Chapter 4 Remedy
REMEDY
I lay back on the medical table, my eyes boring into the ceiling while a cold gel was rubbed onto my pelvis. Darren stood over me, his eyes carefully watching every single move Sid made as he set up the equipment to begin the one thing I had been dreading since I discovered I was pregnant.
The first ultrasound.
I wanted no part in it. I didn’t want to hear a heartbeat.
I didn’t want to see a bean-sized image on the screen.
I didn’t want to give this pregnancy any more recognition than I already had to endure.
The more involved I got, the harder it would be to deny the connection that would surely damn us both to hell.
If I cared for the child as much as Darren was expecting me to, then he could use that child against me to continue keeping me in line. And if I failed to comply, our child would suffer because of me.
If Darren believed I couldn’t give one single fuck about it, then maybe he wouldn’t bother. It would be one less weapon in his arsenal. Of course, he’d just find some other way to torture me.
But that whole plan of action reeked of disaster and complete impossibility.
Could I deny that child the love of a mother just to spare them some torture from their father? A father who planned on literally torturing them anyway? I didn’t think the scale weighed fairly.
I also seriously doubted the love of a mother could overpower the abuse of a father, especially this particular father-to-be. If I interfered with the upbringing Darren had in mind for our children, I was sure he would just forbid me from ever seeing them again.
The situation was so fucked up. There was no winning in any scenario.
I’d be forced to watch Darren corrupt our children from fucking infancy all the way into adulthood.
Turning them into fucking monsters just like him.
And if I had a girl? She would realize very quickly how little worth she had in her father’s life.
“There,” Sid suddenly said, pointing at the screen as he pressed the transducer across my skin. “There’s your baby.”
I closed my eyes, hoping that the sound of my own deep breathing would drown out the world around me.
“Jaden, look,” Darren ordered, but when I didn’t comply, he gripped my chin and turned my face toward the screen.
On a little ten-by-ten screen, there was the source of all my fears. This tiny shape in black and gray commanded so much attention, creating so much distress.
Could my body even support it? Was my womb healthy enough to bring it into this world?
For years, I’d felt diseased with trauma, contaminated from PTSD, and ruined by the brutal environment I’d been forced to endure.
My blood ran thick with a virus for which there was no cure, no salvation.
Would my trauma pollute this child too? Would they be able to survive their childhood with Darren if my body couldn’t produce the little capable warriors he expected?
Fuck! I was driving myself crazy.
“Looks like you’re about nine weeks, Jaden,” Sid commented, still observing the screen.
Jesus. I’d already been pregnant for over two months?
Sid then pointed out the gestational sac, the yolk sac, and the pulsing little heartbeat pumping away on the screen.
“Everything looks really good,” he assured.
Gaining courage, I spared a look at Darren, his expression crushing me even more. I’d never seen him look so prideful before. The corners of his mouth were slightly lifted, his jaw relaxed, and his eyes fully set on the image in front of him.
At least one of us was having a happy moment.
Suddenly, the footage on the screen of the ultrasound cut out, leaving nothing but a blank black screen.
“Ah, dammit!” Sid growled as he pulled the transducer away from my stomach.
“They told me they fixed this stupid thing! State-of-the-art tech, my ass!” He began pushing all kinds of buttons and knobs, but nothing seemed to turn the machine back on.
“I’m sorry about this. I will take care of it.
But at the very least, from what I could see, everything looks perfect. Congratulations to you both.”
Pffft. Perfect. Yeah, sure it is.
“Sid, can you give us a minute,” Darren said, making my stomach drop. The last thing I wanted to do was be alone in this room with him after what he just saw.
“Of course,” Sid replied. “I’ll go take care of this machine and let you know when it’s ready for use again.”
He then stood and wheeled the machine out of the room, shutting the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, I sat up and grabbed some nearby paper towel to wipe the gel from my stomach, revealing much more disdain on my face than I should have.
“Jaden,” Darren said, his voice soft but firm.
“Don’t,” I shot back, tossing the paper towel away and pulling down my T-shirt dress.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
“No.”
He crossed the room in a single stride, his hands reaching for my face, but I backed up to the end of the medical table, pressing my shoulders against the wall.
The warning glare on my face wasn’t enough to deter him, and I was only momentarily out of reach.
He stopped at the edge of the medical table, his gaze penetrating straight through my defenses, making me press my knees even tighter to my chest.
“Come here,” he ordered, pointing at the edge of the medical table.
Heat spilled through my veins, my stomach clenching at the thought of disobeying him. But my body was wound too tight to uncoil it.
Sighing, Darren struck his arm out like a fucking cobra, gripped my ankle, and yanked me down to the edge of the table. His hand then went for my throat, but I deflected it quickly, knocking his hand to the side.
On a deep growl, he lunged forward, using his upper body to push my back against the table, his hands grabbing both of my wrists and holding them down on either side of my head. I groaned in frustration as Darren pressed himself between my legs, keeping me pinned under him.
“You know, your attitude and clear rejection of our child is really starting to piss me off,” he growled.
I grunted under him. “Yeah, pregnancy hormones really are a bitch to deal with, aren’t they?
” The scowl on his face intensified, his hands gripping my wrists even tighter until I was wincing and gritting my teeth from the pain.
“Careful, Daddy. You’re hurting the vessel carrying your precious child. ”
The glint in his eye flashed with something dark and sinister, the corners of his mouth lifting into a wicked smirk.
Shit.
“Good thing I’ve turned you into a very durable vessel.”
Before I knew it, my ass was airborne, my legs swinging haphazardly until I landed on my palms, my back rolling against the tile floor as I tumbled my momentum into a somersault.
With my breath nearly knocked out of me, I rolled until I was hunched over on my knees, staring back with alarm at Darren’s charging form.
“What the hell are you doing!?” I snarled, my hands raising to my defense.
“I had hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this,” he seethed as he bent down to grab my throat.
I tried to deflect again, but this time, my arms did nothing but slam into the hard muscle of his arm, his long fingers gripping my neck with ease and lifting me off the floor.
My hands clutched around his wrist, using him as leverage to hold myself up as he dragged me to his chest. “But for some silly reason, you seem to think you’re untouchable now. And I have to remedy that.”
As I strained against his hold, Darren dragged me from the floor, lifted me, and slammed my body back down onto the medical table.
Pinning me in place by my throat, he took out his phone and pressed a few buttons.
My wrists were instantly pulled against the metal sides of the table by my diamond-studded cuffs, the strength of the magnets in them impossible to fight.
My feet were next, my legs hanging off the edge of the table as my ankles were forced against its outer sides.
“What the fuck are you doing!” I shouted at him, straining against the hold.
Darren then pulled out a very large, very sharp hunting knife from his belt, the kind that could gut a deer in a single swipe.
“I already told you,” he said, his voice laced with venom as he bent over me.
And then he raised the knife above my chest, and all I could do was shut my eyes.
A sudden tug against the top of my dress caught my attention, the fabric quickly giving way until it was completely cut in half. Opening my eyes, I found Darren parting the fabric to fall away, exposing the black satin bra and thong set beneath.
Adrenaline ripped through my veins, my lungs sucking in oxygen as I watched Darren’s eyes glaze over me with a hunger I was not prepared for.
“Whatever you’re about to do,” I began, my voice low with reason, “it’s not going to make me love this child.”
“I don’t care if you love our child, Jaden,” he said darkly, his eyes fixated on my exposed skin. “But you will accept their existence.”
He then flicked the knife between the cups of my bra, my breasts spilling out while the remainder of the fabric fell away. The soreness set in quickly, the straining pressure constantly tormenting my breasts, causing me to wince.
“I didn’t realize I was in denial,” I growled as I watched him bring the knife closer to my hips. He angled the blade under the flimsy fabric and tilted it up, the material easily sliding apart like butter and then repeated it on the other side.
“It’s not your denial that pisses me off, Jaden. It’s your clear fucking rejection.”
Darren then yanked the destroyed fabric from my hips and tossed it over his shoulder, his eyes roaming over my now bared pussy.
“Maybe I’m just doing it a favor,” I countered, hoping for a better argument to distract him from his current agenda.