13. Vani #4
“Hey,” I smiled at him after approaching the group. “Thank you for everything. You really didn’t have to do that.”
“I did. But you’re welcome.” His gaze poured over my frame, and I turned to smile at Azarius.
He cut his conversation with Hailey short and pulled me into his side for a one arm hug. “Welcome home sis.” He reached in his pocket, removed something, and placed it inside my pocket. It felt heavy as fuck, and I could only surmise it was a wad of cash. “You walked that shit down like a G.”
“Thank you,” I smiled.
People acted like me not snitching was some ultimate feat that I deserved a badge of honor for.
If only they knew almost every day sitting in that cell, I wished I had snitched.
There was nothing G about the time I did.
I felt like I was spiraling. Losing my mind.
I wasn’t going to express all that, however.
I could feel Darius staring at me. My body temperature was rising, and I was reminded that coming out might not have been a good idea.
I tried to look everywhere except where Darius was standing.
I ended up catching Tre staring at me, and I had to admit, he had grown into a lil’ cutie indeed, but I couldn’t see myself scratching that itch with him.
Lifting the cup in my hand, I downed my drink in record speed and enjoyed the slight head rush I got from it. “Can I talk to you outside for a minute?” that voice in my ear made goose bumps prickle my skin.
With a racing heart, I glanced up at him. “Darius.” I didn’t even know what to say after that, but I was lowkey hoping he got the hint. I was begging him not to take it there.
“I can’t get two minutes?”
With a small huff, I stepped in front of him and made my way toward the exit because I knew he wasn’t going to give up. I just wanted to enjoy my first night home. Not be forced to revisit heartbreak. Outside, I stood in front of him and crossed my arms over my chest.
“What’s up?”
He just stared at me, and the silence was loud. So loud that my stomach tightened. I couldn’t read Darius’ facial expression. After too long, he flicked the tip of his nose and continued to ogle me. “This is us now? Half ass speaking in passing, like we don’t know each other for real?”
My brows furrowed as my face contorted a bit. “I’m confused. We haven’t talked in three years? What’s different? ‘Cus I’m free?”
“You wouldn’t call me, Vani! How the hell were we supposed to talk?” he hissed harshly.
“Ummm I don’t know maybe you could have come to visit.”
“Oh my God,” Darius sucked his teeth. “I’m a got damn drug dealer,” he inched closer to me while lowering his voice.
“You wanted me to hand them everything they needed to start watching my ass on a silver platter? Just to sit across from you for two hours and be reminded that I couldn’t have you?
Come on man. You holding that shit against me? ”
“Yeah, I am ‘cus guess what? The address on your driver’s license is your parents’ house.
They wouldn’t have known where you actually laid your head, and you don’t have a criminal record.
They just gonna look at your name and know you hustle?
They were going to see you at my visits and start trailing you? ”
“You know it’s more complex than that.”
“I don’t know shit. I just know that aside from that one time you didn’t come visit me. Rewind that shit. You didn’t come to my court date. You sent money and while I appreciated it, maybe I needed to see your face. Maybe I needed a hug from you.” My voice cracked, and I got angrier.
“I needed some shit too, Lavani. I needed my girl to not pack her shit and leave over some irrelevant ass chick that I wasn’t fucking! I needed my girl to come home and talk to me instead of running off like a little ass kid and doing some dumb shit.”
“Nigga fuck you,” I spat looking him up and down. “She’s so damn irrelevant, but you have a whole kid with her!” I yelled getting the side eye from two chicks walking by.
“Yo,” Darius closed his eyes and chuckled while pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I chose your ass. You! I didn’t give a fuck about any history that I had with Bree.
From the moment I met you, I didn’t stick dick to her again until after you’d already been locked up for a year.
The baby was an accident. I swear to God it was, but I love my daughter, Vani. ”
“You’re supposed to nigga,” I snapped while attempting to walk off.
Darius gently grabbed my arm. “I love you too.”
“Nah, you left me for dead. I made a dumb ass decision. You don’t have to tell me that.
I relieved it every day that I woke up in that dingy ass cell.
I’ve beat myself up more than you ever could, but the fact remains that you never once attempted to come see me after I got sentenced.
The same way you felt then, stand on that shit now.
We haven’t been talking, and we’re going to keep it that way.
” I snatched my wrist out of his hold and walked off.
I refused to let my night be ruined. I was about to turn up and pay Darius dust. The same way he’d paid me dust for three years.