Chapter 5
Five
Outside, brisk night air soothed my fevered brow, the whispering wind a welcome change to the stagnant tension of the last hour. My mind raced as I made a leisurely pace to the stables behind the hotel, knowing on instinct that Alex would’ve sought solitude with his equine charges.
Was I this far past a live feed that I felt so out of control? Ticking back the days since my last meal in Boston, it wasn’t an abnormal window for me. And yet I’d nearly killed that woman—a fangling mistake I’d not made in some centuries.
Nearing the stables, I paused beneath the moonlight, listening to the shuffling snorts of the mares inside, the rustling hedges, the low chatter of the fanglings as they went about their duties inside.
If I chose to, I could home in on their individual conversations, but much like it was rude to read a human’s mind without invitation, it would be rude to eavesdrop on the teens.
They would most likely be discussing my behavior that evening, and I wasn’t sure I wanted that feedback just yet.
Something floated back to me in memory—something about Billy’s last visit to Ashbourne, and how he’d felt like a fresh fangling barely in control of his overwhelming powers.
Had making amends with his dirt solved that sensation?
Or had it simply removed the problem of the earth trying to swallow him at every opportunity?
Yes, there was something about this place that tilted even my vampiric expectations of normal.
Alex was leading a chestnut mare from the stables as I approached.
I stilled, watching the fangling and the beast. Intuitive animals like horses were often terrified of our kind, but there was some distilled bloodline in Ashbourne breeds that empowered them with an unexpected fortitude—or Alex and Billy were able to speak to animals.
Both seemed equally likely at my current crossroads.
I cleared my throat loudly from a few feet away, bracing myself for the horse’s scream and consequent kicking tantrum. Instead, Alex tilted his head lazily in my direction, nodded, and continued leading the horse toward a massive, fenced enclosure beyond the stables.
“I’d like to speak to you,” I called after him, still rooted to the spot with indecision.
“Then speak.” Alex called over his shoulder, leaving me no choice but to follow him and the creature at what I deemed an out-of-kicking distance.
“What you saw tonight—it clearly upset you.” I practically yelled, stepping quickly to keep up, but stopping short when I felt I was too close. The horse gave no signs of distress from what I could tell, but twitched its ears back at the sound of my voice. What did that mean?
“It was upsetting.” He didn’t so much as turn around.
I continued my awkward dance behind him, trying to angle around the side to give the horse a wide, berth but to still catch up to the fangling.
Alex stopped abruptly, leaving me to quickstep on top of my own feet, now suddenly in front of him, my ankles twisting beneath me.
I finally caught myself by pinwheeling my arms before planting them more gracefully on my waist. I flinched as the horse snorted derisively.
“Are you afraid of horses?” Alex’s disdain was clear despite his hidden face.
“It’s generally the other way around,” I said, eyeing the animal. Its ears were forward, tail swishing lazily behind it.
“Not in Ashbourne.” We stayed that way a moment—me waiting for Alex to say more, silence stretching between us. Finally, he broke. “Can you move? It’s Sally’s turn for the pasture.”
“On the condition you talk with me when Sally is enclosed.” I didn’t like bargaining with a student, much less one holding the rope to such a massive animal.
“Professor, I have a lot of work to finish—”
“Your work doesn’t trump your studies.” It was a power move now, but it was true. I would have to have a larger conversation with the nest about what they witnessed tonight, but none had seemed as shaken as the fangling with the horses.
I assumed he rolled his eyes behind his hair before answering in a huff.
“Fine.” He barely waited for me to sidestep before trudging past me with the mare, finessing the enclosure gate with one strong arm.
The two stood in the entrance a moment, the horse draping its head affectionately over his shoulder as he whispered to it, patting its thick neck.
After another moment, Alex ducked free of its massive embrace, unhooking the rope and patting it firmly on the rump as it trotted by.
Looping the rope easily around his arm, the fangling secured the enclosure before turning to me and planting himself in the dirt. “Alright,” he said. “Talk.”
“Clearly you’re upset by what you saw tonight,” I tried again. Alex simply nodded. “And I wanted to help answer any questions you might have—help you process the shock of it, if that would help.”
“It won’t.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Nothing helps with any of this.”
“What do you mean?” Alex had a robust nest that had turned with him at the same time, a gentle and devoted mentor in Billy, and employment that both protected his identity and seemed to bring him joy. What else could he need help with?
“Some of us didnae want this.”
“I assumed none of you did, given the scene of your turning. But your fellow fanglings seem to have accepted it more easily than you have.”
Alex kicked dirt with the toe of his shoe, pulling the silence between us like a shroud.
I let my shoulders drop, tucking a hand into my pocket to avoid fiddling awkwardly. “Most of our kind were not turned willingly. You’ll find the percentage who signed up for this to be a shockingly thin sliver. But we make do with our circumstance and with time—”
“I didnae want time. I didnae want this.” Alex’s words seethed between his teeth.
“I remember those days,” I said, looking over the fangling’s head to the starry sky above.
“Furious at the supposed gift of everlasting life tied to the curse of outliving everyone I would ever know or love, carrying nothing more than memories with me from century to century. I toyed with ending it countless times, if only to put to rest the never-ending ache in my chest, the constant emptiness.”
I could feel Alex’s gaze on me, but he stayed silent. In the pasture, Sally ripped a mouthful of grass like tearing flesh from skin, chewing just as loudly as any predator. I winced but rubbed a hand over my face as I continued.
“I missed the sun more than anything. You know I’m Italian?” Alex shook his head. “An Italian man without the sun’s touch to his skin may as well be dead.”
“So why aren’t you?” His voice was barely more than a whisper, the rasp in his throat telling more than his words could.
I shrugged. “I’m still not always sure of that answer. But I have learned to craft a fulfilling life.”
“Helping vampires?” Alex’s hands dropped from their crossed position, returning to fiddle with the lead rope on his shoulder.
“Not just our kind, but other unusualities as well. I run a society in Boston that helps look out for magical and supernatural kind among humans. We’ve helped each other through more than one catastrophe in the past few years—Billy, too.
” I half smiled at the memory of the chaotic crew probably getting into more trouble at that exact moment—the two mershark brothers, the leprechaun duchess, the dwarf baker, her werewolf friend, and the troll who had recently won the heart of a Greek siren woman.
“They’ll all die before you. What’s the point?” Alex returned to kicking the dirt, twisting his toe back and forth on a rock.
“Everyone will die before me, Alex. At least I will have fond memories of our time together rather than the foul ones I carry from my early days. You would do well to learn from my mistakes and form as many good ones now as you can.” As I said it, I tried my best to banish the memory of boots in my ribs, of screaming, fevered women left in the street, of the blood and gore of a nation forming from greed and hunger.
“I didnae think watching you kill a horny woman is a good memory.”
“She’s not dead, I promise.” I paused, choosing my next words carefully. “What are you so afraid of becoming, Alex?” This time, I let the silence stretch, twisting and roiling in the night air until the fangling dropped his shoulders, re-looping the rope in his hands.
“Meet me at the village pub around four. It’s just easier to show you.”
“That’s barely an hour before sunrise. Risky behavior for our kind.” I arched my eyebrows. “I trust this is important?”
He nodded resolutely. “It is.”
On my walk back to the hotel, I noted that only two rooms were lit in the endless glistening rows of black windows. One was mine, surely, but I was startled to see the other so close. Miss Amato must’ve been placed on the same floor.
Without much forethought, I cleared the distance to the hotel in a few easy moments, leaping from floor to floor until I arrived outside the noted second window.
I clung there, digging my fingers into the thin space around the sill, perched like some Gothic horror.
Miss Amato had the curtains drawn against the dark, but I could see her shapely silhouette slipping back and forth like a seductive shadow.
“Let me in,” I urged, putting only the softest of compels on the command.
Her shadow froze before growing larger until the drapes parted in a single sharp motion.
Miss Amato, cigarette hanging from her lips, face freshly washed, wrapped in one of the plush hotel robes, arched a single thin brow at me.
She popped a hip, plucking the cigarette easily between two fingers and gesturing with it to the window.
“Please?” I mouthed against the glass. She gave me a catlike smirk before unlatching the window and gesturing for me to enter. It was all the “invite” I needed, the window sliding easily as I slipped in.