Chapter 6
Endurance
Nighttime had befallen my hospital room. Even though I had no windows, I could feel the ominous darkness taking over.
Fuck, I was tired. So goddamn tired. But I just couldn’t sleep anymore.
I was too goddamn angry.
The morphine could numb my pain away and make my body feel absolutely nothing, but it couldn’t do shit for the dangerous emotions thundering away in my head. I’d been here before, trapped in a useless, broken body, bound to the excruciating limitations of injuries I had no choice but to endure.
It wasn’t fair.
After Sid explained to me the height of the hurdles I was facing, I completely shut down for the rest of the day. I didn’t want to hear anymore. Didn’t want to face it. Didn’t have the energy to process it. I just wanted to be left the fuck alone.
I had come to accept that when my bones finally healed, I would likely have to learn how to walk again.
Fucking walk. Of all the things to be robbed of, it had to be the most basic of bodily movements.
My legs, my most powerful assets, were fucking useless to me now in every possible way.
The devastation was palpable; everyone in the room could feel my energy shifting into a tornado of despair and unbridled anger. But I’d kept it contained.
Until now.
Now that my head was finally clear and I wasn’t so drugged up, I could truly reflect and then absolutely fucking rage to the sky.
My breath came in and out with too much angst, my chest heaving to accommodate the rush of oxygen while my blood raced through what was left of my broken heart.
I hadn’t felt an eruption coming like this since I broke apart in that hotel room when we were honeymooning in Italy.
I’d been betrayed by Darren then. And now I’d been betrayed by the universe.
Except this time, the usual destruction I was capable of was restricted to only what was within my immediate reach.
With a single swipe of my arm, I scattered everything on top of the medical cabinet next to me all over the floor.
Glass shattered against the wall as I chucked whatever the fuck was in my hand across the room.
The tray over my lap was whipped into the air, the bedside table shoved over to crash against the floor, the sheets in my hands ripped into ribbons.
And when nothing was left to target, I grabbed my hair.
“Fuuuuuuuuccckkkk!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, not giving a flying fuck who heard me.
Scalding tears of anger and frustration slid down my face as my fingers tangled through my hair and held tight at my roots. I sucked back massive gusts of oxygen to calm myself down, but all I wanted to do was take a sledgehammer to the fucking walls.
Why does this keep happening to me?
“Because you’re built for it.”
My head shot up as my eyes darted across the room, searching for the source of the voice. And when I didn’t see anyone, my gaze crept to the shadows in the corner where the light could not reach.
I quickly wiped my tears away and stared into the darkness, waiting for him to step into the light.
Like some kind of shadow demon, Darren stepped out of the darkness and into the dim glow of the room. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him.
His body was drenched in so much blood it looked like he had fucking bathed in it. With his arms folded across his chest, he radiated the most menacing energy I had ever felt from him. It made me shudder as he stepped closer, the look on his face pinning me in place, too terrified to move or blink.
“What…?” That was all I could manage to say to iterate the question in my head.
The closer he got, the more I could smell the carnage on him.
It was fresh, the blood still glistening in the soft light.
Some of it had also coagulated into the wrinkles of his gray shirt, and some had dried in speckles across his face and neck.
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until he stopped at the foot of my bed, a dark expression on his face that left me utterly haunted.
“What…happened?”
Darren dipped his chin, his eyes blazing with so much possession and pure malevolence it scared the absolute shit out of me.
“I slaughtered them,” he rasped, his voice damn near unrecognizable. “For you.”
My eyes widened in horror. “Who?”
“The men responsible.”
My eyes resumed their assessment of the amount of blood still dripping from his clothes. I had expected it. I just didn’t expect to witness the immediate grotesque aftermath of it.
“How many were there?”
“Four.”
I swallowed dryly at the implication. He’d literally just come back from killing those four people. And he wanted me to know that. Why?
“What did you do to them?” I whispered, my gaze still entranced by the amount of blood and gore caked all over him.
“I tore them apart.”
My brows lifted in shock. “With what, your bare hands?”
“Yes.”
My mouth instantly went dry, all the blood quickly draining from my face. Darren had just sent four men to their graves in literal pieces with his bare fucking hands for what had happened to me.
His bare fucking hands.
Darren’s particular brand of violence and bloodshed was legendary, but what I saw before me had surpassed all manner of my previous experiences and expectations.
I’d never seen him wear someone else’s blood and guts with such…
delight. It was actually really fucking disturbing, and it left me questioning what I thought I knew and understood about this man—if what I thought I knew was only just surface level.
If I had to drown any deeper than I already was, the pressure alone would crush me into the empty black pit of Darren’s soul.
I didn’t want to know any more than I already had to.
“Jesus, Darren,” I hissed.
A cruel smirk formed in the corner of his mouth. “I really can’t explain to you how much of a rush it is to bask in the blood of our enemies. How fucking satisfying it is.”
I gulped, biting deep into my tongue for strength as I took in his words.
A part of me wondered if Darren had done it more for me, or for himself.
Gaping up at him from the safety of my hospital bed, I just had no words. My mind was incapable of competing with this interaction. What could I even say?
I knew he was going to kill them. But I didn’t expect…this.
“How did you—”
“I meant what I said earlier,” he interrupted. “About you being built for it.”
I furrowed my brow at the sudden change in subject. “Built for what?”
“Endurance.”
I paused, recognizing that he’d heard me. I hadn’t realized I’d said that out loud.
I sighed in contempt. I was so tired of being tested by him.
“Endurance is exhausting,” I replied bitterly.
He nodded like he was agreeing with me.
“Don’t you understand what that means, though?”
I arched a brow expectantly.
He tipped his head at me, like the answer was obvious. “It means you’re unbreakable.”
I scoffed, my eyes shooting to the ceiling at the audacity of his exaggerations.
“You broke me in the basement, remember?”
“For a time,” he concurred. “But it didn’t stick, did it?”
“Yeah, only because you wanted to put me back together.”
Darren shook his head. “No, Jaden. I may have given you the shovel, but you’re the one who dug yourself out.”
I looked up at him with indignation. Why the hell was he bringing this up now?
“You somehow managed to reshape yourself into something completely untouchable. And I lacked the foresight to see it coming.”
I scowled. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You’re unrivaled, Jaden. Unmatched in every way.
This”—he gestured to the bed—“means nothing. Because we both know it’s not going to stop you.
It might slow you down for a minute, but it won’t hold forever.
I’ve never seen someone come back from the dead as often as you have.
And you’re always stronger for it every single time.
So I know this will be nothing more than another temporary nuisance for you to thoroughly annihilate. ”
My gaze sharpened at his appeasement, the scowl on my face deepening from the odd revelation of what I assumed was some fucked-up form of flattery. Because the only reason I was like this was because of all the shit he’d put me through over the years.
I was what he made me, and yet for some reason, he was giving me all the credit.
Grunting at Darren’s declaration of me, I crossed my arms and looked away from the intensity of his watchful eyes. I didn’t know how to take those kinds of “compliments” from him, especially while he stood there covered in the blood and guts of four dead men like some kind of modern-day Viking.
“So the next time you question your misfortunes, Jaden, remember what I told you.”
My gaze returned to his as I released a deep sigh of annoyance. I understood what he was saying.
I was built for endurance.
I couldn’t argue with that. After everything I’d been through, I was still here. I might not be technically standing, but I sure as fuck wasn’t dead yet.
Darren smirked. “Get some sleep, princess. Your morphine is about to get cut in half if it’s enabling you to still be this destructive three days after major surgery.
The pain will help keep you still until you learn not to aggravate your injuries like I’m sure you just did after this little display. ”
My jaw dropped in utter disbelief. No fucking way was he serious.
“You’re not serious,” I accused. But he was. Darren didn’t make empty promises.
“Enjoy the numb while you can, little girl. You’re in for a rough couple of weeks.”
Then he turned away and headed for the door, undeterred by the glass shattering under his boots. If I had just one more thing to throw at him, I would have chucked it right at the back of his head.
“How the fuck did you even get in here, anyway?” I shouted after him.
He chuckled softly, pushing the door open without another glance, leaving me alone to stew over it for the rest of the night. If I had known he was there the entire time, I would have waited until he was gone before destroying everything within reach.
Fine, keep your secrets, motherfucker.
And I’ll keep mine.