Chapter 29 Power #2
“I’m fine, Jaden,” he muttered with strain. “I think I just accidentally inhaled my own saliva. I do it all the time.”
I frowned at him. I had done that before too on many occasions, but I don’t think I ended up coughing that bad or for that long.
When Sid was finally settled, he cleared his throat and took a deep breath before his eyes eventually centered back on the medical tray. With a sigh, he moved toward the sink and thoroughly washed his hands before drying them.
“Sorry about that.” He cleared his throat again. “I want you to consider something, Jaden, and I hope for your sake, you’ll figure out how to properly wield it.”
I frowned as I watched him toss the paper towel in the trash and fit himself with a pair of latex gloves.
“Wield what?”
“The power Darren keeps giving you.”
I cocked a brow. Power? After what I’d just endured, I wasn’t feeling very powerful. More like the exact opposite. Like my battery had been drained in a single night. It would replenish eventually, but right now, I didn’t feel like fighting for an immediate charge.
When Sid noticed my frown deepen, he took another step forward.
“Darren clearly wants something from you, something he hasn’t obtained yet, and it’s something only you can give him.
And now, it seems he’s gotten to the point where he’s willing to settle for something artificial if he thinks it’ll ultimately lead to the real thing.
Do you know what that sounds like to me? ”
I slowly shook my head, refusing to make assumptions when it came to the man who ruled every second of my life. I was too exhausted for the mental gymnastics. “Why don’t you spell it out for me.”
“Desperation,” Sid answered, the single word puncturing through my brain fog.
I stared at him for a moment, slightly surprised at his volition. Openly calling Darren desperate? In a place where he was most likely being recorded?
When did Sid become so brazen?
“That’s a bold assessment, Sid,” I replied, my voice tight with caution.
“But not wrong,” he countered. “And it puts you at an advantage.”
“How so?”
“What do we know about desperate men?” he asked.
My gaze sharpened, wary of where this was headed, but too curious to back out.
“They’re vulnerable,” I deadpanned.
He nodded. “Exactly. Darren may feel nothing when it comes to other scenarios or people, but when it comes to you, you make him feel things he has no control over. And it pisses him off.
But based on this, it seems to me that he’s given up trying to control them. Which means the driver’s seat is officially empty, Jaden.”
I could feel my jaw clenching in anticipation.
“Do you even understand what it means to be desired by a man as powerful and dangerous as Darren? To have him so deeply enthralled by you?”
I shook my head, waiting for him to get to the goddamn point.
“It makes you just as powerful,” he emphasized. “And it makes you a very dangerous woman having a man like that in your corner…if you know how to control it.”
I almost rolled my eyes. Like Darren would ever allow me an ounce of that power.
“What exactly is it you want me to do, Sid?”
He frowned in irritation. “Take the key he’s given you, start the ignition, and drive the fucking car, Jaden. It’s not a difficult concept. Embrace the power he’s given you. Don’t squander it because you’re scared it might hurt you too. It won’t if you learn how to properly control it.”
My eyes drifted off at the memory of me actually driving Darren’s car, the ghost of a smirk forming on my lips.
“He let me drive once already. Though I doubt I’ll ever get the chance again after what happened to his Ferrari.”
Sid stopped for a moment, tilting his head as his brows knitted together. “Wait, he let you drive his Ferrari?”
I nodded in confirmation.
Sid cocked a brow as he stared back at me. “How the hell did you manage that?”
This time the smirk was real. “He lost a bet,” I answered bluntly. “To me.”
His face softened for a moment before he actually started to laugh. “Okay, sure he did, Jaden.”
I rolled my eyes. “He knew what the stakes were, and he chose to underestimate me. Either way, he did eventually follow through on the bet and let me drive for nearly an hour.”
Sid grinned as he stared at me, slightly shaking his head. “Well, damn, Jaden. The fact that you were actually able to get him to willfully hand over the driver’s seat is all the proof I need. That kind of progress gives me hope for you.”
I was silent for another moment before I huffed a laugh, shaking my head with absolute bewilderment. Was Sid actually encouraging me to manipulate Darren? To use him? Had he actually just said that out loud?
“Hope for what? After what he just put me through, how do you expect me to take advantage of that…progress?” I asked, rubbing the exhaustion from my eyes. “He can’t trust me.”
Sid sighed dramatically and folded his arms across his chest. “It doesn’t matter, Jaden.
If it did, you wouldn’t be breathing right now.
He’ll want you no matter what you do,” he reasoned, but I didn’t think my invincibility went as far as he thought it did.
The man was far too confident. “You need to think of Darren as a sword, Jaden. Regardless of the circumstances, if you swing it in the right direction, you’ll smite any enemy that stands in your way. Any enemy.”
I paused to consider what he said, my thoughts drifting into a very dark and bloody corner of my mind. I already knew Darren would destroy anyone who threatened me harm. Not even his youngest brother had escaped his fury when he tried to fight me in my octagon.
But what if Dominic had done worse? Would Darren murder his own family if they hurt me? Would he destroy his allies if they insulted me? Was there a line he wasn’t willing to cross when it came to me?
If that was the case, if his possessiveness and obsession ran that deep, then no one was safe. No one.
Suddenly, the little hamster in my brain that had flatlined long ago was now spinning that wheel with a new demented sense of purpose.
“Do you understand what I’m getting at?” Sid asked, his voice taking on a strange edge of agitation.
I nodded quietly, refusing to add more words to the conversation. What the hell was Sid even doing?
“Good. Now, let’s get this implant replaced and get you out of here.”
I was silent as Sid went through the process of removing the old implant and replacing it with the new one. My mind was so wrapped around what he had just openly suggested, I barely bothered to focus on what he was doing.
The man wanted me to use Darren’s desperate need for my love as a weapon against him, against anyone—but how the fuck would I even go about doing that? Positive reinforcement?
I could use his lust for me. I’d done that plenty of times. That was easy. But that was the Minors. Sid was asking me to enter the Majors. I wasn’t sure if I was prepared for that and what it might result in. After what happened the other night, my confidence to try anything was completely shot.
I sighed in frustration. While Sid was right that having something Darren wanted did give me some kind of power over him, it meant nothing if I couldn’t actually use it to my advantage.
I would just have to wait for an opportunity to appear and hope I had the guts to test those treacherous waters.
As Sid finished up, I glanced over at him, but when I did, my eyes suddenly caught sight of the reason for his odd lack of concern for his own skin.
It was subtle, but its meaning was loud and clear.
Keeping my discovery to myself, I looked back at the ceiling, my heart oddly feeling heavy in my chest.
When I was cleared to leave, I hopped off the table and thanked Sid for the replacement.
Then I headed straight for the door, pretending to ignore the slight dusting of blood that dotted the inside elbow of Sid’s white coat.
The very same sign my father had shown when he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.
The doors to my office burst open, Sid rushing through the doorway and storming over to my desk.
“Have you absolutely lost your goddamn mind?!” he practically shrieked at me, right before he went into another loud coughing fit, covering his mouth with his elbow.
I cocked a brow at his raging form, irate by the audacity of his sudden unwise interruption. Yet, as he stood there puffing out his chest like a man possessed, I couldn’t help but be slightly amused at his sudden boost of confidence to actually barge in here and question me.
Over the past couple of months, Sid had given voice to his disagreements with me far more often than usual.
He wasn’t the type to argue, just merely offered his medical expertise and then followed orders when told.
And while I valued his opinions, respected him even, his growing boldness was really starting to piss me off.
I glanced back over at Scott and Daniel, who were sitting in the chairs across from my desk, their eyes lit with intrigue.
Tilting my head toward the door, I gestured for them to leave so I could handle the red-faced old man without an audience.
When the doors closed behind them, I turned back to address the very distraught doctor.
“I assume you’re only here to report that my wife’s new “implant” was successfully replaced, and not to bother me with something that doesn’t actually concern you,” I said, my tone dark with warning.
Sid seemed to right himself for a moment, sucking in a broken breath before coughing again to clear his throat. “Of course, it’s done. But whether you want to admit it or not, Jaden’s mental health does actually concern me.”
I leveled him with a glare. “Careful, Sid. Your concern is reserved only for the directions I aim it in.”
He didn’t waver. “You tasked me with Jaden’s care. And I’m sorry to tell you that dragging her back into the basement and forcing her to tell you lies is not going to have a positive impact on her overall health.”