Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Camilla squinted behind her goggles, grateful for the tinted lenses that shielded her eyes from the glare as they ascended the slope in the ski lift.
Despite the chill, she felt overheated in her ski gear, her face flushed with more than just the cold.
All morning, she'd been trying to work up the courage to talk to Jade about what had transpired between them the night before.
Each time she opened her mouth to broach the subject, however, the words died on her tongue.
How could it feel so casual to pretend to be gay, yet so terrifying to admit she may actually have real feelings for a woman?
She glanced at Jade, who was gazing out at the mountain vistas with a content smile.
Camilla's breath caught as she took in Jade's profile - the gentle slope of her nose, the curve of her lips, the wisps of blonde hair escaping from beneath her helmet.
When had she started noticing these details?
When had simply looking at Jade begun to make her pulse quicken?
"Beautiful view, isn't it?" Jade said, turning to catch Camilla staring.
Camilla quickly averted her gaze, grateful that her goggles concealed the panic in her eyes. "Y-yes, it's stunning," she managed to stammer out.
Jade reached over and took Camilla's gloved hand in hers, interlacing their fingers. The gesture, which should have felt staged for the benefit of keeping up appearances, instead sent a shockwave of arousal through Camilla's body.
She tried to steady her breathing, acutely aware of every point of contact between them.
This was ridiculous. They'd been far more intimate than this over the past few days - hugs, kisses on the cheek, even cuddling in bed.
So why did something as innocuous as handholding suddenly feel so monumental?
Camilla cleared her throat. "Jade, I've been meaning to talk to you about-"
But before she could finish her thought, Jade leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Camilla's cheek. "Sorry," she murmured, her lips brushing Camilla's skin as she spoke. "I saw your uncle Robert getting on the lift behind us. Gotta keep up appearances, right?"
Camilla nodded mutely, her intended words evaporating like mist. She was hyper-aware of Jade's proximity, the warmth of her breath, the lingering tingle where her lips had made contact. Was it her imagination, or was Jade being far more tactile today than she had been previously?
As if to confirm her suspicions, Jade shifted closer, draping an arm around Camilla's shoulders and pulling her into the crook of her arm.
"This is nice," she said softly. "I'm really enjoying myself up here. Last night was lovely too - I slept so well." She paused, then added with a hint of mischief in her voice, "You make an excellent teddy bear, by the way."
Camilla felt her face flame at the reminder of how they'd woken up tangled together. "I... I'm glad you slept well. I did too."
Jade lifted her goggles and turned to look at her then, and their eyes met.
Camilla was captivated by the depth in her gaze, even partially obscured by her goggles.
There was something there, an intensity that made Camilla's breath hitch.
She watched, as if in slow motion, as Jade's eyes lowered to her lips.
For one heart-stopping moment, Camilla was certain Jade was going to kiss her - really kiss her, not just for show. She saw a flicker of what could only be desire in Jade's expression, and her own lips parted involuntarily in anticipation.
Before Camilla could process what was happening, Jade leaned in and pressed her lips to Camilla's. It was longer than their usual performative pecks, but still just a light brush of lips against lips. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but to Camilla, it felt like an eternity.
When Jade pulled back, Camilla was left shaking. The boundaries between their pretend relationship and whatever was developing between them had become hopelessly blurred, and she no longer knew what was real and what was just for show. She was losing control of the situation.
"You okay?" Jade asked, a note of concern in her voice.
Camilla forced a smile. "Yeah. I think so. I’m just…" She swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. Failing to find the right way to express how she felt, she simply said the one thing she knew was true. “I like it when you kiss me.”
Jade just stared at her, seemingly at a loss for words.
Camilla bit her lip and winced. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm being silly and getting carried away with this pretend stuff." She groaned. “Fuck. I’m so embarrassed, I just want to burry myself into the snow.
"No, don’t be," Jade said, squeezing her hand.
"I'm glad you told me." She gently removed Camilla's goggles, her eyes searching Camilla's face intently.
"I like kissing you too. Really like it, actually.
" She paused, her gaze flickering between Camilla's eyes and lips. "We should probably talk about this."
“Yeah.” Camilla nodded. "Yes, we should.” She glanced ahead for a beat, seeing they were nearing the top of the lift. "Later?"
"Later," Jade agreed. With a moment of hesitation, she leaned in and kissed Camilla again.
This time, there was no mistaking it for part of their act.
The kiss was long and lingering, filled with tenderness and heavy breaths between them as their lips brushed with a gentle pressure.
Jade's gloved hand came up to cup her face, her thumb caressing her cheekbone.
The world seemed to fall away as they melted into each other, and there was an undeniable intensity to the kiss - a restrained passion simmering just below the surface.
Camilla's heart raced as she savored the warmth of Jade's lips, the subtle brush of her nose against her cheek.
She could feel Jade's breath, quick and shallow, mingling with her own.
A trembling energy took hostage of her, a sense of longing that made Camilla ache to deepen the kiss.
As they reluctantly parted, their eyes met with a shared look of wonder and barely restrained want.
The kiss may have been innocent by some standards, but its impact was profound, and they were so lost in each other that they almost missed their cue to disembark.
At the last second, they fumbled to grab their poles and slide off the lift just in time.
As they moved to the side, catching their breath, Camilla couldn't help but laugh at their near mishap. Jade joined in, their shared amusement a release of the tension that had been building between them.
“We can take it easy on the slopes today if you want,” Jade said. “No need to race me down the mountain again."
"No!" Camilla shook her head. "I mean, no, that's okay. I'm looking forward to our rematch."
The idea of racing down the mountain, wind whipping past them as they navigated the twists and turns of the slope together, was incredibly appealing. At least when they were skiing, she had something other to focus on than the steamy fantasies that now filled every corner of her mind.
They stood at the top of the slope, adjusting their gear and taking in the challenge. The pristine white snow stretched out before them, promising a thrilling descent, but Camilla’s mind was already racing ahead to the conversation they would have later.
"What do you say we head back to the house a bit earlier than everyone else? Maybe we can share a bottle of wine and talk privately? It’s so hard to get a moment to ourselves when my family is around."
"That sounds perfect," Jade said, offering a small smile.
As they turned their attention back to the slope, preparing to push off, Camilla felt a spark of hope amidst the whirlwind of emotions.
Whatever happened next, whatever this thing between them turned out to be, at least they would figure it out together.