Chapter 9
LIA
Iwake after a night of tossing and turning. Maksim was in my dreams, looming at the doorway, only this time he was shirtless and covered in sweat. I don’t know why. Or maybe I do. Maybe it was the feeling that gripped me when I thought he was going to grab me, kiss me, and make me his.
Maybe it was the tension in my body. In my heart. In my soul.
Okay, that last one is getting a little dramatic… but this is a dramatic situation.
It’s only five AM. I’ve got some time before I have to get up. When I check my phone, I find a text from Maksim waiting for me.
Maksim: Your mother’s situation has been checked and double-checked. Everything is going well.
It’s a kind of doublespeak, like he doesn’t want to mention any specifics over text.
Lia: Thank you. But please remember, this situation doesn’t mean you get to control my life. I’m grateful for your help, and I know I’d be screwed without you, but I want to make that clear.
Maksim: I can work under those conditions. But only if you walk me to the door like a gentle-lady every time.
I laugh, shocked when I hear the sound. It’s been a while since a man has made me laugh over text. I wonder if it’s ever happened. I know it must have, surely, but I can’t think of a single time.
Lia: Why are you so goofy over text?
Maksim: You don’t think I’m goofy in person?
He sends a sad-face emoji with the message. That just adds to the overall surreal nature of this. He’s saved my life, intimidated me, intrigued me, pushed my mind into curious and exciting places… but emojis, from a big tough guy like this?
Lia: You can be goofy and silly. But your overall demeanor kind of ruins the effect.
Maksim: Are you saying I frighten you?
Lia: Maybe you should look in the mirror sometime. You’re a big, scary guy. But weirdly, no, you don’t scare me. That probably means this whole experience has made me lose my mind.
Maksim: I lost my mind the moment I opened my eyes and saw you standing over me. All those months ago, a gunshot sending agony through me, and there you were.
I step into the bathroom. Everything in this townhouse is modern and expensive. There’s no mold in the bathroom, not even spots of it, no cracks in the tiles. I’ve only ever stayed in a place like this on holiday, back before Evan died and Mom had her life together.
Splashing water on my face, I look at myself in the mirror, remind myself not to get carried away. But his message triggers feelings in me I thought were buried under layers of grief and stifled emotions and work.
Lia: I think you need to slow down.
I sit on the edge of the bed waiting for his response.
Maksim: Nothing about this is slow.
I fold my legs as warm tingles dance over my body. My stomach knots, but not with the usual nerves or impending sense of doom. It’s not dread that makes me tense up. Lust grips me, and my heart twitches when I realize that I might be special to him, that I’m the object of someone’s desire.
A criminal’s desire, I try to remind myself. He admitted his business is blackmail, stealing information, and using it to his advantage. I’ve seen him assault a man like it was nothing.
Lia: Just because this situation is crazy doesn’t mean we have to be.
Maksim: Speak for yourself. I’m already crazy. I’ve had to be. Because of this life I chose. So, if I come off as unhinged, that’s why.
Lia: You’re very raw over text. I mean, you’re pretty raw in person too. But this is something else.
Maksim: I’m good at hiding how I feel. I’ve spent a long time honing that skill. In my world, it can be dangerous to show emotion, even a moment of it. But sitting in the dark, typing this, it’s like I can let myself go a little. I don’t have to be such a tough bastard.
A smile spreads across my lips, reckless and wild.
I try to take my own advice. Take a beat.
Slow this down. Keep my head on straight, so I’m not whisked away like some princess in a fairytale.
Maybe I am like Cinderella though, just a bit, spending all these years grinding and toiling only to have my Prince Charming save me from it all…
Another laugh escapes me. This one is far darker. What am I even thinking? What deranged thoughts am I letting grow in my mind?
Lia: You don’t know me, Maksim.
Maksim: I know enough. I know you care more than most. That you work harder than most people can even imagine. I know you’ve been waiting for a chance to live.
I type quickly, anger bubbling up inside me.
Lia: And this is my chance?
He’s turning this situation into something it has no right to be. I’m a regular Joe swept up in the madness of his world. Not the object of some projected desire.
Lia: Is this about keeping me safe, or making me yours?
I stare at my message, not clicking the send button. Hesitation grips me. I know I’ve got every right to send this message. But the confusing truth is, I don’t want him to think I’m completely against the idea of something happening between us.
My thoughts go to the moment we almost kissed yesterday.
He was standing so close, heat radiating from him, looking down at me with those gray eyes that make me melt.
I remember the way he looked months ago, the respect each time he glanced at me, the shock that I was willing to speak to him like a regular guy.
I delete the message.
Lia: And the big, strong man is my chance to live?
Maksim: You called me big and strong. I’ll take that, my light.
I bite down as another jolt of desire goes through me. And something else, something softer.
Lia: Not many people know that my name means that.
Maksim: It’s a beautiful name. It fits you well. You ARE a light, Liora. Especially in this grim, dark world.
Lia: I don’t plan on being in this grim, dark world forever. I was just stupid and stood up to the wrong man.
Maksim: Never call yourself stupid.
I can feel his fierceness through the phone.
Maksim: Don’t do that. You’re brave and courageous. You’re the type of woman any man would be lucky to have.
Lia: Reminder, Maksim, you don’t know me.
Maksim: I know you twirl your hair when you’re anxious. I know you can’t stand creamer in your coffee. I know you have to take a moment before visiting a patient to smile. I know you put everyone else before yourself.
I let his words sweep me along for a few stunningly beautiful moments. How can he pick up on all of this just from minutes together? I’ve never felt so seen.
No. I need to take control. I can’t let this go too far, we only just met. If we were in person and he were saying this, I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself though. Ah, the magic of texting…
Lia: I need to get ready for work.
Maksim: Me too.
I want to ask him what work means for him on a day-to-day basis. Cracking skulls? Meeting in seedy rooms to make senators and congressmen do his bidding? But he obviously wouldn’t discuss that over text.
I put my phone away, then take a shower. There’s no way I’m getting any more sleep tonight, so I might as well start my day. His words play on my mind, as if he spoke them in his gruff voice and didn’t text them.
All my stuff is in the formal living room of the townhouse, and I mean all my stuff. Boxes and boxes of it. I find one labelled clothes, get dressed, then go to the front window to find my rust bucket sitting out front. It doesn’t fit among all the politicians’ vehicles.
A car follows me in the rearview as I drive to work. How did life get so crazy again?
At the hospital, Joel meets me at the door. I know something’s wrong immediately.
“What is it?” I say, dread in my voice.
“Daniel Mercer is gone,” he replies.
For a moment, reality splits. I don’t know Daniel Mercer. But he reminded me of my baby brother. It’s like I’m hearing about Evan’s death all over again. “I thought he was still out?”
“He was. But it seems he woke up. We found his window open and footsteps in the grass near his room.”
“Anything on the CCTV?” I ask, voice dry.
Joel shakes his head. “He used blind spots. We’ve got nothing.”
“Have you reported it to the police?”
Joel frowns. “We can’t report someone for deciding to leave a hospital.”
I massage my forehead, feeling a tension headache forming already. Too much caffeine and too little sleep.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” I murmur, walking on shaky legs into the hospital.
I’m in the staffroom when my sleepy mind finally catches up to something.
I assumed Maksim guessed all that stuff about me, but it’s too specific. How would he guess I hate creamer in my coffee? A less sleep-deprived mind would’ve realized that immediately.
Has he been following me? Watching me?