12. Sage
CHAPTER 12
Sage
“Jeez,” Grefin said as he sat on the bench beside me, boxing me in with Lewin while the guys laughed at me. “Do you even know how to treat a woman like a queen?”
“I practiced on your mother,” Lewin shot back as he reached over my tray and snatched a rasher of bacon from Grefin’s plate.
“Hey.” Grefin tried to grab it back, but Lewin leaned farther away, making Grefin huff but thankfully not push me aside to get to the other man. “Go to the kitchen and get me more, thief.”
Lewin shoved the piece into his mouth. “Nope.”
“Runt.” Grefin turned his glare to me. “Go to the kitchen and get me more.”
“Don’t you dare,” Kit replied before I could even think of standing. “You’re a big boy. You can get your own bacon.”
“But the runt’s so much quicker than I am. He’d be to the kitchen and back in a flash,” Grefin huffed.
“If some asshole didn’t trip him first,” Payne said under his breath.
“Learning to dodge is a very important skill.” Grefin squashed the rest of his bacon between two slices of bread and took a huge bite. “But that’s not why I’m here. I’ve got good news, bad news, and great news.”
Kit’s eyes narrowed. “What’s the bad news?”
“Frost’s team ran across a pair of big cats and both Frost and Morys are on bedrest.”
“Shadows,” Payne hissed. “I thought the shadow cats were solitary. Even the big ones.”
“So did they. So did all of us,” Grefin replied, his expression turning grim.
“So,” Kit asked, his tone hesitant, “what’s the good news?”
“You’re switched to nights starting tomorrow so today is now a lieu day for you guys.”
“Nice! Vreni and sunshine here I come,” Lewin whooped, making the men behind us chuckle and look back at him.
But their smiles vanished the second they saw me sitting beside him and I fought the urge to shrink back into myself and pretend I was invisible like a proper woman. Here, I was Sawyer Herstind, a boy?—
No, I was bound to the Black Tower which meant I was a man . And even though it felt like I was painting myself in red by keeping my head up and making eye contact with the other men, I knew I’d draw less attention by doing so.
“And the great news,” Grefin continued, “is that I’m your fourth for the rest of the rotation.”
Payne grinned, reached over the table, and clasped Grefin’s forearm. “That is great news.” But then his smile faded and his gaze jumped to me. “But it means this will be our last meal together for the rest of the rotation. Probably longer.”
Which meant I was no longer going to have allies in the great hall during mealtime.
Of course, given the reaction the other men had toward me, it was probably better if Kit, Payne, and Lewin stopped associating with me. I didn’t want the other men to start treating them differently because of me.
“It was going to happen next rotation anyway,” Grefin said with a shrug. “But with Frost’s team out and Costin’s team needing at least one rotation off nights so they don’t go crazy?—”
“Ours is the best hunter team to step up so long as Rider gives us a fourth.” Kit gave me an apologetic smile. “Since we lost Hodge, we’ve been on days. ”
“For too damned long,” Lewin said, his expression turning grim.
“The other hunter teams deserve a rest,” Kit finished.
“I understand.” In fact I was shocked they all — well everyone except Grefin — were upset that they wouldn’t be able to continue eating meals with me. “I appreciate you offering to share your table for the meals we have had together.”
Grefin snorted, waved his hand in the air and nodded his head in a mock bow. “Anything to please the lord.”
I opened my mouth to insist that wasn’t what I’d meant then snapped it shut. Talking back would get me punished.
No. Talking back would be like any other man here.
Why was that so hard to remember?
“There you go showing your peasant roots again,” Lewin said with a laugh before I could think of an appropriate response. “You know he’s not a lord anymore. You don’t have to bow down to him.”
“Stop acting like a lord and maybe the rest of us can forget you were one,” Grefin shot back, his gaze jerking to the men behind us then back to me, reminding me of what I already knew: that the men of the Black Tower were determined to remind me that I wasn’t special anymore. I was just like them.
Except I had no idea what I’d done that had made me look like a lord.
“You used a fancy phrase,” Payne whispered, figuring out that I had no idea what Grefin was talking about. “And I heard you walked like a lord yesterday.”
“Head held high, that kind of thing,” Lewin added.
“Because people kept giving me grief about looking at my feet.”
There wasn’t any way I could win. I looked down, I was weak. I looked up, I was arrogant. They didn’t want to like me and I shouldn’t have cared if they did or not. It was all going to come crashing down sooner or later.
“They’ll see you for who you are eventually,” Payne said.
“Yeah, and who’s that?” Grefin asked.
“A spark who’s damned fast with a sword,” Kit replied.
Grefin huffed. “Yeah, well. The runt is that. At least you’re not terrible with a sword.”
“Gee, thanks.” I rolled my eyes at him, but suspected coming from Grefin that was a big compliment.
I didn’t know him or anyone at the Black Tower very well yet — and the plan wasn’t to ever get to know anyone well — but I had a feeling despite being gruff and grumpy, Grefin was a good man. I doubted Payne would be so happy to have him on their team if he hadn’t been .
“Now if I don’t want the stablemaster to hold me through lunch, I’ve got to get a head start on my duties.” I grabbed my tray before the others could argue with me and hurried to the back of the great hall to put my dirty dishes in the bin by the kitchen door.
I still had time before I needed to be at the stables, and Kasen, the stablemaster, probably wouldn’t make me work through lunch even though he’d complained about how slow I was yesterday.
But if I waited for the second bell that told everyone to go to their morning assignments, I’d get stuck in a crowd of men all putting their dishes in the bin, and I didn’t want to get trapped among men who were all bigger and stronger than me and who didn’t like me.
I reported to the stables and, as expected, Kasen put me straight to work shoveling soiled hay and horse shit from the stalls into a wheelbarrow, and wheeling it to the manure pile outside the Tower’s walls.
I’d been sore and stiff before I’d started and by the time the fourth bell rang telling me it was time for lunch, I hurt even more. I’d thought Edred had made me work hard carrying buckets of water up the narrow stairs in Herstind Castle and scrubbing the floors. But now I was using muscles I’d never used before and still had that horrible bruise that Edred had given me that hurt with every little movement.
There weren’t any oranges at the midday meal either, but given that they hadn’t had any at breakfast, that was understandable, except when I’d stepped out of the kitchen with my meal, I noticed the man sitting at the closest table had an orange… and so did the two men sitting with him.
Guess they’d had a few and I just hadn’t gotten to the great hall early enough to grab one.
Two of the three men with the oranges shot me dark looks while the third picked up his fruit and gave it a small toss into the air, catching my attention. He flashed me a wicked smile, obviously pleased I’d noticed he had an orange, then dug his nail in and started peeling it.
I squared my shoulders, determined to ignore him, and headed down the closest aisle between the long benches and tables before someone behind me could bump me and make me slosh my ale.
As I moved, my gaze swept over those sitting and talking and laughing, searching for Kit, Payne, or Lewin before remembering I wasn’t going to see them anymore.
More men shot me dark glares, while others picked up oranges and made a point of showing them to me.
My throat tightened. There were oranges everywhere when there hadn’t been any in the kitchen. But I bet if I’d asked someone working on the other side of the counter if there’d been more, I’d have been told no, because this was another punishment .
The men had figured out — and damn quickly too — how much I loved oranges and had decided I didn’t deserve any.
It shouldn’t have hurt. It was just a piece of fruit, something I’d only had once before coming to the Black Tower, but it had been an unexpected bright spot in the last two days.
Except it wasn’t being denied the orange that stung. It was the fact that this demonstration proved that with the exception of Kit and his elite hunting team, I had no other allies in the Black Guard and the rest of the men weren’t just going to ignore me like I’d hoped.
Even Talon had avoided me yesterday, barely making eye contact when we were being tested on how well we could fight from horseback. And while a part of me had been grateful that I hadn’t had to resist his magic that made me want to have sex with him — hell, sex with anyone and everyone — it hurt to know that he’d decided with the rest of the Guard that I was a spoiled nobleman who needed to be punished.
I could only pray that they’d stick with denying me oranges and just bumping me out of their way. That I could deal with.
Besides, life had been harder living in Herstind Castle with Edred. There I’d been afraid for Sawyer’s life as well as my own and anything — the wrong look, the right look, just walking past Edred — could set him off and make him decide I or Sawyer needed to be disciplined.