Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ariana
“Let me see it!” Arden squeals excitedly, dropping her lunch bag on the counter and scurrying toward the couch. I hand her my list and she takes it, refusing to drop onto the sofa until she changes out of her scrubs. It’s one of her rules. She winces a bit at what she sees.
“I can’t write like you!” I defend myself because I know what that look is for.
She made the outline of my list gorgeous and artistic, and I ruined it with my horrible handwriting and a blue pen that didn’t match the black titles she’d perfectly crafted.
But I was working with what I had, and the only pen I had in my room was blue.
It’s not my fault that I have a doctor's chicken scratch, either.
“It’s fine, it was just a shock to the system,” she murmurs, reading it over. Her brows raise to her hairline. “Your first choice is to stay in Pittsburgh?”
I shrug. For many reasons, the biggest being my brother.
The second is that I’d be farther away from my parents for longer periods of time.
I think that’s the ultimate goal here. The way to achieve actual happiness for myself.
Again, I love my parents, but their expectations are suffocating for two people who were barely around.
“Selfishly, I’m glad to hear that,” Arden says. Her attention goes back to the list, and she starts nodding with each point. “Ariana, this is great. You can achieve all of this. I set alerts for positions in the area related to your field. I can forward you the open ones now.”
“You’ve been monitoring my job prospects?”
“I wanted you to be ready to jump into action once you decided. I was hoping you’d tell me you wanted to stay close. I saved all the ones with a competitive salary similar to the job you left. Some are probably negotiable.”
I stare at her, a smile pulling on my lips. “You didn’t have to do that.”
She shoots me a look. “You’re my sister. Of course, I did.”
I ignore the burn in my chest and reach for my list. She hands it over, somehow managing not to cringe at the ugliness of it when she looks at it for the last time. I study my goals, my dreams, and my smile slowly lessens.
“What?”
I glance up at her. “Hm? Oh, nothing.”
“Nothing?” she asks slowly. “What was that look for?”
I shut the notebook and shake my head.
“You left stuff out, didn’t you?” she asks, narrowing her eyes at me. “Some big dreams? Because you thought you couldn’t pull them off?”
“Are you a mind reader?”
She stares at me. “The point of the list is to write down every single goal, no matter how big. Whatever you left out, put it in there. Now.”
“Arden—”
She snatches the notebook from me and rips it open, sliding the pen out of the binding. She shudders at my penmanship again, but manages to shift her focus so she can look at me expectantly over the top of the paper. “Go on.”
I glare at her, but she doesn’t budge. She waits.
I roll my eyes. “I want to start my own firm. Make it a safe space for women to work. Know that I’m providing a healthy workplace for my staff.”
Arden’s eyes spark to life, a smile hitting her mouth. “Yes. That’s what I’m talking about.”
“I’d have to go back to school. Do something with business,” I add, and she starts jotting things down quickly. I guarantee her writing can’t look pretty when she does it that fast. “I want to…make my brother proud of me.”
She pauses, dark eyes flashing to mine. “What?”
“I want him to be proud of me. Like he used to be.”
“Ari,” she says softly, lowering the notebook. “He is proud of you. Getting fired is a part of life. It happens for a multitude of different reasons. That isn’t enough to make him feel any differently toward you. You’re his best friend.”
My heart tightens at the term. “Not only with my job but…with the rest of it. I know he hates that piece of me. That he always has to worry about me.”
“Who you date isn’t his business,” she reminds me, but then lets out a breath and lowers herself to the edge of the coffee table. “But you can do a lot better than you choose to do. You can let yourself fall in love, Ari. With a good man.”
I smile tightly, shaking my head. “I don’t ever want to fall in love. That’s the problem.”
She taps her fingers on the notepad. “Fine, but I’m not writing that one down, because I hear how he talks about you behind your back and your brother thinks you’re the most outstanding person in the world. He’s already proud of you. Every part of you. So, that’s not going on the list.”
A broken, bruised part of me warms. “Fine.”
She dips her chin, tossing the book back into my lap, and I balk when I see her perfect cursive, shaded and styled—there is the doodle of a little book next to the schooling part, and pretty little pictures in the margins.
“How do you do that?” I gasp, studying it.
She gets to her feet with a shrug, heading to her room to shower. “It’s a gift!”
Carter gets home around two in the afternoon.
Arden is in their room, asleep, to prepare for her shift tonight. He strolls in with a box of donuts identical to the one I dropped a couple of weeks ago, and pulls out a double chocolate—because he knows me too well. He delivers it with an iced coffee.
I’m on my laptop, looking at the job postings that Arden sent me, and he notices.
“Where?” he asks, dropping onto the couch next to me.
I bite into my donut, glancing at him. “Here.”
He stares at me for a moment, and then a big, dopey grin stretches across his face. Excitement blooms in his eyes. Maybe he is still proud of me.
“Really?” he asks.
“I’d like to stay closer to you and Arden.”
He smiles wider, and my eyes sting, realizing it’s relief on his face. He wanted that to be my choice. He wanted me to stay, despite all the headaches and late nights spent driving him crazy.
“Best news all week,” he says, holding out his hand. We smack our hands together twice and do our full handshake, and when we’re done, he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Since we’re announcing things, I have something to tell you.”
I pause, my face falling into lethal seriousness. “You’re proposing.”
He freezes, eyes widening. “What? No. Not yet. Don’t say that so loudly. What if it was true and she heard that?”
“Relax, she sleeps like the dead.”
“Ari, I’m not kidding. Don’t say shit like that. I’ll tell you when it’s going to happen, okay?”
I raise my brows. “So, you’re thinking about it?”
“Of course I’m thinking about it!” he hisses, lowering his head like his sleeping girlfriend has developed the ability to extend her neck down hallways and around corners. “I’ve been thinking about it since the first time she looked at me. Our time will come. Don’t bring it up again.”
I smile, leaning my head against the cushions. He’s such a hopeless romantic, it’s ridiculous. He took all of that trait in our family tree. Every single morsel of it. He spent forever looking for his Arden, and I’ll spend forever avoiding mine.
“What did you have to tell me?” I ask.
He reaches up and lifts his hat off his head, running his hand over his hair. “How do you feel about a wedding?”
My brow furrows. I slide my laptop onto the coffee table and take another bite of my donut. “I thought you just said you weren’t popping the question?”
“I’m not,” he says, stretching his arms behind him. “Lowesy’s wedding is in a few weeks and I asked Boston to put you down as his plus one.”
I nearly spit chocolate chunks all over the couch. “You what?”
His eyes go stern. “As his plus one, not his date. I want to make that very clear. I’m hoping you’ll come with us. I know how much you love a good wedding. He agreed.”
I cough, swallowing the donut as best as I can. “He said yes?”
Carter is now eying me suspiciously. “As a favour to me, yeah. He’ll be at the head table, so again, you won’t be his date. You understand that, right?”
“I mean,” I say, pursing my mouth and angling my head. “Technically, I will be.”
“Technically, you won’t be shit. You will be a plus one,” he counters, his voice sharp.
“I mean it, Ari. No bullshit with him, okay? The poor guy is terrified of you. I want you at the wedding and he isn’t bringing anyone.
That’s all it is. I’ll pay for your flight and your stay. Just fucking behave, alright?”
My eyes light up, and he instantly realizes his mistake. Boston is terrified of me? Oh, that makes things much more interesting. Much more fun.
“Ariana, please.”
“Fine. Fine!” I hold up my hands in defeat, but I think we both know I will not forget that information. It will be stored until a later date. “You’re lucky I have a little cash saved up. I can buy myself a pretty dress.”
Carter shakes his head. “Focus on paying your bills in California and waiting for your severance package. Go shopping with Arden this weekend. I already told her to take my card so you both can spoil yourselves. Lunch, your dresses, and whatever else you need is on me.”
“Carter—” I go to protest, because his generosity never stops and I can’t keep accepting it. He just said he’s paying for my flight and hotel for a week in Canada, and now my dress?
“Don’t argue with me,” he says, resting his head on the back of the couch. He holds out his hand in request, so I pass him a piece of my donut. His blue eyes dart up to mine. “Let me take care of my girls. Okay?”
I lean my cheek against my shoulder and smile at him, feeling like the ten-year-old who fell in love with volleyball, and whose parents never took it seriously.
I remember looking into the stands at my championship game, where everyone’s parents sat except mine, and seeing an entire hockey team holding signs with my name on it.
Because my brother has always shown up. He’s always taken care of me.
“You know, if you ever have a daughter, you’re absolutely screwed.”
He will be completely wrapped around her finger the moment she opens her eyes.
He snorts, letting out a deep, happy laugh. “Don’t I fucking know it.”