Chapter 62
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
boston
For the second time in one week, there’s a Forkerro on my porch. Only, this one is much bigger, crazier, and has bruised knuckles from beating my face in with his fist.
Carter’s face is a storm cloud when I open the door. This is the first time since I built this place that he’s ever bothered to knock. He scans my face, carefully inspecting every lump and bruise that is still visible.
“You look like shit,” he grumbles, jaw pulsing. “Please tell me the other guy looks worse.”
I stare at him, unsure if he’s joking or if I have permission to laugh.
His expression gives away nothing as I step aside for yet another Forkerro.
This one doesn’t hesitate. Forker walks right into my house, kicks off his shoes before the door is even closed, and storms into my kitchen.
He yanks open my fridge and pulls out a beer, cracking it open as if it’s any other day.
I slowly enter the room, feeling like a stranger in my own home. I don’t know how to have the conversation that follows the catastrophe. I didn’t prepare for this part.
Fork watches me carefully for a second before he rolls his eyes, turns back to the fridge, and grabs a second can. He thrusts it into my hands, heading to the end of my dining room table and dropping himself into the chair.
“I’ve listened to my two favourite women on this planet bitch at me for a solid three weeks straight.”
I slowly bring my beer to my lips, not daring to move any closer to him. I don’t bother interjecting, either. This is his conversation.
“Arden keeps telling me I have anger issues. Ariana told me to play in traffic. I’m nobody’s favourite person at the moment.”
“I’ll take responsibility for everything but the anger issues. You were born with those,” I murmur.
His blue eyes sparkle with relief, but there’s no smile. “You didn’t swing back. Not once. What are you taking responsibility for?”
Sleeping with your sister.
I don’t say that. Despite what you might think, I do not actually have a death wish.
“Everything that lead you to do that.”
He stares at me, his fingers tapping against the can. “Why did you do it?”
Shit. Hard question. Too hard of a question.
“I can’t explain that to you,” I admit, and he rolls his eyes. “Fork, it just happened. She came into my life like a tornado, and I held off until I realized I couldn’t. I tried, man. I wanted to be around her more than I wanted to fucking breathe, but I tried.”
He winces, shaking out his shoulders. “She has that impact.”
“I was wracked with guilt over it. I’m not going to sit here and play stupid, pretend I was so wrapped up in it that you didn’t enter my mind. You were in the back of my mind the whole time, even in the moments I didn’t want you to be.”
“Okay, that’s fucking disgusting.”
“Not like that, you idiot,” I grumble, leaning against the counter.
“I mean, I’d be having the best night of my life with her, looking at her and wondering how the fuck someone like her exists, wondering what the hell she sees in me, and there you’d be.
You’d pop up and remind me why it could never be what I wanted it to be. ”
His eyes burn into my face. “What did you want it to be?”
“Forker.” I sigh, running a hand through my hair.
“Nah, I want to know.”
“Tough shit,” I seethe, whirling on him. “You aren’t entitled to that. I’m sorry, alright? I’m apologizing for breaking your trust, but you do not have a right to those answers just because I hurt you.”
“I don’t?”
“No,” I bite out. “Not when it’s things she hasn’t heard. I’ll be damned if the first time I say them out loud, it’s to your ugly ass face.”
We stare at each other. Seconds pass, his face expressionless. Then, suddenly, he throws his head back dramatically and looks at the ceiling.
“Oh shit, she poisoned you.”
I blink. “What?”
“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s insane,” he says, shaking his head.
He’s still staring at my ceiling, head hanging off the back of the chair.
“She’s probably been putting it into your smoothies.
It’s affecting your vision. If you think I’m ugly, it must be really bad. We should get to the hospital.”
He lifts his head, a gentle smile on his mouth.
I can’t help the smirk from forming on my still-bruised face. I wince at the stab of pain, biting back a hiss, and his smile falls completely. He scans me over, and for the first time in my life, I see regret in Forker’s eyes for throwing a punch. Many punches.
“I’m sorry for beating the shit out of you,” he says quietly.
I meet his eyes. “I can’t say it wasn’t deserved.”
“Maybe two of those punches were. The rest? You’re my brother. There is no excuse for me to hurt you like that.”
“I think your reason was pretty good, Fork.”
He swallows, and something in the air shifts.
I feel it. I see it. One of my closest friends in the whole world.
The best dude with the worst temper. He’s always remarkably unbothered, heart on his sleeve, goofy and loveable.
Until he isn’t. He clears his throat, blinking quickly, and remarkably… There are tears.
“I’m so fucking sorry for what I said about your parents, man,” he chokes out, his voice breaking. Then, inexplicably, Carter shakes his head and turns away from me—shoulders shaking as he starts to cry.
My throat goes dry.
Shit.
Emotion burns behind my eyes, too. Yeah, that one hurt.
It was probably the one thing he could have said to me that would have done any damage.
I know that he said it out of pure anger.
It was the only weapon in his arsenal that he had to use against me when I hurt him the worst way I knew how.
I’m devastated that those words left his mouth, but strangely, I forgave him the moment they did.
Seeing shame this thick on Forker is not a common sight.
It wounds me. The deep kind of hurt that makes my chest ache..
I have never been able to take care of my brothers at home, but I pride myself on taking care of them here.
He’s my brother. Blood or no blood. I don’t want him to spew venomous shit like that at me or any of the guys again, but he needs to know that forgiveness exists, too.
He needs to understand that I believe he can change for the better.
He won’t put in the work if he thinks he’s a lost cause.
I clear my throat and finally bridge the distance we’ve created between us. I pull out the chair beside him, dropping myself into it. He won’t look at me, even when I softly say his name. He shakes his head, trying to get a handle on the tears.
I wipe my own with a sweep of the hand and slap him on the shoulder. “Hey. I forgive you, man. I know you didn’t mean it.”
“I didn’t.” His voice breaks, his back still to me. “I swear, man. I didn’t. I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” I say, shaking him gently. I blink my tears away, clearing my throat.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you either, buddy.
Sometimes, things happen. Sometimes, we say shit we can’t take back.
But I do forgive you for it, and I am more than aware that you would have never said it if I didn’t hurt that girl that you’ve been protecting since you were kids. ”
“Boss, I’m not the judge and the jury on who she can fall in love with.”
He finally turns to me, his cheeks wet. Hearing him acknowledge that she loves me feels like he just took a pickaxe and wielded it between my ribs. The impact is so deep that the edge pierces through my body and into my soul.
“And even though you won’t outright say it because you’re a little bitch, I can’t decide who you fall in love with either.”
I roll my eyes, falling back in my seat, ripping my hand from his shoulder. This fucking guy. He’s impossible.
A stunned laugh bubbles up through my throat. The dude is unhinged, but he sure knows how to smooth over tense moments. One moment, he has me in tears, the next in stitches.
“I have tried to put her on the right path her whole life,” he continues, wiping his face.
“Since day one, I have been that girl’s biggest cheerleader.
I made it to every volleyball game in high school, even when I had my own shit with hockey.
I packed her lunches. My dad was too busy and my mom had better things to do.
I love my parents, but it was Ari and I who raised each other. ”
I dip my chin, bringing my beer to my lips. I know. I’ve never doubted his love for his sister or why he’s so protective. I get it. He’s the brother I’ve always wanted to be.
“The idea of someone breaking her heart makes me want to curl up and die, Boss. I’ve patched that heart up so many times until she finally decided she won’t give it out again. Started going for losers, so that she’d hurt them before they hurt her. So that she never got too attached.”
I swallow. The rooftop floods my memories. She is so good at putting on an act. She’s so good at pretending she’s fine, even when her past haunts her the same way it does the rest of us.
“The one thing she has done right. The one thing she did with her whole heart. The one risk she took, which ended up being the best thing for her, and I shit on her for it. I hit you for it.”
I’m stunned to hear him put me under the ‘things done right’ category.
“Ariana is…complicated. She makes stupid choices when it comes to her love life, even when she overthinks it to death. She didn’t overthink it with you. For once, she went after what she wanted. She went with her gut.”
“Forker—”
He holds up a hand.
“If there is anyone worthy of my baby sister.” He takes a big breath in and meets my eyes with a soft, sincere expression before he dips his chin, as if in defeat. “It's Declan.”
I blink in surprise.
He flashes me a lazy smile. “It’s you, Boss.”
Idiot. What an absolute fucking idiot.
I would die for this guy.
I grin at his stupidity, and he grins right back. We’ve mended it, I think.
“I appreciate that, but it’s done now.”
“Nah, it’s not.”
“What do you mean?” He was there. He heard her. Heard what she said
“Like I said, my sister is insane. She’s licking her wounds right now, but she’ll be back. She’s not going to stop until you admit how you feel. If you lie? She’ll see right through you. Don’t worry, that tornado hasn’t even hit your house yet. It’s coming. Better storm-proof your windows.”
There is absolutely no way…
“Are you saying that you’d approve of this?”
Forker rolls his eyes. “Have you not listened to anything I just said? I don’t want to do the stereotypical ‘big brother’ speech, but I’m just begging you not to hurt her. The last time someone broke her heart, they broke mine, too.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“I know, Boss,” he says. “I know.”
Ariana has chased me since the dawn of this relationship.
She’s put herself out there, begging me to give her the parts of me that I hold close.
I was the one who stonewalled at the first mention of feelings.
I shut her down. I didn’t fight for her.
I hurt her. I don’t want to wait to land in the eye of her storm.
I want to chase that storm down, put myself in the center of it, and relish in her chaos.
Forker meets my eyes and leans back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest. After a few seconds of us staring at each other, realizing what this actually means, he lets out a big breath and downs the rest of his beer with a defeated look.
“What time do you want me out of the house?”