Chapter 4
Damages
Beep……beep…...beep……
What the fuck is that stupid noise?
Beep……beep……beep……
Oh no……no…not this shit…not again……
Beep……beep……beep……
Ugh……goddamn it……I survived…why do I always have to survive everything?
The very weight of my eyelids was painful, the heaviness a barrier to sight I had no interest in fighting. I preferred to stay unconscious.
But hearing required no effort, so when the sound of the heart monitor echoed in my ears, telling me I was still very much alive, I wanted to hurl it out the fucking window. But I couldn’t. Because I knew my body was broken. Again.
Everything hurt. Everything.
I didn’t even want to assess the damage I had sustained, knowing there was nothing to distract me from concentrating on every nerve ending attached to my body.
I was already under the impression that an elephant was sitting on my pelvis, the pressure so incredibly destabilizing I could barely breathe.
I decided to test the strength of my fingers first, finding my right hand stuck in a warm but gentle embrace. A single curl of my fingertips gave life to the rustling of fabrics and furniture, the grip on my hand suddenly growing stronger.
“Jaden?” came a soft deep voice next to me. “Can you hear me?”
I hummed my acknowledgment, taking a slow breath, the expansion of my chest making me groan from the strain.
“Sid! Get in here now!”
The sudden shout made me wince, but the sound of quickly moving footsteps and a swinging door changed the course of my attention.
“Jaden?” came another voice. “Jaden, can you hear us?”
“Mhm,” I mumbled, hoping they would finally stop asking me questions.
But with the soft stroking of a thumb along my cheek, I knew I wouldn’t be so lucky.
“Open your eyes, princess,” Darren whispered, the longing in his voice a soothing reminder of his own helplessness. As it was, he could do nothing for me but witness the aftermath and destruction of his own makings.
I tightened my fingers around his palm instead, denying him for a little while longer while I could still get away with it.
A few more moments of silence brought me the clarity I needed, my situational awareness now expanding beyond the agony of my own body and the limits of the bed.
It bounced off the walls until I could finally sense everything and everyone in the room, down to the last speck of dust in the air.
Awareness required focus, and focus required energy, summoning just enough to finally see again.
Slowly cracking my eyelids, my vision fixated on a massive blur of a man sitting at my bedside. I felt his hand gently graze against my cheek, brushing the loose hair away from my face.
“There she is,” Darren murmured, his voice low, but his tone grateful.
I grunted in response, finding my mouth far too dry to formulate actual words before wincing from the light.
“Bright,” I mumbled anyway, hoping my voice was loud enough.
In a flash, the light was gone and the stinging brightness faded away, but the shivers that began to erupt down my limbs had me hunching into myself for warmth.
“C-cold,” I murmured, still clutching at the blanket with my other hand.
Darren gently took it from my grasp and draped it all the way up to my neck, gently tucking it behind my shoulders. My body soaked in the warmth like a sponge, comforting me enough to calm some of the shivers down.
“Don’t try to move,” Darren ordered, as if I had any intention to try. He then lifted a small paper cup to my cracked mouth. “Just take a small sip.” Little drops of water poured in, washing away the desert that caked my mouth, allowing for small moments of relief.
God, I felt heavy. So very heavy. But consciousness was mine again, and I wanted answers.
“What. H-happened,” I barely whispered, desperately needing to know how fucked I was.
“You were shot,” Darren answered plainly, his hand tightening around mine again. “But you’re going to be fine.”
Sure, I was. Every day was fine when you were me.
The echo of footsteps grew louder until they stopped at the foot of my bed.
“How are you feeling, Mrs. Davis?” came Sid’s voice. “Are you in any pain?”
“An e-elephant,” I began, “is sitting. On. My t-torso.”
Sid nodded. “Good to know the morphine is working,” he replied.
I grunted at that. I suppose pressure was better than pain.
“What’s the damage?” I whispered as my vision started to become clearer.
Sid took a deep breath before side-eyeing Darren as if he wasn’t sure what to tell me.
Oh, fuck, it was bad. It had to be bad.
Was I paralyzed? Did the bullet hit my spine?
“Well, the bullet ricocheted off the concrete wall of the garage and struck through your pelvis. It entered at such an angle that it exited cleanly through your glutes. Luckily, no fragments of the bullet were detected. That made your surgical repairs a little less complicated, and you did very well during the surgery.”
I blinked at him. The bullet exited through my ass cheek? Bikini season was going to be lit.
“But the force of the bullet did cause a few hip and pelvic fractures,” Sid continued. “You also have a torn sacrotuberous ligament and some sciatic nerve damage. But, not to worry. All of that will heal in time.”
How much time?
Absorbing his words took longer than I liked. It took even longer to accept them. I now had damage to my bones, muscles, ligaments, and nerves. And I need not worry. Why did it feel like he was leaving something out?
“What else?” I asked pointedly, clutching the blanket tighter.
Sid shook his head with a smirk. “Still sharp as ever, Mrs. Davis.”
Darren grunted at that, side-eyeing Sid with a warning glare.
“The worst of your injury is regrettably, the loss of your right ovary and connecting fallopian tube. Both were severely compromised and unfortunately could not be saved. There was also a small tear to your uterus that we were able to repair, so scar tissue is likely to develop. But you should know though that you are expected to make a full recovery and within time, you should have no trouble conceiving in the future.”
I was silent for a minute after this little revelation, Sid’s warning of Darren’s bigger concern at the forefront of it all.
I didn’t know if fate was trying to play a cruel trick on me or if it had just failed to fully release me of one of my greatest fears.
I’d almost been granted the relief I wanted from ever having to bear Darren’s children. Almost.
Technically, you’re halfway there.
Why the fuck did women have to have two ovaries? One really wasn’t enough?
I sighed in disappointment, though in reality I should be kind of grateful. That bullet bought my uterus some more time. A price always had to be paid.
“With all that said, Mrs. Davis, you’re incredibly lucky the bullet was a ricochet and not a direct hit. Your injuries would have been much worse otherwise and your recovery would not look as promising.”
I could see Darren’s jaw tense as Sid reminded us all of how close I probably came to death. Wouldn’t be the first time, and if things were going to go my way, it wouldn’t be the last time either. But death would have to wait its turn. I still had shit to do.
Darren offered me another sip of water, to which I greatly took.
“What about the live rounds?” I asked him after he set the cup aside.
His eyes went dark, his jaw set tight as his gaze penetrated me deeply. It was that kind of look that always reminded me of how dangerous he really was. Especially when it came to things like vengeance.
“It’s already been handled.”
I knew I’d have to beat it out of him.
“So, who wanted me dead and why?” I continued pushing.
He shook his head, his hair falling loose over his forehead. He hadn’t cut his hair since well before he left for Honduras. It had grown long enough to fall over his brow now.
“No one wanted you dead, Jaden. It was an accident. But I don’t want you to think about that right now. Your focus needs to be on your recovery. Nothing else.”
I pursed my lips at his response. I didn’t understand how someone could accidentally try to get me killed or how live rounds accidentally made their way into my training exercise but dwelling on it was a lost cause.
I knew that was the most I was going to get out of Darren on the subject, so I decided to change it. For now.
“So what does my recovery look like?” God, my throat felt like it had gone through a wood chipper.
Sid sighed like he was actually sad for me. “You have a very long road ahead of you.”