Chapter 43
Emma
I can’t stop thinking about Sebastian and our weekend. I’m also hoping that he’s been able to work things out with Dario.
Even though I’m on a plane hurtling toward my real life in LA, my heart is in Napa with my ex-boss. My fake fiancé. Giver of laughter and orgasms and an aching heart.
I’ve known it for years, but I couldn’t admit it to myself.
I called it a crush. An annoyance. A pain-point. Then I called it fun. I even called it falling.
All those words were safe. I could be a friend or a fuck buddy. I could even have a crush without getting my heart broken.
But what I feel, what I’ve always felt, for Sebastian Blake is love. It’s big and beautiful and scary.
Because at his core, Sebastian Blake is a shooting star: brilliant, ephemeral. And I’m a girl who has spent years looking up and wishing on him.
This weekend, I’ve been flying—high on life and love and my fake fiancé. And he’s promising that despite the distance, we can remain in the air.
Except, what happens if I don’t actually belong in the sky?
I’ve never been the glowing girl destined to be next to him on the red carpet.
The woman he needs, the woman he deserves, thrives in the limelight and the public eye.
I’m not her. I’m the one in the background, carrying a clipboard making sure everyone and everything is organized.
I want to have faith that this wasn’t just a fantasy weekend.
And I yearn to believe that out of sight won’t be out of mind, like it has been before. I pray that I’m not Sebastian’s latest hyper-focus, only for him to lose interest and turn to the next shiny thing.
I worry about all that, even as my heart reminds me of his loyalty to the people in his life.
All too soon, I’ll be landing. And my feet will be firmly back on the ground. I can only pray that my wishes on a star won’t just be a brilliant memory. I guess the first indication will be if Sebastian texts or calls, like he promised.
Then I think of what he said about phone sex. And my thoughts turn in another direction entirely.
I have five texts from Sebastian when the plane lands.
Sebastian:
I told you I’d text.
Sebastian:
You didn’t believe that I could be steadfast. Like that word? The British dude I’m playing next is very steadfast. It’s noted multiple times in the screenplay. But I’m going to prove to you I’m the most steadfast person you’ve ever met. So there.
Sebastian:
Emma? Where are you? You should have landed by now, according to the plane tracker.
Sebastian:
I arranged for Duncan to pick you up at the airport. He should have texted you already to coordinate.
Sebastian:
Em, you better message back or I’ll worry. And you know what happens when I worry. Well, I don’t usually worry about anything. But when I do, I get even more extra. So my worrying should worry you. Which is why you should message.
Me:
You’re ridiculous. And I’m fine. I’m just leaving the airport.
Sebastian:
How do you feel about Tuscany in September?
Me:
Do you want my thoughts in general? Or is there a particular reason you’re asking?
We text throughout the drive home. When I arrive at my apartment, I can’t help but notice how much smaller and shabbier it looks after living in basically a castle this last week.
My entire apartment could fit in the bedroom Sebastian and I shared.
But I remind myself that anywhere would look shabby in comparison. Even a multimillion-dollar home.
It also feels… lonely. How is it possible that I’ve already gotten used to Sebastian’s all-consuming presence in a little over a week? So much so that being by myself doesn’t feel like it used to.
I shower, dress in a cozy lounge set, and unpack. Then I check my work email and log into my bank account to catch up on bills. My stomach sinks since there have been a lot of start-up business expenses.
When I look at my account balance, I think I’m misreading the number. I blink, readjust my glasses, and look again more carefully. Still the same.
“What the fuck?” I say to the screen.
I look through the latest deposits, suck in my breath, and then grab my phone and type furiously.
Me:
WHY IS THERE A $750,000 DEPOSIT IN MY BANK ACCOUNT FROM YOU?
Sebastian:
I know. Shocking, right? It was supposed to be twice that. But your bank sucks and wouldn’t deal with that large of a transaction. It was a major process just to get that amount deposited.
Me:
Is this because of all the sex? Am I some extremely highly paid sex worker now?
Sebastian:
If it were for the sex, there would be way more money there. Tens of millions, at the very least. More. You could have my entire fortune.
Me:
Sebastian. Focus. Why did you make that transfer?
Sebastian:
Relax. It’s for actual work. Not for the fun kind. I realized you were never paid for all your overtime. All those nights, holidays, and weekends. So, here you go. Surprise!
Me:
I was paid well for it because that was what the job entailed. And I got a very generous salary.
Sebastian:
Nah. I had Matt run a spreadsheet on the extra time you worked. He had to do some guesstimating, but he came up with an amount. And then I doubled it. Cause you’re awesome. And so am I.
Me:
I am not accepting this money.
Sebastian:
But think about how it could help your business.
Even better, you could use it toward a house.
You can move somewhere safe. Otherwise, I’m going to have to pay for bodyguards and round-the-clock surveillance scoping out your sketchy neighborhood.
So one way or another, this will come out of my bank account.
Me:
Sebastian… boundaries.
Sebastian:
But I’m being steadfast.
Me:
You can be steadfast without being absurd.
Sebastian:
It doesn’t sound like nearly as much fun.
Me:
I’m returning your deposit. All of it.
Sebastian:
And I won’t accept it. I’m picturing you scolding me. It’s super hot. Which makes me wonder… What are you wearing? And how do you feel about phone sex? We can’t exchange naughty photos because stars always get hacked and no one’s allowed to see you naked except me.
I’m debating what to text when my phone rings.
I look at the number and see it’s Sebastian. My heart skips several beats, and I answer with a smile in my voice as I curl up on my couch to get comfortable.