Chapter 27 Confessions #3
An icy river of panic shot through my spine as we walked farther down the steps, Darren pausing as he unlocked another door.
No. No. Please, no!
I tried to move, tried to pry myself away from him, but my body had nothing left to fight with. Every last molecule of energy had been drained away from me, while the slightest twitch felt like a shard of glass in my skin.
Kicking the door shut behind him, Darren slowly slid me from his shoulder down his chest, placing his hands under my arms to turn me around and hold me still.
Pure devastation laced with absolute horror rushed my system as I eyed the familiar room I had sworn I would never see the inside of again.
“You know, this room will always have a special place in my heart. And I’m really looking forward to making some new memories.”
Darren’s voice could barely be heard over the sound of my blood pumping through my ears, my eyes instantly locking on the steel cage tucked in the corner of the room.
The familiar bite of the chilled metal flared against my skin, the phantom sting rattling the inner cell where I had trapped that trauma away.
Fear instantly liquefied in my eyes, the tears bursting against the brim of my lids as I fought back against the violent tremble in my knees. I would have crumpled to the floor already if Darren hadn’t been holding me up.
I shook my head, my chin quivering uncontrollably.
No. I wouldn’t do it again.
“If you leave me down here, I will kill myself,” I choked out. “I swear to God, I’ll find a way.”
Darren sighed, finding my threat to be both hollow and comical.
“So dramatic,” he commented.
With no effort at all, he whisked me over to the bed and forced me down onto my back, another scream ripping from my throat. My attempt at fighting him was pitiful, I could barely lift a single limb to combat him.
It took Darren all of five seconds to properly secure my wrists and ankles to the corners of the bed, all the while the weight of my body adding to the agonizing pressure against my destroyed skin.
“Please, don’t do this,” I cried, my wretched voice barely above a whisper as I tugged pitifully at my restraints.
The familiar chill of the room was already penetrating my skin, making it rise with goose bumps as more tears formed in my eyes.
With all the patience of a disappointed parent, Darren sat down beside me, placing his hand on the other side of my waist so that he was leaning over me.
I barely had the strength to look him in the eye, unwilling to meet the inferno of malevolence burning in his gaze, completely devoid of mercy.
It told me there was no point in pleading with him, his intent clearly fixed on delivering my suffering for the unforeseeable future.
Begging would just be an embarrassing way to waste my energy.
“Unlike last time, I’m going to give you a much easier way to get out of here. Just one simple task,” he told me calmly. “And you will not leave this room until you have completed it to my satisfaction.”
I closed my eyes then, trying to calm my raging fear so that I could adequately comprehend what horror he wanted to subject me to.
“What do you want?” I whispered despondently.
The corners of Darren’s lips curled into something heinous and evil.
“Since you’ve apparently gotten so damn good at lying to me, performing one more shouldn’t be that difficult of a task for you.”
Oh God.
His gaze darkened to something possessive and cruel, a sinister gleam in his eye that promised my ultimate destruction.
“I want you to fuck me like you love me.”
My breath suddenly died in my lungs. Like someone had dropped a giant anvil on my chest, the weight crushing me into the bed.
“I don’t care what you need to do or how you need to do it, but one way or another, Jaden, you will make me believe it or you will never leave this room again. That is your only ticket out.”
Darren then got up and moved for the door, turning back to address me one last time.
“I’ll give you some time to mentally prepare yourself. When you’re ready, we can give it your first go.”
With that, he opened the door, turned off the light, and shut the door behind him, locking me in. He left me in total darkness, left me to drown in the complete desolation of my despair while my back burned to cinders under my own weight.
My eyes slid away to linger on the memorable ceiling above me even though I could barely see it in the dark. The unforgettable kiss of the icey air caressed my naked skin, welcoming me back to my personal hell like a long-lost lover, eager for another taste of me.
I could feel the panic attack rising, the burst of fear ready to disrupt the calm I had once managed to achieve in such a wretched place. The sharp memories assaulted me like knives, cutting into old scars I had once cauterized shut.
You’re not a person anymore, Jaden. You’re a thing now, an object, a living breathing doll with the sole purpose of obeying my every command.
My fists clenched, my knuckles turning white.
Every single molecule of you belongs to me. From the breath in your lungs to the blood in your veins. Your thoughts, your attention, your fears—all mine.
My body shivered, the deep tremble causing my limbs to lock up.
Your pretty little smiles, your adorable cries, your perfect screams? All. Mine.
My chest quaked, my heart rate climbing.
You exist for me and me alone. Nothing outside of my desires matter to you anymore. Your only concern is to please your master.
I shook my head, gritting my teeth as the daggers continued to pierce and slash.
I own this body now, do you understand? You have no rights to it anymore. It’s mine to keep, to fuck, to break…
My breath caught in my throat, my lungs struggling to keep up.
You will never leave me, Jaden. This is your forever now. Embrace it.
“NO!”
The rage left my lungs in waves, the jagged energy cutting through the silence of that black room like lightning in a storm. My chest surged, a rush of anguish and destitution pulsing through my system, leading me down a dark hole of depravity.
I had to slow down. I had to re-center. Bring myself back to the present. Rearrange my erratic thoughts. I could manage this like I had before. I needed to rationalize.
Breathe, Jaden. Just breathe.
I was bound, yes. But I was alone.
I was cold. But I was whole.
And I was scared. But I was also smart.
I didn’t have to endure it like this. I didn’t have to give in.
It would be so easy to lose myself again to that familiar endless black hole of my helplessness, let it swallow me up until my mind was numb and my soul was dead.
So simple to just succumb to the tears and let my body break down into the jagged pieces Darren had fractured inside me.
To wallow in the pollution of self-pity and regret.
It was like trying to survive a hurricane with no shelter in sight.
I gritted my teeth.
No.
This time, I refused to allow myself that luxury.
This time, I wouldn’t go numb.
This time, I would retrain my focus.
This time, the only thing I planned to dwell on was my next move and form a new strategy he wouldn’t see coming.
If Darren wanted me to lie to him, then that’s exactly what I’d fucking do.