Chapter Twenty-One
Emily
Ifled Zelus’s arms for Asha’s after we made it to the weird and spooky greyscale land with a castle perched on it. She wrapped me in her warm embrace before pressing her forehead to mine.
“Wasn’t one of us dying enough, Ems?” she murmured.
A large hand touched my back, but I ignored it. “Guess not. Death’s a greedy bitch.”
That got a laugh out of everyone, and I beamed. It sucked that I couldn’t get my body back and I’d remain in this weird grey world, but I’d count my blessings. At least I got to stay where Asha was and I wasn’t the forced bride of some throne-seeking asshole.
I peered around. “This place is a bit…”
“Creepy? Gloomy? Dark? Depressing?” Asha supplied a little too readily.
I giggled and nodded. “Yeah, all of the above.”
Zelus’s stare was burning a hole into my back, so I finally threw the bastard a bone and glanced at him.
His throat bobbed, and for the first time since we’d met, he was at a loss for what to say or do.
His eyes pleaded with me to give him a sign, so I grabbed him around the jaw and yanked him down to my level.
“You should know that if not for my bestie being a forgiving and insanely wonderful human—er, Spicy Death—you’d have something sharp and pointy buried in your chest right now.”
He didn’t dare smile, only nod. “I’m sorry for hurting someone so important to you, love.”
“And?”
“For planning to take your soul,” he mumbled cutely.
Damn. It was a crime how adorable this big jerk was when he mumbled and hung his head. It reminded me of a sad puppy.
After checking with Asha and Thanatos to ensure they didn’t want me to get revenge, I turned back to him. “Are you still aiming to take my soul?”
I knew the answer. Asha wouldn’t let him near me if she’d thought he planned to hurt me.
Thanatos wouldn’t either, since he was obsessed with making my bestie happy.
But I needed to hear it. I needed to confirm I hadn’t been wrong about him.
More than that, I needed reassurance I wasn’t making another mistake.
“I love you, Viper.”
My mouth went dry and hung open, giving Asha every reason to laugh. The little bitch. “That’s—excuse you. That’s not an answer—”
He didn’t let me finish. He yanked me into his chest and lifted me into his arms. Our lips met in a heated clash. It wasn’t like before. My body wasn’t a body anymore, and apparently that meant sensations were amplified to a ridiculous degree. I barely caught the moan before it left my mouth.
Yanking back and scampering out of his hold like a frightened animal, I glared at him and then stomped off the castle’s direction.
“I’m assuming this is yours.” I gestured wildly at the castle to hide the blush hitting my cheeks. Because, as my luck would have it, even dead and no longer human, I could still blush like a fucking virgin. What a joke.
Asha wasn’t hiding her shit-eating grin as she fell in step with me, both of us ghosting across the space much faster than we would as humans. “So—”
“Don’t you fucking start. I died and got kidnapped by an asshole. I deserve a pass on taunting for today. Let a girl breathe—or not breathe—m’kay?” I growled at her.
Her smirk was pissing me off. “Maybe I don’t totally hate him anymore. Never thought I’d see this side of you.”
“One more word, Ash, and so help me, I’ll spank you,” I threatened before the chuckles of two men who should go right ahead and bury themselves echoed behind me.
We made it to Dracula’s Castle, and the doors opened in welcome. I whispered a few awed curses at the size of its towers.
“Is this dude of yours compensating for something?” I whisper-shouted at my bestie, and her face lit up with excitement.
“That’s what I said!”
I heard Thanatos sigh, but Zelus was snickering behind a fist as we entered.
Asha showed me around her new afterlife digs. It was a far cry from our apartment. Everything was magic-operated and spectacularly spooky. I’d get lost in a place like this, and I really hoped it didn’t become another Wonderland situation.
“So, is this where you spent your honeymoon?” I asked after wandering down another set of stairs and not being out of breath. Cardio could suck it.
A wistful sigh left her mouth. “Yeah, I guess. It’s weird to have you here, but I’m also glad. I’d been worried one day I’d have to…”
“Take my soul?” I filled in, laughing. “That would’ve been hilarious, though. Not going to lie. Finding out my bestie was Death would’ve softened the blow of the final curtain.”
Zelus and Thanatos congregated near a corner, speaking under their breath. Unfortunately, my new dead powers didn’t come with heightened hearing.
“Can you hear what they’re saying?” I whispered to my friend slash co-conspirator.
Her arm went around me. “Yeah. Let’s go chat.”
We left the boys to their little girl whispering and headed to wherever my friend decided was the best place for all the tea.
Couches stretched across several corners of the room and a fire flickered in a hearth on the farthest wall.
She led me over to the sofa closest to the fire, and a spread of coffee and cakes was already laid out.
I stared at it in confusion. “I haven’t been hungry at all,” I told her.
She laughed and grabbed a cup before offering it to me. “I know. It’s more for pleasure and out of habit than anything. Thanatos thinks I’m weird for still eating meals, but joke’s on him, they’re all fabulous.”
“Because neither of us cooked them?” I sassed.
Her conspiratorial glance was all Asha. “Exactly. Want to know a secret?”
I leaned in when she did. “Oh, juicy. What?”
“The birds that followed me around are his—uh, our—minions and they can change into humanoid versions of themselves. They cooked everything.”
I balked. “No way. So you were actually being followed by a bird this whole time?!”
She seemed satisfied I’d acknowledged it. “I told you so.”
“Damn, dude. That’s weird as shit. Well, it was before I met a snake monster.” I peeked to see if Zelus had followed, but he was nowhere in sight. “What now?”
Asha’s smile faded and she leaned back. “I’m not sure.
That’s what they’re trying to figure out.
War, her name is Ares, won’t be an issue.
She doesn’t want the apocalypse and has been in contact with Than about it.
Limos, you met him, is the only one left to convince.
I don’t think it’ll take much to get him on board, but he’s tough to find.
Hopefully he’ll respond when they message him. ”
At least we only had one more to convince so I didn’t end up on Lucifer’s shit list.
Asha lowered her voice. “Zelus is afraid of something happening to you again. You can’t wander the mortal plane without being at risk of running into demons and angels.
Unlike me, you don’t have powers to protect yourself and Zelus doesn’t have control over souls like we do.
You’re still a wandering spirit that Thanatos had to tether here. ”
Tether? I imagined a rope around my ankle as my body tried to float off like that house in Up. Hilarious. Then another bit she’d said snagged my focus.
I put up a hand, clearing my throat. “Excuse you. What do you mean angels?”
She laughed and slapped my hand. “I told you everyone wants us out of the picture. That includes angels. They want to please God by ensuring the end comes or make us cross over so there’s no risk of the apocalypse happening.”
“Yeesh. We’re so damn popular. Okay, so I stay here forever?” I surmised.
Her eyes sparkled. “Would you want to?!”
“Duh, you’re here.”
“And Zelus,” she amended.
I shrugged, still whirling from the confession earlier. “I’ve known the dude for a week and he tried to kill you.”
Her eyes saw right through me. “Oh, I know what this is.” She nodded as if she was a therapist coming to a natural conclusion on their patient. “You’re scared.”
My mouth fell open and the outrage that left it was far squeakier than I intended. “I am not.”
“You are. You’re in luuuuurve. You wanna have his afterlife babies and spank him ‘til eternity do you part!” she nearly screamed before my hand clapped over her mouth.
“Even if that was slightly true, it’d never work. He’s a snake monster who sings like a beautiful canary and spreads good cheer and illness, and I’m a respectable soul wandering in limbo who can’t do anything but exist and only knows how to beat someone down verbally. We have nothing in common.”
Her cackle was deranged, and it made me laugh without meaning to. “You should write that story. You know, in all your afterlife free time that you have now.”
“You want me…to work in my afterlife? What kind of monster are you?! Also, who would read it? Your birds?”
The giggles were endless between us, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend my afterlife with. The dark jokes were saving me from the crash of reality.
Asha was suddenly on Thanatos’s lap. She wrapped her arms around him and gave the smiling jerk a very thorough greeting kiss. Girl was checking for cavities it was so thorough.
“Figure anything out?” she finally asked after playing dentist.
His smile was dopey. Mine would be too if I’d been tongued down with such enthusiasm. I had to give it to my friend, she had a way with Death.
“Nearly. Zelus insists on staying here until we’ve figured out a way to deal with the issue of stopping the apocalypse.”
As if he’d summoned the asshole, I was suddenly on his lap, except he got an ear tug and growl instead of a dental check. His smile was just as dopey, though. I’d forgotten I was dealing with a masochist here.
“Thanatos and your best mate will seek out Ares and Limos. You and I are going to spend some time together in the meantime,” he said as if I’d asked.
I glanced at Thanatos to confirm. His nod dragged out a sigh from me. “Do I have a choice?”
“Nope!” Zelus chuckled with a squeeze.
I smacked his arms and stared at my bestie, fully expecting her to save me, but the bitch just smiled and shrugged.
Traitor.
“I’m with the boys on this one. I already lost you once,” she said, her smile fading. “I can’t lose you again, Ems.”
My fight died with her whispered confession. “Ash, you sweet little bitch.” The happy laughter coming from Zelus made me smile against my will. I threw my head back in mock petulance. “Fine. Go hither with the both of you.”
Asha was already on her feet and bending to plant a smooch on my cheek. “I promise we’ll be as fast as possible. You’re safe here.”
I thumbed at the asshole holding me. “Debatable.”
His little amused chuff tugged at my lips, and my bestie caught every unwanted second of it. With a wink, she grabbed Thanatos and they were already gone when I blinked. I needed to learn that trick so I could disappear myself away from Zelus.
Now it was just me and this asshole in a huge Dracula castle.