Chapter 39
Chapter thirty-nine
Wynn opened her eyes and found the space beside her empty. She’d been having unsettling dreams, ones that echoed her time on the Guardian, where they’d shown her memories she couldn’t recall. Ones where she huddled with other children in the dark, confusion and hunger beating at her.
Those memories sometimes morphed into the faces of her parents, her adoptive parents, and a sense of calm would replace the fear, as it did now.
She stretched out her hand and touched the shiny black fabric of the pillow next to her.
It was cold, and so was her exposed shoulder. How long had Iax allowed her to sleep?
As she rolled onto her back, the sheets shifted with her, and she stared at the overhead in the dim lighting. What was she getting herself into?
All night they’d explored new ways to pleasure each other.
There was a tenderness between her legs she embraced, because pleasure outweighed the soreness.
With each new intimacy, she fell deeper into whatever it was they created between them.
Iax’s glinting eyes reflected her emotional journey back at her.
Whatever this was, they were in it together.
Swallowing the growing lump of emotion in her throat, she rolled to her side and slipped out of the covers. Cool air tickled bare skin as she went to the washroom for a steam. Once dry, she gave herself permission to explore the wall compartments of Sawyer’s ship.
An unnerving sensation crawled up her spine as she opened them one by one.
Along with a compartment dedicated to the color black, uniforms of every color, both CORE and Tellusian, filled the racks.
Even weirder, Sawyer had one compartment dedicated to more feminine clothing in a range of sizes.
Swallowing her unease, she found generic undergarments and a jumpsuit in soft pink close to her size, as well as short, gray boots that were a tad large.
Once dressed, she made her way to the cockpit.
A gasp clogged her throat at the image on the viewer.
The Calypson nebula stretched from one edge of the screen to the other. The clouds were drenched in blues, and purples, and oranges, then morphed into an electric teal blue. She’d never seen it so large before, so vibrant, and that age-old question popped into her head.
What are they hiding?
In a blink, the image disappeared, returning to the unchanging view of stars. Her eyes jumped to Iax. He’d changed into some of Sawyer’s clothes too, a black long-sleeved shirt, black pants with pockets down the side, and boots.
“We are a distance away,” he explained. “That was an enlargement.”
“Why did you remove it?” she asked, walking toward him.
He touched her hand when she was close enough, guiding her to sit on his lap. “Because it brought you fear,” he said against her temple, giving her a kiss.
She turned so she could see his face. This close, she could see the hazel color of his eyes beneath the glint. “Because you sense my emotions?”
He nodded once. “Though I cannot taste your mind, I sense your emotions like they are physical things.” His hand stroked her arm. “They wash over me. They curve around me. I am getting better at deciphering their meaning, but you tantalize me with new ones.”
How bizarre that he could read the minds of others but only feel her emotions.
He leaned closer and rubbed his cheek against hers. “In truth, I have become dependent on the experience.”
With a sigh, she melted into him, her back to his front, then frowned at the viewer. “I don’t think the nebula will ever not make me nervous. I’d like to see.”
“As you wish.”
The image returned and stole her breath again. She inspected it, trying to see what existed beyond the colorful gases, but couldn’t discern much at all. Her stomach twisted itself in knots. The clouds throbbed like a living entity.
And they headed right for it.
Right inside it.
The more she thought about it, the more she felt that familiar itch on her skin. She took a deep breath, willing the ship to stop spinning, but it didn’t help. She felt that slip, that loss of control that would send her into panic.
Then warm flesh connected with hers, stalling her breath.
Iax’s fingers wrapped around her wrist. It grounded her in a way she’d never thought possible from touch alone.
He seemed to know intrinsically what she required, and since he experienced her emotions, it made sense.
That connection kept her in Iax’s lap instead of falling into an abyss of hyperfixation.
The need for pain dissipated, and the ship settled around her. Wynn turned into him, pressing her face into his throat while entwining her fingers with his.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his skin, and gave his fingers a squeeze.
He nodded slightly, rubbed his cheek against her forehead, then turned so he was square to the viewer. The image changed back to the vast view of stars, but his arms remained around her.
Wynn stared at him for a moment. She wasn’t a pilot, or knowledgeable about ships, but she knew he didn’t control the ship the way Sawyer had, the way she’d seen others do. He never touched the console or adjusted the settings.
“How are you doing that?” she asked, keeping her gaze on his face.
“Doing what?” he asked, glancing at her.
“Piloting the ship without piloting the ship.” She cocked her head toward the controls.
He blinked, then hesitated long enough she thought he was choosing his words carefully, or didn’t want to answer at all.
“It is my essence,” he finally said, his tone even.
“Your essence,” she repeated. “You’ve used that term before. What does it mean?”
“My Calypson essence coalesces with the ship’s systems, making it unnecessary for me to use the tactile interface.”
She swiveled until the edge of the control panel supported her back, and she faced him. “Like how you do with people? You merge with the ship like you did with those people aboard the Corvus?”
“Yes. Merge is a good word for it. We work together.”
“And it’s the same for all Calypsons? This working together?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t know how it was possible, but she’d seen it with her own eyes.
If she dwelt on what happened on the Corvus for any length of time, swirling panic took hold.
Not because he would have merged with everyone and taken the whole warship to Sector Ten to save her, but because she should have felt guilt over that truth and was finding it hard to do so.
Every time she thought about what they’d done to her, what more they’d been planning to do, bile rose in her throat.
She’d thought she would die in that box.
That they would keep her there and she would never be free.
Would the same thing happen in Sector Ten? Were the Calypsons just as bad? Ready to sacrifice her in the name of science?
“Your negative emotions are resurfacing.” He encircled her wrist with his fingers.
“I think I just need a distraction,” she said, turning to rest against his chest, her cheek pressed to the soft material of his shirt.
He remained still for a moment, then let go of her wrist to place his hand flat against the terminal. “I have something to show you. From back on Earth.”
Wynn straightened when data streamed above the control panel, huge amounts of it at a rate she couldn’t decipher.
“What is this?” she whispered when images of the beasts intermixed with stacked files, reports, and personnel files of scientists she didn’t recognize.
As soon as she focused on something, it disappeared, replaced with some new fragment of data, making her head spin.
“After Knox took you, I found the origin of the animals. Scientists created them in an underground lab not far from your location. After years of experimentation, they turned on their tormentors.”
She blinked, trying to process what he said with what she saw, but her mind was having none of it. Then Foster’s face appeared, and her breath stalled in her throat.
Not possible. There was no way he had something to do with the beasts, the things that killed him.
“Where is this coming from?” Her voice sounded scratchy, wooden, in her own ears. “How are you showing me this?” He had only touched the panel with his hand, and he didn’t wear a PALM.
“The files and images are from my memory.”
She gasped and spun to face him. “How is that possible?”
He stared at her with a slight pucker on his brow. “I can download a certain amount of data and retain it for future use.”
She stiffened at her next thought. “Is your body completely organic?” Maybe Calypsons were cyborgs.
“Yes. I have less technology in my body than you.” He gently tapped the side of her temple near her ocular implant, inert now that she wore no PALM.
“Then how can that work?” Wynn shook her head in disbelief. “The process would corrupt information. No human could do that without tainting the data.” But she’d seen a similar process in action with what they’d done to her memories.
Wait. Her thoughts jerked to a stop, a moment of breathlessness, then tumbled forward again, parallels forming one on top of another. Without being aware of it, she moved from Iax’s lap to the seat beside him to access the files herself.
She’d already made connections between him and the beasts, the way their eyes glowed, but was it more than that?
Did the government have access to Calypson technology? How many scientists were working on this?
“Foster was in there.” His face was now buried under the data that came after it.
“I found evidence that your colleague was a part of the project for many years, even before you joined him at your outpost. A group of people who called themselves Strata ran it.”
The moisture in her mouth dried up. “So not government sanctioned.”