Chapter 18
Chapter eighteen
Wynn didn’t know what the hell she was doing, and she didn’t care.
All she wanted was more.
More of this kiss, more of the feel of Iax against her, more of all her worries and pain being swept away by the incredible sensations flooding her body.
And underneath it all was wonder.
For her entire life, she’d had superficial relationships and watched others connect with each other, all the while feeling like there must be something wrong with her.
Because no person had ever stirred her blood enough for her to become physical with them. And adding a mood enhancer to the mix had never been an option. Drugs just didn’t work for her. She’d resigned herself that romantic relationships weren’t for her, and she’d been okay with that.
But even friendships had been hard. Foster had been the only one to truly know her, and even he hadn’t known everything.
He’d teased her about her love of spaceball and her need to closet herself away for hours at a time with a good book or just listening to music, instead of trying to understand her.
Connections were forced, not natural, and she’d always preferred her own company.
None of that seemed true anymore. Her head was a whirl of disconnected thoughts, while her heart thumped painfully in her throat. Her lower stomach expanded with heat and need. The apex of her thighs ached.
No person had ever made her feel this way, and he wasn’t even trying.
She could tell by the awkward movements, the fumbling, the erratic tempo of his breathing. The hard-on pressing against her abdomen should have freaked her out, but she tilted her hips, thrusting against him to relieve the pulsing need between her legs.
She couldn’t keep hold of her thoughts.
His groan lit her insides.
She just wanted to feel.
His hands explored her body through her clothing, leaving trails of lava in their wake. She leaned into his touch, reveling at how much sensation she experienced through a layer of fabric, her skin pebbling, yearning.
How much better would it be without her clothes?
Amazing. She knew it would feel amazing.
She rocked against him, wanting more, and his leg drifted upward until his thigh nestled between both of hers. Another groan ripped out of her as she found pressure and friction by tipping her hips. Her heart thumped harder between her ears with each movement. Heat spread over her skin.
She finally understood what all the girls in her dorm used to giggle about late at night.
Her hands drifted to face, over his jaw and cheeks. She marveled at its smoothness even as the action sent more shivers down her arms. He’d been here two days and, as far as she knew, hadn’t shaved. She stroked his scalp, fingernails scratching, and received a tremor from the touch.
I like that. Liked being the one who elicited these reactions and made him unravel. What would he look like when he comes? The thought spread heat downward to settle at her center.
She repeated the action, then stroked downward, over his shoulders to his biceps. She squeezed, admiring the thickness and strength of his muscles. Then her fingers trailed lower, down his arms, over his wrists to his waist, where she circled her hands and pulled him closer.
He broke the kiss with a groan, tucking his face into the place where her shoulder met her neck. He inhaled deeply. More shivers exploded over her skin. She tilted her head back, allowing him better access. His lips teased her skin, then he paused and lifted his head.
Glittering eyes searched hers. “Do I have permission to touch you?”
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. “You’re already touching me.” Her throat was so clogged with desire, her words tumbled over each other.
The corner of his mouth quirked, like he needed to smile but didn’t know how. “I want to touch you everywhere.”
“Yes.” She nodded, a frantic edge to the movement. “Yes, I want that too. You have permission. All the permission.”
Then she was pulling him down for another kiss, their teeth clacking. It was messy, and primal, and she couldn’t get enough. She wanted to drink him up. His scent and taste mixed in her head, a combination she didn’t have a name for, but contained some sort of citrusy, herbal note.
His hands fumbled with her shirt, tugging it from her pants.
When his fingers connected with her stomach, she inhaled a shocked breath.
Electricity rippled through her body, feeling like she’d just received a surge from a malfunctioning terminal.
He explored higher, brushing against her ribs, then the side of her breasts hidden beneath a layer of underwear.
She inhaled sharply, loving his hands on her skin. But it wasn’t enough.
“Backward,” she rasped, giving him a shove.
He complied, but kept her against him, their footsteps in time with each other. One step was followed by more until the door to her quarters opened at their approach. They passed through, and the lights turned on, brighter than those in the hallway.
She squinted against the glare, then froze. Everything came into focus. Iax’s eyes glinted down at her, holding an untapped wildness. His fingers flexed against her skin.
Panic swept away the haze of her lust. I was about to do it with a Calypson.
Wynn retreated. He followed for a step, then his hands dropped away from her body.
“Um.” She cleared her throat around the hard lump of regret lodged there. “This probably isn’t a good idea.”
She braced herself for his reaction, waiting for him to convince her to continue down this path. So many times, she’d put on the brakes with a guy because she felt nothing, and he’d try to change her mind, urge her to take an enhancer. It was only intercourse, after all.
This time she put on the brakes because she felt too much.
Iax only blinked at her, his chest rising and falling in gasping breaths, the rhythm mimicking her own.
Questions flooded her mind. Did he even understand where this had been headed? Did he feel this burning need the same way she did? Was this all as new to him as it was to her? His expression revealed nothing.
No, that wasn’t quite true. His parted lips, the focus he gave her, the way his fingers twitched at his sides like he wanted to grab her again, and the bulge straining against the front of his pants—she reacted to his needs as much as her own.
“I…” She ran a hand over her hair and surveyed her room, if only to break his intense stare. “I have some work I need to do.”
She hadn’t checked on the central hub’s reports since the snow began, and she needed to make sure there were no adverse effects in the greenhouse with the drop in temperature. There were the new seeds she’d planted too, and the damaged sapling.
A list built in her mind even while her body hummed with frustration. She wanted to continue where they’d left off, needed it with every cell in her body, but she also knew how absolutely unhinged giving into that would be—even if she’d never achieved the sensations currently rioting in her body.
You don’t have sex with a Calypson.
It was idiocy at its highest. She needed to get her head on straight.
Wynn took a step backward, then paused. Her body and heart told her not to leave him, an unfamiliar ache forming in her belly that tugged her closer, almost like a power cord connected them and she’d rather have it slack than pulled tight.
One step forward, then another, she stopped when their chests almost touched, staring up at him. She took a deep breath, inhaling his comforting scent.
“This might sound weird,” she said, examining his face, “but I’d like to keep you close.”
A beat of silence thrummed between them, then he tilted his head, nodding once. “I would like to stay close.”
Her shoulders relaxed, a warm sensation filling her chest. “Come,” she said, taking his hand in hers.
Tingles spread through her hand and up her arm at the connection. She inhaled a quick breath, regretting that she’d put a stop to things.
We could continue.
No! All the reasons she’d just given herself remained, and there were so many more that simmered below the surface.
Tomorrow. Hope laced the insistent thought. If the storm continued to rage, if they were stuck here longer, then she had more time to come to terms with these raw, untried feelings inside her.
And if not…
She swallowed. As far as she knew, he was still determined to take her to Sector Ten. She hadn’t tried to convince him otherwise. And why was that?
But if the CORE government found him here, it wouldn’t end well. The best she could do would be to convince him to leave on his own when the storm died down, before anyone arrived to check on her.
Clearing her throat, she tugged him forward and led him through the hallway to the lab. A white haze enveloped the world outside, stealing her breath. The wind had picked up, blowing the snow sideways. Thick swaths of it fell from the edge of the roof.
She kept hold of Iax’s hand as she rushed toward the terminal, and he willingly followed. Then she needed both hands, tapping on her systems to get a better read on what was happening to her fields.
The heat of Iax’s body warmed her arm as she worked, and she found herself leaning into him more than once.
So strange that this was happening to her now, with a Calypson, when she’d felt numb inside with romantic partners for so long.
Could it be because of what he’d told her? That she was Calypson too?
She pushed the thought aside—needed to if she wanted to keep her sanity—and tried to focus on her work.
Wynn analyzed the data streaming from the central hub. The probability of her seeds surviving any of this extreme weather was next to zero. She had to accept that, but wasn’t letting it beat her down. There would be a day soon when she would be out there again, planting.
The data kept her in place while the snowstorm worsened. She shook her head at it. The wonder she had felt at seeing those first flakes turned into worry for her planet. None of this was normal. She hoped people were being safe.
But no matter how much she tried to concentrate, with Iax so close, questions kept surfacing—more than she could contain. Especially over what would happen after the storm abated. She needed to use this time to convince him to leave her here.
Her chest squeezed at that thought, but she cleared her throat, trying to shake it off. His head turned toward her.
“How were you able to heal so fast?” she asked, her fingers moving over the terminal even though most of her focus was on him. “After being exposed to so much radiation?”
She sensed his hesitation and lifted her gaze. When it looked like he wouldn’t answer at all, she added, “How am I going to trust you enough to go with you if you don’t share information?”
His facial expression changed, the frown on his brow softening. “I have a natural ability to regenerate cells because I’m Calypson. It is the same thing you saw in the enlargement of your blood.”
Wynn rubbed at her forehead. “Yeah, but I can’t heal like that.”
“Because you are an anomaly.”
She huffed out a frustrated breath and refocused on the data in front of her. “What new information can you tell me about that subject?”
When he hesitated again, she paused. “How about this,” she said without looking at him. “How about with every truthful answer you give me, I’ll give you one too?” She lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “How does that sound?”
“It sounds fair,” he replied, but he didn’t look like he enjoyed that fact.
She couldn’t help the little quirk her lips made at an expression she could only call disgruntled. Refocusing on her terminal, she tapped to the next batch of data. “The healing thing?”
“Even the smallest of my cells are intelligent,” he said after a time.
Interesting. She really wanted to get a sample of his blood to analyze and see how it differed from hers. But before she could ask, he made good on their bargain, freezing her in place with his first question.
“Why do you cut yourself?”
Her lungs seized, and she felt heat crawl up her throat. That raw, exposed feeling returned. But fair is fair.
“It focuses me.” Tense, she regretted this game already. “Makes the world stop spinning. Your turn,” she added before he could follow up with another question. “Why didn’t you wear a UV-suit when you walked here?”
He paused before he responded. “I underestimated the effect of this planet and how far away I would land.”
“Wait. Where did you—”
“My turn,” he cut her off. “Why did you leave scars?”
Her breath left her in a sputter. “They were a reminder of what I’d lost. A badge of honor.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. That makes us even. She didn’t allow him to take a full breath before she asked, “How did you arrive on the planet?”
“In a pod disguised as a meteor. I had to adjust my landing parameters because of the storm.”
She stiffened in realization. The meteor. The one she’d seen fall while she was planting. It had been his pod.
He stepped toward her, and she tipped her head back to meet his gaze. “Why does your heart accelerate like mine when we are close?”
She sucked in a sharp breath and answered honestly. “I don’t know.” Because she really didn’t understand what was happening to her—what was happening between them.
The rest of the questions she’d had lined up in her head vanished.