizes I’m already climbing out of the car.
“Larinda!” he calls, but I ignore him as I slip between the line of vehicles to reach the curb.
I know I’m getting looks. Not sure if it’s because I’m Larinda Scott or because I’m wearing a sequined bustier with sweatpants (which was as far as I got in my post-show wardrobe change when Nash and Paige called). Either way, none of it matters. All that matters is the guy at an empty café table, his fingers locked in his hair, staring blankly at the rusted metal surface.
“Val?” I say gently as I approach.
His head shoots up in a startled search, and when his broken gaze lands on me, I forget all about our audience. Who cares what they think? This is the only opinion I need right now.
“Larinda?” He pushes to his feet. “What are you?—”
I cut him off as I pull him in for a hug. “Paige told me. I’m so sorry.”
He’s silent as I squeeze tighter.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he says quietly.
“Where else would I be?”
I feel his chest deflate in a heavy exhale. “I… It’s nothing. I’m sorry for making you worry.”
“Stop it. It’s not nothing. It’s horrible what they did, and it kills me that I wasn’t there for you.”
“There’s nothing you could have done. It’s my own fault for trusting them. I should have?—”
“No,” I hiss, forcing his gaze to mine. “Don’t you ever apologize for having faith in something and trying to see the good in people. Your beautiful, genuine soul is one of the things I love most about you, and I hate them for stripping that away and using it against you. Their ugliness is on them, not you.”
He lowers his eyes, and his silence sends a shiver down my spine. Something heavy is worming its way through his brain and it scares the crap out of me.
“Hey, what’s going through that head of yours?” I ask, brushing his cheek.
His eyes flicker to me, but there’s no truth in his weak smile.
“Nothing. Just… how did you find me?”
“We looked.”
“You just drove around until you saw some loser at a table?”
“Yes, actually. And you’re not a loser. You’re my boyfriend and the love of my life.”
When his brow furrows in confusion, I know I’m losing this battle.
“Val, please. I know you’re not okay.”
“I’m fine. Thanks for coming for me. You should get back, though.”
His cryptic response does nothing to soothe the ache in my chest. I feel the slight tremble in his body, see the way his jaw clenches like he’s fighting strong emotions. He doesn’t want me to know the truth, but the truth is clawing to come out.
His parents lied to him.
Used him.
Humiliated him.
The very people who were supposed to protect him?—
“They don’t want me.”
I wince and look up to see his gaze fixed on some distant object.
“Sometimes I’m not sure if anyone does. People say they do, but…”
“But what?”
“I’m always a secret.”
His voice is barely audible as he blinks back more tears. “Why does loving me always have to be a secret? Why does it always come with a punishment?”
Oh god.
“Val,” I whisper. “That’s not true…”
My defense dissolves at his sharp look, because… he’s right.
A cold chill moves through me as his words sink in. I don’t want it to be true, but I’ve seen the punishment his sister gets for choosing him, how he downplays relationships to protect others.
Even with me, the one who claims to love him more than anyone, he’s a dangerous secret. A risk I haven’t been willing to take. Not really. I say I would, but like everyone else in his life, I’ve chosen my career over him. He asked me not to throw everything away for him because that’s who he is, but the choice was there for me this entire time. At any moment, I could have chosen him. I could have said no. But I took the easy road. As always, I took the path of least resistance and did what was expected, even if it wasn’t what I wanted. Even if it hurt someone I claimed to love.
His green eyes are full of the hurt of always being second. Of always being the “wrong” choice even though he deserves to be the only choice.
I’ve spent twenty-six years afraid to say no.
Twenty-six years afraid to be who I am and face the pain necessary to have the life I want.
Before he can stop me, I climb on the chair and wave my arms.
“Excuse me, everyone!” I shout. “May I have your attention, please!”
A crowd gathers, and I wait until I have the attention of at least two dozen strangers. Travis and J-Dawg look ready to tackle me and drag me away, so I better make this quick.
“Hello, everyone. I’m Larinda Scott and this is my producer, Val Andrews. I just want you to know that he’s one of the most incredible people you will ever meet and I’m completely and hopelessly in love with him. He’s my boyfriend, and I wake up every morning convinced I’m the luckiest person in the world that he’s mine.”
Val looks equal parts amazed and horrified as the audience breaks into an awkward applause. From this vantage point, I can also see the sour expressions of my bodyguards who have made space around my impromptu stage. Their faces are about to turn more sour.
“Thank you for your time,” I say. “I would so appreciate it if you could please spread the word. Also, would anyone like an autograph or photo before I head back to my tour bus?”
“What are you doing?” Val hisses as he helps me down from the chair. “This is going to get back to Jarvis and Lakebend!”
“Yep.” I take the pen and paper being shoved at me by a teenage girl.
“They’re going to drop you!”
“Probably.”
Next, I sign something I’m pretty sure is a takeout menu. Sushi. Yum.
“Can we get a picture?” the woman asks.
“Of course! You mind?” I ask Val, who returns a hard look.
But he’s Val, so instead of being a jerk, he takes the stranger’s phone and snaps a photo of me sandwiched between her and her companion.
“Thanks! It was so great meeting you! And congrats on your new boyfriend,” she says.
I return a smile and address the next person.
By now, Travis and J-Dawg have transitioned into fan-publicity mode, subtly moving people along while also providing a barrier of protection. They really are the best. They’re even doing a great job of looking appropriately intimidating, professional, and not mad at me.
“She shouldn’t have said that. And now she’s going to miss bus call,” Val says to Travis, panic in his voice.
“She already did,” Travis grunts.
“What?! Larinda!” Val tugs my arm, but before he can say more, I drop a kiss on his concerned frown.
“I’m choosing you,” I say.
His eyes widen. “What?”
“I’m choosing you. Over everything else. You are my number one, Perceval Andrews. I should have done this from the beginning, and I’m sorry. But I’m doing it now. It’s my life and my choice, and I’m choosing you.”
I fight back a smile as I return to signing autographs and imploding my career.
“Don’t bother arguing with her,” Travis says to Val. “This is her new thing.”
My grin breaks as Val mumbles a bewildered response I can’t fully make out.
I should be terrified right now. He’s correct. There will be no coming back from this. For all intents and purposes, my career as Larinda Scott Country Music Superstar is over as I know it. Even worse, I’ve played right into Jarvis’ evil narrative and gave him the ammunition he wanted to catapult his career to a level he doesn’t deserve. I should be scared and mourning and running to my manager to start damage control, but that’s not the thought blaring through my head. Something bigger just happened. Something so monumental and life-changing, it makes career sabotage seem petty.
I made a choice, and no matter the consequences, it was the right one because it was mine. I didn’t just say no to being held hostage by other people’s demands and expectations. I said hell no, and it feels amazing.
Whatever happens, I’m already lighter for shedding what I don’t want, to chase something I do. By being afraid to stand up for myself, I’ve let a toxic reality govern my existence, and now that it’s melting away, I feel liberated, not scared. If I get dropped by Lakebend, so what? It will free me to date Val without threats, fear, and repercussions. We can also do our music without having to fight the mold at every new idea and burst of creativity. And Jarvis? Fine. Maybe it’s worth being branded a cheater to eject him from my life once and for all. I know the truth and so does everyone who matters.
Strong arms wrap around me from behind, and I lean into the security of my future. A future I want. A future I flippin’ chose.
“If this is what you want, I will support you,” Val says at my ear. “I will always support you no matter what.”
Warmth floods through me as I settle against him.
“And I will always choose you no matter what.”
He’s quiet for a second, his cheek still resting against mine from behind. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Yep.”
His soft laugh is everything as it rumbles through me. “You ready to go back to the bus and blow shit up?” he asks.
“Bombs away,” I say with a grin.
“Love, man,” J-Dawg mumbles, shaking his head.